rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Refusing to Sign Over My House to My Boyfriend?

Episode Date: July 8, 2022

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Welcome to R-slash, am I the butthole, where OP refuses to give her house to her boyfriend? Am I the butthole for not putting my boyfriend's name on my house? I really thought this was normal, but so many people are telling me that I'm a B word for not doing that, so it's starting to mess with my head, to be honest. I recently received a house. My grandmother passed away and left her two houses to my sister and I. We sat down, and between the two of us, we decided that she would have the bigger house because she's married and has two kids and another one on the way, while I would move into the smaller, two-bit room house.

My sister's husband has been added to the title of her house because he helped her pay the tax on it. I was able to pay the tax on mine by myself because it was cheap or due to being smaller. My boyfriend of three years didn't contribute financially towards it, so I didn't think to put him on the title. We had a housewarming party last weekend and his parents came up to me towards the end of the night. They were going on and on about how lucky my boyfriend and I were to be able to live

somewhere like this rent-free and it gives us such a head start in life. And they were very appreciative that I'd given half the house to my boyfriend. I corrected them that I hadn't given him half the house and he wasn't on the title, but he was welcome to live with me and not pay rent so that he had more money to put towards his studies. We're both master students. They immediately became very judgmental, saying that I was being unfair by not putting his name on the title, and that clearly I didn't expect the relationship to last. They said that I didn't trust him. I said they were being unfair, and he was an entitled to half of my family's house, and then I walked away. Now numerous members of his family have messaged me, saying that I'm a B word and I don't

trust him, and they're telling him to watch out because clearly I don't love him. Am I the butthole here? And then OP posted an update. I've gotten a bunch of messages asking what my boyfriend thinks. I brought it up with him, and he said that he feels like it's a sign that I don't trust him. I said that I wouldn't add him to the title unless we were married and he was paying half. He said that he feels like I am blackmailing him into getting married and I said that I wasn't. I just wouldn't want to make a huge commitment to him like giving him half my house when he wouldn't make a huge commitment to me.

He said to just drop it because we're never going to agree on this so let's just leave it so we don't argue. Opie, let's be clear here. Your boyfriend's family has absolutely nothing to do with your house. This is your house, not their house, so they have zero claim to being on the title. Just because you're dating your boyfriend deserves half of your house is he nuts! And the thing is, he is benefiting because he's living there rent free. Opie, why don't you ask your boyfriend's parents if they've written you into their

will? After all, you're dating their son, so surely they feel that you're entitled to half of everything he gets. Right? OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your boyfriend and his family get 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Please do not give into the pressure OP because if you do, you're losing half your house almost guaranteed. Am I the butthole for refusing to let my future husband lie about the house that he and I purchased during his groomed speech? My fiance is a 37 year old guy and I'm a 33 year old woman. We had engaged a few months ago. We're getting married soon and invitations were already sent out. We're also

busy moving into our new home that we purchased together, 30% with his savings, and 70% with mine. I have to admit that saving up for this house took out most of my savings and permitted me from enjoying the things that I love spending money on. My fiance sat me down yesterday to talk about his groom's speech. He talked about a few points, but what made me upset was when he asked if I would be okay if he mentions the house that we bought and say that he was the one who bought it. I was a bit taken aback. I asked why, and he said, it's just a confidence boost during the speech, and that's it. I said that I didn't feel comfortable with that idea, because I think it's unfair not to acknowledge the fact that I'd sacrifice so much to be able to buy that house.

I reminded him of how much I contributed, but he said this doesn't change that it's our house, so it shouldn't matter to me if he said that he bought it himself or if we both did. I refused because then people will always think that he bought the house, which is something that will never change. He got mad at me and said that I was really overthinking this whole thing and making a big deal out of it. We got into an argument and he started yelling saying that it's just one favor he's asking me to do,

and yet I'm making this ridiculous small request my hill to die on. He's basically sulking, and now he's out of the house refusing to answer my calls. So basically he's giving me the silent treatment until I cave. Am I the butthole for making this my hill to die on? Wait, all up. How come this is YOU dying on this hill, but not HIM dying on the hill? Right, the fact that you're fighting about it means he cares about it, at least as much as you do, because if it weren't a big deal from him, he would be like, oh, okay, if it's

a big deal to you, then never mind. But clearly, it's just as important to him as it is to you. Okay, OP, I don't want to say don't get married to this guy, because this doesn't really seem like a breakup worthy fight, but what I do want to tell you to do is get a prenup. Because if this guy already sees the house as 100% his, even though you paid 70% of it, then during a divorce separating assets is going to be really messy. Anyways, OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes.

You're perfectly justified here. I'm giving your fiance 2 out of 5 buttholes. Also OP, I have a hunch that your fiance is already telling people that he bought the house 100% on his own. Am I the butthole for calling my brother an awful dad and an even worse husband? I'm a 16 year old boy, and I have an older brother who's 26 who recently had his first son a month ago. His wife, who's 26, never wanted a kid, but my brother convinced her to have one. This week was the first time that I visited since the baby was born since we lived states away.

The place was pretty dirty, but I shrugged it off thanking their new parents and they have their hands full. Then I saw my brother's wife, who looked as if she hadn't showered since a delivery, slept in a week, or done anything except for take care of the baby. Compared to my brother, who was clean, well-kept, and rested, she was a train wreck. Over the four hours that I was there, I really saw how much she contributed. Every time the baby would cry, my brother would hand him off to my mom or his wife. He ran out of the nursery yelling for someone else to change the baby's diaper, and it

turned out it was a small turd, not even a blowout. Other examples of his negligence include insisting that we leave the baby home alone while we went out for dinner, refusing to bathe him and yelling at the baby to just go to sleep. My parents had seen enough and sat everyone down, me included. We told him he needs to grow up and help out, but he just kept making excuses like he's tired from work. For the record, he works like 6 or 7 hours a day, Monday through Friday, sometimes half a day on Saturdays. His logic was that because he works, he can avoid his duties as a father. And by the way, he's not even the main breadwinner because his wife works from home as well.

He eventually got mad that we wanted him to be a dad and he just said, She's a woman, I'm a man. I don't take care of him other than sports and teaching him to be a man. I snapped and started yelling about how awful of a dad he is for neglecting the child that he pressured his wife to have. I called him a lousy dad and how sad it is that he makes everyone else do his duties for him. I called him a dead bead saying that he shouldn't have a kid if he didn't want to help out. I told him that I was sorry his wife married him because he was an awful husband and how much better she could do and I added that I wouldn't be surprised if they were divorced by the time that he was 30. Everyone was silent. My parents told me to wait outside. Then later told me to apologize because it was rude and unnecessary.

I refused to, but I could hear my brother crying. I don't know if I took it too far, but I think that my brother needs a reality check so that his kids grew up with him present. We tried to talk to him over the phone before and we were only being nice, but that didn't work. So I need to know Reddit. Am I the butthole? Okay OP, so let me be clear, your brother does 100% need a wake up call and it's beneficial to him, the wife, and the child that you told him the truth. However OP, you did go pretty hard here. And I'm not saying that what you did was wrong, I'm just saying that this type of reaction is probably going to have consequences.

My guess is that your relationship with your brother is probably irreparably damaged after that, insulting him as a husband, a father, and a man in his own home surrounded by family. Like that's going to hurt, that's really going to hurt. And yeah, he deserves to be her because he's not being a good husband or a good father. What I'm saying is, while you are in the right here OP, you probably are gonna face consequences for this, and the consequences are your brothers probably

never gonna look at you the same way. I'm glad that you said something. I think the wife is probably also glad as well. It's kind of hard to tell based on the context, and I hope that he listens. I hope that he changes and actually becomes a present engaged father But yeah, I'm guessing the bridge between you and your brother has probably been burned from this O.P. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your brother four out of five buttholes

It's incredibly ironic that this guy is so obsessed with being a man and teaching his son how to be a man when he doesn't know The first thing about being a man and teaching his son how to be a man when he doesn't know the first thing about being a real man. Am I the butthole for taking two of my nephews on vacation with me, but not the other? I'm a 36 year old guy who's child free. I have two sisters, Lisa and Annie. Lisa has two boys aged 9 and 7. Annie has an 8 year old boy and a 1 year old girl. They both struggle financially while I have a good job. So this year I offered to take my nephews on vacation with me. My niece is still so small that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her right now, and any totally understood that. I told my sisters to bring the boys to my apartment for the weekend

so I could see if they would all get along and if I'm up for taking them to the seaside with me for 14 days. The boys came and at first we had a great time. I ordered pizza, we watched a movie, we played soccer, etc. The next morning I woke up and gave them cereal. The 8 year old threw the cereal on the floor and said, I have waffles on the weekend. I told him that he can't have waffles for breakfast today, but we can make them for dinner or breakfast next day. He said that he doesn't like cereal. I told him he could just have some toast

with peanut butter or some fruit, and he yelled at me for not making him waffles. That day, he also cut up my shirt because I didn't let him have cookies for lunch, and he told me that I suck for telling him to eat his vegetables before I gave him ice cream. He was a nightmare! Meanwhile, the 7-year-old and 9-year-old from my other sister behaved great.

When my sisters came to pick them up, I told Annie what happened, and she said, oh, he's just high-spirited. I told her that I am not taking him for vacation. I also told Lisa that I'd be glad to take her boys with me and they were super super excited. My parents and some aunts have been biting my head off for treating the kids differently and denying a boy to go to the seaside just because he misbehaved once. Am I the butthole? Alright OP, so yeah technically he did only misbehaved during that one weekend, but it's pretty clear that if you took him on this vacation, he would have misbehaved for the entire two weeks. And to put it simply, you taking your nephews on vacation is a privilege not a right.

So if you don't want to take one of your nephews because he's being an entitled brat, then that's your prerogative. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. Your entitled nephews gets two out of five buttholes. Your entitled sister gets three out of 5 buttholes. You're entitled and if you get 2 out of 5 buttholes, your entitled sister gets 3 out of 5 buttholes. You can't raise your kid to be a monster and then get upset at people when they don't want to be around your monster. Am I the butthole for getting back the money my husband took from our in-bito fertilization treatment and gave to his friend?

Oh my god, this title. Um, okay. To start off, I want to say that my husband, who's 36, has his old friend, who's 33 that he's known since high school. They're inseparable and spend the entire week together, like they're really, really close. My husband and I struggled with fertility issues for years. We recently started in vitro fertilization in hopes of getting at least one child together. Note that I've saved up for the majority of the treatment while my husband has only

paid like 2-3 thousand dollars. We saved up for another round after the huge disappointment and heartbreak from failing the first time. That's just how it goes. This time, I'd put in all of my money, including my inheritance from my dad and my husband didn't pay a cent. Last week, I found out that my husband secretly withdrew 7 of my $11,000 in savings. I was completely and utterly in shock. I confronted him, and he casually reminded me of how many times his best friend complained about his old junk car, and he decided to lend him $7,000 to buy a decent car. His argument was that his friend would have done the same for him.

I was beyond livid and I asked if he really thought that was okay and he said that I shouldn't worry and guarantee that his friend would pay us back in time. I lost it on my husband and I immediately demanded to his friend to send the money back and I threatened police involvement if he refused. His friend immediately returned the money, but told my husband about the police thing and my husband came home and yelled at me calling me selfish and unhinged. I told my husband that I saved up this money myself and I even used my inheritance for this treatment while he contributed nothing even though we're in this together.

He corrected me by saying that I'm the one with the problem and he thought that it's only fair that I make up for by paying for the IVF myself. This hurt me so badly and I couldn't argue anymore. He went to stay with his friend while constantly shaming me for how I treated them both and for the police involvement like they stole from me or something. But OP, he did steal from you. He literally did steal your money. If he contributed half of that 11k, then yeah, he'd have an argument because it's his money and if he wants to spend it on his friend, rather than on the IVF, then you know,

that's kind of like a fair argument, I suppose. But literally taking your money that you saved up for for a non-emergency issue, the guy needs a new car? That's not an emergency. He's got a car. And man, that line where he said that your medical problem is your problem really stung. Like, what is he gonna do if you get cancer? Oh, that sucks! See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya! Good luck with your treatment, I guess. I'm gonna go hang out with my friends. Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your husband 4.5 out of five buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.