rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Getting My Harasser Fired?

Episode Date: August 17, 2022

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to R-Slash, am I the butthole where someone sexually harasses a grieving widow? Am I the butthole for filing a report against my late husband's colleague and getting him fired? My husband, who's 33, passed away three weeks ago. He used to work for this company for four years. He knew lots of people and made many friends there. For days, I kept getting texts from his colleague, Ted. I don't know Ted personally, and I have no idea how he even got my number. When he first texted
Starting point is 00:00:30 me, I texted, where did you get my number? And he replied saying that he got it from my husband. At first, I felt annoyed, but then I started getting flirty texts from him. They started getting more and more inappropriate. I warned him to stop, but he sent me a dick pick one night at 3 a.m. and he asked if I needed companies since I know that you're lonely. I was so appalled and enraged
Starting point is 00:00:57 that I couldn't even sleep that night. I waited till the early morning to go to his company, straight to his boss, and I filed a report against him after explaining in detail about his behavior. He ended up getting fired because the other colleague said that he did me and my husband wrong, and he disrespected his memory. He started arguing about how low what I did was coming to his works in hopes of ruining his livelihood. He kept saying that it was between him and I, and his workplace had nothing to do with this.
Starting point is 00:01:27 But I told him that the only way that I even know who he is is that he's my husband's colleague. He and one of his friends said that I was aiming to get him fired and that he did nothing wrong, and I could have talked it out with him instead. My mom called him a piece of garbage for doing this to my husband and me. But she also said that he had a point and that I shouldn't come after his livelihood since the guy has a kid to provide for. I feel bad about the whole thing and now I feel like I made things worse and I acted out
Starting point is 00:01:56 of emotions. Oh my god. Opie, this guy said that, oh why'd you go to my boss? We could have talked it out, but you did. You did try to talk it out. You told him to stop and he didn't. So like, sorry, buddy, but you already burned that bridge. And it's not like this is some random guy who you met on the street after your husband died.
Starting point is 00:02:16 This guy got your number through work. So he's the one who brought work into this. And coming after, ah, sending dick pics to a widow of three weeks. Oh my god. Give the lady a chance to mourn. And then you know, most importantly, let's not forget the really important fact here, which is you didn't fire him. His company fired him. All you did was give them the information. There are the ones who decided, no, we don't want to work with this guy. This the ones who decided, no, we don't
Starting point is 00:02:45 want to work with this guy. This guy is a piece of garbage and we don't want to work next to him every day, so we're going to fire him. They made that decision, not you, and like, okay, you know what? They were like, oh, you were trying to get, you were trying to get me fired. You came after my job. So what, man, even if you intentionally did this with the objective of getting this guy fired, so what man, the guy deserves it. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. That guy gets 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my ex that his lack of money isn't my issue?
Starting point is 00:03:15 I'm a 36 year old woman. I have a 12 year old daughter, Sadie with my ex husband John, who's 39. We got divorced 5 years ago ago and I have primary custody while he sees her two weekends a month. Last year John got married to Amanda who has sole custody of her kids from her previous marriage. Amanda has two little girls who are 10 and 8 years old. Amanda is a stay at home mom. Not for any health reasons, she just doesn't want to work while John works in 9 to 5. He makes enough money to support them, but not enough to live in luxury. I have a much higher paying job.
Starting point is 00:03:50 Since it's just me and Sadie, I make sure that she has the best possible life. She goes to a private school, I set up a college fund for her, and she has much better things in most kids, like a phone, clothes, etc. I still manage to raise her to be humble and not take things for granted. And she's one of the hardest working people that I know, always making sure to get good grades and keep her room tidy. Well, the last few times she came back after a weekend at John's place, I noticed that the clothes she was bringing back in her duffel bag were the wrong size and much cheaper and poorer quality than what I usually buy for her. I asked her why that was, and she told me that when she went to her dad's, Amanda takes away her nice clothes and gives them to her kids. Meanwhile, Sadie gets the clothes they buy from target.
Starting point is 00:04:36 I asked Sadie if she wanted her clothes back, but she said that she didn't mind sharing since all of her favorite clothes were kept here. The problem came when I went to pick her up last weekend. I had a business meaning and I couldn't drive her over, so Amanda offered to pick Sadie up from school, which hadn't happened before. When I got there on Sunday, John and Amanda asked me to sit down with them, and when Sadie came to hug me, Amanda sent her to her room quite harshly, saying that her punishment wasn't over yet. I was confused because Sadie very rarely misbehaves. They sat me down in the kitchen and said that it was unfair for Sadie to be going to a private
Starting point is 00:05:14 school while her kids go to a public one. So they decided that Sadie would be pulled out of private school and put in the same school as their girls. They also said that I should keep up Sadie's punishment because when they told her this, she blew up at them. Told them that it wasn't fair and yelled that Amanda and her kids weren't even her real family,
Starting point is 00:05:33 that all they did was steal from her. I told them in no uncertain terms to f*** off. I would not be pulling my child from a school that she likes away from her friends because they can't afford it. I told them they could easily make as much money as me if Amanda started working in her field because she has the qualifications and the job market is very good. I told them that their money problems aren't my issue. And if Sadie's items get stolen again or if they try to pull her out of school, I will be taking this to court. They've been blowing up my phone ever since,
Starting point is 00:06:06 calling me a selfish butthole. And after telling the story to a friend, he told me that I was rubbing my success in their face, but I still feel like I didn't do anything wrong. Still, am I the butthole? All right, let me just say that I have absolutely nothing against stay-at-home moms. My wife is a stay-at-home mom,
Starting point is 00:06:24 so completely no judgment to anyone if you're a stay at home mom, 0% judgment for me. Now that being said, if you choose to be a stay at home mom, that means you have to live with the consequences. One of the consequences is you're gonna have a lower income, naturally. So like, if Amanda wants to stay home and be a stay at home mom, then sure, more power to her, but you can't get upset because she doesn't have enough money because if you want more money,
Starting point is 00:06:48 go get a job. This is especially true since her kids are, what, eight and ten years old. If your kids are eight and ten, then what's there to do? They're off at school all day. I don't want to belittle what it takes to raise kids, but you're not going to be doing laundry all day, Monday through Friday from like,, 9-3 while kids are at school, that means it means it's spinning lots of time, watching Netflix, chilling out, doing whatever she wants. And again, like I said, more power to her.
Starting point is 00:07:14 But punishing a 12 year old girl because her mommy is richer than you is awful. They are completely deluded and extremely entitled. They're literally, literally stealing from a 12 year old. Come on, come on now. OP, you are completely justified in the way that you reacted. And no, you're not rubbing your success in their faces, you're just living your normal life. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. Amanda and John get three out of five buttholes. You know, if anything OP, I'd better give you props like for real, most 12-year-olds,
Starting point is 00:07:47 if someone stole something that belonged to them like their clothes or their toys or their possessions, they'd be extremely upset, but a 12-year-old girl showing grace and understanding and giving away her clothes to her step siblings, that's so mature for a 12-year-old. Honestly OP, keep it up. Sounds like you're doing an amazing job.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Zero out of five buttles for you and for Sadie. Am I the butthole for not caring for a child that I said that I wouldn't care for? I'm a 28-year-old woman who's child-free. I don't even really like kids. My 23-year-old sister, Amber, has a kid, and because we're a pretty close-knit family, she's pretty used to everyone pitching in to help. She said she was going out for a few hours and was stopping at my house to pick up a package delivered to me by mistake. When Amber got to my house, she put her kid
Starting point is 00:08:33 down and said, thanks for watching him by the way. I asked her what she was talking about, and she said she was thanking me for watching her kid as well. I said that I never agreed to that, and I was not okay with that, but she said, where's sister's family helps family and ended up leaving. So, I didn't. I left the kid right in my entryway where Amber left him and just went about my day. I didn't leave the house or anything, but I said that I'm not a babysitter, so I wasn't one. Well, Amber got mad at me when she came back four hours later and the kid had a full diaper and was crying when he saw her. I told her that I said I wasn't watching her kid, and she's lucky that I didn't call
Starting point is 00:09:13 the police. But Amber said that not wanting to babysit doesn't mean that you just don't do it. The entire family sides with her, and Amber says that she's cutting me off until I apologize and make more of an effort with my nephew. I've gotten nasty messages from relatives galore and the only one who doesn't thank me a raging b-word is my dad who doesn't get involved in the family drama. I do love my sister and I understand that family is family, but am I really the butthole for not doing a job that I expressly said that I don't want?
Starting point is 00:09:45 Alright OP. Obviously, obviously, Amber's a butthole for just dropping the kid on you when you said that you didn't want to do it. She was being very entitled and she shouldn't have done that. However, once the child was physically in your care and she left, you can't just completely ignore a baby for four hours. That's very dangerous and very irresponsible. And like, yes, I understand that it's not your responsibility. But the simple matter is that like a crying, probably less than one-year-old baby based on this story
Starting point is 00:10:14 doesn't care about whose fault it is or who's in the right, who's in the wrong. A baby has needs, and if a baby doesn't get those needs, her health is in danger. So once your sister left, you had two choices. One, suck it up and babysit your nephew. Or two, immediately call the cops and say that someone abandoned a child on your doorstep. Leaving a child unattended and uncared for was not an option on that list.
Starting point is 00:10:37 So this story is definitely an everyone sucks here situation. I'm giving everyone in this story except for the baby 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. I do appreciate the petty nisop but don't be petty at the expense of a baby. Am I the butthole for going to a different hotel during my vacation with my husband? This is our first real vacation since 2020 and my first vacation with just my husband in over 10 years. Our 17-year-old daughter, Annie, was left home alone. For some reason, recently, Annie can do nothing right in my husband's eyes. The way she dresses, her music, her chores, he calls her irresponsible, but it's the farthest thing from the truth.
Starting point is 00:11:17 Annie has a summer job and she makes good grades. In fact, she's kind of a hermit for her age. Unbeknownst to me, my husband set the hot water heater to refill only one time a day while we were gone. And he did some dishes in laundry. When she went to go take a shower, the water was cold. She was upset and thought that it was broke and called us panicking. My husband yelled at her for wasting our hot water and telling her how irresponsible she was, which made her cry. I got matter than I've ever been in this marriage and basically said that most parents would love to have a 17 year old like Annie. We argued and screamed all night, so the next day I left
Starting point is 00:11:55 the resort to a little hotel down the street. My husband's been trying to call me, and I told Annie to block her father and don't pay any attention to him. My husband is mad about the wasted money on this vacation. But I can't stand to even look at him over an argument over something so stupid and preventable. Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. Your husband turned off the hot water heater. Didn't tell anyone, didn't tell Annie, didn't tell you. Then when Annie used all the hot water, from doing chores, no less, from being responsible, from doing laundry and dishes, she runs out of hot water, panics, and is
Starting point is 00:12:29 like, hey, what's up with the hot water? This is some's wrong here. She yells at her, why? What did she do? She did the dishes? She did the laundry, and then she wanted to clean herself? Whoa, huh, huh, what? Yo, OP is your husband okay? Is he mentally unwell? Does he have a brain tumor or something? Why is he getting so upset over your daughter for nothing? Not even for nothing, for being a good person. You spoiled entitled Brad, doing the dishes and the laundry while you're home alone,
Starting point is 00:13:01 instead of most 17 year old to would invite over their boyfriend or throw a party. What? Am I missing something here? Why would you? Why would you not want your daughter to have a hot shower? I'm so confused, guys. Is he just an abusive douchebag?
Starting point is 00:13:15 But like, OP seems to be intelligent. She's sticking up for her daughter. So this doesn't seem like systemic abuse that's been happening for years and years and OP is just used to it or she's a bad person and she doesn't care. She seems to actually care so why is he getting abuse about a nowhere? Something, I don't know, something is going on here. Does this person have a post history? This is very suspicious. What do you guys think? I feel like I'm missing something important here. Is he on drugs? Does he have a brain tumor that's affecting his behavior? What's wrong here?
Starting point is 00:13:46 Oh, okay. Alright, down in the comments, we've got some information you guys. Because hold on to your butts, it's about to get political. When someone asks how long this behavior has been going on, OP says the past few years since 2020. He's been spending a lot of time on social media. He'll complain about Generation Z all the time. My daughter and I normally brush them off, but the last few months, it's been crazy.
Starting point is 00:14:11 He was also pissed because one of my daughter's favorite shows is umbrella academy, and he keeps going on and on about Elliott Page. Who cares if Elliott Page is out there living his best life? He's acting like he's taking it personally or something. I don't even know anymore. Opie, I regret to inform you that your husband is transforming into a boomer. Kids these days with their avocado toast and their valuing basic human rights, what, you're responsible and total dratzer!
Starting point is 00:14:41 Opie, I think you need to try to get your husband off of social media because Facebook is corrupting his brain. Hopefully it's not too late for you. I'm giving you and your daughter zero out of five buttholes. You seem like a good mother and Annie seems like a good daughter. Your husband, however, seems like he's a few Facebook posts away from going off the deep end. I'm giving your husband 2.5 out of five buttholes. How jeez. Man, okay, in another post, another reply, O.P. says that her husband has been one of those, kids have it so easy these days.
Starting point is 00:15:11 Okay, so first of all, they don't. Kids literally just don't have it easier, but even if they do, wouldn't you want that to be the case? I have a daughter. I don't want her to suffer. I don't want her to grow up miserable and having to work harder than I did. I want her to have a good life. I want her to be happy and have money and be able to afford an apartment and have her basic rights be protected. Why would you want kids to have it hard this day? Why? Why? That was our slash in my The Butthole and if you like this content be sure to
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