rSlash - r/AmITheA--hole for Making My Mom Homeless?

Episode Date: June 18, 2022

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Welcome to R-Slash, am I the butthole where a Karen tries to kick OP out of his own house? Am I the butthole for changing all the locks in my house without letting my mom know? I'm a 23 year old guy, and when I was 15, my dad died. My mom, who's 45, didn't wait too long to start over and moved in with her new partner just two months later. My dad left everything to me and not even a dime to her. They weren't married. My dad's will was structured so that she couldn't challenge it, and she attempted and even asked me to pass over one of my properties to her to show my new dad that he was welcome.

But I couldn't have done that even if I wanted to, because my dad's will was specific that I have to be 21 to access everything that he left me. My stepdad has two kids who are currently an 18 year old boy and a 19 year old girl. My mom prioritized them to keep him happy. I mean, she wasn't like abusive or neglectful, but she did tend to favor them. They went on trips, and even if she didn't expressly tell me not to go, she'd say something like, wouldn't you like to go to your grandparents instead? I mean, I'm not stupid, I know that she didn't want me there.

When I turned 17, she asked me to leave my own house because I kept fighting with her man, and I also reminded him of whose house it was when he wanted to play the man of the house. My grandparents told me to avoid confrontations, so I went to live with them. My mom would visit me often and tell me how much she loved me, but she needed to keep the peace at home. After college, I decided to check my properties, and also the one that my mom is living at.

I wanted to renovate it and rent it out because it would help me afford my masters. I went there to tell my mom, but no one was there. I called her, but she didn't answer, so I went ahead and changed the locks. They arrived yesterday and couldn't get in, of course, so they called me, but I wasn't in town. I came back to the house today because some renovation work was gonna start in a few weeks.

When I came back, I was standing in the backyard and my mom came at me furious yelling at me saying how dare I do that. So we talked and I let them know they have two weeks to leave. Her husband who's unemployed. Oh sorry, self-employed was furious. My mom and her step-daughter started crying because the girl is pregnant, but I made up my mind. My mom's family is shaming me, but I'd like to know if you think that I'm the butthole. My mom called me today asking if we can talk. Okay, age 15 to 23, so that's 8 years. That means that your mom and her boyfriend were living rent-free in your house for

eight years. I'm going to assume based on comments that OP made in the thread that he's from the UK. So what is the average rent in the UK for a house? Okay, so a one-bedroom apartment is a thousand dollars per month if you're in the city. It sounds like this is an actual house, like a single family house, so I think it's probably going to be closer to like 1500 for an actual house, maybe 2000. So let's say 1500 times 12 months times 8 years comes out to $144,000. This is super rough math, but nonetheless, it's very clear that your mom has essentially stolen money from you. Opie, this is your house. If they want to live in it, they can pay you rent, especially after they had the audacity to try to kick you out of your own home. Am I the butthole for getting upset

and telling my dad that his girlfriend didn't buy me a Starbucks drink? I'm a 17 year old girl and I've been living with my dad who's 45, his girlfriend of two years, who's 33 and her daughter who's 13 for a couple of months now. My mom, who's 40, has been visiting my sick grandfather in Sweden. I've only ever stayed at my dad's on weekends, so it's been hard getting used to living with his girlfriend and her kid full time. The kid is super whiny and pretty spoiled because the girlfriend dots on her so I usually just stay in my room. Today, my dad's girlfriend was taking her daughter on a special outing because she passed

a math test and my dad suggested that I go with them for a girl's day out. I wanted to say no, but I knew that he wanted me to get to know his girlfriend and his girlfriend's daughter better, so I agreed. My dad gave his girlfriend $300 to spend during the outing. We spent the day going in and out of stores at the girlfriend's daughter liked in the mall complex. The girlfriend ended up buying her a ton of clothes, makeup, and other stuff that I don't remember. On our way back home, the girlfriend stopped at the Starbucks because her daughter wanted to drink in some cake pops. She ordered a drink for her and her daughter and two cake pops. I asked her if I could get something, and she said that she ran out of money,

and I'll get you something next time. When they got their order, I asked if I could have one of the cake pops, and the girlfriend said that it was her daughter's treat for hard work, and it would be wrong for me to take one, since you didn't do anything that deserved being rewarded. I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty upset. When we got back home, my dad saw their drinks and asked where mine was. I told him, I wasn't allowed to get one because I don't deserve it. His girlfriend got upset and said that I was twisting her words and the daughter just said that I was being greedy and was jealous of her.

I know that I'm not entitled to a drink or a cake pop, but I also don't think that it's wrong to be a little annoyed. Am I the butthole? Okay, Opie, that's where you're wrong. You are actually entitled to a cake pop and a drink here. Your father gave his girlfriend $300, presumably with the expectation that she would spend that money on both you and her daughter. But she didn't. She blew all $300 on just her daughter. And to be honest, I don't really believe the whole, oh, I don't have any money left. I'm pretty sure that she didn't spend exactly $300 and zero cents after the cake pops in the drink. I'm sure she had money left over. I'm sure she could have spent her own money on you, but she just chose not to because, let's be honest, she's a

B word. The way the girlfriend is treating you is not okay, and I'm guessing that your dad wouldn't be okay with it either. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving the girlfriend 2.5 out of five buttholes, and her daughter 1 out of five buttholes. I'm giving the girlfriend 2.5 out of 5 buttholes and her daughter 1 out of 5 buttholes. I also feel like I have to give the dad 1 out of 5 buttholes at minimum because even though he didn't do something bad here, anytime something bad happens to someone's kids, it's always the parent's responsibility, right? And I would have to guess this isn't the first time the girlfriend is treated you badly, so if this guy is just completely clueless that his girlfriend doesn't even like you, then that's on him. Am I the butthole for laughing when my ex's wife complained to me? My ex cheated on me with his current wife five years ago.

My ex and I share three sons who are 11, 10, and 8. My ex's wife has a daughter and a son with her ex who she also cheated on with my ex. Those two have said it all, that it was meant to be, that it's so great because now the kids have a bigger, happier family. Blah blah blah. I'm over the cheating in some ways. There is very much a sting that the affair partner in my marriage gets to call herself my kid's stepmom.

But I'm not at all sorry that my ex has gone. My ex-husband slept with her behind my back for 18 months before her husband and I found out. I'm civil when the kids are around and I ignore them when the kids aren't around. This whole thing happened over my ex's parents. They were disgusted with him for cheating. My mother-in-law told him that he destroyed his kids' foundation. That leaving a spouse is never easy and divorces hard for kids anyway. But when you add in conflict in the way

of cheating, you take something from a child that they can rarely ever get back, and that parents can still care about each other and want the best for each other despite not being together. My ex-husband's parents have stayed very close with me, and they haven't welcomed my ex-husband's new wife at all. Nor have they been involved with my ex's life at all or his step-kids. It bothers my ex-husband's wife a lot. My youngest son won an award in school a couple of weeks ago. My ex-husband and his wife was there, so was I. My ex's wife ended up coming up to complain to me because both mine and my ex's parents showed up briefly, spoke to my son, then to me, then left. She was saying how unfair it is, how her kids don't understand why my ex's family want nothing to do with them and why they never see them, but they know that my kids do have a relationship with them.

She said that my ex's family loves me and it hurts her feelings to not feel good enough. I'll be honest, I rolled my eyes at first, but then I laughed because she seemed to expect sympathy or help from me, me laughing at her, pissed her off. I've heard from both her and my ex that I was rude, that I should care about her kids at least, and I'm not thinking of my kids when I keep bad blood between us and laugh at her suffering. One part of me doesn't care,

and believes that I'm fine because my kids couldn't see it. Another part of me wonders if I was a butthole to laugh at her. Am I the butthole? Man, this girl's gonna sleep with your husband for 18 months and then expect you to what? Sympathize with her, help her out? Honestly, she's lucky that you're talking to her at all. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes.

She is delusional. She and your ex-husband get 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for doing the absolute minimum chores after my girlfriend's parents implied that I wasn't a man and she agreed with them? I work from home and my job is relaxed, so it doesn't require me to be glued to the screen. My girlfriend works in a stressful customer service job and most of her days are terrible. In the two years that we've been living together, I do practically all the chores around the house and I try to treat her like a queen when she comes back home.

However, the one thing that I can't do is be a handyman no matter how easy the task is. A few months ago, the bathroom door hinges needed to be replaced so I called a friend to help. Last week during lunch with her parents, I asked her dad about the project that he was working on. He does woodworking as a hobby. He showed me the progress on his phone and suggested I should help him with the last touches. My girlfriend told him that I can't even replace door hinges, let alone help with that. Her mom said that every man should know how to fix things around the house and her husband

agreed with her. The remainder of lunch was very awkward. It was like they were my real parents and were disappointed of me for being such a huge failure. After we left, I told my girlfriend that I didn't expect their reaction. Instead of taking my side, she said that they were right because it was embarrassing that I need to call a friend to help with something so trivial. I reminded her that I get nervous and anxious every time I touch a tool.

I admitted that it was stupid, but it's just the way I am and I've been honest with her since the start. Still, she didn't change her mind. I told her that since their idea of being a man is twisted, I should share the same view and start working on being their version of a man. I told her I would stop cooking for her, and I'd stop doing the dishes, laundry, and cleaning. The only chores that I would keep doing is taking the trash out and grocery shopping. That way, I could focus my time and effort on becoming a man.

Yeah, Opie, I'm going to be honest with you, this seems like you're giving them exactly what they asked for, not in like a malicious way, not being mean, just yeah, they want you to be a manly man's man. So that means traditionally you don't cook, you don't clean, it means that she cooks and cleans. So like yeah, if she wants that traditional men do men things and women do women things, then you can give her exactly that. And like

anything else, that's a double-edged sword. So she should be careful what she wishes for. Honestly, OP based in her argument, you could even call her a terrible woman because she's not doing her wifely duties around the house. How would she feel if you all went to lunch with your family and then you all criticized her for not being a proper woman who cooks and cleans? OP, you could zero out of not being a proper woman who cooks and cleans. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your girlfriend and her family get 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my sister that she should have gone to college if she wanted

a life like mine? My sister and I are twins, age 33. We come from a culture, not India, where arranged marriages are an option. Mostly, they're just blind dates set up by a matchmaker, and if you're compatible, you marry. When we both graduated high school, my sister, who was valedictorian by the way, chose not to attend college. She asked for an arranged marriage since all she wanted was to be a wife and a mother, and there's nothing wrong with that. My parents, who are a love match, tried to convince her to at least get her bachelor's degree, but she refused.

I, on the other hand, went to college for computer engineering. A year later, she married a man that she met through a matchmaker. He's a very nice man, a teacher, and treats my sister like a queen. The thing is, he was just a freshly higher teacher. My sister went from living in a double income house with parents both being high earners, a doctor and a lawyer, to a single income house on a teacher salary. I graduated at 23, and I started working as a cybersecurity personnel for a big bank. After two years of dating around, I too asked for an arranged marriage.

My husband is a business owner, a real estate developer, and he makes a lot more than I do. He also comes from money. My sister didn't like him from the get-go, and she even threw a tantrum, thankfully in private, in my wedding. The problem is that my first child is now at the age where she's starting preschool, and we signed her up for a private school. The tuition per month is more than what her husband makes per year. When my sister heard about this, she just exploded. She was ranting about how it's not fair that our kids won't have equal opportunities. How the only reason I could live like I do was because my parents chose a better husband

for me. I became angry for how she treated me, her husband, and my parents, so I laid out the truth to her. I told her that I got matched with a better husband because I'm a college educated woman with a respectable job, and that wealthy men using matchmakers don't want 19-year-old high school graduates. Their standards are higher. I told her that her husband is a wonderful man who loves her.

But if all she wanted was a wealthy man, then she should have gone to college. Now my twin sister is no contact with me, and she says that I'm an elitist butthole. So am I the butthole? No, sounds like someone's just jealous. Like what are you the butthole? No, sounds like someone's just jealous. Like, what are you the butthole for exactly? Living a good life, pursuing a career that you want, having a good husband? It's not your fault that her life isn't as good as your life.

OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your sister two out of five buttholes. That was our slash of my the butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. That was our Slash Amid the Butthole, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.