rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole For Letting my Karen Mother Die Alone?

Episode Date: July 3, 2022

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Welcome to our slash, Am I the butthole, where OP leaves his mother to die alone? Am I the butthole for returning the shoes that I got from my husband after he accused me of stealing from him? I'm 29 and my husband, who's 36, is the breadwinner of the family. I stay home with the kids who are preschool age. He pays for the mortgage, bills, household needs, food, kids, etc. He has a monthly budget for each category and he pays for everything himself. Recently he's become overwhelmed and he told me to handle grocery shopping. But before he let me, he asked me to write a list of all the stuff that we need so we could calculate the total and also so he'd have an idea of how much I'd be spending

when I take his credit card. I didn't have an issue with that because this way we would watch our spending habits. However, he said that I never allowed to get something that isn't on the list unless I'm paying for it some other way. On Friday, I was doing some grocery shopping as usual and I saw the store had some nice shoes on sale. The price was insanely low for the brands, so I decided to grab a pair for my husband, thinking he'd be happy with them since he needed new sneakers anyway. I bought them, and when I showed them to him, he flipped out on me, saying that I made a huge mistake by buying something that wasn't on the list.

I agreed with him, but I thought that since the shoes were for him, then it'd be different. But he said that I screwed up and shouldn't have bought those sneakers without even telling him. But in my defense, I said the price was low, so it's not like I spent $100 on shoes. And also, I saw this as a great deal and I wanted him to have these nice sneakers. He plainly said that what I did is considered stealing since he never considered to buying those sneakers. He said that I'm being irresponsible with money money and this is why I no longer have an

income and my spinning habits need to be controlled. I felt hurt by what he said. We argued about it for hours and he avoided speaking to me for the rest of the day. The next day I went in and returned to sneakers and took the money back. He got home in the evening and he lost it when he found out that I returned him. He said that he couldn't believe how petty and childish I was to actually do this. I explained that I was just correcting my mistake. He tried to contact the store and was told the sneakers were already sold. He got even angrier with me, but I told him that he accused me of stealing for him when I was just

trying to do a nice gesture for him. He yelled that I had a lot of nerve calling what I did a nice gesture while using his money to do it. I told him that he had no right to yell at me after I corrected my mistake and gave back the money that he accused me of stealing. He threw a fit, then went out with his friends and came home late at night, still not talking to me. Did I mess up?

Okay, so first of all, if you two are married, even if he's the breadwinner, that means that the money is half yours. Like that's just legally how it works. So this whole he didn't consent to buying the sneakers is BS. That's literally legally half your money. Second, let's give this guy the benefit of the doubt and assume that you guys are under a very tight, very controlled budget And if you go over budget, then you can't pay bills. Okay, fine

Then in that case if buying the shoes was a mistake then the logical thing to do would be to say hey, sweetie Listen, I understand you're trying to do a nice thing, but we really can't afford though So you have to return them and OP would say sure no problem I mean, I was trying to do a nice thing and they're not that expensive, but if we really don't have a budget for it, then I guess we don't have a budget for it. Right? Like, that's the normal, healthy adult way to handle this. Not to scold you for stealing, and then when you return it to say that you, what we're

being petty and childish, this guy's being a major douchebag. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. What you did was both nice and reasonable. I'm giving your husband 1 get 0 out of 5 buttholes. What you did was both nice and reasonable. I'm giving your husband 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for sending my dying mother to hospice because of what she said? I'm a 30 year old guy, and I lost my wife 5 years ago. She had a 10 year old son who I got custody of after she passed. The biological father signed off on parental rights at birth and never even met the kid. Also, we have a six-year-old daughter together. My 10-year-old son, I consider him my son anyway, has down syndrome.

My dying mother asked to come live with me two weeks ago to spend some more time with us because she's dying and she only has months left to live. I told her she can spend one week here first and we'll see how it works for everyone most of all the kids. She came and things were going okay. Then a few days ago, she's special ordered a new set of toys for my 6 year old, a really expensive toy which I let fly. Even though I don't normally just let my kids choose hundreds of dollars worth of toys,

but I get that she was trying to do something nice for her grandkids. Then today the set arrived just before dinner, and at dinner I asked my son what toys he chose. He said that he didn't choose any toys. I asked my mom what he chose, and she said that she only bought toys for her grand baby. I said that she has two grandkids because I have two kids. Then she said, he's not your son. I told the kids to go play in the living room

and I told my mother that this kind of talking is unacceptable in my house. She then said, it's true. You have no application here. You should just put him in foster care or stick him in a facility because your life is ruined. I flipped out, calling her all sorts of names, and told her I'll be calling hospice first

thing in the morning and had them take her the same day, which I did. She cried all night, begging me to not make her go diolone in hospice, but I said that she crossed a line and I'm done. My aunts called me a butthole, and some of my friends said I should just let it go because her time is limited and my sister who lives abroad said that it was just plain cruel. My cousin said that what she said was awful and I did the right thing. I feel a little bit guilty over it anyway. Am I the butthole?

Opie, first and foremost, you have a responsibility to your children. Whether or not this is your biological child, you chose to raise that child. You're that child's guardian, which means effectively, legally, morally, ethically, you're that kid's father. Your mother disrespected you, your child, your dead wife, and your love for both your son and your dead wife in a single visit. Also, people are pointing down in the comments something that I completely missed, and I don't even remember if I read it correctly. Apparently, the mom said, stick it in a facility. I assumed

that was a typo because I was thinking to myself, oh, this is a person, she must have meant stick him in a facility, so I might have actually misread that, but no, the quote is stick it in a facility. To be honest, OP, I think your mom deserves to die alone. I'm giving her the full 5 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your cousin is completely right here. Am I the butthole for what I, an 18 year old guy told my dad after I got tired of his stupid pranks. My dad has been annoying the hell out of me with his stupid antics for years. He acts like an f-ing teenager.

I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm more mature than he is. My mom's yelled at him a few times too because he also pranks her. He really doesn't know how pranks work or when to stop. It used to be dumb annoying stuff like giant fake spiders or fake cockroaches in the fridge or hiding in the shower to scare one of us, but honestly he's taking it too far. Some examples of stuff that he's done for over a year, taking all of my clothes from my drawer and hiding them all over the house so I can't find my clothes in the morning. He's done this four times.

Putting whipped cream all the way inside my shoes so I don't notice until after I put them on. I'm lactose intolerant, so one time he switched out my almond milk that I used to make pancakes and it gave me diarrhea all day. My dad apologized for that one, but the whole family was mad at him for a few weeks, so he stopped with the pranks. So it's not like we don't ever talk to him about it. He says that we'll laugh about it in the future, but really, I don't see that happening.

And I told him there are other ways to make memories besides pissing people off. A million times I've told him to stop, because all it's doing is making me not want to be around him. All this week, I've had job interviews lined up, since I'll told him to stop because all it's doing is making me not want to be around him. All this week, I've had job interviews lined up since I'll be able to start working full-time after I graduate in a couple of weeks. I even bought a whole suit and tie to look more professional. Before I was leaving, he asked me to help him take groceries out of the car because he had to go to the bathroom. Instead, he dropped a water balloon on me from the window when I was coming back in. For the first time, I was ready to cuss him out. That's how mad it got me.

It made me more pissed because he was laughing and recording it on his phone, telling me not to get too mad and I can use one of his shirts for my interview. It wasn't even that though, this was the only nice suit that I owned that I bought with my own money for the interview that I was gonna be on soon. But I didn't cuss, I just told him this is why he's not gonna hear from me after I move out in a couple of weeks and to just think about that. He told me to stop being dramatic, but I kept going just so that he doesn't wonder why I don't like him anymore, This is why, so he better be ready to get blocked after I'm gone. His reaction made me feel good because he took it very seriously. He didn't even say anything after I left or when I came back. Ever since then, he's been really serious.

He doesn't talk to me when we have breakfast, doesn't smile, and I don't talk to him either. My mom says that I seriously hurt his feelings, and I shouldn't say stuff like that when that's just his way of trying to have fun with us. But I don't see how me telling him what's gonna happen is wrong. I'm just fed up. Am I the butthole for hurting his feelings in that way? Opie, it sounds like you were growing up in a really toxic environment. Like I can't even imagine what it'd be like to constantly be on guard every single second

of every single day because some stupid prank is gonna get pulled on you or you're not gonna find the stuff that you need. Like it just sounds obnoxious in your own home to be harassed that much. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your dad gets 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. I don't blame you at all if you cut him out of your life. Am I the butthole for not saying anything when someone called me spoiled and privileged? My husband's best friend, Nate, got a new girlfriend, Camilla about half a year ago.

She moved to our city recently, so she doesn't really have any friends here, but she and I hung out a couple of times and started to get friendly. For context, we're all in our 20s. My husband and I both have nice jobs. We own a small flat, play tennis as a hobby, which Camilla thinks is a rich people's sport, and we regularly travel by finding super cheap plane tickets and staying at cheap hostels for like three nights at a time.

So my husband and I were hosting a little get together. Nate, Camilla, and a few of our other friends were invited. At one point, the conversation went to topics like the current level of inflation, how the lockdown affected people and jobs, the housing market, etc. And I had something to say to agreeing with Camilla. Camilla cut me off and said something like, haha, no offense, but you're way too much of a spoiled privilege girl to understand things like this.

You would need a tragedy or two in your life to understand the struggle. I love you, but you've never experienced any hardship in your life. The room went dead silent, and nobody said anything. After some awkward silence, I stood up and said, well, is anybody hungry, shall we eat? And never went back to that topic. Camilla messaged me the next day, asking me how I could do this to her. Nate told her afterwards that I had an abusive father, and I fell ill as a teenager, spending months in the hospital. And I had to have multiple life-saving surgeries and it took me a month

to learn how to walk again. Camilla is mad at me for not telling these very personal things to her before and making her look terrible to Nate's friends. She said that even correcting her at the party would have been better because then she could have apologized to me in front of everyone, but I took that chance away from her and now she'll never be able to make friends here. Honestly, the whole thing is ridiculous, and I don't really think that I'm the butthole, but it never hurts to ask. Maybe I should have gently corrected her after she said that? Am I the butthole? I mean, OP, it says that you hung out a couple of times, like at what point do you have to sit someone down and be like, hello, my name is Setch and Setch and I was abused by my father as a kid.

Like, okay, this is, that's like a pretty heavy topic, so how soon does she expect you to like, broach that topic with her? Secondly, she was the one being the jerk by calling you out and implying that because you haven't struggled you don't understand inflation? Because as we all know, the way that you learn about inflation is by what, growing up on the streets or something, it doesn't even make sense. Whatever, she tried to push you down to make herself look taller and it backfired miserably. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving her 2 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for asking my aunt what part of the penis was required to operate a toy? So I'm a 26 year old woman, and I'm expecting my first daughter with my husband, who's 29 in September. I grew up in a moderately religious household with pretty strictly defined gender roles. As in, since I was a girl, I had chores around the house, while my younger brother didn't have to do anything. I don't talk to my parents for a variety of reasons, going on year 5 now so they don't know that I'm pregnant. My aunts and my grandparents were very supportive of me leaving my household, and as such have been my main family. Being six months pregnant now, people have started to give gifts, and I'm very grateful for

them. We've decided that we don't want our daughter to be surrounded by pink everything with only girly things. So we've made a conscious effort to include traditionally boy outfits and toys like dinosaurs and cars. We've told people that any gender items would be accepted and if it's getting too much pink then we've gone out of balance a bit. My younger aunt has taken great offense to this because boys are boys and girls are girls. She is a very verbal and loud person and has let us know several times her opinions.

She has two boys. At my baby shower, my older aunt gifted us a book called Good Night Construction Site with a little stuff truck. My younger aunt went on this tirade about how we're somehow making our daughter trans and not allowing her to be a girl. And she's a loud person, so of course her saying this was more like a yell and in front of my very liberal in-laws who are very supportive of our choice. Pregnancy hormones took over and I grabbed the toy, gave it to my younger aunt and asked

her what part of the penis was needed to operate the toy truck. She yelled at that's not what she meant and left. Since then, she's been blowing up Facebook where a bunch of people agree with her that I'm making my daughter trans and have been telling me that I was a butthole. The rest of my family think that what we're doing is fine, but that I shouldn't have handled it that way. So, was I the butthole? I remember when I was a child, my parents once gave me a toy instead of a doll. And now, as a result, I like boobies. It was a really close call because if they had given

me the doll first, then I'd probably like Dix instead. I mean, that's just how it goes, right? Opie, it's funny in 2022 to come across people who still think this way that a toy is going to influence like the genitals that people like when they're older. And it doesn't even make sense. You would think actually a boy playing with dolls would make them more inclined to like boobies, right? As opposed to whacking each other with sticks, which are basically giant phatic symbols, which is one of the gayest things you could possibly do, right? But I don't know, there's just no reasoning with people like this. O.P., you did nothing wrong here. Zero out of five buttholes.

Your onk gets 1.5 out of five buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. episodes every single day.