rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Refusing to Give My Boyfriend All My Money?

Episode Date: July 19, 2022

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Welcome to R-Slash, Am I the Butthole where Karen tries to kick people off of an entire beach? Am I the Butthole for not winning strangers in the background of my wedding picks? I'm a 24 year old woman and I recently had my wedding on the beach of a beautiful hotel in Cancun. Many of my friends and family could go so I was really happy. The only problem was during our ceremony there were people in the sea playing or doing jet ski activities. It really bothered me because they would appear in the background of my photos, so I told my wedding planner about it.

She was very understanding and said that she would fix it. When she talked to the people who were playing in the ocean, we expected them to be kind and nice, but they just declined and continued. I even took the time to go myself and ask them to stop, but they didn't care. I was about to go and tell someone from the hotel, but my husband stopped me and told me that it would be a butthole thing to do. I told him that I'm standing up for myself, so it wasn't a butthole thing to do. I went to go look for hotel staff, but they said there was nothing they could do. When I returned, my husband was moody, and I wonder if it was really the butthole thing

to do. Am I the butthole? Oh, P. Oh my God. During your own wedding, you went to go talk to the manager, and you tried to ruin someone else's vacation. You are truly a Karen among Karen's. Lady, this is your wedding day. You should be smiling and having fun and drinking champagne and kissing your husband

and not worrying about strangers and talking to managers. My God, you're a Karen! Also, OP, if you don't want strangers around your wedding, then why do you have your wedding in a public location? It's really simple. If you want to have a private wedding on a beach, then pay for a private beach. You don't own the entire ocean and the entire beach just because you're having a wedding there, lady. Down in the comments to Doku says,

Info, did you rent out the entire sea? Opie, stop being such a Karen. I feel sorry for your husband. I'm giving you three out of five buttles. I'm giving everyone else zero out of five buttholes. And to be clear OP, don't be confused by what the wedding planner did. Of course the wedding planner is gonna have your back because you're paying her. Am I the butthole for leaving my in-laws house with my daughter after she told me that she was feeling uncomfortable? I'm a 37 year old man and I've been with my fiance who's 37 for two years. We're getting married soon and I've only met her family a couple of times. My daughter, Judy, is 16, and she's never met them until very recently where they hosted

a dinner to celebrate the 4th of July, and that's when they met her for the first time. Judy has a visible burn scar on her forehead. It was due to an accident when she was 9. She used to be really insecure about it, to the point where I was forced to an accident when she was 9. She used to be really insecure about it, to the point where I was forced to homeschool her, and it was hard trying to deal with and navigate through this rough time. Now she's doing a lot better, although some comments can really cause her to become stressed out and anxious. My fiance knows about Judy's struggle and respects it. Before we went to her parents' house, I asked her to tell them about Judy and her

struggle, and to try to get them to not say anything negative about it, or possibly even mention it at all. My fiancee said that she would guarantee that no one would say anything. We got to the event, they talked to Judy, and Judy slowly warmed up to them. Everything was going well, until dinner time. My future mother-in-law looked at Judy while she was eating and pointed at her scar. Basically, she was just asking about it, which made Judy lose her appetite and start to get uncomfortable. I kept sending my fiance and her mom signs to knock it off, but to no avail. Finally, my future mother-in-law then brought up the wedding and asked my fiance if it

would be possible to Photoshop the scar out of any wedding photos that will have Judy just in case they will distract viewers. I was dumbfounded and my fiance said nothing and just kind of stared casually while nodding. I looked at Judy and it was clear this got to her. I leaned closer and asked her if she was feeling uncomfortable and that we could leave if the answer was yes. She took her time, nodded and said, yes, I'm feeling uncomfortable right now. I got up and told Judy to get ready because we were leaving. My fiance, her mom and the family started insisting that we stay in finished dinner, but I refused. I took Judy and got in the car and left before even talking to my fiance.

Obviously my fiance was pissed. She called me up angry about how I disrespected her parents by taking Judy and leaving in the middle of dinner without even saying goodbye. I told her that Judy was feeling uncomfortable with the comments and questions. She said that Judy overreacted and she has to go back to therapy

if a simple mention of her scar caused her to react that way. I got tired of arguing and asked her to give us some time, but she said that I have no respect for her and her family and that what I did was irrational. And now she won't speak to me until I clear things up with her family after ruining their celebration dinner. Opie, there's God, where do I even begin on this post? Where do I even begin?

First of all, can we just agree, like, as a society, that making fun of a miner's appearance, right in front of them, is pretty scummy. And then to, like, invalidate Judy and shame her by saying they're gonna photoshop out part of her appearance, is disgusting. Then, on top of that, you set a very clear, very reasonable boundary. Hey, don't talk about our scar.

Really simple. Your fiance said that she would respect that, and she didn't. OP, you shouldn't even be second-guessing yourself. As a father, you have a responsibility to protect your daughter and the way that you handled the situation is perfectly reasonable. I hate to tell people to break up because it sounds so extreme and I'm not in your relationship so it's very easy for me to say, oh just dump her OP even though you've been dating for two years or probably living together, but for real OP.

Your fiance is disrespecting your daughter and your boundaries. She's showing you her true colors. It's kind of like that phrase. When someone shows you who they really are, listen. OP, you and Judy get zero out of five buttholes. Your fiance and her family get three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for throwing away the food my wife put in my freezer and then putting a padlock on it? I'm a 39 year old guy and I've been married to my wife, who's 32 for four years. We usually get along just fine. One of the issues that we've had since

our relationship began has been about our freezer. Simply put, my wife stuffs the freezer full of food constantly. There is absolutely zero space for me to put anything in there. At first, I tried to solve this by buying the fridge with the biggest freezer we could find. I dropped nearly $4,000 on it. She interpreted this as an invitation to buy even more frozen foods so she could play microwave dinner Tetris with the freezer. Every single nook and cranny is stuffed full. Yet still, she buys more frozen foods and somehow finds a way to fit them in.

The worst part is that whenever I buy frozen food, she asks me at least three to four times a day when I'm going to take it out of the freezer. She essentially nags me until I remove the food from the freezer so that she could put something that she's not going to touch for like six months in its place. Last week, I finally snapped and bought an inexpensive single door deep freezer. I put it in the basement and keep a couple of my own things in there. Mostly some frozen vegetables and a few burritos. I didn't really mention it to my wife because she wasn't home when I brought it in.

When my wife got home later that day, she went downstairs to do laundry and discovered my freezer. She excitedly ran upstairs to tell me the upstairs one is full and she can actually fit more food in there now. I responded that under no circumstances she'd have touched the freezer because it's mine.

Not a single ice cube should be put in there. Then I told her not to ask again, because I knew that she would bring it up like three to four times a day that she needs more freezer room. She soaked and tried to debate the issue with me, but I was able to play cater. A couple of days later I went down to the basement to get something from my freezer, and I found it about 70% full of microwave dinners. When I checked the upstairs freezer in the kitchen, I found that that was also completely full.

I calmly went downstairs with a large garbage bag, threw everything of hers into it, and then tossed it into our trash bin. Then I found a padlock that I had lying around and locked my freezer with it. Later that day, my wife bought more frozen food to put in the new freezer. But when she got downstairs, she noticed the lock and flipped out. She told me that I was being controlling. When I told her there was no way that she would ever use that freezer again, she threw a tantrum and left for her mom's house. She came back later that day and told me that I

had 24 hours to unlock that freezer. Nothing really happened out for those 24 hours, but now she's completely ignoring everything that I say. I think that my actions were justifiable, but was I wrong here? Okay, OP, this isn't about frozen food, this isn't about boundaries, this is about a hoarding problem. Your wife has a serious issue with hoarding food. Opie, this is outside of my pay grade, and it's outside of red, it's pay grade again. It sounds like your wife needs therapy. I think I'm going to give everyone here zero out of five buttles because even though your wife is doing something wrong here, I think that she's like clinically sick, like she's unwell somehow. From what I know about hoarding, hoarding isn't really about hoarding.

It's usually about some other issue, and hoarding is just how that issue manifests. So hopefully OP, you can get your wives and professional help. Am I the butthole for refusing to let my boyfriend have my bank account info to make a purchase? I'm a 31 year old woman, and I've been with my 37 year old boyfriend for 8 months. He has 3 kids and is a single dad. We're on pretty good terms regarding almost everything. When it comes to spending money on things, we typically take turns. Several times, he's had me pay for his kids purchases.

I didn't want to make a big deal out of it because those purchases were relatively small. All I had to pay was like 30 to 60 bucks. The other day he called me while I was at work and sounded like he was in a hurry. He said that he just found the gaming device that he been looking for for so long and he wanted to buy it for his oldest son. I asked him what this has to do with me and he told me that he was short on money and he needed $300. He asked me to lend him $300 and I hesitated, but agreed. He asked for my bank account info so we could pull out the money, but I refused and told him to wait for me until I got there. He insisted and said that he would handle it, and all I had to do was just send him my bank

account info after I end the call with him. His insistence made me uncomfortable, so I said no and told him to either wait or I won't pay. He got mad at me saying that he didn't understand why I was acting like this. He started yelling so loud that I had to hang up. I found him sitting outside when I got home. He was waiting for me and was extremely upset. He asked me why I didn't just send him the account info so he could pull the money that we agreed on. I told him that I don't feel comfortable letting anyone have my personal info, especially when it comes

to finances. He got offended and said, I'm not just anyone, I'm your effing partner. Then he went on this rant about how he ended up not buying the gaming device after looking for it for so long, and now his kid has mad at him and it's MY fault. We had a fight and then he left me, and told me that I'd better have an apology for him and his son the next time I call him. I haven't called him yet, but I feel like I acted stupidly and irrationally. I think that maybe I should have just given him the info that I asked for. I don't know if I made the right decision or not.

Alright OP, this is really, really simple. You have a boundary, you clearly explain your boundary, and then he got upset at you because you wouldn't let him trample over that boundary. Like that's it, it's really that simple. This isn't about $300. This isn't about, I'm your effing partner. This is about him not respecting your very, very reasonable boundary. There is no way on earth.

I would give someone I was dating for eight months, my log and information to my bank. What are you nuts? And then OP posted an update. I went to my boyfriend's place and I talked to him and his son. Turns out the gaming device thing was a lie. He wanted the money for something else to help pay for one of his buddy's car repairs. I was shocked when he confessed this and he said that he had to lie and make it about his kids to get me to lend him the money.

You can only imagine my reaction after this. I just blew up at him and left without giving him a chance to respond. He tried calling my phone, but I decided that I wanted some space to think about what happened and really reevaluate our relationship. It's true that he had me pay for the kids in the past, but after what I found out, I wouldn't put a past in that those 30 to 60 dollar purchases weren't for the kids. Because come to think of it, I never actually saw the things that he said that he was going to buy for his kids.

Quite frankly, I'm no longer sure if I can move past this. It's just so unsettling that he has no issue lying to me and using me for money like that. He hurt me with what he did, and I'm not sure if I can come back from it. I don't know, I'm just gonna do a lot of thinking regarding this situation and see what happens. OP, how many red flags does this guy have to show you before you finally realize? Hey, wait a second, maybe this guy's a douchebag. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your boyfriend gets 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my sister that I'm never babysitting for her again?

I'm a 37 year old guy who single, child-free and has two dogs who are German-chepard mixes. They're very well behaved and super nice, and my nieces and nephews between the ages of 2 to 13 love them. I have four sisters who have 10 kids between them, so I babysit a lot. I work from home, and I'm pretty much always available to watch the older ones since I can easily work while they're in my apartment. And when they need care for the little ones, I just move my schedule around a little bit. Yesterday, four of my nieces and nephews were at my place, ages 3, 5, 7, and 8. The 7 and 8 year old are siblings. I have just one super strict rule at my house.

No chocolate. It's deadly for dogs, I don't like it anyways, and kids can easily go one afternoon without it. The 7 and 8 year olds obviously brought chocolate with them and shared it with the 3 and 5 year olds. I was in the kitchen making them drinks and they were in the living room. My dogs were sleeping on the balcony. I came into the living room and there were obviously chocolate crumbs everywhere. I asked who had the chocolate and the seven and eight year olds admitted that their mom gave it to them and that they always have some with them, but they usually eat it in secrets. When my sister came to pick them up a few hours later, I told her what happened, and she said that our kids are big enough not to make a chocolate mess. I told her that I'm never babysitting for her again.

She's furious and says that I overreacted and another sister of mine agrees with her. My mother thinks that I'm wrong for putting my dogs before the kids. Am I the butthole? Okay, hold up, hold up. Putting the dogs before the kids would be like, if youole? Okay, hold up, hold up. Putting the dogs before the kids would be like, if you're in a car wreck and your car was on fire and your dogs like, oh, save us. And the babies were like, wow, save us. And you choose to save the dogs instead of the kids. That would be picking the dogs over the kids. You saying, hey, I'll

give you free babysitting. Please don't poison my dogs and kill them. That's not putting the dogs over the kids. That's just caring that your dogs don't die and setting very reasonable rules for your own home. Down in the comments, I couldn't agree more with momby. Not the butthole, and it looks like your mom has volunteered to babysit for free. Thanks mom! be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.