rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Not Letting My Bro-in-Law Watch Me Pee?

Episode Date: October 10, 2022

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Welcome to our slash Am I the butthole where O.P.'s brother-in-law keeps trying to sneak a peek at her in the shower? Am I the butthole for installing a lock on my bathroom door after my brother-in-law kept barging in? I'm a 25 year old woman and my husband is 30. My 33 year old brother-in-law moved in with us after his divorce a few weeks ago. The problem I have is that he started barging into the bathroom whenever I'm using it. He never knocks or anything. Another thing is that he only does this when it's me in the bathroom, not his brother. I told my husband about this, but he laughed it off and called me paranoid. It was embarrassing because his brother would see me exposed and it made me uncomfortable.

My husband said that he spoke to his brother and his brother apologized, but he did it again. When my husband and I got married, we promised to not have locks or lock each other out of any room. So as a result, our bathroom doesn't have a lock. I was really considering getting a lock, and I let my husband know that if his brother walks in on me in the bathroom one more time, then a lock will instantly be installed. He didn't say anything. Well, yesterday, my brother-in-law walked in on me showering. He knew that I would be in the shower, but he barged in any way claiming that he had to pee. I had enough, so I went out, got a lock,

and installed it. My husband got home, saw the lock and blew up on me, saying that I violated our agreement, and that I went against his wishes being uncomfortable with locks in the house. He demanded I remove it, and he promised and guaranteed that his brother won't walk in on me again, but I refused. He's been pissed about it since then, and is giving me the silent treatment. And then OP posted an update. So my husband came home and I told him the lock won't be removed until his brother leaves and his reaction was to try to remove the lock himself and tell me to quit acting childishly. So I didn't shout or scream, but I packed a bag to go to my mom's house for the next few days or until this gets resolved somehow. On the way out, I saw my brother-in-law and the driveway smoking.

He knew what the argument between me and my husband was about. But instead of stepping up to fix it, he offered to take me to my mom's house saying that my husband could use some space for me. This made me cry the whole Uber ride to my mom's house. The reason that I feel offended is because my brother-in-law tends to be hurtful when he talks about others. I did everything I could to win his approval, but he thinks less of me, and he thinks that I'm childish just like my husband says. All right, I've got a wife, and I've got a brother, so it's very, very easy for me to put

myself in the husband's shoes, and this husband is completely out of line ear. If my brother who lived with us because of some, you know, unfortunate circumstances kept walking and on my wife in the bathroom, we would immediately have a sit down conversation. If he continued to walk in on my wife in the bathroom after that conversation, then sorry, bro, I love you to pieces, but get the fuck out of my home. And it's like really disgusting and hypocritical that it's okay for your husband to set boundaries. That boundary is, I don't wanna lock on any door in the house. But it's not okay for you to set boundary, and your boundary is, I don't want people,

I'm not married to to walk in on me while I'm, you know, pinching off a turd or showering. Which to me feels pretty reasonable because I don't want people watching me take a dump. And what's really messed up about this whole thing is that your brother-in-law is literally watching your marriage with your husband fall apart. He's watching his own brother's marriage fall apart, and his response is to be like, wow, if only someone could have done something to stop this.

Dude, just knock! That's all you gotta do to save your brother's marriage. Knock on the bathroom door, but this guy is so disrespectful, so inconsiderate that he's not even willing to do that to help his brother and his sister-in-law out. Opie, your husband is a controlling douchebag and your brother-in-law is a pervert.

I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes and I'm giving both of them 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for canceling the entire trip after finding out that my husband hid my daughter's passport? My husband and I have been together for 3 years. He has 3 kids from a previous relationship and I have one. My daughter is the oldest at 17. My husband is a dedicated man.

He puts God first and loves everyone. My husband always complains that my daughter doesn't spend time with her step siblings or him, but she has reasons for that. School, health issues, and work. She does her best to spend as much time with them as she can. But she, on the other hand, complains that her stepdad tells her to basically take the role of babysitter whenever she's with her step siblings. My husband denied that and said that my daughter was making up excuses to not have to spend time with his kids.

To address this issue, I figured that we needed a family trip to get together and spend more time around each other. My husband liked that idea, but he said that his kids are now uncomfortable around my daughter because of her attitude. And he suggested that we let her stay home and have the house all to herself, since that's what she always wanted. I told him it's best that we all go. He kept complaining until I snapped and told him to stop. I booked and paid for the whole family. However, my daughter told me that she couldn't find her passports. We turned the house upside down looking for it, but we couldn't find it. My husband said that maybe it was a sign from

God that we should let her stay home so the trip wouldn't turn into a disaster. I ignored his comment, but later, while I was cleaning his office, I found her passport tucked away into the third door under a ton of papers. I was floored by this. I confronted him with it and he swore that he had no idea why or how the passport got there, but I checked the upstairs camera and I saw him enter my daughter's room. That was it for me. I screamed my head off at him and then canceled the whole trip completely. He started arguing, saying that I overreacted and that he didn't want his kids to be miserable on the trip, and that he was willing to apologize to my daughter,

if and when I reconsider my decision regarding canceling the trip. Because his kids would be devastated, but I said it was final and that it was done. He became cold and distant, and said that he wants to take some time to fast and get guidance from God about how he should deal with the disrespect that I displayed lately. Am I the butthole for canceling it all together? Well, um, let me think. Should you have canceled the entire trip? Well, you're certainly justified in doing it, but I think the real solution, OP, would be to cancel your husband's ticket. I mean, your husband's kind of right. Why should his kids be punished

just because he's a terrible father? I think you, your daughter and your stepkids going off to vacation without your husband would have been just what the doctor ordered. Also, I can't help but point out the outright lie that your husband said that your daughter actually doesn't want to go and she wants to have the house to herself.

So therefore, he sabotaged her, but then, but then your daughter helped you turn the house upside down, which shows that she clearly does want to go. So when he saw your daughter desperately searching for the passport, that should have told him, oh, so she does want to go. In that case, I'll give her the passport. I mean, obviously it doesn't matter because he's lying. He's saying this because he doesn't want your daughter to go. But I'm just pointing out that based on his own words, clearly he's lying. Um, okay OP, uh, how do I say this? You seem like a good mother, okay? I don't

I don't want to like come at you too hard and scare you off here because this is this is real advice I'm giving you here. You said this sentence, he's a dedicated man, puts God first and loves everyone. That's um, that's a lie OP. That's a lie. I don't know if he's lied to you and he's made you believe it or if you're lying to yourself and you're making yourself believe it. But first off, you say he's a dedicated man. No, not dedicated to his family because he's intentionally sabotaging his stepdaughter

so he doesn't have to spend time with him. He doesn't put God first, he puts himself first, and he sure is how doesn't love everyone because he doesn't love your daughter at all. OP, I think you're seriously underestimating just how controlling and manipulative your husband is. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm also giving your daughter zero out of five buttholes. School, health issues, and work sounds like a lot for any 17-year-olds, so I know Blamer if she's too busy to spend a lot of time with her siblings and her stepdad. Your husband, however, gets 3.5 out of five buttholes. The gaslighting, lies, manipulation, and I think God sent you a message that we should abandon your daughter at home are all huge red flags in my opinion.

Oh man, I completely forgot about that story. He intentionally lied and then he used God to try to excuse his lie. I think this is a sign from God that it just wasn't meant to be sweetie. This is like punching your wife in the face and being like, I think God is telling you that you need to shut the f*** up. Am I the butthole for telling my former friend, turn sister-in-law, that I'm never going to be your comfort person again? I'm a 25 year old guy, and I used to have the biggest crush on my childhood friend, Emily,

who's 26. As a teen, I wasn't very assertive and I was a little awkward, so I never made a move, and I just hope that one day Emily would realize that I was the guy for her. The only person who I openly admitted my crush to, although it was kind of obvious, was my brother, Liam, who's 28. He was much more assertive and confident than I was, and would run through girls like water, so I went to him for advice about Emily. Given the situation at the time, you can imagine my surprise when I caught Liam and Emily hooking up. I know that she technically was never my girlfriend, but it's

still sucked and I did feel betrayed. It turns out that they hooked up at a party once, and they liked the encounter so much that they kept meeting up to do it when no one was around. I felt completely sick and basically just distance myself from Emily after that, which could be really awkward because we had a lot of classes together and had the same shift at the part-time job that we had. A job that Emily frequently depended on me to give her rides to. I just wanted to remove Emily from my life completely, but during the summer of our senior year, she and Liam sat me in my parents' down and explained that Emily had gotten pregnant and were planning on keeping the baby. My parents weren't happy about this while I just got up and locked myself in my room.

All I could think was, well, crap, now she's never going to go away. I purposefully transferred to an out-of-state college so I wouldn't be home as much. And I lied about getting stuck in traffic when I missed Emily and Liam's wedding. And I showed no interest in my niece, Daisy, who's eight. Although I still make the effort to be polite when I'm around them. Recently, Emily's father has passed away

and she's really going through it because despite her father not being around, she's always desired a relationship with him. When we were kids, I remember all those times that I was a shoulder for Emily to cry on whenever she felt sad about her dad, and I guess she was longing for that type of comfort from me and she kept reaching out. One day, I relented and let her vent, but I maintained a silent and formal demeanor on the matter. After she spent about an hour crying, I offered Emily some water, and then she asked me why I was being so cold. How I know how much she needed a friend right now.

I calmly, yet firmly told her that we were just kids then, and that if she wants that level of emotional intimacy, then she needs to go to my brother, her husband, because I stop being her comfort person a long time ago. Emily cried even more and then left. She sent Liam, my parents, Emily's mom, and mutual friends to call me up and tell me that I'm heartless and sad for being so spiteful. I can honestly say that I'm now over Emily, but that doesn't mean that I'm willing to be as close to her as I used to be, so am I the butthole? Down in the comments, I'm going to read this reply from agreeable celery. You had a crush on a girl in high school, but never asked her out.

Then somebody else did and she married them. It's a decade later and you still ignore her kid, who is literally your niece because you're salty about it. Dude, this is not healthy. Please get help. I have to put your the butthole, but like, this is beyond our slash in my the butthole. Yeah, OP, like, the start of this post was really in-celly, like, you're basing your friendship on this girl entirely on the expectation that she would eventually realize how perfect you are and she would want to date you, I guess.

But like, the fact that you're still this upset about it, 10 years later, and you don't even have a relationship with your niece, who's innocent because of your non-existent relationship with her mom, that's just a little messed up. I'm giving Emily zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving OP three out of five buttholes for his toxic attitude and for kicking Emily while she was down. I'm also giving OP's brother 2 out of 5 buttholes because how hard is it to not sleep with a girl that your brother has a crush on?

I know some people are probably going to disagree with me on the brother score, but I have a very very close relationship with my brother and I kind of hold that relationship sacred, so if my brother said that he had a crush on that girl, then that girl would be completely off limits for me forever for the rest of my life. That's just kind of how I'm wired, so if you disagree, I respect it, but me personally, I'm giving him two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for literally showing my dad how he behaves every day when he gets home from work? I'm a 14-year-old girl. My father, who's 46, is the breadwinner while my mom is a stay at home mom. She handles everything around the house, like cooking, mopping, washing,

laundry, etc. I'm the oldest child and I try to help out, but really there's only so much I can do while my dad just gets home at the end of the day and literally complains about everything, like how the carpet isn't clean or how the food is cold. As a result, I have to listen to a huge argument every day between him and my mom. It's exhausting, but honestly, I think that my dad is in the wrong here. I try talking to him to get him to see how his behavior is, but to no avail. So what I did was I picked a day that he had off work and I pretended to act like him. I put together an outfit that looked like a suit and put black tape over my lips

to look like a mustache. At 6 p.m. I went into the house and shouted, I'm home! Then I sat next to him in the living room and started kicking my shoes off while complaining about the state of the house at the top of my lungs. He glanced at me confused, asking what I was doing. I ignored him and started yelling about the carpet being dirty, the shower not being ready, the kids needing to be quiet, and so on. He kept staring at me while my mom and my siblings laughed. My youngest brother kept pointing towards me saying, this is daddy! I then proceeded to yell about dinner, then berated my mom for not preparing it before time. My dad stopped me in a serious tone and asked me what I was doing.

I turned to him and said, what can a man effing rest after working long hours and the most macho voice I could muster? My dad got the hint because this was a common phrase that he uses daily. He went quiet and avoided looking at me. I stopped the act and I told him I was trying to show him what he's like every day when he comes home from work. He said nothing, just went outside and refused to speak to me. Later he went on about how I mocked him and invalidated him. That he does hard work and me doing this was disrespectful and invalidating.

Mom said that it was funny, but also thought that I hurt my dad's feeling, and I could have gotten the message across some other way instead. Am I the butthole? Okay, this is actually something that I think about a lot, because it's something that I'm kind of like keenly aware of because of my profession. Right now, my wife is working as a stay-at-home mom so she can take care of her kid. But like, one of the really unfair dynamics about having one person work and having one person stay-at-home is that the person who works is fully aware

of what the person who stays at home does every day. Because you see the dishes, you see the food they cook, you see if the baby is taking care of, you literally see the work they do and the work they don't do. However, the person who goes off to work, you have no idea what they're doing every day. You have absolutely no clue. So it creates this really unfair dynamic where only the person who goes out to work has the

opportunity to criticize the other person's work. But like, YouTubers are in this really weird spot where our work is super, super public and really easily accessible. And there's like a reason why there's always drama about YouTubers and YouTubers have to apologize and have these tearful apologies is because everyone screws up at work. But because the work of a YouTuber is so public and accessible to everybody, then it's really obvious when they screw up so they have to end up apologizing all the time. I know people say that it's really cringey

when I talk about being a YouTuber. It's just, this is something I think about a lot because literally if my wife wants to see what I'm doing at my job, she can just go to YouTube and see. And that's really, really, really rare. And so like sometimes I imagine what it would be like if stay-at- home wives could literally follow their

husbands around all day, or stay at home dads, follow their wives around all day, whatever. And I wonder how the dynamic would change, right? Like with a stay at home partner, be like, you know, you really should do such and such work now so you don't have to do it later. Or why don't you do that work early, that way you can ask your boss to go home early and spend time with the family. Or like, have you tried doing work in this way because it might help you get a promotion? Right? Like, if your partner could see what you did every single day, then inevitably they

would start offering suggestions, which would come off as nagging, which would piss you off, and you'd be in the exact same situation that this dad is with the wife. So, I don't know, I'm kind of rambly here. This is just something I think about a lot because I can see my wife's work and she can see my work. And I mean, you guys can see my work. And it creates this kind of weird dynamic where you're super, super accountable because every single mistake you make is really, really obvious. So I really sympathize with the mom here. OP, your dad is a selfish douchebag. I think you were completely justified in holding a mirror up to his behavior. O.P., I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes.

I'm giving your dad 2 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.