rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Giving Away My Friend's Dog?

Episode Date: November 22, 2022

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Welcome to R-Slash, am I the butthole where OP sends her friend's dog to a dog shelter? Am I the butthole for leaving my friend's dog at a dog shelter after she abandoned him at my home? I'm a 35-year-old woman and I have a friend, a 32-year-old woman, who asked me to dogs hit her poodle for two weeks while she's on vacation with her husband. I've had some rough patches with this friend before, but she paid me the last time I had to take care of her dog, and my house is pretty big, so I agreed. I really like dogs, I always have. I also have a golden boy named Dorado, but I really hate this dog.

He pees everywhere, he's destructive, he picks fights with Dorado, he feels entitled to my food even when he has a full dog bowl and he even pooped on my bed. Out of all the places that he could have pooped, he decided to poop on my bed. After two weeks I called my friend expecting her to be back in town and come get her little monster back. But she never answered. No text, no social media, nothing.

After trying to reach her on Instagram, she blocked me. I waited and waited for her to appear on my front door, but that never happened. I called her husband, who also ghosted me. After 10 days of being ghosted, I had enough. I went to a shelter and dropped the dog off there. They won't accept pet dogs to the shelter, so I said that it was a stray dog. I finally had peace at home. Then, one week later, my friend called me, saying that she was coming back for her dog. I blew up at her, asking her where the hell she was, that I got tired of waiting,

so I dropped the dog at a shelter. She started fighting with me over the phone, saying that it was unfair that I was putting her dog in danger, and that I should have just waited a little bit longer. I sent her the shelter address, and some days later she said that she was going to sue me because she had to buy her dog back. She's making my life so much more dramatic right now. Maybe I should have waited a few more days, was I wrong for what I did? Hold up. Wait a few more days. Even if you had waited a few more days, hold I wrong for what I did? Hold up, wait a few more days.

Even if you had waited a few more days, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, wait, wait. So two weeks pass and then you called, then 10 days of being ghosted. So that's 24 days have passed, then you drop them off the shelter, then another week passes. So that's 31 days, literally an entire month

that she ghosted you. I hope if I were you, I would have been like, what do you mean wait a few 31 days? Literally an entire month that she ghosted you. Opie, if I were you, I would have been like, what do you mean wait a few more days? I thought you guys were dead. 31 days without a text, without a phone call, without an email? Yeah, I assumed you guys had like, drowned on your vacation or something. So of course I gave your dog away.

Anyways, Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. If anything, you should have a lot of patients here. And like, yeah, strictly speaking, your actions did put the dog's life in danger, but you're not responsible for these actions. They are because they ghosted you. So realistically, they're the ones who endangered their dog. I'm giving your friend two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for moving out while my parents are on vacation?

I'm a 20-year-old woman and I have three siblings who live at home, a 22-year-old brother, a 15-year-old brother, and a 12-year-old brother. My older brother doesn't work and doesn't go to school. My middle and youngest brothers are in middle and high school. I've been taking care of them for about six years now because my parents both work. I'm the only one who cleans, makes food, and takes care of the dogs. I have access to a car that I share with my older brother, but he takes it to go see his friends and hook up with Tinder Randos.

So I've had to bring home groceries on the bus because, oh yeah, I also do the grocery shopping. I've tried talking to my parents about it, but they say that my brother is finding himself and the younger ones have to concentrate on school. I'm in my third year of college and it's wrecking me. My boyfriend, who's 24, has talked to his parents and they're letting me move into the apartment

over their garage and he'll be paying for the rent. He lives at home rent-free, but he also graduated and has a great job, so we talked about it, and it's fair. We're committed to each other, but we're way too young to think about moving in together or getting married. I'm not saying that this is too young for anyone else. We just know what we want in life, and until I get my nursing degree and get a job, we aren't ready.

My parents went away this weekend for NASCAR and Vegas. It's their third vacation this year. I do not begrudge them their holidays. They both work hard, but I'm tired of being an unpaid nanny and dog sitter. So I grab my laptop, clothes, and a few other things that I've been gifted. I waited for my older brother to get home, and I left. I told him I was going out for milk, but my boyfriend was waiting in the car around the corner. My brother started texting me about 20 minutes later, saying that he needed the car.

But I didn't take the car. I left the keys on the counter, including my house keys. My grandparents paid for my education, so there's literally nothing my parents can hold over me. I let my brother know that I wasn't coming back, and I let my parents know after the last race that I left him in charge of the younger kids, and I bailed. My parents drove straight home instead of spending the night partying like they'd planned. Everyone's mad at me for being so immature and thoughtless, but I just

don't care anymore. I talk to my grandfather and he says that I'm right and my brothers can look after themselves. My mom keeps calling and complaining that the house is a mess. I was only gone for nine hours before they got home, but my brothers are pigs. My older brother says that I'm the butthole because my parents are making him do everything that I used to do. But I can't find it in myself to care. Am I the butthole? Man, OP, your family is super toxic. Your parents apparently have enough money to go on lavish vacations three times a year. But apparently they don't have money to pitch in with buying you a car, getting a babysitter, getting a dog sitter, getting a maid, etc. etc.

No, all that responsibility falls on your shoulders. Why? Apparently because you're a girl. Oh, P, because you're the girl in the family, it's your responsibility to clean and cook and your older brother. Well, he's just finding himself because he has a penis and that's how that goes. Never mind the fact that your brother is older than you, so theoretically, that should mean that he's more responsible.

And like, even then, even though it should be more your brother's responsibility than your responsibility, the fundamental point is, it's neither of your responsibilities. It's not your responsibility to take care of your siblings, and it's not your older brother's responsibility to take care of your responsibilities. It's not your responsibility to take care of your siblings and it's not your older brother's responsibility to take care of your siblings. I guess you can kind of make an argument

because ostensibly you guys are living in your parents' house rent-free, so there's some expectation that you'll pitch in, but still, at the end of the day, they're not your kids. They're your parents' kids. And maybe they should spend less time partying and vacationing, and more time actually caring for their kids.

Opie, you get an easy zero out of five but holes here. Your family sucks. I'm giving your parents three out of five but holes, and I'm giving your brother 1.5 out of five but holes. And like, man, the audacity of your parents to call you up and complain that the house is dirty. Well, then clean it! It's your house!

The mess is made by your kids! Then clean it! Grab them up and clean your own house! Am I the butthole for asking? Not insisting that my boyfriend switched meals with me when I don't like what I ordered at a restaurant. I've been friends with my boyfriend for years and now we've been together for three months. He's the sweetest guy, and I know that he's been seriously hurt in the past.

So I'm so happy that we're finally clicking after being flirt buddy since medical school. We're both 25 now. Whenever we go out to eat, he always orders the most basic thing. 99% of the time, it's a plain cheeseburger with ketchup on the side and honey mustard to dip his fries in. He actually loves exotic food, but he says that menus and making choices stresses him out, so he doesn't want to put the thought into it. I love trying exotic things, and to me, that's the reason to go out to eat.

To me, it's so exciting. My issue is, things always look and sound better than they actually turn out, and I decide that, actually, I just wanted a burger. So usually, I'll ask my boyfriend if he'll switch with me, and he always does, and he never complains. Most of the time, he even says how good his food was. To me, it's a win for both of us. It gets him out of his comfort zone and we don't waste food. Last night, we both had to work really late,

so we both met up at a sports bar. They were having a calamari special, which sounded really good, and my boyfriend ordered a cheeseburger as usual. I just wasn't feeling the calamari when it came out, so I asked my boyfriend if he would switch with me. He said no. I asked him why not, and I said I didn't want the food to go to waste. He said, then you shouldn't have f-ing ordered it. I was like, excuse me? He then went into this Thai raid and said that I treat him like a garbage disposal, that he's a grown man, that I'm being immature, that I don't need to pin my mistakes on him, etc.

I said that sounded like that was a rehearse speech. He said that maybe it was because I insist on stealing his food every time we go someplace. I started crying, and he said, don't start that BS with me. Here have both meals. Then he got up and walked out. He hasn't called or texted me and it's 6am and honestly I thought that he would call to apologize by now. I called my sister and she said, you're a butthole for waking me up at 5.30am and he's going to see you asking as insisting. That's really sucky of you to put that pressure on him.

And she basically hung up. So since my sister said it, am I the butthole? Okay, I've gotta just point out the really, really obvious thing here. If you order something and you don't like it, the fair and equitable thing to do is to split your meals, right? Like cut the burger in half,

that way you each get a hamburger, and then you each get calamari. Like, why do you have to give the entire bad meal to your boyfriend and force him to eat it while you get all of his meal? He doesn't even get what? A bite of the food that he ordered? That's mean.

It's literally just mean, it's selfish. Or even better than that, why not be a big girl and own up to your mistakes? You said, what did you say? You said, I love trying exotic things. And to me, that's the reason to go out to eat. To me, it's just so exciting.

No, it's not, lady. If you routinely order exciting things and then swap it out for a plain cheeseburger with ketchup. Then you don't love exotic things. You love plain cheeseburgers with ketchup. Like what's so funny about this is that a plain cheeseburger with ketchup is one of the most mundane, normal, white bread, uninteresting, unexciting foods. You could possibly imagine and you eat it almost every time because you can't

handle the exotic excitement of Calamari. So you're lying to yourself, OP, and you're forcing your boyfriend to cover your mistakes. Alright, so on this note, you guys, let me talk to you about my hamburger journey. I love hamburgers, I mean, who doesn't, really? But I have come to the conclusion in my life that I have to stop ordering hamburgers from restaurants. I will only order hamburgers from fast food joints. It sounds really stupid, but literally fast food restaurants like McDonald's Burger King,

they're the only people on earth who knew how to make a hamburger anymore. Here's the problem, here's what I think is happening. Is America's got this whole like, bigger is better, down here in Texas, we got 14 pounds of Angus beef grilling to a giant patty. Like it's just it's just this whole mentality of bigger is always better. So you get these like you know mom and pop restaurants and they think oh well they think

McDonald's makes a good hamburger. I'll show them I'll make the biggest baddest hamburger people have ever seen. And then you know you order the sandwich and it outcomes this massive hunk of meat. It's like a half pound of beef and you need four hands to pick it up and like three mouths to eat it. And I've seen sandwiches literally, hamburgers. They're so thick and tall that you can't open your mouth big enough. You have to unhint your jaw like a snake just to bite it. And you have to smush the sandwich down like compress it so it's flat enough that you can actually

eat it. And that's just it's literally not enjoyable. And the problem with hamburgers is that more isn't always better because more meat requires more bread and more sauce and more vegetables to keep the ratios intact. The point of a sandwich is to create the correct ratio of bread to toppings to the meat, right? And chain restaurants give you smaller patties, probably to save money, which is a, you know, kind of a sucky reason. But the result of that is that they're the only places

where you can get a properly ratioed sandwich. You know what sandwich place has the best ratio is Shake Shack. I'm not saying that their hamburgers are the best hamburgers in the world. What I'm saying is, their ratio of bread to toppings to meet the sauce is perfect. I don't know, is this stupid? Is this a dumb thing to care about? Am I off the wall here? Or am I right?

Do local restaurants just not know how to make a hamburger? Or am I the anomaly? When you go out to a restaurant and you order a hamburger and it comes out and it's like two feet tall. Are you like, hell yeah, this is the kind of hamburger I wanted because I'm not. I don't want a hamburger that's taller vertically than it is wide. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, people who make giant, two tall, excessively meaty hand burgers, you get 5 out of 5 buttholes.

Learn how to properly ratio your sandwiches, man. Am I the butthole for canceling a wedding gift when the wedding was canceled? My husband's sister was supposed to be married in September. I chose an item from the registry, but the exact item that she had added had a weird detail. She had explicitly mentioned previously needing option A, but on the registry, she accidentally listed option B. So I asked her because I wanted to make sure that she got what she needed. So she knew exactly what I was planning to gift. Sadly, she and her fiance have now broken up. The gift hadn't shipped anyway, so I canceled it. This past week, she reached out to me about it. Since she knew that I was

purchasing it, and we live far away, she was concerned that it had been delivered, but someone had stolen it. When I explained that I'd canceled it, she was pretty upset. My mother-in-law has now reached out to us about it, and feels that I was unkind to cancel the order. She feels that since my sister-in-law is clearly going through a difficult time and the holidays are approaching, it would have been more appropriate to let the gift reach her anyways. Obviously, these are unfortunate circumstances, but this was a substantial gift, $700, and

pretty well above the threshold of what I I normally spend on a typical holiday gift. Yeah, so I think it's pretty common protocol that if a wedding gets canceled, the former bride and groom are supposed to return all the wedding gifts. Right? Isn't that kind of like an understood rule? Am I making that up? So I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes OP. And while I kind of understand where she's coming from, yeah, you didn't have

a wedding so you don't get a wedding gift. I'm giving the sister in law 0.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you liked this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.