rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Helping People Steal from My Wife?

Episode Date: September 18, 2022

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Welcome to R-slash, am I the butthole where OP finds out that his sister is stealing from his wife? Am I the butthole for changing the door locks after my wife changed them? I'm a 30-year-old man, and I have a beautiful wife who loves to serve others. We bought a home down the street from my family. I have a sweet 17-year-old sister who likes to crash at our house with her friends. Normally, my wife is pretty easy-going, until recently. My sister's friends have been leaving messes, mostly towels on the floor after using our pool. My wife got upset picking up after them every day. I've asked my sister to make sure the house is clean after they leave, and it's been better. My wife

also complained that some of her perfume, clothes, and personal items have gone missing. My sister said that it's not her, and I believe my sister. I just don't see her doing that. I told my wife and we agreed to just replace them. Last week, my wife made a couple of pans of cinnamon rolls from scratch. One pan was for us, and the second pan was for a co-workers family who was experiencing a tragedy. My wife went to the gym. I went to work, and my sister and her friends came by. Eating

one pan wasn't enough for her and her friends. They also wanted the second pan of cinnamon rolls, and my sister texted my wife asking if they could eat them, and my wife said no. They ate them anyways. My wife was upset about this and bought new locks. When I came home, my wife handed me a new key and told me that she didn't want anyone else to have a key to our house. I tried to calm her down and tell her that I would just go replace the eaten cinnamon rolls with store-bought ones. My wife decided that this was her hill to die on and said, no, my sister lost a pillage

to come when we're not home. She said that replacing stolen items wasn't good enough anymore. My mom called and asked if my sister could use the pool as a back to school party. I was under the impression that my mom would be there. I said yes, but my mom was at work and our schedule's clashed. The easiest solution was for me to change the locks back so they could come back into the house. My mom didn't come with my sister. When my wife got home after the party, the house was a mess. My wife sent me photos, and she called me a bottle for changing the locks without talking

to her about it. Keep in mind, she did the same thing. Then she told me that I broke her trust. She said that she wasn't safe in her own home because she keeps getting robbed, and I refused to put an end to it. But I did talk to my sister. She said that she wasn't safe in her own home because she keeps getting robbed and I refused to put an end to it. But I did talk to my sister. Then my wife let me know that she was staying with a friend for a while.

Am I the butthole here? I feel like I've tried to write any wrongs that have happened between my wife and my sister. You've tried to write any wrongs OP. Have you really, have you actually, really tried? I guess talking to your sister is trying, but she does it again, so I guess you do nothing, I guess? And is subverting your wipe and going behind her back to change locks. Also trying to solve this issue because it seems like it's enabling the issue actually. What was the line? Man, where is it? She said

that she wasn't safe in her own home. Correct. Because she keeps getting robbed. Also correct. And that I refused to put it into it. Also correct. Like your wife is a hundred percent correct here. She literally can't feel comfortable or safe in her own home because people keep breaking in, stealing her stop, and leaving like messes for you to clean up.

If anything, why is she the one cleaning it up? It's your sister shouldn't you be the one to clean it up? Oh man, the update. Okay, Opie posted an update. I talked to my mom again and I let her know that my sister isn't allowed over without me home. I asked a friend's wife, who's a maid, to come to clean our home. That way, if my wife comes home, it's clean.

Also, my mom asked me to help cover for my sister's cheer. She's on track for a scholarship. I told my mom that I would pay half if my wife's things are returned. If not, that money was going towards replacing the stolen items. Also, my sister was invited to homecoming, and she wanted me to buy a dress. I told her no for not following our home rules and the money that I saved for the dress is going to pay for the maid. I did replace the locks again. I'm also planning a romantic dinner that I'll cook and clean up.

I heard a lot of people talk about the cinnamon rolls and someone here gave me the idea to make them, so I'll make those two for dessert. And then OP posted another update. My sister and my mom left a few minutes ago. My sister had a bag of my wife's stolen things. More than I thought was gone. Most items are in poor shape. The big thing is that my sister had my wife's grandmother's ring that I thought was in

the safe. I had no idea that it was gone. My sister said that she found it on my wife's nightstand during the safe. I had no idea that it was gone. My sister said that she found it on my wife's nightstand during the party. She said that she forgot that she had it on when she left our home. The ring isn't valuable, just sentimental. I told my mom who the ring belonged to, and my mom lost it. My sister is now grounded. And finally, my wife is coming back home, but I'm staying at a friend's house together some space. As I said, I changed the locks back to the new locks, and my family doesn't have a key to those locks.

Then another update. My mom called my wife last night and asked what my sister can do to fix or replace the damaged items. My wife said, have her meet me every morning at 5 a.m. I decided to tag along and see what my wife had planned. I was just trying to support her in whatever punishment she decides to do. And you guys remember the cinnamon rolls? Well, my wife's co-workers 4-year-old is in the final stages of cancer. Yo, those girls stole cinnamon buns from a 4-year-old with cancer? Oh geez, okay. My wife's plan is for her and my sister to go serve that family.

Prepare breakfast, get their other kids up and ready for the day, start laundry, basic cleanup, et cetera. That way, oh geez. Oh geez. That way her coworker and his wife can spend as much time as he can with the sick child before work.

Oh geez, okay. My sister was silent the whole time coming back home. I can tell that it really hit her that her life isn't that hard, even while grounded. And then finally OP clarifies that he's repairing things with his wife, but she's given him a list of rules like no family over when no one's home, he has to cook more and do chores around the house, etc. Okay, well I was all fired up to give OPMager Butthole score, and he does deserve one.

But after reading the updates, things have changed considerably. Looks like Reddit talks some sense into him. He had a profound coming to Jesus moment, as they say. And I feel like he's doing better, but I think we have to give OPM 2.5 out of 5 Buttholes for undermining his wife and for allowing his sister to basically just, you know, cause all this trouble and stress and steal from his wife.

However, maybe we can kind of knock that down to like one out of 5 buttholes because he's definitely trying to make amends, but he still has work to do. Also, am I remembering this right? Did he say, did he call our sweet sister? Did I read that? I have a sweet sister who's 17 who likes to crash at our house with friends. Opie, your sister is not sweet. She is straight up mean. She's stealing from you, stealing from your wife, and stealing cinnamon rolls from a four-year-old cancer victim.

I mean granted, she probably didn't know who they were for, but still, she still stole them nonetheless. Your sister gets three out of five buttolls. I get that she's technically still a kid at 17, but 17 is way too old to act this selfish. Your sister desperately needed this wake up call. Your sister gets three out of five buttholes. I don't remember if I gave the wife a buttholes square either. Your wife, obviously, gets zero out of five buttholes. If anything, your wife is an incredibly compassionate and understanding person, and you and your sister need to stop exploiting her. Am I the butthole for not taking down my video that was a gift for my best man? I have a sister who's six years older than me.

For years now, my parents have canceled on me last minute because of my sister. For example, I have a basketball game. Oops, sorry, sister doesn't feel like going out. I'm graduating. Oops, sorry, sister had a bad day at work. My parents have missed both major and minor events in my life because of my sister's meltdowns. I met the love of my life. We decided to tie the knot.

From the beginning, I told my parents how I'm worried that my sister will ruin another special moment in my life. We decided to tie the knot. From the beginning, I told my parents how I'm worried that my sister will ruin another special moment in my life. My mom told me over and over again that it wouldn't happen. The day of my wedding, I received a voicemail from my mom saying that they couldn't come because my sister's dog was sick and she was upset. I was hurt. My best man, however, is a jokester. He took my phone, went to my fiance, and asked if he could post a video of our wedding as a gift on social media, and she loved that idea. I had no idea that he did this until I came home. Our honeymoon was at a lakeside cabin with no cell service. My best friend posted the video with the caption, my best friend got married. He's an amazing person, even if his parents never showed up for him.

The video that he posted was a slideshow of pictures of us next to the bride's parents, me on the dance floor, cutting the cake, etc. These were all the types of pictures where you would normally see both parents in the wedding pictures. The sound behind the video was my mom's voicemail explaining how they couldn't come because my sister's dog was sick. I came home a week later to hundreds of messages. Family members from both sides insisted that I take it down. I was told that my sister hadn't stopped crying.

My mom is refusing to leave the house. I may be the butthole here, but I didn't take the video down when I got my messages. I didn't call my video down when I got my messages. I didn't call my family back right away either. I waited until my vacation time was over at work and enjoyed time with my wife in our new home before I contacted anyone. My dad told me to take down the video saying, it was just a bad night for us. They said that they would make it up to me and my wife for not coming.

My reply was, exactly how do you plan to make up my wedding? This is a once in a lifetime thing. You chose to ignore my feelings on this whole matter. Then my dad just repeated that he would make it up to me. I told him that I would take down the video after he made up missing my wedding. Flustered, we both hung up the phone before we both said things that we shouldn't have. Am I the butthole here? I could have just taken down the video.

Yeah, and they could have just come to the wedding. So when you started this video, I was like, okay, so they missed things for the sister. Maybe it's like, it's logical, maybe it makes sense, missing a basketball game because she's not feeling well. Okay, I can sort of understand that. Missing graduation because she had a bad day at work. That's a little extreme at that point. A bit coincidental too.

And then I realized, it's not that your sister is unlucky, it's that your sister is intentionally stealing attention from you. Like, come on, what are the odds that your sister's dog just happened to get sick on your wedding day? Pretty low. And like, even if the dog is sick, so you just hand the dog over to the vet or like a friend

and then you go to the wedding anyway. I have a dog who I love to pees but if my dog got sick on my brother's wedding day, then I would just, I don't know, find accommodation for my dog, have a friend watch the dog, send it to the vet or something, and then go to my brother's wedding. Not man, your sister is intentionally manufacturing emergencies that your parents will cater to because she wants to be the center of attention. So literally OP, your entire family is trying to sabotage your happiness.

And your response to that is letting your friend post a single video calling them out on that. No, you are not the butthole. I will say though that your friend probably should have told you that he was doing this because he created a lot of drama for you on your wedding. And it seems like you don't mind, so I guess it's kind of no harm no foul, but that was definitely a daring move of his. If you did mind, then I would have definitely given your friend a butthole score.

Anyways, OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your parents and your sister 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for tricking my parents into being on time for my wedding? I'm a 33 year old guy and my parents are late for everything. Like everything. Both of my sisters and myself have been disappointed so many times. Graduation ceremonies, birthday parties, even my father's retirement dinner. It is completely my mother's fault. She's a wonderful mother and I love her dearly. She just doesn't understand the concept of punctuality. I've seen her talking to her sister on the phone and reminded her that she needed to

be at my baby sister's dance recital. She waved me off and arrived after my sister had danced. We're all used to it. My dad is just done trying to get her to be on time for anything. My fiance told me in no uncertain terms that if my mother was late to our wedding, she would do terrible things to me. She was only joking, half joking. But she witnessed my mom and dad arriving halfway through my cousin's quince in Yara.

So here's what I did, and this is completely on me. My wife wasn't involved at all. If there was a dick move, it was completely mine. When we were printing out invitations for the wedding, I talked to the printer, and I had one special invitation printed that had the time stated one hour earlier than the ceremony actually started. Apparently, my mother was beside herself when they left the house. They thought they were going to miss the wedding since she was part of it because her and my mother-in-law were going to light canals that we would use to light the unity candle and stuff.

When she arrived and noticed other people were also just arriving and parking, she was so relieved that we were starting late and just went with it. The ceremony went beautifully and so did the wedding pictures and reception. The problem came last Sunday. My parents came over for a big family dinner and we just didn't bother starting the grill until they showed up. My mom asked why everyone wasn't eating and we just said that we knew that we would be waiting for them since they were always late. She said that she wasn't always late and she had been on time for my wedding, but she hadn't been. They arrived 45 minutes after the time on the invitation. My idiot cousin John snorted at her

statement. A few other people giggled or smiled at this and my mom picked up on it and asked why it was so funny. I came clean and told her about the special invitation. She's pissed at me for not trusting her and making her look foolish in front of everyone. If my cousin had just controlled himself, she would have never known. Am I the butthole? And then Opie post an edit. Part of the reason that she's mad is because she had her wedding invitation framed. To be honest, I was already planning a hike with my sisters to replace it with the real

one in case she ever noticed a discrepancy between hers and the one that we have framed in our house. Oh, that's so funny. Nah, OP, you are definitely not the butthole here. Your mother is just rude, plain and simple. She's consistently rude and inconsiderate. And, the only thing that you did OP was plan for your mother being late. Besides, if you hadn't done that, then she would have completely missed the ceremony.

OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your mother gets 2.5 out of 5 buttholes for being an uncaring inconsiderate mother. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.