rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Not Letting my Boyfriend Steal my House?

Episode Date: May 9, 2022

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Welcome to our slash amide the butthole, where OP calls the cops and her boyfriend's family. Will I be the butthole for calling the cops and my boyfriend after he let his brother and his family live in my holiday home without my permission? For context, I'm a 28 year old woman who inherited a holiday home from my grandma some time ago. I never really use it because it's roughly a five hour drive out from London where I live. It's relevant to the story that the keys to the holiday home are on the rack, with literally every other key to anything my boyfriend or I own. The holiday house has a security system hooked up to my phone, so when it detects someone on their property, cameras turn on, and I can see them from my phone.

My boyfriend's brother, who's 33, recently had his fourth child. Him and his wife currently live in a two-bit room apartment. So three days ago, they were both over at Maya, my boyfriend's house with all their kids, and we were talking about anything and everything, and I was holding the baby. My boyfriend's brother eventually mentioned how I have my holiday home, and how it has more than enough space for him and his wife to raise their four kids. My exact response was, yeah, but I'm not gonna let you live there, so he went quiet after that, and his wife started to collect their kids and their things, and they left about

10 minutes after. My boyfriend hasn't said anything to me about the conversation, yet I'm feeling bad about my response because I know they really do need the space. So fast forward to yesterday. I wake up for work and I realize my boyfriend isn't in bed with me, which is nothing out of the ordinary. He starts work at 8.30 a.m. When I'm finally about to walk out the door, I go to grab my keys and I notice the key to my holiday home is gone. I look around for them and I can't find them, so I call my boyfriend.

The first time he doesn't answer. The second time he doesn't answer. The third time he does. The conversation went, hey, have you seen my other house's keys? Yes, I have them. Cool, but why do you have them though? I grabbed them by accident.

I'll return them when I'm back from work. I thought everything would be fine, so I continued with my day and went on to work. Midway through my work day, I got a notification from my house's security system. I opened it to find my boyfriend, his brother, and his family all outside the door with a moving van in the back. I was fuming. When I got home, my boyfriend was already there, acting as if everything was normal. I started screaming at him, asking why the hell he'd move a family into MY house without MY permission. He tried to justify it, saying that he had to help his family, and it honestly just made

me more angry. I told him that we were over, and he has one day to get his brother and his family, and it honestly just made me more angry. I told him that we were over and he has one day to get his brother and his family out of my house, or I would call the cops on them for trespassing. This all happened yesterday about 14 hours ago. He hasn't called me or anything, but I fully intend to go through with my threats. But I know that they're struggling right now, So will I be the butthole for calling the cops? Okay, so to be super, super clear, you did nothing wrong here and your boyfriend is 100% wrong. Now that being said, I think that calling the cops right off the bat might

be a little bit extreme because we actually don't know at this point in the story what the brother-in-laws or what your boyfriend's brother's involvement is in this story, if anything. Like, it's very, very possible. Very plausible, actually. That your boyfriend just lied to them and told them that they're totally cool with it. And then they move in thinking, oh, sweet. So the girlfriend changed her mind and we're in the clear. And then, like, you know, they wake up the next day to the cops, banging on the door, telling them to get out. That's a little bit extreme. I would, at the bare minimum, call them up and be like, hey, just to be clear, you don't have my permission

to be in the house, you guys need to move out immediately. I'm giving you a day, or like 48 hours or whatever, and if you're not out by then, then I'm gonna call the cops. So that's the only way that I would give them. However, I do wanna point out that squatters laws are a thing, and you said they're in the UK, I don't know if they apply in the UK, They definitely apply in America But if people just live in a house for a certain period of time

Even if they like broke in and are living there illegally Then after a certain amount of time they have the right to just stay there And you have to start like a legal eviction process to get them out. So do not waste time here opi Because if they hit the magical threshold of like 30 days or 60 days or whatever it is Then getting them out of your house will be extremely difficult and then OP posted an update I called the cops a while ago about 30 minutes ago the cops came by and returned my keys and let them know the family had been told by them to leave At first they refused but eventually they packed up their things and left. My ex boyfriend, his brother, and his brother's wife had been blowing up my

phone asking why the hell I would put them in their children through this. I blocked them all. I feel absolutely terrible about what I did, and I know there was probably better ways to handle the situation. I even consider letting them stay after all, but I'm not sure if they would pay rent or anything. For the future, I plan consider letting them stay after all, but I'm not sure if they would pay rent or anything. For the future, I plan to rent out the home as many of you suggested, but I'm not sure how my ex-boyfriends family would take that. Honestly, OP, who cares how they would take that because they're your ex-boyfriends family. So they're right to have a say about what you do, and the second you dumped your boyfriend.P. you get a rock solid zero out of five but holes here.

Do not feel guilty. I'm giving you your boyfriend, let's say four out of five but holes because the amount of deception and theft going on, he was basically denying all the rent money that you could have gained just by trying to like pull the wool over your eyes and give his family free rent. And like, as for your brother and all's family, it's kind of hard to say. If they knew, then I give them four out of five buttholes as well. If they didn't know,

then I guess I'll give them like one out of five buttholes because yeah, they shouldn't be calling you up and being upset. But at the same time, you know, if I were in their shoes, if I were lied to by my brother and I were kicked out on the street and my kids suddenly didn't have a place to live, I'd be really, really emotional upset too.

And I'd probably lash out. It would be wrong to lash out, but, yeah, I don't know, variable butthole score. Four out of five buttholes if they knew, one out of five buttholes if they didn't know. Am I the butthole for laughing hysterically after my husband called me a housewife and embarrassing him in front of his coworkers?workers. My husband invited his new co-workers over for dinner. When they arrived,

he introduced me by gesturing at me and saying, this is Mrs. Smith. He didn't even say my first name. The housewife. I looked at him for a second, then I started laughing hysterically. I then said, no honey, I work full time and yes, I still act like a housewife when I'm at home because you simply can't bother to help. His co-workers were staring at him as he tried to laugh and change the subject and ask what they wanted to drink. Dinner was super awkward with him giving me looks and stairs. Once the guest left, he blew up saying that I embarrassed him laughing like a lunatic, and then making the comment that I made in front of his new co-workers and ruining his

image. I told him that he was wrong to lie about my status and deny my degree to begin with. He said that I could have talked to him about it privately later, but not like this and making his co-workers think that he's useless. He stormed off and he's been quiet the entire night. Was I out of line? Man, I feel like I'm reading a lot of stories recently of just terrible boyfriends, husbands,

and just dudes in general. Like, if you wanna feel tall and stroke your ego fine, but why do you have to do that by standing on the shoulders of women? Why do you have to put women down to make yourself feel good? Okay, so if you don't wanna be embarrassed in front of your co-workers, then maybe don't lie to your co-workers, huh?

Maybe don't act like a stupid misogynist, huh? Not only have I never introduced my wife as Mrs. Bailey, the thought, like the idea, has never even crossed my mind. Because she has a name, she's a person. Come on dude, come on man. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes, your reaction was completely natural. Your husband gets 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. What a doofus. Am I the butthole for evicting my sister and her daughters after they hid my wife's wig and embarrassed her? First of all, I want to start by mentioning that my wife

is a cancer patient. She unfortunately started losing her hair due to chemotherapy and she's been incredibly insecure about it, her lack of hair in particular. She got a wig and started wearing it. I don't mind it, I 100% support her since she only wears it around family and friends. My sister lost her apartment after a messy divorce, and she moved in with her twin daughters who were 16 almost a month ago. Things have been going well, except for my niece's constant remarks about my wife's wig. They got so hung up on it and kept asking lots of questions about it.

They asked to take turns to try it on, suggested they straighten it with their straightener and so on, which was exhausting. They even pressured my wife to see her without it, but my wife was uncomfortable and refused. Yesterday I got home and I found that my wife had locked herself in the bedroom, crying. I asked her what happened, and she told me that she woke up and she couldn't find her wig. Then she discovered that my niece's took it and hid it, then urged her to come out so they could see her without it. My wife repeatedly asked him to give it back,

but they started laughing and recorded the incidents. My wife had to lock the door to keep them away from her because they just wouldn't stop. I was fuming. I went to the kitchen and confronted them, and they acted confused, but I was able to get the wig back. I lashed out, telling them they humiliated my wife and embarrassed her by taking away her wig. They said it was just a light-hearted prank which made me go off on them. My sister got involved and said that my wife was just being too sensitive and the girls

were just curious to see her without a wig and she overreacted. I told my sister that her daughters were recording my wife. She saw nothing wrong with this and said that I overreacted as well. I later let them know that I was evicting them since they thought that I wasn't serious and they started crying, begging that I let it go. But my wife is no longer comfortable around them after what they did. My sister called our elderly dad and he begged that I let them stay and he insisted that my nieces were just acting like typical teenagers.

He offered to speak to my wife, but I declined. They've been begging that I change my mind, but I keep refusing. Am I the butthole? Honestly, OP, after the stories that I've been reading recently, this feels like a breath of fresh air. Finally, finally, a spouse who stands up for their partner. Like why are these so hard to find on our slash am I the butthole? This is not typical 16 year old behavior, by the way.

I was 16 once upon a time, and when I was 16, I sure as hell didn't mock crying cancer patients. That's not teenager behavior, that's bully behavior. If I were in your shoes OP, I would have done the exact same thing. I would have kicked him out. So you and your wife could zero out of five buttholes. Your sister and her daughter get three out of five buttholes. Who mocks cancer patients?

In my opinion, if they're really sorry and they win a proof just how sorry they are, then they can shave their heads. Then just maybe I would consider letting them back inside. Am I the buttle for telling my brother-in-law that I wouldn't sleep with him even if my life depended on it in front of his family and friends? I'm a 24 year old woman, and I got proposed to two months ago. My fiance, Jacks, who's 28, has a younger brother Jacob, who's 23, who I went to college

with. When I was in college, I slept around a lot, and I was pretty known for that. My fiance knew this, and so did his brother. Jacob is a bit of a jokester, so he likes to bring it up frequently at family gatherings, birthdays, holidays, etc. My fiance and his family often told him to stop when they saw that I was uncomfortable with it. Last night it was Jay-Cob's birthday dinner.

Me, my fiance, a lot of his friends and a few younger family members were there. Jay-Cob started getting more drunk and started cracking unfunny jokes. Some included him saying how he was surprised that I never took the chance to sleep with him in college. Being fed up in a little bit drunk myself, I told him that I wouldn't sleep with him if my life depended on it. He got pissed and became silent. The dinner was awkward for the rest of the time.

My fiance and some of his family said that I didn't do anything wrong, and they've even been waiting for me to tell him that. This morning, I woke up to text from Jacob's friends telling me I'm a whore and a B word. I don't think I did anything wrong, but my friend requested that I post this on here to get outside opinions. Down in the comments, Nixie does says exactly what I was thinking. Not the butthole. He's just mad because you didn't sleep with him.

Yeah, I agree. This is giving like kinda in-cell vibes. Also, when you crack jokes at someone, you're honestly opening the door for them to crack jokes at you too, right? So it's okay for him to dish out the jokes, but he can't handle jokes being dished out at him? Pathetic. O.P., you could zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your brother-in-law two out of five buttholes. Honestly, he had it coming. Am I the butthole for throwing out my husband's dinner after he went to eat at his mom's

house? My mother-in-law calls every night to ask what we're having for dinner. Then she brags about what she's cooking to make me look bad, especially if we're getting take-out. I used to care, but not anymore. But my husband would ask me to make dinner only for him to go eat the dinner his mom makes at her home, which is 10 minutes away and using, it's my favorite meal as an excuse. Yesterday, I wanted to surprise him by cooking one of his favorite meals, and even though I was busy, I took time off work to cook. I even went grocery shopping to get what I needed. Later, as I was setting the table, his mom called, and I told him he didn't have to answer, but he did.

Like usual, she asked what we were having, but then acted surprised that I cooked this meal. She then went on to tell him that she cooked eggs meal and told him to come over. He said okay, which shocked me. I said seriously as he started getting dressed to leave. He told me no offense, but the meal my mom cooked is even more of my favorite meal than the one that you cooked.

Then he grabbed his keys and left. I felt awful. I took his plate and threw it out and then ate my portion. As I was about to put the plate in the dishwasher, he got home looking angry, saying that his mom lied about cooking that favorite meal, and he used it as an excuse to force him to eat dinner with her. I was shocked, but he sat down telling me to go ahead and reheat dinner. I told him there was no dinner because after he abandoned it, I threw it out.

He said, what? I told him he disrespected my time and effort when he chose to go eat with his mom instead. He began yelling at me, asking if I really did that, then called me petty and horrible. Then went upstairs, saying that what I did was a hundred times worse than what his mom did. I definitely feel like I let my anger and frustration get the best of me, but it really felt unbearable having to live like this for so long. By the way, I'm 26 and he's 28. Wow OP, your mother-in-law is super toxic. She's actively trying to sabotage your relationship with her husband because

why she's jealous, I guess. And then what's worse, your husband is letting her do it. The thing I can't figure out is, okay, even if the mom cooks a meal, why doesn't at the bare minimum your husband invite you along with him? He really abandoned you almost every single night to go eat with his mommy and just leaves you alone at the end of the day? O.P., you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. What you did was definitely not worse than what the mom did.

I'm giving your husband and your mother-in-law 2 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my the butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.