rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Not Becoming a Sugar Daddy?

Episode Date: December 17, 2022

https://www.youtube.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

These side marios all you can eat is all you can maja soup salad and garlic home Welcome to our slash am I the butthole where we have an honest to God Karen who doesn't realize that she's a Karen Am I the butthole for making a post about my daughter's favorite celebrity being rude to us? My daughter and I were recently on vacation. We spent the day in an area that's known to have a lot of rich and famous people, and towards the end of the day, we saw one of my daughter's favorite celebrities walking out of a store. We'll call her Alice. My daughter ran to the store, but when she got near Alice, she was stopped by Alice's security. They said that Alice was there with her daughter for her daughter's birthday, and she just wants to focus on her daughter. My daughter was very upset because she's

been a fan of Alice for a very long time, so she tried again to get a picture, but was turned away. My daughter was crushed, so later that night I made a post talking about my experience with Alice. How she wouldn't let anyone go near her or her daughter, and the fact that her security was rude, and her not being willing to stop for a couple of seconds for a picture. I understand that it's her daughter's birthday, but a one minute interaction with a fan isn't going to ruin her day, and if it does, then her daughter needs to learn that the world doesn't revolve around her. The post ended up getting a lot of attention, and a lot of people actually said that my daughter and I were being entitled for expecting

Alice to interrupt her daughter's birthday for everyone that went to picture. My husband also saw the post and said that he couldn't believe that I would bash Alice for trying to spend the day with her daughter. I'm not trying to bash Alice for spending the day with her daughter, but she wouldn't be where she is without her fans, so I think she at least owes it to them to take a picture. Am I the butthole for making a post about Alice? Man, the crazy thing about this post is OP literally says the solution to her problem. That girl needs to learn that the world doesn't revolve around her. OP, those are your words. You said that. So why is it that Alice's daughter has to know the world doesn't revolve around her,

but you and your daughter can't take the same lesson. When I came, like, Opie, how did you have this happen to you and then type this up and have people online tell you, Opie, you're wrong. And then have your husband tell you, Opie, you're wrong. And then type all this out out look at it and be like Ah, yes, I'm definitely right here. I'm gonna post it online

I then have every one of the comments be like OP you're wrong and still think I don't understand why everyone doesn't think that I'm right Man Karen's really live in this like alternate reality where the rules just don't apply to them It's so weird when you get one of these posts because it kind of gets you like in the brain of a Karen and their brains just literally they don't work like a normal person's brain. You know what I mean? Oh, P, I'm giving you 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. What you did in the Grand Schema thing wasn't too bad, but I've also got to give you like 4 out of 5 delusional score because you just don't understand how reality works clearly

Am I the butthole for refusing to leave the room when my husband told me to? My husband's best friend a woman got the news of her dogs cancer days ago My husband would call her every day and tell yesterday when she visited I opened the door for her greeted, then let her to the living room. Then I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water after my husband asked me to. I came back and I didn't find them in the living room. Turns out they went to the guest room and the door was shut. I heard weeping and sobbing sounds coming from inside.

I knocked, went inside, and found my husband and her embracing each other and crying. I stood by the door, but my husband paused and told me to give them a moment. I got to say, I did not feel comfortable with his requests, so I remained standing. He got up and started repeatedly telling me to get out. I told him it's my house, and he can't tell me where I can and can't stay. He got angry and told me to get out. I told him it's my house, and he can't tell me where I can and can't stay. He got angry and told me to get out and that we'll talk later, but I refused. He asked what was wrong with me for not seeing how tense the situation was and for not giving them privacy.

I told him that they did not need to shut the door for any reason, no matter what it was. We argued and she ended up leaving. He blew up at me afterwards, calling me unbelievable and saying that I had no respect for him and his friend who's going through a hard time and refusing to give them privacy. I told him how weird it was for them to shut the door just because they were crying. He told me that I was petty and overbearing to act like this in front of her and stopping him from showing proper support. Now he's completely gone radio silent

and is acting like I kicked her out and treated her poorly. So for context, I'm 26, my husband is 31 and the friend is 28. She's been like his best friend and sister for over eight years. She tends to be very emotional and highly sensitive. She and I don't get along

because she tends to be a boundary stopper, and she does and says things that make me feel like I don't know my husband as much as she does. She also compares us as well. Initially, I didn't even want her to come to the house, but my husband called her and told her to come since he didn't see her after the news was received until yesterday. Okay, so down in the comments, there's a lot of different routes that people are taking. Some people are saying that it's strange and disrespectful for a married man to hug a crying woman like that. Other people are saying that it's really suspicious that they're shutting the door.

Other people are saying they think they have an affair. And like, I'm on this side of the line, I agree that they're doing something inappropriate, but my reasoning is different from pretty much every post that I've seen so far. In my opinion, like, whether or not there's actually something going on is kind of a relevant here. I think that when you're married to someone, it's your responsibility to your partner to prevent the appearance of something going on. Like, you know, I'm not interested in cheating on my wife.

And so if there were some bizarre circumstance where, uh, I don't know, where like I had to sleep in the same bed as another woman and she didn't want to sleep with me and I didn't want to sleep with her, even though like I know in my heart I'm not interested in this other woman, I still just wouldn't do it. Because the act of doing that and the appearance of what it might look like would just be like deeply disrespectful to my wife and it would make her worry and doubt our relationship, which is not something I want to do. So like that's the problem here in my opinion, not that he's comforting her, not that he's asking her to leave, but that he shut the door which does have an implication. And in my opinion,

it's not really relevant whether or not that implication is true, because as a husband, it's his responsibility for there to never be that implication in the first place. He could have the most innocent and pure intentions, and the frame could have the most innocent and pure intentions. Still, don't be in a bedroom with a closed door telling your wife not to come in, like that's suspicious. And the mere fact that it is suspicious makes it wrong and disrespectful to the marriage. Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttles. I think that your reaction is very understandable here. I'm giving your husband and his friend two out of five buttles. Also, based on the story and the clarifying context,

it kind of sounds like she wants to bang your husband, OP. Am I the butthole for telling my fiance's family that he's unemployed after they kept implying that I was a gold digger? So my fiance, who's 33, comes from a well-off family. I'm a 29-year-old woman and I come from a working class family. My fiance's family is nice, but they can't help throwing comments at me about how I might be a gold digger. For example, if he buys me something they'll go, oh, Jason bought you that? You know the way this looks, right? Or wait, Jason paid for this?

Only gold diggers make their partner pay for stuff all the time. Just saying. It's so demeaning and my fiance does nothing to stop it. Especially now that he's in a bad place in life after he lost his job. And since he's been keeping it a secret, I'm the one who's been paying for everything. This has been going on for four months. Last week his parents invited us for dinner and he insisted that we go so we went. At the dinner table, his mom grabbed my hand, literally while I was eating and

looked at my bracelet and went, oh this bracelet looks really nice. Did Jason pay for it? I nodded and reminded her that he bought it for me as a birthday gift last year. She was like, hmm, when do how much it costs? She then leaned back and said, you know, I remember when my brother was dating this gold digger woman, she'd received stuff like this, pointing at my bracelet. Bracelet here for her birthdays. I was stunned. I cut her off and asked if she meant to say that I was a gold digger. She threw up her hands and went, I mean, if the shoe fits while laughing awkwardly, silence took

over. I looked at my fiance and he shook his head at me like, what? I snapped. I told her it was bold of her to imply that I was a gold digger when I was literally providing for her unemployed son and have been for four months now. She looked at me in shock and his dad asked if that was true and my fiance just froze but looked so angry. An argument ensued and dinner was cut short and we had to leave after they started berating him. He had a rage fit in the car and just started yelling and lashing out at me. And my defense, I said that he just sat by and let his mom continually imply that I was a gold digger. But he said that they never outright called me a gold digger so it was all in my head. He said that I still had no right to take advantage of his unfortunate circumstance to get back at his mom and expose him to the family. His parents

went on about how disappointed they were, and now, as a result, he got disinvited from Thanksgiving. He blew up at me because of it this morning, and kept saying that I screwed him over so badly when he was just an innocent bystander. Yo, innocent bystander? Innocent bystander who's watching his fiancee get continuously insulted by his own parents. Oh, Pee, why do you want to marry this guy? His parents are toxic and he just lets them be toxic to you. I'm kind of getting the sense that his parents try to control people with money, because I would assume that when you find out that your kid got fired or lost his job, you would respond

with sympathy, not by berating him and punishing him and by disinviting him from family events Thanksgiving. That's a really weird and controlling way to respond, if you ask me. And like, yeah, you shouldn't have responded that way, like in a perfect world you would have responded with grace. But if your fiance is not going to defend you, then you have every right to defend yourself, so I can't begrudge you for that. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your in-laws two out of five buttholes, and I'm also giving your fiance two out of five buttholes as well. Am I the butthole for not getting on a flight after finding out that he put my kids

in economy? So my fiance has three kids from his former marriage, while I have two from my former marriage as well. I quit my job to start focusing on getting my degree. My fiance became the breadwinner, if you will, although I still contribute my savings. Also, I do 80% of the childcare and chores. Long story short, my fiance wanted me and my kids to attend Thanksgiving with his family who are located across the country and we were supposed to go yesterday.

He booked our tickets and everything, but later, before the flight, I found out that he, his kids, and myself were in first class, while my kids aged 14 and 10 were put in economy. I was stunned. He acted like it was no big deal and told us it is just a few hours and the kids could hang out in the back for a little while. I asked how he could think this was acceptable and he got mad and said that he's the one paying for tickets so we go buy his rules. I immediately turned around, took my kids and made my way out of the airport. He started following us, screaming at me to go back, but I refused and told him that I no longer felt like spinning things giving with his family after this.

My youngest was crying because she's never flown without me before. My fiance still went to Thanksgiving with his kids. Me and my kids are home. He has not stopped calling trying to berate me, and he even had his mom text that I needed to get over myself and stopped teaching my kids to be spoiled and entitled. She said the fact that I was willing to miss Thanksgiving with a family over something so trivial shows my real character and personality and mindset or lack thereof. I haven't replied, but I feel horrible.

Am I the butthole? Okay, as you might expect, people down in the comments are absolutely trashing on OP's fiance. And as a response, OP posts an update. I'm currently getting me and my kids packed up so that we can go stay with my mother. This has happened before in other instances, but I kept thinking to myself. I know this isn't right, but I've invested too much time and effort in this relationship, so maybe this shouldn't get in the way. And I would try to minimize most situations where I find that my kids were being put last. Not only that, but he tried to give me an ultimatum regarding getting my degree, and what was my response?

I know this isn't right, but I kept making light of it and letting it go. Now, he's probably bad-mouthing me to the whole family. And so is his mom, bless our effing hearts. So now, the kids and I are leaving. He'll be coming back to an empty home, except he'll find some company with the engagement ring that I took off and left on the nightstand. Distance and some re-evaluation is needed right now. Thank you to all who reached out with helpful input and perspectives. You're right, my kids come first, and that's what I keep trying to do, and I hope I won't ever fail.

Thank you so much for the support. OP, I'm glad that you came to the same conclusion that I was going to try to lead you to. Your fiance was treating your kids like second-class family members, and that's not the type of person you want to be married to. I'm giving him 2.5 out of five buttholes. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. The really stupid thing about this story

is that if you wanted his kids to experience first class, then they're really like easy, equitable solution. If he couldn't afford everyone having first class, it's to fly his kids out first class on the way there, and then your kids first class on the way back. You know, because then everyone gets a chance to fly first class, instead of treating your kids like they're somehow lesser. Am I the butthole for telling my girlfriend that we can't afford for me to be her sugar daddy? I'm a 27 year old guy, and my girlfriend, who's 23, is absolutely beautiful.

And most of her friends are also physically attractive women as well. They like to party with rich men that they meet. My girlfriend and I have been together for a couple of years. I make a decent living, but I'm not MBA rich. I don't have a trust fund. I'm not a tech millionaire. I just make a decent living, but I'm not MBA rich. I don't have a trust fund. I'm not a tech millionaire. I just make a very good salary and bonuses. Enough to have paid off a good portion of my house and have graduated without debt. I want to retire young to enjoy my life, so I invest and save most of my money. Not all of it.

I'm still enjoying my life now. I'm taking us to an all-inclusive trip to Jamaica for New Year's. But my girlfriend is jealous of her friends. They get lavish gifts and they go out for dinner all the time. She loves me and we have plans for the future, but she keeps bringing up all the things that her friends get from their male admirers. I finally snapped and said that I can't afford to be a sugar daddy. She said that her friends aren't like that. So I pointed out that they literally don't make enough money to support the lifestyles

they have. I pointed out that one of them drives a $100,000 Lexus, but she works part-time at a restaurant as a hostess. She says that I'm calling her friend sex workers, which I wouldn't do, and that I'm judging them. So I asked her to explain how her friends afford dinner out at very expensive restaurants while earning minimum wage in some cases. So now she thinks that I'm the butthole for making what I feel are apt observations.

She asked me if I consider her that way, because I pay for everything and I earn 6 times what she does. I told her no, that I'm proud to have a teacher for a girlfriend, but she's still sulking. Opie, um, okay. I think that the message you're sending is like a very healthy message, but I'm kind of getting the sense that the way that you sent that message was probably not a very kind or welcome or like productive way. Because in this story kind of sounds like you're attacking her friends. So obviously if you describe her friends

in a way that she sees as negative then she's gonna be defensive and she's gonna wanna protect her friends. So okay, if you can't afford this lifestyle then that's like a sit down conversation. Like the easy way to do that would be, okay, you wanna afford dinners out, you wanna afford a $100,000 Lexus,

let's look at the numbers. Let's like look at what I make. Let's look at what you make. Let's figure out taxes and rent and mortgage and food. And then what are we going to do with the money left over? And like that would be like a wake up call where you're like, oh, okay, we can't afford a 100K Lexus. We can't afford constantly going out to expensive dinners.

We can't afford vacations and so on and so forth. So like, yeah, you should have had that conversation with her, but you probably shouldn't have had it in a way that makes it seem like you're judging or attacking your friends because then she's just not going to be super welcome to the conversation. So I think I'll give you 0.5 out of 5 buttholes because your message is correct, but I think your messaging, the way that you sent that message is probably not the best. I'm also giving her 0.5 out of 5 but holes. She's just a little naive. She's got that pretty privilege. She doesn't understand how the world works.

She's just immature. She needs a wake up call. But overall, I think this is a very fixable problem. Just have a sit down conversation about finances and help or understand where the money's coming from, where the money's going, and then have conversations together about how you want to spend that money as a couple. That was our slash of my The Butthole.

And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.