rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Cutting Off my Spoiled Daughter?

Episode Date: September 15, 2022

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Welcome to R-slash, am I the butthole where a Karen tries to tell an adult 25-year-old woman to go to their room? Am I the butthole for laughing in my mother's friend's face when she told me to go to my room? I'm a 25, 25, okay. I was expecting OP to be like 15 here, but okay. OP is a 25-year-old woman, and she doesn't speak to her mother like at all. I had to go to my mother's house today to pick up an important document that I left behind when I moved out seven years ago. As soon as I got to the house, my mother suddenly had a massive emergency and realized that it was apparently her friend's funeral today and she completely forgot about it. I couldn't help but internally roll my eyes because there's always some drama which is why I've gone no slash very low contact.

She asked me if I would watch my two younger brothers, age 7 and 11 while she went to the funeral and I said absolutely not. This is my day off, I have plans and I have no relationship with them due to my mother stopping them from seeing me for years. I just wanted to get my birth certificate and leave. My mother asked her friend if she would babysit and asked me to stay for 10 minutes until her friend came. I didn't even get the opportunity to say no before my mother left the house. I was seething, but I resolved to wait 10 minutes. My mother's friend turned up and started berating me for not

agreeing to look after my brother as well my mother went to the funeral. I said, I don't have anything to do with my mother, it's my day off work, and I'm under no obligation to look after anyone else's kids. My mother's friend then told me to go to my room. I laughed in her face and started to leave the house and she asked me where I was going. I told her, my room at my apartment that I pay for with my big girl job. Because I'm an adult, not a child. And don't ever speak down to me like that again. And I left. My mother has left me loads of messages and missed calls saying that I'm the butthole for the way that I spoke to her friends. I do admit that I look kind of young, but I'm

still not happy with the way that my mother's friend spoke to me. Am I the butthole? Well OP, I certainly can't blame me for laughing because this post made me laugh too. Telling a 25 year old person to go to your room, if anything, this feels like R slash malicious compliance because when she said go to your room you're like, okay, see ya. Anyways, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your mom,

it's hard to tell from this story because she sounds like a hot mess. So if I'm just evaluating solely on what happened on this story and not like the history of drama, I'll give her, I don't know, two out of five buttholes for expecting you to watch her kids. And I'm giving her friend also two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthle for telling my daughter that I won't be paying for her college unless she attempts to have a relationship with my family? I'm a 38 year old man, and I have a 19 year old daughter, Ariel with my ex-wife, Lauren. We had Ariel too young, and it was a huge struggle. We moved in with Lauren's family.

I was working multiple jobs. Me and Lauren were best friends throughout all of this, but things ended when Ariel was too. Lauren's friend, Tori, told me that Lauren had been messaging guys, and when they went out, she would give out her number. I checked Lauren's phone, found the evidence, and asked for a divorce. Lauren was pissed and wanted to reconcile. I didn't, and we got split custody.

Lauren has made my life hell. Lauren has bad mouthed me when Miss Pickup times and make decisions without talking to me. Her dad offered me money to relinquish custody and I told him off. Ariel is now 19 and just started college. The deal was that me and her mom would split the costs. When Ariel was 6 I married Tori. Tori was a rock during the divorce, but we didn't date until two years later. Lauren used this to warp Ariel against Tori and our son, who's 13.

Ariel excludes them. Whenever Ariel spends the night, she'll only talk to me, or if my family is around, she'll go to her room. Our son just disappears into the basement whenever she comes over. It hurts me a lot. I've spent thousands of dollars on therapy because of this. But at this point, Ariel is being nasty just to be nasty. Her mom has convinced her that I cheated with Tori and had a baby, which is funny because, as I've pointed out, the timelines don't even match up.

I've done everything at this point, including family time, one-on-one time, and therapy. Ariel is still just playing root to them, and now they're done trying. Ariel graduated from high school in May and hosted a party. I was invited, but my family wasn't. I told Ariel that I found that disrespectful. So I told her I would send a card, but I wouldn't be going. She didn't seem to care and we haven't spoken since.

I got a call from Lauren saying that she had paid for the first semester of college, and she was wondering when I would pay my half. I said that I was no longer paying because I'm not pulling out of my household when Ariel is disrespectful to two thirds of it. My ex went off on me saying that we had an agreement. I reminded her of when her dad tried to buy my custody and said, you have what you always

wanted, full control and custody. You won so figure it out. Then I texted her that I've been putting up with this long enough. She got her 18 years of child support from me. So until she planned on setting the record straight, I was done with both of them, and then I blocked my ex-wife. I called Ariel and told her the same. I told her the reasons for why I'm not paying, and I told her she needs to look at loans. However, I told her that I would pay for her college if she at least tried to form a bond with my family because she created the situation with her attitude. So if she wants my help, she needs to at least try to bond with my family. She started crying,

but I did not fall for it. I told her what my expectations were and to let me know what her plan is so I can move the money around. My wife is on my side here, but still, I'm getting flack from others. Am I the butthole? Down in the comments, I'm gonna read this reply from Alan because he says exactly what I was thinking. Not the butthole. His daughter treats him like an ATM, all the while disrespecting him. What's worse is that she wants him to pay for college

with money that will come from both him and his new wife, who she treats like garbage. Like it or not, they're a family now. And if she refuses to be. Like it or not, they're a family now, and if she refuses to be a part of that family, then she has no right to additional support from it. She can't have it both ways. OP already paid his child support, so he made sure that she was taking care of while growing up. She's now an adult, so she has to deal with the consequences of her actions. Yeah, I agree 100%. She's 19 years old now, so if she wants to treat her daddy like a garbage, then she can

do that. But she can't also be surprised when her dad suddenly cuts her off. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Lauren an aerial both 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for crying to my husband? My 18 year old son, Eric, just graduated high school. I'm very proud of him because he has ADHD and school has always been a struggle for him, but he's going to college and his future is promising.

I was out with my two girlfriends who both have kids the same age as Eric. Well I excused myself to the washroom and right before I was about to rejoin them, I overheard one of them say that I must be so disappointed in Eric. Disappointed because he's not studying law or medicine like their kids. This got my attention and I kept listening. They continue to talk about how he barely graduated, and then they made a few odd jokes about how Eric's probably going to follow in my footsteps and marry a rich older lady. They talked about my son's reputation and laughed about how he clearly cares more about his face than his future, just like his mother. This hurt me a lot. I was heartbroken. Not only were

they insulting me, but my son as well. I walked back into the room and they went silent, but acted as if they weren't just talking trash about me. I didn't mention it, and simply decided to never hang out with them ever again. But when I got home, my husband asked me if anything was wrong, and I just began to cry and told him everything. I've been friends with them for a year now, and gosh, I don't even know. He was really angry. He had invited them and their families to go on a quick two-day trip, and gosh, I don't even know. He was really angry. He had invited them and their families to go on a quick two-day trip, and he called their husbands and canceled.

When they asked why, he told them there was no way in hell that he was paying to take two bitter mean girls who insult his wife and son on vacation. Well, I got a call from those two, and they were really upset. They said I need to tell my husband to rethink his decision and that they were just joking around because their kids were really looking forward to the trip. I told them that I didn't want to do that and they said that I should have talked to them instead of crying to my husband like a w- B- I told them to f off and they replied with,

This is exactly why we hate you. Wait, sorry, are you gonna go cry to your husband again? That's stung a little, and now I'm wondering, am I the butthole for not being straight up and crying to my husband instead? These two think that I am, and my sister agrees that I should have dealt with it myself,

and I went too far by telling my husband. Okay, this post is kinda confusing me, because I literally don't understand why you wouldn't tell your husbands. If anyone insulted me and my child, my wife would be the first person I tell because that's like kind of the whole point of being married to have someone to confide to,

to like share your feelings with and be like, hey, let me tell you about my bad day and this terrible thing that happened. Oh no, sweetie, what happened? Like that's a 100% normal and even expected conversation between a married couple. If anything, it'd be weird if you didn't tell your husband. Like I'm not saying he has a right to know or anything extreme like that, I'm just saying you're married. Why wouldn't you tell your husband about this really awful thing that happens to you with your friends?

Huh? What is your sister talking about? I understand why your friends are upset because they're not getting your free vacation, so of course they're gonna be upset about that. But like, what is your sister talking about? And like, man, this doesn't even make sense. Why are they criticizing you for not talking to them directly when they didn't talk to you directly? They were talking about you behind your back,

so you can't talk about them behind their back, huh? O.P., you get zero out of five buttolls. You did absolutely nothing wrong. talking about you behind your back, so you can't talk about them behind their back? Huh? OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Also, your husband did nothing wrong. If anything, I applaud him for sticking up for his wife and his son. Your friends, if you can even call them that, get 2.5 out of five buttholes. Your husband's right OP, they're just mean bitter women.

Am I the butthole for bringing my sister-in-law's wallet to the restaurant when she conveniently always forgets it? I'm a 28 year old woman, and my sister-in-law, Amy, who's 26, always comes to visit from out of town. She stays with us instead of going to a hotel, and she always wants to go to expensive restaurants. She always conveniently forgets her wallet, or comes up with some excuse as to why she can't pay her share. She's implied that since I make much more money than she does, I should be the one to pay. No, not my husband should pay, but me specifically. I do make a fair amount of money,

but not so much that I can treat someone every time they come into town. Nonetheless, in the past, I've just paid the bill and asked her to pay me back, but she never has. She made a reservation at an extremely expensive restaurant last night, and before we left, I made it clear that I would not be paying her bill. This is where I might be the butthole, and I'll admit, I got this move straight from an episode of 2.5 men. As we were leaving, her and my husband went to the car. I pretended I forgot something and went back inside. I found her wallet sitting right on top of her suitcase. I put it in my purse and we went to the restaurant. When we were done eating, I asked for separate bills. She said, no, we need one bill because I forgot my wallet again.

I reached into my purse person said, this wallet? She was extremely furious. She said that I shouldn't have touched or grabbed her wallet. So am I the butthole for taking her wallet and bringing it to the restaurant? Alright so, okay, so we all pretty much know exactly what's going on here. O.P. Sister-in-law is just lying. She's intentionally not bringing her wallet

because she doesn't want to pay. And down in the comments, pretty much everyone is backing her up, but I'm gonna be honest, I kind of think that she shouldn't have handled it this way. So I think I am gonna give OP like a one out of five butthole score just because there are so many better ways

that she could have handled this. For one, when she went back to the house because she forgot something, she could have called this. For one, when she went back to the house because she forgot something, she could have called her sister-in-law and said, hey, so I noticed that your wallet is still here. I guess you must have forgotten it. Should I grab it so you can pay your half of the bill? Or like failing that, it's 2022, man.

Just because someone forgets their wallet, that's a lame excuse. There's Venmo, PayPal, there's like a hundred different ways to pay if you don't have your wallet. So like, I definitely understand the point you're trying to make OP. You're trying to be like, okay, I'm not falling for your BS anymore. Here's your wallet, pay your half. I just feel like, you know, there's better ways to do it that doesn't involve taking her wallet because, you know, it is kind of

lucky to take someone else's wallet. So I'm on your side, OP. Like, I agree with you, something had to be done about the situation. I just think that since there were like non-offensive ways to do it, but you chose the offensive way, then yeah I guess you kind of deserve maybe more like a 0.5 out of 5 butthole score. Your sister-in-law on the other hand deserves 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. She's intentionally lying and manipulating you to get you to pay the bill. Also your husband deserves 1.5 out of 5 buttolls because he's just letting his sister manipulate you. Like, forget your wallet once.

Okay, but after like the second or the third time, your husband really should have stepped up and been like, look, sis, you gotta start paying your half of the bill or you just can't come out with us anymore. And not to mention, your sister-in-law is the one who invited you guys out, so etiquette would dictate that she's the one who invited you guys out, so etiquette would dictate that she's the one who's responsible for the bill, right? Anyways, OP, I'm on your side, I really am. I just, personally, if it were me in that situation, I would have been like, hey, what's your Venmo before we go out, or what's your PayPal, or whatever. Or hey, you want me to grab your wallet? I just would have preferred the

delicate approach personally. That was our slash of my The butthole, and if you liked this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.