rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Not Letting My Husband Steal $14,000 from Me?

Episode Date: October 1, 2022

Get Honey FREE at http://joinhoney.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to our slash, Am I the butthole, where OPs husband tries to steal $14,000 from her under very suspicious circumstances. Today's episode is sponsored by Honey. We all shop online, every single one of us. So you all know what I'm talking about when I say there's that little promo code field taunting you at checkout. Don't you just hate to leave it empty? Well, with Honey, you never have to leave it empty. Honey is a free browser extension that automatically applies the best promo codes to your cart. Honey supports over 30,000 stores and has saved over 2 billion dollars for users. When I recently purchased a new mouse from my computer, Honey saved me a few bucks and it cost me nothing. Basically, when you're shopping online, all you have

to do is click the Apply Coupons button and Honey will automatically search for the best coupon and apply them to your order. If you don't already have honey, you could be straight up missing out on free savings. It's literally free and installs in a few seconds. And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting this podcast. Get honey for free at joinhoney.com slash rslash. That's joinhoney.com slash rslash. Am I the butthole for refusing to let my husband pull $14,000 out of my account without signing a contract? I'm a 36 year old woman, and I've been married to my husband, who's 42 for two years.

I've never been married before him, but he was married twice and has six kids. He requested that our finances be split, which is fine by me, because seeing how he blows through his money is so frustrating. He says that he has kids, commitments, and has to provide, but I don't think that kids would need that much money to live like the other kids. His bank account is almost always empty, whereas mine has over $20,000. We take turns paying for daily expenses and stuff. Lately, he's been struggling with money. He borrowed from a number of people, including my own brother, about $4,000 from him just a week ago. He just seemed desperate for money. I asked him

what the deal was, and he said that he needed the money for the kids, which seemed fishy since the kids don't really need that much money for their expenses. The oldest is 16. So he asked a borrow $14,000 from me. He wants to pull the money for my account and put it into his. I tried asking him what he needed the money for, but he said that it was none of my business. Then he insisted that he would return the money ASAP. I said okay, but only under the condition that he would sign a contract stating that he would return the money in full. He acted all shocked and offended, then went on about how I don't trust him in his word. I told him that was my one and only condition. He kept ranting about how I'm refusing to help and making the situation more difficult

for him instead of cooperating. I insisted on a contract to be signed before he even gets a penny from me. And this morning when I told him this one more time, he blew up and said that we're family and that I should be ashamed for involving courts and lawyers between family. He left the house and was so upset that he hasn't responded to any of my calls yet. Am I the butthole for standing my ground with this condition? Then OP posted an update. I tried talking to him after he got home and when I tried pressing him to tell me what he needs the money for, he gave me the same attitude

and said, you don't have to worry about it. I still stood by my condition and he called me effing useless. Then he stormed off to spend the night doing who knows what? All right, OP, um, something's fishy here. I don't know exactly what's going on, but this sounds and feels like the behavior of someone with an addiction.

Either drugs or gambling or prostitution, whatever. Like this guy burned through what $4,000 in one week. That's like $800 a day. And now he needs $14,000 for what? For what? Man, if you go to a bank and you went alone, you can't just be like, dear Mr. Bank person, please give me $100,000. I'm not gonna tell you what it's for, but I promise you you get it back eventually. Nah man, nah. Of course the bank is gonna ask what it's for, because if it's for something stupid,

they'll never see their money again. So if a bank has that requirement, it's perfectly reasonable for you to have that requirements as well. This, if I had to guess, this feels like gambling. Because if this guy is using $4,000 worth of drugs in one week, then you would definitely notice it in his behavior. This gotta be crazily tweaked out. But slot machines, you can burn through $4,000 on the slot super fast.

So I think this guy probably has a gambling addiction. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your husband 2.5 out of five buttholes. Part of me wants to give him a harsher score, but to be honest, I think your husband is sick, OP. In my opinion, your two options from here are to either cut him off or fight for him to get better. Am I the butthole for getting my aunt and uncle

kicked out of their house for not letting my husband and I sleep together? I'm a 27 year old man and I'm married to a 28 year old man. He's the love of my life. I'd only ever dated women before him, but when I met him, I realized I was by, and we fell in love. We got married in the fall of 2018, so it's been almost four years.

We now live in Vermont. My whole family is from a small town in Texas, a super conservative Catholic area. I was raised there, but my dad got a job in New York City when I was 15. The culture shock was difficult. We went from living in rural Texas to living in an apartment in Manhattan. My parents didn't sell our house in Texas. Instead, they allowed our aunt and uncle, who had just had their third child to move in while charging them a small rent. In college, when I came out as

by, my brother and dad were very supportive. My mom needed some time to accept. The rest of my family reacted poorly at first, but never came around. During visits, we stayed with my aunt and uncle at my old house, but because we weren't married we weren't allowed to share a bed. We didn't argue we would both rather keep the peace. Ever since I came out as bi, instead of staying with my aunt and uncle we would rent a motel room. During COVID we didn't visit them, but this summer my parents and brother decided to go visit my hometown again for two weeks and they invited my husband and I. I wanted to get a motel room again, but my aunt and uncle insisted that my brother or husband and I stay with them. The first night sleeping situation was being discussed

after my cousins went to bed. My aunt and uncle wanted me and my brother to take the spare room and my husband to take the couch. All three of us took issue with that. They snapped that were not really married because we're gay and that they have kids in the house. They said that it would be a bad influence on their kids. This hurt my husband's feelings and he started crying and ran out of the room. When my husband ran out, my uncle had the audacity to start laughing. That's when I saw a red. I started cussing

them out so loudly that my young cousins came to investigate. I told them that if they don't go apologize to my husband immediately, then I was going to tell my dad what just happened. And I was going to make sure to have them kicked out of the house that was still in my parents' name. My brother backed me up on everything that I was saying. They started backtracking, saying that we were still welcome in their house, but we had to follow their rules. I responded that it wasn't really their house. I told them that if I had it my way, they would be homeless. Their kids started crying because they heard me say that they were all going to be homeless,

so we left. My husband was on the porch crying, and I promised him that I would never subject him to that again. I told my dad what happened, and to say that my dad was angry would be an understatement. He served them a 60-day eviction notice. I've been getting calls, texts, and Facebook messages from my family calling me a butthole. I want to know, am I the butthole for allowing my young cousins to end up homeless? Is it fair that they have to pay for what my aunt and uncle said to me and my husband?

Okay, so this story's kinda strange because really, you're not actually involved in what happened here. Like, yeah, they were mean to you and you told your dad, but this is your dad's decision, right? He's the one who owns the house. He's the one who evicted your uncle and aunt. So, if they should be mad at anyone, they should be mad at him, not you. The only thing that you did OP is tell your dad what happened. So, as far as I'm concerned, you get a super easy zero out of five buttholes. You defended your husband and told your father what happened to you, which is a very, very

reasonable thing to do. Also, I'm giving your dad zero out of five buttholes. I know blame him in the slightest for kicking your aunt and uncle out. Your aunt and uncle, however, get three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for publicly humiliating my mom? I'm a 24-year-old woman and I have I have a half brother, Ethan, who's 17. When I was 16, our mother married her new husband and she now has two kids with him. Ethan's father isn't in his life, so he stays with them full time.

But I spend more time with my dad and his family because I just get along with them better. I love my mom, but she can be a bit much sometimes, so I rarely see her. Ethan and I text occasionally. It was my mother's birthday a few days ago, and while I was visiting, I noticed that Ethan and my newborn half sibling weren't around. I asked my mom where they were, and she said that she asked Ethan to check up on the baby while she took a break. By the way, we were all in the backyard, which is a huge backyard. But sometime later, I still couldn't find Ethan, so I went to Ethan's room and he's rocking the baby while she's inconsolable, and he's crying too because the baby won't stop crying. There were diapers and baby formula everywhere, and he was saying that he tried

everything, but she just wouldn't stop crying. Somehow, I managed to calm them both down, and I asked Ethan why he didn't just call someone for help. He said that he's usually really good at this, and mom makes him take care of the baby all the time, so he just panicked. He then told me that he helped out with our other half-sister when she was a baby as well, and still takes care of her. I was really upset. I mean, yeah, there's nothing wrong with needing a break, but Ethan's a 17 year old boy. He's not a father or a mother, but apparently he takes care of our half siblings more than our mom and stepdad does. I walked up to my mom while she was talking to a group of people and basically told her that I can't believe she's dumping all her responsibilities on Ethan.

She knew what I was talking about immediately and told me to relax, and that Ethan likes it blah blah blah. I told her that while she was out here having a blast, her son was sobbing in his room because of how overwhelmed he was. She got really red, and everyone went silent, which was awkward, but yeah. I later got a call from my mom saying that she respects my opinions on this situation, but that I didn't need to publicly humiliate her in front of her friends and co-workers. Apparently, her boss was there too, and he's being very cold to her.

I don't know, I just can't get Ethan out of my head. Am I the butthole? Opie, let's be clear. You don't know, I just can't get Ethan out of my head. Am I the butthole? OP, let's be clear, you didn't embarrass your mother. Your mother embarrassed your mother. What's actually going on here is she's being a bad mom and you're being a good sister. OP, you and Ethan get zero out of five buttholes. Your mother gets 2.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for tricking my husband into eating the food that I cooked him by making him think that his mom sent it? My husband, Mickey,

loves his mom's cooking. He always praises her for the food that she makes, and even mentioned it in his groom's speech at the wedding. I consider myself a good cook. In fact, I'll just say it, I'm an even better cook than his mom. But the problem is, he doesn't even want to try my cooking or give me a chance to prove it. I thought this would change after marriage, but five months later, nothing's changed. So, what is he eat if he's not eating what I'm cooking, you ask? He's requested that his mom send some amoeil every day to eat for dinner after getting off work, except for the weekend where we go over to her house and he eats breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert there.

Every single day, he comes home and asks of his mom sent him a meal. I grew irritated of this, and whenever I tried to offer him to taste any of the food that I cooked, he would just lay in bed and say that he's full. So I came up with an idea. I cooked him the same meal that his mom sent him that day and put it aside until he got home. He asked if his mom sent him a meal for dinner. I said

yes and served him my version of the meal, not hers. He didn't notice anything different. He ate the whole thing with no hesitation while I sat across from him asking him questions about how good the meal was. He went on and on praising it, saying how perfect exceptional it was, how it was just what he needed after a long day at work. I smiled and said, you're welcome. He froze and looked at me for a minute. He looked down at the plate, then back at me and said, wait, you made this, didn't you? I said, with my own hands and from scratch. His face suddenly went red and he got upset

and said this was not cool. I told him that he never even gave me a chance to show him how good my cooking is and that he's probably just used to his mom's cooking and he's rejecting all other alternatives, which is just unfair to me. He said that I shouldn't have lied to him, and basically tricked him into eating food that he had no idea where it came from.

I said that he liked it, and he admitted that it was good, so what's the issue? He got up from his seat, threw the napkin, said that I was unbelievable, and walked out. He got quiet the rest of the evening, then posted about it on his Facebook and a vague post about being tricked into eating someone else's food like that. I felt guilty and bad, thinking maybe I really shouldn't have done this, but I was frustrated with how he kept turning down every meal that I tried to cook him and then say, no things, I prefer mom's food. Am I the butthole? What? Huh? Opie, why'd you marry this guy? This guy literally won't eat a single bite of food

that you cook him, and he has mommy make him a meal every single day and you're like, yep, that's the guy I want to marry. And also, one thing that's kind of unclear, so I don't want to speculate on it too much, but the way this is written, it sounds like the mother only makes a meal for him, that she never makes any extra so that OP can eat too. And if that's true, then not only is your husband disrespecting you, but your mother-in-law is too. This story, this is just bizarre OP. This is...

Your husband's weird. Okay, OP, please divorce this guy. You're only like five months in, so you haven't really invested too much. Just move on. This guy is a pathetic mama's boy who needs to cut the imbiblical cord. And like, besides, what's he gonna do when his mom dies? Just starve to death, I guess? OP, you get zero out of five buttholes.

Your husband gets two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for saying that I won't coddle my infertile sister anymore? My sister, Julie, has tried to have a baby for 5 years. She had a miscarriage 2 years ago, and outside of that has been unable to get pregnant. My heart hurts for her. However, one thing that I don't agree with is how my family has handled it. We're just not allowed to talk about babies around Julie. Any kids younger than three can't come to family events that she's going to attend.

She won a 10 baby showers, baptisms, etc. That last one I understand, but the rest feels like overkill. I got pregnant last year. Julie was the first person I told about it, and she reiterated her boundaries. I said that I understood. The first hurdle came with my baby shower. My mother-in-law was throwing it, and I didn't expect Julie to come. Then my mom told me that I shouldn't have a baby shower, period out of respect. I said that was ridiculous. She didn't have to come, so why did it matter?

Only three people from my side of the family came to the shower. When my son was born, I posted a birth announcement on Facebook. My parents lectured me for this and said that it was going to hurt Julie. I said that she could just block or mute me. They said that I should make the effort. Julie echoed that, if I cared, I'd stop. I ended up blocking her just to save drama. My aunt's 70th birthday party is next week.

My husband and I plan to go bringing our son. Julie called and asked if we were going. She then asked for me to get a sitter for our son. I said no. Julie doesn't want to miss the party. My aunt is one of the few people who agree that Julie's boundaries aren't fair and she wants my son there because she doesn't get to see him often. Julie got upset and started crying, saying that I was unfair.

I finally snapped and asked what would happen when she got pregnant. Would we all be expected to shower her with 11 attention that she refused to give other people's kids? Will her baby be allowed to attend events? She said that was different. I said no, I am not coddling her anymore. My son exists, he's family, and he's coming. She can decide if she wants to come or not.

My parents yelled at me for being mean to Julie. They offered to pay for a sitter, but I said no. It's not even Julie's house. Am I the butthole? Yeah, OP, I'm on your side. There's nothing wrong with placing boundaries, but her boundaries are way too big. It's like she crossed over your boundaries to draw her boundary within your boundaries. Also, the point that you brought up about her child totally makes sense. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. While I do sympathize with Julie, she's taking this too far, so I'm

giving her 1.5 out of five buttholes. That was our slash in my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.