rSlash - r/AmITheA-Hole for Mocking a Woman's Miscarriage?

Episode Date: August 22, 2022

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Welcome to our slash Am I the butthole where OP transforms into a total bridesilla? Am I the butthole for having high expectations for my bachelor at party? I'm a 25 year old woman and I'm getting married to my wonderful fiance who's 31 this fall. A week ago, I had my bachelor at party. While most girls dream of their weddings, I dreamt about my bachelor at party. I put a lot of planning into this weekend, made a lot of phone calls, reservations, everything basically. From Thursday night to Sunday morning, me and 25 of my closest girlfriends rented a house. From the start, it was a disaster. I told my girls to get to the house early on Thursday so they could decorate and set up before I got there. Well, I got to the house at 3 and they weren't done decorating, so that bummed me out because

I wanted that wow moment when I came in and saw the setup. I felt robbed, but we still had a decent first night. Friday, I woke everyone up at 7 a.m. to make breakfast and get ready because we had a packed day. Vineyards, boat, lunch, happy hour drinks, then dinner and clubs. I was getting shaded on all afternoon because people said they were being rushed from place to place and had to carry changes of clothes all day, but we only had limited time in the city and I wanted to make the most of it. Saturday was worse.

We had brunch at 9 a.m. and no one was awake on time, so it only ended up being me and a few loyal bridesmaids. We went shopping afterwards for a few hours, and when we got back to the house, no one was even apologetic, even though I was close to tears all day. The last draw for me was later that night when we were going to dinner, and nobody was wearing the matching shirts that we got for the weekend. People wanted to wear their own stuff, but that's not what we agreed to, even though my maid of honor notified everyone. At this point, I said FIT, this weekend was ruined and I locked myself in my room

to cry. It was even worse when I came out a few hours later and half the girls had gone out anyway, without me, the actual bride. I ended up driving home early on Sunday and left the house a mess for the girls to pick up because I was so upset. Now it's been almost a week and no one has really texted me except for some bridesmaids and my maid of honor. I know that I sound brideszilla-ish, but these are supposed to be my friends and we were supposed to celebrate me all weekend and I felt neglected and I'm just really upset. I understand these expectations may seem like a lot, but I made my expectations clear to the group and they just let me down so bad.

Tell me, am I the butthole? Uhhh, I mean, kinda, yeah. This does not sound like a fun weekend. This sounds exhausting. What did you, what did you make these girls do? Vineyards boat lunch happy hour than dinner and the clubs. That is a packed day. And if you're going to the club, I'm expecting people to stay up late, drinking.

Which means, of course, you would allow people to sleep in the next day, right? But nope, we have brunch at 9 a.m. Lady brunches at 9 a.m. That's breakfast. Brunches like 11. So like, I don't know, I kind of can't blame these girls for not being so into this. And 25 separate women. I mean, these are not 25 of your closest girlfriends. These are like acquaintances at that point.

Honestly, you seem like one of those really controlling kind of unfun people who's obsessed with schedules and being on time. And and this this just seems like a really exhausting weekend. I am sorry that your bachelor party got ruined but if it makes you feel better it sounds like you ruined their party too. You gotta keep in mind OP if this is a four day weekend and people took time off of work took time off schedules to come spend time with you with this party. So even though this is your party in in a way, it's their party too, right? Anyways, I'm giving you two out of five buttholes for being way too demanding. Am I the butthole for refusing to punish my son or allowing my wife to punish our son? This all started back in March.

My son's best friend turned 13. In his family, the 13th birthday is a huge deal. In addition to a massive party, which all four of us were invited to, his parents also took him to Disney World. They invited my son to attend as well. My wife was hesitant to consent to this. She said it was unfair to allow our son to go when our nine-year-old daughter can't, especially since she loves Disney and princesses. I said that our kids won't always have the exact same opportunities, and if we set a precedent here, then we would have to stick to it if and when our daughter gets a similar opportunity.

So, we would just be punishing both our kids needlessly. My wife reluctantly agreed that we should allow our son to go. I gave our son money to buy his sister souvenirs. He did, and his friend's parents even bought extra stuff for him to give to her. Still, when she saw him come back wearing a Star Wars shirt and the Mickey had in trading pin lanyard, she burst into tears. My wife later said that we made a huge mistake, and we never should have let him go. I mistakenly thought that all of this was behind us. Now, we're not well off financially, but my brother-in-law is,

and he invited all of us to visit a beach house that he rented for a summer send-off. My wife told me that she wants to have our son stay with my dad and just take out my daughter to even the score. I told my wife that is not happening. Where are their parents? We can't favor one child over the other. Not being invited to the birthday trip of a kid you barely know is in no way comparable

to being left out of a family vacation. And I'm shocked that she would even suggest such a thing. I refuse to allow it. Now my wife is angry, but I don't care. I'm not punishing my son for being lucky. Am I the butthole? Okay, so one of my core values as a person is that when you love someone, it's important to celebrate their successes

and mourn their losses. O.P., your wife and your daughter aren't following that. Instead of celebrating your son's success, they're mourning your son's success. This is a really like backwards messed up and in my opinion toxic way to view your relationships with your family members. And like, yeah, I can understand the jealousy,

especially for like a nine year old girl, you know, that'd be a very difficult thing for her to grapple with and sort of like handle. But still, if your daughter and wife love your son, then they should put aside their own jealousy and feelings of unfairness and just be happy that he had this amazing opportunity. Because that's what you do when you love someone.

So in this story, I'm giving your son zero out of five buttholes. He did absolutely nothing wrong, so your right OP, he shouldn't be punished. And that's effectively what your wife wants to do is punish him for doing nothing wrong. OP, I've got your back here. You get zero out of five buttholes. If anything, I'm proud of you for sticking up for your son. I think I'll also give your daughter zero out of five buttholes because even though she should be happy for her older brother, I don't know if we can really like, you know, blame

her for being upset about that because, you know, she's just nine. So if she's feeling jealous, then yeah, it's okay for her to feel jealous. What you and your wife should do is sit your daughter down and explain to her that sometimes things aren't always fair. But when your brother gets lucky, you should be happy for him not sad for you. Your wife, on the other hand, gets 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Punishing an innocent child in the name of fairness is just stupid. Am I the butthole for leaving dinner at my husband's family's house over a comment he made about my miscarriage? Oh yikes, what am I about to read? Okay, my husband and I have been trying to have kids for over three years. I've had a series of miscarriages and not a single pregnancy was successful.

Our most recent miscarriage was a month ago. And although my husband has never said anything up until now, the tension and emotions are very overwhelming, and I've become sensitive even at the mention of the topic. He took me to his family's house for dinner last night, and his mom brought up my miscarriage. The look of disappointment on her face made me lose my appetite completely. She went on and on about what might have caused it. Then my husband chimed in and said that he's starting to come to a conclusion that maybe she's incapable of being a mom. I was floored for two reasons. One is that he would even say such a thing.

Two is that no doctor has told us that there's something wrong with me specifically. So for him to declare that I was incapable of bearing children and being a mom really hurt. I looked at him and was like, what? Then he told me not to get offended since he was just being honest. He said that he loves me and he thinks that I'm perfect, but he still thinks that I'm flawed in that area, referring to motherhood. I had it at that point. I just got up from my seat, took my stuff, and headed to the door. I said nothing and just made my way out. He shouted at me, but I didn't stop.

I went home, and when he got home, he started unloading about me about how immature and too sensitive and ridiculous I was being. He said that he was giving his honest opinion about the matter, and I have no right to police the words that come out of his mouth. Whether I like what I'm hearing or not, it's still the truth. We argued some and then stopped talking altogether. He kept saying that I exaggerated and that walking out during dinner disrespected him and his family over literally nothing.

I'm unsure if I handled this the right way or if I acted out of emotions. Well, there's like an easy and also a very petty way to test this. Next time you're at a family function, just say, yeah, I don't know if I'm going to have kids with my husband because something's wrong with his penis, I think. It's like broken or something, or I guess his balls are like shriveled up and worthless because he just won't give me a baby that I can carry to term. I don't know what's wrong with his manhood. I guess he just not cut out to be a father.

If he looks at you with a smile and says, ah, you know, I never thought about that. Perhaps I'm the problem with this pregnancy. You make a good point, sweetie. Then I guess in that case, everything's fair and even and you can go on with your life. But if he gets predictably upset, which you know he would be because that's a very insulting thing to say, then you can say, ah-ha, my dear sweet husband turns out you're a hypocrite and you're the butthole here. Now obviously, I'm not saying you should do that because that's, you know, fighting back and getting revenge and being petty, which you shouldn't do in a loving relationship,

I'm just saying this to illustrate that your husband's being a douchebag to put it simply. Not only is it cruel, heartless, and embarrassing to say something like that, but he doesn't even know that you're the problem, right? It's very possible that his messed up sperm is causing the miscarriage. And then like on time that he called you too sensitive about a miscarriage, let me say that sentence again slowly. He said that you were too sensitive about a miscarriage. Is it possible?

Is it humanly possible to be too sensitive about a miscarriage? I'm actually not sure if it is. It is one of the most sensitive topics you can possibly think of. Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. Your husband gets 3.5 out of five buttholes for saying such a cruel, heartless thing that might not even be true. Am I the butthole for refusing to buy my fiancée a gaming laptop for a few thousand dollars after he told me to find a real job? I'm a 30 year old woman and my fiance is 37. We started living together six months ago. I own a house and he moved in with me. I run an online business from home which allows me to live rather comfortably. A month after he moved in, he quit his job saying how much he hated it, and that he's gonna try to do twitch dreaming for a living.

I am all for following your passions, so I was supportive, although surprised at the turn of events. I am in a financial position to support us both, but it felt off. Anyway, nothing's happened with his twitch channel. Sure, he's gaming all day, but he hasn't even bothered to make a Twitch account. He just games for pleasure. It's been 7 months! I've had conversations with him suggesting that he finds work, but he keeps telling me

that I'm unsupportive and that he needs time. He wanted us to buy a bigger house together, but I said that I'm fine with my current one. And that since he doesn't have a job, I don't want to get a mortgage and be left with paying everything by myself. He told me that if I found a real job, maybe I wouldn't have financial problems. We had a massive argument that night. Now he's been hinting at needing a new gaming laptop, which cost a few thousand dollars, and I've been ignoring him so he asked

out right for me to buy it for him for his birthday. I told him no because my fake job doesn't cover new laptops and he got really pissed at me telling me that I'm selfish and I'm ruining his career. Granted I can't afford to buy it but he really hurt me saying that my business is not a real job, despite me working my butt off. Am I the butthole for not buying him a new laptop? Opie, girl, girl, what is going on here, man? For real, what is going on here? Why are you with this guy?

This guy has no money, no job, he sits around all day playing video games, he trashes on your job, and then he says he's pursuing his passions of becoming a Twitch streamer at the age of 37 without a gaming computer, by the way. But he won't even make a Twitch account. Yo, this guy doesn't want a girlfriend, he wants a sugar mama, or just straight up a mommy. I guess, because he just wants to sit around all day and play video games while his mommy makes money and he can just make me a sandwich.

I'm hungry, mommy. Opie, dump him, man. Dumb him. This guy acts more like a 17 year old than a 37 year old. Like literally I would expect a 17 year old to try out a twitch channel and you know not have a job and live with his sugar mama slash mommy. I want to expect a 37 year old man. Come on dude. dump them dump him. Opie you get zero out of five buttholes. Your loser boyfriend gets three out of five buttholes. And just like real quick, let me say, I'm in my 30s, I'm in my mid 30s, so I'm not really

trashing on this guy for being a 37 year old who doesn't have a job and is pursuing streaming. Because I mean, that's my career, essentially. So I don't want to come off as like a hypocrite here. But like if you're going to pursue being a social media influencer, then do it. You have to live, breathe, eat, sleep, social media 24-7 until you finally figure out how it works,

and then you can start to be successful. You can just play Fortnite for eight hours a day without actually streaming. Oh, I'm trying to grind my skill, babe. I'm trying to climb the ladder, babe. Once I get good, then I'll start streaming, babe. Nah, man, that's not how it works. Am I the butthole for offering my friends

to buy their apartment and rent it out to them? My friend Zoe and her boyfriend ran an apartment near us. They love living there, but their landlord announced that he'll sell it soon. Zoe and her boyfriend are devastated. They even talked to someone from the bank, and sadly they can't afford to buy the place. My husband and I talked, and we realized that we have enough money to buy that apartment.

I told Zoe and her boyfriend that we could buy it and they could keep living there. The only difference for them would be that they would send their rent money to a different account from now on. Zoe's boyfriend lost it, and he basically started yelling at us. He said that he doesn't need us taking away his apartment, then getting rich off of his rent money. He said something about us making him buy an apartment for us because the mortgage would be paid with his rent and we'd be using him.

He called us arrogant, among other things, and meanwhile I am baffled by his overreaction. I'm wondering, was our offer really that offensive? Am I the butthole? Okay, so like, yeah, I can understand the logic of what you're doing, you're kind of like saving their apartment so you like see yourself as a good guy. However, in 2022, landlords are not going to good wrap anymore. I mean, they kind of always have had a bad wrap, but recently it's gotten pretty bad. And if you buy your friend's apartment and you're expecting rent from them, then that kind of like shifts the power dynamic a little, so I can understand why they'd be upset,

especially if Zoe's boyfriend is one of those types of people who just hates landlords in general, which is a very fair thing to hate nowadays. I will say though that he overreacted a bit. What he should have done would just say, no thanks, that makes me uncomfortable. This is a very uncomfortable power dynamic for me, and I don't want to owe money to my friends. Like, that's the normal thing to do. But instead, he flipped out at you and called you arrogant, which is, you know, a little bit extreme. So this feels like a mild, everyone sucks here situation where everyone gets one out of five buttholes, you for being a bit presumptuous and him for overreacting. I kind of get this into people are going to disagree with me in the comments, so let

me know if I got this wrong. I don't know. I kind of see both sides to be honest with you. Man, the comments are viciously disagreeing. Some people are arguing that like from a purely logical perspective, OP is simply doing them a favor. She's saving their apartment and all they have to do is write a check to a different person instead of their old landlord. But you know, I mean, it's not always about logic. It's also about the emotions

and like the social dynamics and just, you know, telling your friend, hey, by the way, buddy of mine, make sure you pay rent next month. I mean, it is a little, it is a bit exploitative when you get down to it. That was our slash in my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.