rSlash - r/AmITheA--hole For Exposing My Sister as a RACIST at Her Wedding?

Episode Date: July 31, 2022

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Welcome to R-Slash. Am I the butthole where O.P. sends a Karen's daughter to the hospital? Am I the butthole for being the reason that my friend's daughter had to go to the hospital? I know the title sounds horrible, but I don't know how else to put it. I'm not a very busy person. I don't start college until September and I don't have a job, so there's not much for me to do. A few weeks ago, my 22-year-old friend, Alice, came to my door with her daughter, Millie who's three, and told me she really needs me. Apparently she had an emergency to attend to, and she needed an urgent sitter. She didn't really ask. She just gave me the kid in a bag of toys and books, and told me she would be back in a

few hours. I have no problem with this. Millie is a very sweet kid, and she knows me well be back in a few hours. I have no problem with this. Millie is a very sweet kid and she knows me well enough to be comfortable around me. Still, it was a bit unexpected, but I was going out to the cinema so I thought that I would take her with me and we would walk around a bit and watch something. Everything went smoothly. We watched a movie together, Millie seemed happy and I was enjoying my time as well. Then we went to the park and I thought that it would be nice to get us some ice cream. We both had vanilla swirls and she seemed to enjoy it, but as soon as we got home she

started throwing up and developed what seemed to be a rash. I thought that maybe she got a bug or something and I called her mom, but when she didn't pick up I took her to the hospital. Apparently Millie has a mild allergy to Dairy. Alice did not tell me this. Thinking back, I had never seen Alice give her Dairy, but I thought that that was a dietary choice, and to be honest, I barely even noticed it. I never like explicitly knew this fact.

Millie was safe and nothing bad was going to happen to her, but she was obviously very uncomfortable until the antihistamines kicked in. I kept calling Alice, and she only picked up a few hours later, and as soon as I told her that we were at the hospital, she got furious. When she came in, she yelled at me, telling me that I was trying to kill her baby, because I had to take care of her in such short notice, and I was an idiot for not knowing that her child would react like that to ice cream. I've apologized many times, sent them cards and a present for Millie, but apparently she's been telling our group of friends that I tried to hurt Millie and I shouldn't be trusted around children. Some of our friends berated me for my lack of attention and told me that I would have

to carry the responsibility if anything worse happened to Millie. I tried to explain that I didn't know and nothing bad had happened to her and I did my best to help her but it still became a divisive event. Am I the butthole? Is it really all my fault? I really want what's best for Millie and I would never do anything to hurt her. Okay. If I were giving my daughter to someone to watch and milk could kill her, I would never do anything to hurt her. Okay, if I were giving my daughter to someone to watch, and milk could kill her, I would definitely, definitely, definitely tell that person that,

Hey, by the way, don't give her milk because she's allergic and she might die. OP, this is 100% not your fault. How could you have known? You're not psychic. Alice should have told you she didn't, so it's her fault. O.P. you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Alice gets 2.5 out of 5 buttholes for being a bad friend and a worse parent. Am I the butthole for canceling the payments for my daughter's wedding? After she told my wife that she isn't invited, my daughter, who's 27, is getting married this fall. I'm her dad, who's 58 years old, and I'm supposed to pay for the wedding

That's what we agreed on. We got to save the date invitations a few days later and I put the payments through my bank They still need to be approved so the money hasn't been paid yet. My wife is not invited to the wedding I've been divorced for 15 years and married to my wife for eight years now. My daughter never really liked my second wife They did not get a long well. My other two kids loved my new wife. I called my daughter and asked her why my wife isn't invited. She said that it's her wedding day and she only wants to invite her real family. I said, well, did you invite your mom's boyfriend and she said yes? I said, well then you should invite my wife too, or I'm not paying for the wedding. She declined and said that she's still not inviting my wife. I told her that I'll cancel the payments then and she didn't believe me.

I canceled them and my daughter is now super pissed at me as is my ex-wife. Am I the butthole? And OP clarifies in an edit that he did not cheat with his new wife. He met her five years after the divorce. Apparently, his daughter took her mom's side during the divorce and the relationship has been rocky ever since. Alright OP, this is really, really cut and dry. If your daughter doesn't want to invite your wife to the wedding, then that is 100% her

right. However, if you don't want to pay for the wedding as a result of that, then that's also 100% your right. Normally, I would say no one deserves a butthole score here. However, your daughter is clearly being hypocritical by inviting her mom's boyfriend, but not your wife. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your daughter 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for ruining my sister-in-law's honeymoon by exposing her racism? I'm a 27 year old woman, and my sister-in-law, whose 30 got married last weekend. She also happens to be my boyfriend's sister. They're

white and I'm Middle Eastern, and a dark one at that with rave and black hair. She was looking for a photographer who didn't bank ruptor, so I suggested a friend of mine who's new in the business and charged less than half, because these things cost over 5,000 euros these days. She was excited, and I set up a group chat with her and my photographer friends. We talked a bit, and later they met up and started directly messaging each other. The wedding was amazing, and everything went smoothly. I was one of the guests and she seemed happy. The next day they went off to their honeymoon. I don't know if it was by mistake,

but instead of texting the photographer directly, like she'd done for the past few months, she texted him in our old I-message chat. She thanked him but had a favor to ask. She wondered if he could retouch some of the asymmetry in the flower archway. But also, if he could take me off of some of the photos because I'm too dark and I ruin the color palette. Not all the pictures, just the ones that she's in. I texted back, are you kidding me? She didn't answer. I took a screenshot and posted it to

my Instagram story, tagging her in it. She called my boyfriend crying her eyes out, calling me a butthole for embarrassing her and ruining her honeymoon. My boyfriend thought that it was a low blow. I was blinded with rage when I did it, but even now I'm calm and I still don't feel like I was the butthole. But people have been contacting her, apparently asking if she really wrote this. Fuck racists, OP, fuck em.

If you don't want to be in bears for being a racist, then try not being a racist. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. She gets 2.5 out of five buttholes. Saying that you're so dark that you ruin the color palette? Yikes! Let me guess, she preferred a lighter color palette. Am I the butthole for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and taking the girls and going home after he made them wait outside of the restaurants? I'm a mother of twin 19 year old girls. Their dad and I split up six years ago and I'm now married to my husband, Kevin. The problem is, Kevin thinks that my girls aren't disciplined simply because they don't

follow everything he tells them because they don't see him as their father. We've already talked about that. Especially the part where he expects them to dress and behave the way that he wants them to. He even called them weirdos, but that's just how teenagers are, and it's not a new thing. Anyways, I told him he needs to loosen up a little and lessen his expectations of them. But I get that that's hard to do, given that he was brought up in a conservative household with a hardcore Christian family.

Last week, he started a fight after seeing one of the girls' hairstyles and saying that she looked trashy. Because of that, we had to cancel our trip to the mall because he refused to drive us. A couple of days ago, we wanted to go out for dinner. I was intending on getting off work at six, but I had some stuff to get done. My husband and I agreed that he take the girls

to go to the restaurant and wait for me there. He called me before they left the house to complain about what the girls were wearing. The girl sent me pictures, and I thought nothing was wrong with their outfits, and I told them to drop it and just go. He said fine, then muttered something about me enabling them and then hung up. While I was still at work, I got a call from one of the girls telling me their stepdad had them stand and wait outside the restaurant because he didn't want to be seen with them dressing like that.

I was stunned, so I rushed to the restaurant and found them near the car. They explained that he told them to wait in the car until he told them to come in. Basically, wait for me. And they started crying. I had them get inside my car, then I went inside the restaurant and found my husband on his phone. I went off on him and told him he should be ashamed of himself for treating my daughters like they were something to be ashamed of. He tried backpedaling, saying that it wasn't like that, but I interrupted him and then walked out after canceling

dinner. We went home and he came back hours later trying to argue that I can't blame him for disapproving of the girl's recklessness and that he tried communicating that, but I shut him down and treated him as less of a parent when he's just trying to do what's best for them. But he doesn't speak for me or the girls anymore. Okay, so I can't believe I have to say this, but first of all, your daughters are grown as adults. They're 19 years old, they can dress however the hell they want to dress. Of course they don't want their wardrobe controlled by their stepfather. What 19 year old would?

What I can't figure out OP is why are you still married to a guy who wants to control your daughter so much? This guy behaves like he's from the 1800s. There is no way this is new behavior. So why do you marry this guy? Why are you still with this guy? So I'm giving your daughter zero out of five buttholes. They're just being normal 19 year old girls.

I'm giving your husband three out of five buttholes for being weirdly controlling and sexualizing your daughters. I'm also giving you three out of five buttholes for subjecting your daughters to this guy. Am I the butthole for calling out my sister for breastfeeding at my wedding? I'm a 34 year old guy and my sister gave birth two months ago. She brought the baby to my wedding with my 23 year old wife. My sister breast feeds wherever she goes. We visit her house, she'll breastfeed in

front of us. Visiting our parents, she'll breastfeed. Going out in the public setting, she'll sit on a bench on the park and breastfeed. Go out to a restaurant, she breast feeds. It's everywhere. I've never spoken out about it because I know that she'll get mad and offended, but when she did that at my wedding, I lost my cool. During the reception dinner, she did it again. I kindly approached her and asked her why she didn't bring formula, or at least pump milk out and put it in a bottle so she wouldn't have to do this in the moment. She said, because I don't have to, I feel comfortable breastfeeding. Getting milk out on my own is more painful. I said that she could make this sacrifice and compromise for one day instead of doing this

in front of 250 guests on my wedding. She said that she can't do much about it now because the baby has to have her milk. I told her she should be more thoughtful of that then, instead of completely embarrassing herself and us by doing this. I told my wife what the deal was, and she said that I'm the butthole, and I should immediately apologize to my sister. My parents also sided with my sister, and now, pretty much everyone thinks that I'm the butthole since I'm the only person who had a problem with it. The only reason that I called her out is because I consider it bad, etiquette, and tacky to do that in a formal event, and she could have just found another solution for that night. Am I the butthole?

Okay, so it's your wedding OP, you can apply whatever rules you want. However, the thing about applying rules is you have to actually notify guests of the rule. She's apparently breastfed in front of you countless times, dozens of times, maybe hundreds of times, and every single time you haven't said anything, so how is she supposed to magically know that during your wedding she has to prepare breast milk ahead of time? Huh? How is she supposed to know that? Like, you wanted her to pump breast milk, she might not even own a breast pump. So for you to suddenly spring this on her in the middle of your wedding, that's just bad planning on your part. She has every reason

to believe that you're totally okay with it, because why shouldn't she? O.P., you're not wrong necessarily for winning no breastfeeding at your wedding, but you are stupid for assuming that your sister would follow this rule that you've never told her about. I'm giving your sister 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving you 1 out of 5 buttholes and I'm also giving you 2 out of 5 doofus score. Am I the butthole for calling my hot tempered guy worker emotional to embarrass him into calming the F down? So I'm an engineer working on a team with 7 decently chill guys and then one guy with anger issues. Like he can't just have a respectful disagreement, he'll raise his voice and yell and get up close to your face.

I hate it! So I started by complaining to my boss about it and he brushed it under the rug saying that he's just like that. And if I thought that he was bad now, then I should have seen him 10 years ago before he mellowed out. It makes me wonder what he was like 10 years ago because he sure is hellowed mellow now. It's also a small enough company that there's no HR,

only the corporate management who didn't help. So I took a different approach. I stopped calling him angry or calling what he was doing, arguing or yelling. I just swapped in the words emotional or throwing a tantrum or having a fit. I was kind of hoping that it would shift his reputation from domineering big man vibes to emotional and tantrumming, weak sad baby vibes. So I started just making subtle comments. Like, if I had a meeting with him and he got a temper,

I'd mention to the other people. Wow, it's crazy how emotional Jay got. I don't know how he has the energy to throw a hissy fit at 9 a.m. I'm barely awake. Or when my boss asked me to recap a meeting that he missed, I told him. Dan, Jack, and James had some really great feedback from my report for the client. Jay kind of had trouble managing his emotions and had a temper tantrum again, but you know how he gets. Or when a coworker asked why Jay was yelling, I'd say, honestly, I don't even know. He was getting so emotional about it that he wasn't speaking rationally. I tried to drop these things in subtly and some of my coworker started picking it up.

I don't think they were doing it consciously, just saying stuff like, oh, another of J.S.Fits or something. I got gutsy enough to even start saying it to his face. Like, hey, I can hardly understand what you're trying to explain when you're so emotional. And again, my co-worker started picking up on it and I even caught several of them telling him to get a hold of himself. After a while, he started to get a reputation as emotional and irrational, which I could tell Pistom off, but hey, he stopped yelling at me so much.

Anyway, he slipped up this week and I just said, I really can't talk to you when you're being this emotional. And he blew up at me, asking me why I'm always calling him that. I just shrugged and said, Dude, you look like you're on the verge of tears. Go look in the mirror before you ask me. And he got really angry that I suggested that he might start crying. That was kind of a flippant comment that I made.

He was red-faced angry, not tearful angry. I could tell. I feel like a bit of a dick for being petty and trying to gaslight this guy into thinking that everyone around him sees him like a crybaby. But it also mostly worked when the proper channels didn't. Am I the butthole for calling my coworker emotional when he gets mad? Oh man, Opie, this is so genius. This is so clever! You've completely reversed this guy's reputation and turned something that made him into like a badass into a wussy instead. And like, my favorite thing about this post is everyone down in the comments is giving OP other suggestions for things that she can say.

Like, he had another outburst, he escalated? I like this one. Jay, why don't you step outside and take a minute to pull yourself together? We'll wait. Go on, it's okay. I think Jay gets cranky after having his coffee. Maybe we should schedule meetings around that to avoid another meltdown. Oh, these are so smart! I'm just personally tickled by how clever this is. Anger is absolutely unem, just like sadness or like envy or whatever else. So calling him out for his emotional outburst is honestly accurate. And if corporate's not going to do anything about it, then more power to UOP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes.

I'm giving J 2 out of 5 buttholes. I'm also giving corporate 2 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.