rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Not Giving My Son a Free House?

Episode Date: July 25, 2022

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have children am I the butthole for telling my brother and my sister-in-law that it's good that they can't have children okay I know that what I said was awful, but please hear me out. I'm a 37-year-old guy and my wife is 38. We have two kids, age 17 and 4. Neither were planned, but we were happy that we have them both. Our 17-year-old has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair. He can dress himself, he talks, he does great in school, and overall he's a great great kid.

My brother and his wife can't have kids. They've been through a lot of in vitro fertilization and other treatments, but it hasn't been successful. I know that they're both devastated about it, especially my sister-in-law. We were all at my mother's house for dinner the other night, and my brother and my sister-in-law were telling us about their last unsuccessful round of IVF. And they said this might be it and they probably won't try again. We all said that we're sorry about that. And that it must be awful. Later that evening, my mom was asking about my 17 year olds plans for the future.

How school's going? Does he have a girlfriend? Does he like any girls? You know typical grandma stuff. My sister-in-law then said, can he even date? She said that to me and luckily my son didn't hear it. I just looked at her and said, what? She then said, well he'll be in your care forever. Do you really want him to bring a woman into that? I asked her to stop, but my brother said that she's just asking a question. At that point, everyone was listening to us talk. My sister-in-law then said to me and my wife. I didn't mean to offend you. It's just that a slow child might be too much work on their own without also adding dating. I loudly replied, our son is not slow, and you are way out of line here. She then said to me, relax, please.

Geez, I thought that you'd have more patience since you're raising an R word child. I lost it and said, you know what? It's a good thing that you can't have kids because you would have been a terrible mother. She broke down crying and my brother called me a butthole. Opie, when I read the title of this post, I was like, all ready to give you a five out of five butthole. OP, when I read the title of this post, I was like, already to give you a 5 out of 5 butthole

score. And when you said, okay, I know that what I said was awful, but please hear me out, I was thinking, there is no way that he's going to redeem himself here. But yeah, you redeemed yourself here. You're right OP, she shouldn't reproduce. If she holds so little respect for a minor with a disability, then she has no business having a child of her own. If anything, Opie, I'm glad that you sit up for your son. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your sister-in-law

four out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for throwing my future in-laws out of a house that I own? My son is excluding my family from his wedding. The inlaw's thought that my son owned the house, not us. My wife and I bought a four-bit room house in Pennsylvania that my son lives in. Our son went to college in Pennsylvania and wanted to stay in the area, so we bought him the house as a second home. We live in New Jersey and we commute to Manhattan for work. We figure that he would have a place to live and we could also visit every so often

and spend some quality time together. We pay for the taxes and maintenance on the house and our son pays for groceries and house utilities. Everything was going well for a few years. Our son meets a girl and they got serious. We met her and she seemed nice enough. They announced their engagement and she moves into the house with our son.

How for the problem, though wedding. We hold a little get to know you barbecue at the Pennsylvania house. My son and daughter are there, as well as our son's fiance, her parents and her sisters. We all seem to be getting along well. My wife, my daughter and my son go into the house, along with the fiance, her mother, and her sisters. A few minutes later, my wife and daughter come out, and they're really upset. They come over and tell me that we're leaving and driving

back to New Jersey. I try to find out what happened, but they won't tell me. Once we get back to New Jersey, they calm down, and they tell me that our son, his fiance and her family don't want to set the wedding. According to what I was told, we're not their kind of people. I was livid. I called my son and asked them what the hell this was about. He told me that her family feels that we're not good enough and that we'll embarrass them at the family wedding, so we're uninvited from the wedding.

I let a week go by to calm myself down and drive back to the Pennsylvania house. My son isn't there, but the new future in-laws and the fiancee are. It appears that they all moved into the house, and they asked me why I'm there. I tell them that since we aren't invited to the wedding, I was coming over to talk to my son. They tell me to leave their house. I lost it and told them they have 30 days to get out. I tell them to tell my son that I'm selling the house and he could find somewhere else to live with the rest of you people. I go to a realtor in town and list the house for sale. They call my son at work and tell him what I said. Apparently they thought that he owned the house. He calls

me and asks me why I'm selling his house. I tell him I paid for it along with the taxes on it, so it's mine. He's been living there rent-free, but since he doesn't want us in his new life, he has to get out now. I tell him the same thing that I told his future in-laws, they have 30 days to get out or I'll get a lawyer and have them evicted. So am I the butthole for taking a hard stance on this? He's my son, but it's like his new inlaws are taking over his life and we no longer count anymore. Oh, Pee, this is bizarre. Normally, when someone says, oh, you're not our type of people,

you would typically expect that to be coming from like a rich person who's looking down on a poor person, or, you know, just good old-fashioned racism. But if they're the rich people in this scenario, why do they have to move in with their future son-in-law? I don't know, this is just strange because I can't quite figure out why they're looking down on you. You know what I mean, OP? In any event, OP, your son needs a wake-up call. He is completely manipulated by a s fiancé and her family. If he wants to cut you out of his life while you're supporting him, then that means he's also

cutting off his support. Opie, you get zero out of five buttholes. I think that what you did here is completely reasonable. Your son, his fiancee and her family all get four out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for refusing to make my husband another cup of coffee after he purposefully dropped the first one? I'm a 26 year old woman, and my 31 year old husband woke up in a bad mood this morning and told me to make him a cup of coffee before he went to work. I went and made him a cup of coffee with extra sugar just like how he likes it, but when I handed it to him and he tasted it, he made a face and said that it was too sweet. I told him this is how he usually has it, but he wasn't in a good mood today and told me to go make him another one. Mind you, I was already 20 minutes late for work. I told him,

no, you've already got a cup of coffee, so just drink that one. Next thing I know, he accidentally dropped a cup of coffee on the floor and said, since he no longer has one, I should go ahead and make another one. I refused and we had an argument, and then I just walked out. He texted me a bunch later, saying that I disrespected him, and that I forced him to not have his daily coffee by acting stubborn and having an attitude. Then, he reminded me of how much work he had picked up and how much time and rest he had sacrificed to help me while I was recovering from the birth of our son, and that he had been

doing this for one whole week, and now it was my turn to pull my weight. He said that I owe him, and that I should have returned at least one of his many favors instead of deciding to ruin his day. I came home, and he's refusing to even look at me. Am I the butthole? Should I have just taken five minutes to make him another one? Okay, OP, I'm gonna answer by giving a brief story about my own relationship.

Early in my relationship with my wife, before we got married, she didn't have a driver's license. At the time, I worked from home and she didn't, so every morning I would drive her to work, and then in the afternoon, I would come pick her up. We did this for something like four months I think before she eventually got her driver's license and she could drive herself. Anyways, fast forward months later and there was something I wanted. I don't remember what it was, but what I told her was you should let me do this thing because I had driven you to your job so many times

and you owe me for it. And she said something like, Wow, you're really gonna hold that over me? That just invalidates all the nice things that you've been doing for me. And like in that exact moment, it suddenly clicked in my brain. Uh-huh, I understand. She's right. Relationship shouldn't be about like keeping tally of who owes who. Like, oh, I did a nice thing for you today.

So you owe me a nice thing tomorrow. And if you don't give it to me, I'm gonna be upset at you. Right? Because you just love the other person. So you should just do nice things for the other person out of the goodness of your heart. Your husband, OP, has not yet learned that lesson. He's a type of person who's still keeping a tally

over his relationship. And the worst thing about it is that a tally over his relationship. And the worst thing about it is that his tally is way off the mark. This guy thinks that him taking care of you while you're pregnant is worth more than you getting pregnant carrying the baby for nine months and then giving birth. To put it simply OP, your husband is controlling, manipulative, and selfish. I'm giving you zero out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your husband 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. I can't believe that he would treat his own white this

way right after she's given birth. Make your own cup of coffee, you douchebag! Am I the butthole for cancelling the family trip after I found out that my wife cancelled my son's tickets? I'm a 42 year old guy and I have two boys, Adam who's 16 and Leo who's 14. Their mom passed away about five years ago and I married my wife Rose about a year ago. Rose adores both of my boys, but she complains about Leo being overly uptight and closed off.

It is true that he likes to keep to himself. He doesn't participate in most family functions, but that's just how he is. My wife has taken this personally and keeps saying that Leo clearly doesn't like her and doesn't like spending time with her. What my wife has started doing was try to exclude Leo from events under the pretense of,

he wouldn't be interested anyways, which I thought was wrong because he picked up on that and started asking why. So I told my wife to just do her part and to let him decide whether or not he wants to come and not outright exclude him. I've been arranging a family trip and a few days ago I booked tickets and hotel reservations upon deciding our destination. Note that I'm the one paying for this entire thing.

However, the day of the trip I found out that Leo's ticket had been cancelled. I was dumbfounded to discover that it was my wife who cancelled it. I immediately confronted her, and she said that she figured Leo wouldn't want to come, but she knew that he said that he would go anyways. She tried to argue that, due to his moody personality and introverted nature, he'd change his mind last minute or go on the trip but turn it into a miserable experience for all of us. I got so mad at her, especially after she tried pressuring me to leave him with his aunt.

So I canceled the entire trip, all the tickets, all the reservations, everything. My wife blew up at me and started lashing out. I had the boys unpack their stuff and I did the same, which made her go crazy and yell at everyone in the house. She went to stay with her sister while exposing what I did to the rest of the family, who thought that I made a big deal out of it and I should have canceled the trip that I promised to the whole family. Oh my god. So first of all, you shouldn't have canceled the trip, which you should have done was change the tickets from Rose's name to your son's name. Like, let's be real

Opie, what'd you say up at the beginning? You said, hold on. You said, Rose adores both of my boys. Uh-uh. Nope. Not the case. I'm sorry, Opie, but if you really believe that, you're deluding yourself. Like, clearly, objectively, as plain as day, your wife does not like Leo. You bought a ticket for your son, and then she secretly went behind your back to cancel it without telling you or him. Opie, I'm really glad that you took your son's side because what she's doing to him is awful. In addition to her bullying a child, she's bullying a child who lost his mother, disgusting behavior. Oh, Pia, I'm giving you and Leo zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving

your wife three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for removing all of my fiance certificates from the wall after he took down my daughter's dog picture? I'm a 34 year old woman and my fiance is 36. I own the house that we currently live in, but after we moved in, he started helping out with the mortgage payments. I have a daughter, Ruby, who's 12, and she adores animals. Unfortunately, her dog, Tick, passed away. He was her closest friend and favorite pet. It was devastating for me as well because he was so precious. As a way to honor Tick,

I printed out Ruby's favorite picture of him, framed it, and hung it in the living room wall. Ruby was so happy with it, especially since she gets to see him smiling at her when she walks in. It gives her comfort. My fiance saw it and got upset. He commented on how strange it was

to have a dog's picture up on the wall and how much of a distraction it brings. I was puzzled because we have all kinds of pictures that were hanging on the wall. He suggested we remove it, but I ignored him. One day I got home and saw that he had taken down the picture. Ruby was in her room crying holding the picture. I asked her what happened, and she told me that my fiance took down the picture and that she's not happened, and she told me that my fiance took down the picture and that she's not allowed to hang it up there. He also told her to keep it in a room if she didn't want to lose it for good. I was shocked! I rushed out and immediately started taking down all of my fiance certificates that he had on his wall. His doctorate, his masters,

his bachelor's degree, and like four or five other certificates as well. I took down all of them and put them in the bedroom. He discovered what I did and snapped at me and said that it was his house as well and I should respect his input. I told him that since my daughter has to keep her picture in her room, then he also has to keep his certificates in his room. He yelled at me, demanding that I stop nagging him and acting

childishly and spitefully. He wanted to put his certificates back up, but I refused and said that if he does, then Tix picture goes up as well. He yelled about how he disrespected him in his achievements and treated them like trash and then stormed out. He's been giving both me and Ruby the cold shoulder for days now. He says that he won't speak to either of us until we apologize and put those certificates back up on the wall ourselves. Oh man, okay, I was like already to be like,

OP, you get zero out of five buttholes and this guy gets like two out of five buttholes because he's a hypocrite. But then you get to the last sentence where you say that he's been giving Ruby the cold shoulder for days now. Like, what did she do? She's not the one who put the picture up on the wall. OP was.

She's not the one who took the picture down either. The fiance did that. And also, she's not the one who took down the certificates. OP did that. So we have a poor little 12 year old girl who said that her dog died, who was completely 100% innocent in this entire ordeal. And this guy's giving her the cold shoulder, and that's just the pure unbeariness of the situation.

We haven't even gotten to the part where this guy threw away the picture of a grieving 12-year-old's dead dog. Oh, Pete, do you really want to marry this guy? Really? It's not even his house! Man, it's not even his house! Your daughter has more of a claim to the house than he does.

I mean, yeah, he's paying for the mortgage, which is nice and all. He is entitled to it some, but it's your house, man. Oh, what a douchebag. Opie, I'm giving you and your daughter a solid, zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your fiance, I think, four out of five buttholes, because I don't really know what's going on here, but it really feels like there's like a deeper, bigger issue because why is this guy getting so pissed off and so worked up over something that he has no right to even get upset about in the first place?

Like it's a picture of a dog who doesn't have a picture of their dog, man. I have a picture of my dead dog up on the wall. Not you though, by the way, you goes fine. You go as my current, happily, alive dog. I'm talking about my earlier dog, Trinity, who was a German shepherd. That was our slash of my The Butthole. And if you like this content,

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