rSlash - r/AmITheA--hole for Letting My Roommate's Family Go Homeless?

Episode Date: November 3, 2022

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Welcome to R-slash, and my the Butthole, where O.P. sister and brother-in-law are trying to ruin her marriage. Am I the Butthole for calling my sister's husband a piece of trash because he's representing my ex in our divorce? I asked my ex for a divorce two months ago, and I found out a week later that my sister's husband was going to be his lawyer. I wasn't completely surprised because my ex has helped out his career a lot, but I was still hurt when my sister told me. I've avoided him since finding out, but my parents invited everyone over for dinner, and I missed them, so I went. I tried really hard to bite my tongue, but he kept referring to me as my ex's wife,

and he told me that if he was me, he would stay married because I was going to lose a lot if I divorced my ex. I ended up telling him that he was a real piece of garbage in front of everyone, including his daughters. My sister got angry at me for saying that in front of her daughters, but I was so mad I told her that I didn't care because he was a bastard, so now she's pissed at me. Am I the butthole?

Wait, hold on. So, your brother-in-law didn't call you by your name at the dinner party, he didn't call you, let's say Rachel, for example, he called you, hey, Ross's ex-wife, could you pass the peas? So, Ross's ex-wife, what do you do today? That's really what he said to you? That is so disrespectful. And your sister getting angry at you for calling out your husband is completely hypocritical. Hold on, let me think about this. If my wife were a lawyer and my brother were getting a divorce, and my wife wanted to represent my brother's ex-wife, yeah, I literally would not let my wife take that case.

I would fight her on it. Representing your siblings' enemy is so deeply disrespectful to your sibling. So I don't understand where your sister is coming from. You have every right to be angry at them. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I give your sister, and your brother-in-law 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Also, I'm kind of surprised, like, I don't know a whole lot about, like, the legal ins and outs of how things work, but isn't that, whole lot about, like, the legal ins and outs of how things work,

but isn't that, um, what's it called, conflict of interest? Where you're personally related to the people involved in the case, so, I don't know. Maybe because it's civil instead of criminal, then that doesn't apply, I don't really know. Am I the butthole for doing the same thing to my sister-in-law, that she does to my son? I'm a 32-year-old woman who has a brother, Dave, who's 35, who's married to Sarah, who's 29. They don't have children yet. I have a son who just turned four and a three-month-old daughter with my husband, who's

39. My husband and I live in Belgium most of the time, but we travel back to visit my family about once a month in England. At home, we speak both English and French to our children. My husband is Belgian. And right now, my son is in this very sweet phase where he'll sometimes mix up the two languages and say a couple of words in English and a French sentence or vice versa. This is never posed a problem to us, and even the staff at his nursery have reassured us that it's very common, and they tend to grow out of it once they start at school. My sister-in-law has decided that this is a problem, so when we're visiting my parents

and she notices my son doing this, she'll correct them. But she does it really rudely, whereas my husband and I will just gently correct them. Anyway, we're visiting at the moment, and she's now decided that instead of correcting him, she's just going to start ignoring him when he does this. I sort of noticed her doing it when we arrived, and I thought that it was odd, but I assumed that maybe she was just stressed. Her job is quite intense, but it only really became an issue yesterday. My husband was talking to my dad outside, and I was feeding my daughter in the other room,

and I'd left my son with my brother and sister-in-law. When I came back downstairs, my son was crying and I managed to understand that he had tried to ask Sarah for a drink. He has a special cup he uses that he was holding, so it was obvious what he meant. But Sarah had just ignored him. I asked Sarah why and she explained that she wasn't going to reply to him unless he said the sentence correctly, and that I shouldn't be ignoring your sense of his speech issues.

For context, it's not that she didn't know what he wanted. She told me that she understood exactly what he was asking for, but that she was deliberately refusing because he didn't ask correctly. This really pissed me off, but luckily my husband came inside of that moment and pulled me away so we could calm down and settle my son. That night at the dinner table Sarah asked me to pass her something, but she used bad English. To be clear, she IS English. I just mean that she asked for it in slang. Think, pass us the peas, will you? I had a bit of an epiphany, and I just decided to totally ignore her. She asked again, and I did the same thing. My brother asked me why I was ignoring his wife, and I said that I'm not able to reply if she can't speak English correctly, and that it's wrong of him to ignore her obvious issues with grammar. Everyone's pissed off with me, and I admit it was incredibly

childish, but she was needlessly being a dickhead to my baby. Should I just apologize? No, apologize, huh? She was bullying your son for no reason, like why, just to be mean? You're his mom, you have every right to get upset and want to defend your son. What I don't understand is why everyone else seems to be on Sarah's side, though I will say that OP clarified in an edit that her husband supports her. OP, I'm giving you your husband and your son 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Sarah 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for not inviting the next door neighbor girl to our backyard party? We live in a block filled with kids. Every now and then, I like to get a bounce house and throw a little backyard party for we live in a block filled with kids. Every now and then I like to get a

bounce house and throw a little backyard party for them. I threw another one last week. I want my sons to have good memories with his neighbor, kid friends because they all go to different schools. I told the parents about the party and that was in lieu of an invite. I did not invite the eight year old girl who lives next door. Why? My f***ing god. She screams over everything. It's not even a scream. It's ear piercing screeching. I can't stand it. I can tune out the loud sounds from my 7-9-year-old boys and their friends, but not that girl screaming. It's like she's a bug. She screams. She thinks someone is chasing her. She screams. She jumps off a swing. She screams. I'm pretty sure it's a bug, she screams. She thinks someone is chasing her, she screams. She jumps off a swing, she screams.

I'm pretty sure it's for attention, but I can't spend my Saturday listening to it in my own backyard. Like I'd end up yelling at her, and I don't want to do that or come across like an angry dad. Her parents did ask me if something was wrong because she wasn't invited. I bluntly told them that I just can't take the screaming. They said that she's no louder than any other kid. No, she's much louder. I told them that I didn't want to discuss it any further. If in when she can stop screaming,

then I'll be more than happy to invite her to my backyard parties. They were deeply offended. I'm not looking for suggestions to obey her screaming or possible explanations to her screaming. I just don't want to hear it or be around it. Well OP, I can definitely understand why your neighbors would be offended because their kid was excluded so yeah, I think any parent in that situation would probably be upset. However, it's your party, it's your backyard, it's your bouncy house so if you don't want to invite the kid then you don't have to invite the kid. I think I'm giving everyone in this story zero out of five buttholes.

I don't really feel comfortable giving the neighbor parents a butthole score because it's not really clear if they're like enabling this behavior or turning her into like an entitled screaming brat, or if this is just, you know, a personality trait of the kid that's kind of like built into her and, you know, what's wrong with the kid screaming in her own backyard? If the little girl wants to play in her backyard and screamed, and that's kind of her prerogative, right? Anyways, I see no buttholes here. Am I the butthole for sending an invoice to my wife's cousin after she didn't have space

for us at her wedding? I own a printing company that I run with my wife. Her cousin came to us and wanted us to do all the signage, banners, guest books, life-size cutouts, etc. for our wedding. We do this all the time for friends' weddings and events, and we never charge. We're happy to help out, and it's usually a lot of fun working together to make some cool stuff. A few weeks before the wedding, her wedding planner tells us they need all the items by

X-State so they can set up for the wedding. At this point, we hadn't received our wedding invitations, and we didn't even know when the actual wedding was. My wife texts her and tries to clarify when the wedding is, and if we miss the invitation somehow. My cousin replies and says, Oh, we downsize the wedding, and we decided to have like a close friend and family thing, and she said that they didn't have space for us in the small venue.

My wife and I are pretty hurt and insulted, and on top of that, we spent close to $2,000 on all the materials. Her cousin and the wedding planner kept making tiny revisions to the artwork, had us print samples to see how they'd look in person, and resize several of the items a few times, et cetera. All of those changes cost a ton of time and money, and we're a functioning business, so we either had to delay other orders or stay late and printer stuff on our own time. So I went ahead and build her for our costs

and said that we needed payment before delivery because I'm not gonna chase her for payment for months and years after the wedding. We're not making any profit off this, we just charge her for the cost of materials. So far, we've gotten threatening calls from the cousin, her fiance, some random members of my wife's family that I don't know, and some groomsmen, all essentially calling us buttholes. After this harassment, I'm considering charging the full price, or else we won't deliver the items.

Are we the buttholes here? Sorry, but I'm not going to waste my hard-earned time and money on someone who doesn't even consider us close friends and family. So like, the funny thing about this OP is that since you were involved in making stuff for the wedding, you have an exact head count from the beginning. And what's interesting is that OP never mentioned like, okay, so we started making invitations for 50 people and then we made invitations for like 36 people instead. So presumably, that means that the head count never changed, which means that she never intended

on inviting OP and she just used the excuse of downsizing to avoid responsibility. OP, I think you are 100% justified here. If she had actually invited you to the wedding, then you could have called it like a wedding gift. But if you're not going to the wedding, then why should you give her a wedding gift? And like $2,000 is not a small amount of money. Even for a wedding gift, that's extravagant. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes.

I'm giving the cousin 2 out of 5 buttholes for trying to guilt trip you out of $2,000. Am I the butthole because I didn't tell my roommates that I own the house and letting them evict themselves? I'm a 28 year old woman who owns a house. I wish I didn't because I inherited the house from my grandmother whom I would prefer to have back. It's an older house in a mature neighborhood in my city. It has a huge yard, a garden, and a detached garage large enough for a couple of cars in an RV. It also has an in-laws suite where I live. I started living there when I went to university,

and I love it! My exit leads to the back yard in my garden. After the estate was all settled, I was left with some money, and a fully paid-off house. I'm the baby of all the cousins, and I was an oops baby. I am 17 years younger than the next youngest. I decided that I would keep living in the area, and just take on short-term renters to help cover the expenses. I also plan to allow any of my nieces and nephews who went to school in my city to live with me. So far, only my one nephew has, and he was well behaved and moved out when he finished school. I found a couple that wanted the entire upper floor for one year while they got settled for moving across the country for work. No big deal. I have three nephews and nieces graduating next year, and

only one of them I go to school in my city So I let my property manager set up a one-year lease my city does not have a minimum rental increase This is important. So after six months the problem started the wife got pregnant and they like the house They haven't found a house that they want to buy yet. They want to keep living here, but they don't want to roommate. So one day, the husband catches me and says that he talked to the property manager about renting the entire house, and that I might want to start looking elsewhere for a place to live. I check with my property manager, and yep, he confirms that the husband wants the entire

house. So I talk to my lawyer because I don't want any problems. As long as I increase rent at least one year after they start living there and I give three months notice, there's literally no limit on the rent to increase I can make. So I tell my property manager to raise the rent for the ground level by 50%. I give them a notice of this rent increase for five months, so I'm in the clear. Now I can hear them fighting about having to find a new place. Which I don't get because I was super clear in the lease that this was only for one year. And I gave them a good

price because they have excellent credit in rental history. The real estate market in my city is not crazy. They should be able to find something to buy in time, or at the very least somewhere else to rent. I've talked to my parents about this, and they said that I'm being sort of mean, but I don't think that I am. I have a plan for my home, and it does not involve me moving out. I have a garden that me and my grandmother worked on for my entire life. I have a yard with raspberry bushes that my grandfather planted for his kids and grandkids. My dog likes having a yard to play in, and yeah, I could have told him that it's my home, but it's none of their business.

So am I the butthole? OP, you're following all laws and regulations regarding renting, and as far as I'm concerned, it's your house, so if you don't want people living in your house, you have every right to kick them out. You know, assuming you follow a Viction Guidelines, of course, which sounds like you are. And like, the funny thing is, the husband was completely ready to kick you to the curb, so why should you feel bad about kicking him to the curb? Opie, I'm giving you zero out of 5 buttholes. I think I'm also giving the husband 0 out of 5 buttholes because there's nothing exactly wrong about changing your mind

and wanting to live in a place for longer. Am I the butthole for making my chronically late friend, Miss or Seminar? My friend, a 25 year old woman, is constantly late for everything. Be it work related or fun activity, she will always be at least 15 to 20 minutes late. She doesn't have a car, so oftentimes I, a 25-year-old guy will pick her up from her house. I work at a university and she's a PhD student there, so her place is along the way for me. Last time I offered her a ride to work,

she ended up being 20 minutes late after I'd already arrived at her place. Because of that, I ended up being 20 minutes late after I'd already arrived at her place. Because of that, I ended up being late for work. She's always very apologetic about her lateness, but nothing ever changes. This week, she was supposed to give a seminar at the university, which is a crucial part of her PhD program. She asked me if I could give her a right to work that day. I told her, sure, but I'm picking her up at 8 a.m. and she must be there exactly at 8 a.m. not a minute later. She chuckled, but I told her that I was not joking, and she promised that she would be there. The morning of

her seminar, I drove to her place and got there at 7.55 a.m. and I texted her that I was here. She told me that she would be out in just a minute. At 8 o'clock, there was no indication that she would come out and she didn't text anything, so at 8 o'clock I drove off. At around 8 o'clock, she called me asking me where I was. I told her I was at work and that I wasn't joking when I told her that she had to be ready right that minute. She started screaming and crying over the phone and told me that she was having a hard time that morning and couldn't be ready right at 8 a.m. She then begged me to come back to pick her up because her seminar was at 9 a.m. and she needed to be at school before then.

I could have driven over there quick enough to pick her up and drop her off without it affecting my work, but I decided that I didn't want to do that and I told her that I wouldn't. She was crying and hyperventilating at that point and said that she would promise to never be late for anything else again, and re-emphasize that this seminar was crucial for her PhD and that she absolutely cannot miss it without severe consequence. I responded, oh well, and hung up. I then went about my day at work normally. I feel like I could have gone back to pick her up in this scenario since it wouldn't have been detrimental to me. And at the same time, this was something

very important for her. On the other hand, I feel like this should be a wake-up call for her chronic lateness. Alright, hold on a second. You left at 801 and you were at work at 820 and you said that her place was on the way to your work, which presumably means that her place is closer than your place. That means you got to work at 19 minutes. So at 820, she has 40 minutes to get to the place she has to be. And if it took you 19 minutes and she has 40 minutes to do it, then what's stopping her from just getting an Uber? Right? It's not like you were dooming her to miss her own seminar. She could have ended your call, ordered an Uber, waited 10 to 20 minutes, and then still

arrived in time. But I guess she didn't because she didn't want to spend 30 bucks on the Uber. Opie, you're completely in the clear here. Her lateness is her problem, and if it's so important that she shows up on time, then she should respect your time as well. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your friend 1 out of 5 buttholes. Just download Uber, lady.

No need to hyperventilate and cry. Just order an Uber. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.