rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Ruining My Crush's Life So She'll Love Me?

Episode Date: November 21, 2022

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Welcome to R-Slash, in my The Butthole, where a creepy in-cell reveals that he's intentionally sabotaging his classmate to trick her into liking him. Am I the Butthole for putting mistakes in my shared Google document notes? I'm a 21-year-old guy and I'm currently taking Organic Chemistry 1. Needless to say, the class is incredibly tough. Luckily, though, I've been studying since day one, so I'm doing all right in the class is incredibly tough. Luckily though, I've been studying since day one, so I'm doing all right in the class. I'm taking the class with a group of friends, so to help them out, I shared the personal notes that I'd take in class with them via Google Documents, and I encourage them to invite anyone they know. Recently, one of my friends invited a friend of theirs. Let's call her Jess, who's 20. I've never really interacted with Jess, but I have a massive crush on her.

I think she and I would make a great couple, but she's not really into sensitive smart guys, because on her Instagram, I see all of her stories show her going out with really jock-like men. Our third exam is in a couple of days, and as I was going through the Google document, I realized that she was using my document the most. You can see who looks at or edits the document on Google documents, and most of my

other friends would pop up sometimes, but I would see her icon pop up a lot. I also know for a fact that she is not doing well in the class, so I got a really good idea. I would put subtle mistakes in the document so that she wouldn't do well in the exam. Then I can offer to tutor her. That way, I can interact with her and talk to her so that she'll realize that I have a great personality and hopefully we can go out together. I told my friend about this plan and they called me an in-sell butthole. Personally, I think they're overreacting because Jess isn't going to do well either way, even if I don't sabotage her.

So my plan will actually benefit her grades while also allowing me to interact with her and talk to her. I think it's a win-win for everyone, but I was wondering if my friend may have been onto something. So am I the butthole? Uh, how do I put this? Opie, you are an in-sell butthole. Uh, where do I put this? Opie, you are an in-sell butthole.

Uh, man, where do I even start? You said that you two would make a great couple, even though you are objectively not her type. And you said that you want to show her that you have a great personality when the only personality trait that you're actually exhibiting in this post is that you're manipulative and lying. Down in the comments, Narkareth says it best. This cannot be real. Consider the following phrase. I like you, so I'll harm you, so I can save you, so you can view me as a hero. This is straight superbillian logic. It's like a more self-centered version of the plot to unbreakable.

Yeah, I'm gonna agree with this poster. OP, you get 2 out of 5 buttholes. Everyone else gets 0 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for calling out my husband's co-workers' wife for trying to flush a maxi-pad down our toilet? So I'm pretty mad about the whole ordeal. My husband's co-worker and his wife are both mad at us, and I think I humiliated her, but I think her lack of common sense is what did it. My husband

and I recently hosted a cook out at our house for his co-workers. He gets along pretty well with most of them and enjoys hosting. A co-worker's wife, Julia, goes to the hallway bathroom and comes back. I end up going in after her and notice a toilet is clogged and starting to overflow. Something large and white is stuck in the toilet. I used the plunger to unclog it and, low and behold, it's a very large, bloody, maxi pad. Julia was the last person to use the bathroom, so I come out and ask her if she tried to flush a pad down our toilet. She got embarrassed and said yes, and I told her she had to go clean up the mess she made. There was toilet water all over the floor, with particles of her pad and blood everywhere.

I asked her if no one ever taught her not to flush a pad. We have a large septic tank and they cost thousands of dollars to repair. You don't flush pads, especially not the extra large ones. It's not like she tried to flush a pantyliner or something. Julia cried and her husband yelled at me, but who does that? Especially at someone else's house. My husband's two female co-workers came to my defense

and pretty much said that it was stupid of her to do that. Julia half-ass cleaned up her mess and her and her husband quickly left. All of their co-workers think that Julia shouldn't have done that, but my husband and his co-worker are having a whole feud about it. Am I the butthole for calling out my husband's co-workers wife for trying to flush a maxi pad down our toilet?

Okay, as a guy, I'm not super well versed in feminine hygiene products. I have like a very baseline 101 level understanding of pads and tampons. But even I, a guy who's never used a maxi pad in my life, knows not to flush a maxi pad down the toilet because they're designed to absorb water, which means they plump up and get like thick with liquid. So inevitably, it's gonna clog the toilet. I have a pretty good feeling that I know what happened here, which is Julia sat on the toilet

and she's got her period or whatever. And she didn't want to throw it away in the trash can because then the bloody pad is gonna be there for future people to see and that was embarrassing. So instead of having other people see her blood, her plan was to flush it. Hopefully it'll go far enough down the toilet that it won't be visible by the time it clogs.

Then it won't matter, the party will be over, she will have left, you'll be left with the bill, you'll be left with the clogged toilet. And by then it'll be impossible to tell who clogged the toilet. Maybe it was Julia, maybe it was OP herself, maybe it was the other two co-workers. I don't know, am I like overreaching here? Is this like ludicrous that I think she has this elaborate plan

for how she can hide her embarrassing pad and shove the blame onto other people by the time she leaves? I think I'm onto something here because otherwise I just don't understand why she would do that. Oh, I'm giving you zero out of five bottles. I don't blame you for not wanting to clean up someone else's gross period toilet water.

I will say that maybe you should have pulled her aside and asked her in private if it was her and like to clean up, you know, secretly that way you don't embarrass her in front of everyone else. But at the same time, I'm not going to criticize you for it because what you did was pretty gross and disrespectful. So you get 0 out of 5 but holes, Julia gets 1.5 out of 5 but holes. Oh, there is an edit that I didn't see. Edit, we have a septic tank.

Septic tank repairs here can easily go for $10,000. Julia has a septic tank. Julia knows better. When I asked if she would flush a pad in her own home, she said no. Julia said that she did it because there was no trash can in there, and she didn't want to walk her pad to a different trash can. The trash can from that bathroom was outside being washed

because a different coworker got vomit on it. I don't think saving her some embarrassment would be worth paying thousands of dollars to repair. Also, she saw the toilet was clogged and decided to walk off and leave it for someone else. Yeah, this pretty much confirms my suspicions, which is, on one hand, she gets slightly embarrassed walking the pad to a different trash can.

On the other hand, she destroys her septic tank and causes you thousands of dollars in repair and she can secretly blame other people because once the party is over, who knows who clogged it. Now that I've got confirmation, I think I'm going to increase her butthole score to like 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Yo, a 10k repair bill? That is no joke. Julia can choke on her maxi bad for all I care. a pair bill, that is no joke. Julia can choke on her maxi bad for all I care. Business notifications getting out of hand, buried under an avalanche of customer emails, texts,

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have limited functionality. Am I the butthole for having a photo of my son's DNA test framed and hanging in the living room? I'm a 32 year old man and I met my wife three years ago. We got married nine months ago. We have a baby boy together that she got pregnant with while we were engaged. My wife used to be a- and remember we're on YouTube here, an adult worker. No judgment on that please. She did what she had to do to survive. My parents were always skeptical about her and lots of times asked her if I really wanted to settle down with her.

When she got pregnant, they went nuts and demanded a DNA test. They refused to attend the wedding until the DNA test was done, which was a huge problem. They ended up missing the wedding, obviously. The test was done because my wife wanted to prove a point, and eventually my parents made amends and we reconciled. They started visiting, and yesterday they noticed the photo of the DNA test that I hang in the living room.

They asked about it, and I said that it serves as a reminder for why they didn't attend the wedding. They were stunned and livid when I said that I tell any guests the same thing that I told them. My mom and dad were mad, and asked me repeatedly to take it down, saying that I'm being too harsh on them and refusing to let go of the past, as well as embarrassing them to the other family members. I refused to take it down, and I admit I was being sarcastic in my response when I said,

it goes with a house decor. They begged, then refused to come over anymore until I removed it. My brother thinks that it's petty and childish and said that I should take it down. I should clarify that my wife doesn't mind having the photo up. She laughs about it sometimes, but she's still carrying some hurt that was caused by what happened. And second of all, no, she doesn't do that type of work anymore. It was all in the past.

Is it petty? Yeah, it's petty. But is it your right to be petty in your own home and decorate your house the way you want to? Yeah, it is. And basically what you're doing is you're giving your parents a dose of their own medicine because they publicly embarrassed your wife by implying that she's a whore.

So you're publicly embarrassing them by pointing out that they're stuck up snobbs. So you know, it's kinda tit for tat. Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your parents two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for making my ex a birthday cake? Even though his girlfriend told me that she already ordered one? I'm an amateur baker, and I like to make cakes for people on their birthdays. My ex doesn't like sweet stuff, but our kids like helping me make a cake for him, so I normally

make him one anyway just for their sakes. This year his girlfriend planned a party for him, and she told me that she had already ordered him a cake, so I didn't need to make one. I told her that was fine, but my daughter kept asking me when we would make her dad's cake, and she was upset when I said that we wouldn't because she assumed that I didn't like my ex, and that's why I wouldn't make him one. Since the cake has always been more for the kids than for my ex, I decided to just make him a small one since it's not like he eats cake anyway, and I don't want my kids to think I dislike their dad. I told his girlfriend beforehand that I was going to make a small cake, and she told me not to, and that I don't want my kids to think I dislike their dad. I told his girlfriend beforehand that I was going to make a small cake,

and she told me not to, and that I couldn't bring it to the party. I told her I had to bring it to the party because that's when the kids would give him his gifts. I offered to come early and give it to him before the other guests arrived, and then they could put it away and nobody else would know about my cake. But she didn't agree with me, and repeatedly told me not to bring it. I did take it with me in the end, and now she keeps complaining to mutual friends that I did it on purpose to ruin the party and calling me weird for making him a cake after I was told not to.

Am I the butthole? Well, like, that's the thing, OP. You weren't really making the cake. Your kids were making the cake, your kids were making the cake, you just helped because by the sound of the story your kids are pretty young. So like what kind of toxic girlfriend refuses to allow his kids to give him a gift? This is not about birthday cake OP, this is about your ex's girlfriend trying to assert dominance over you.

OP you get zero out of 5 buttholes. The new girlfriend gets 1 out of 5 buttholes or being pointlessly petty. Am I the butthole for telling my niece that my husband and I aren't going to a birthday party because my husband isn't welcome? I've been with my husband for 10 years. We've been married for 5 of those years. He suffered horrific trauma at the hands of his dad. His parents were married and expecting twins when his mom suffered some kind of hemorrhage

and she ended up with a clampsia. My husband's mom and twin sister didn't make it, but my husband did after a period of time in the NICU. His dad told him that it was his fault that his mom and sister died. He had grandparents who meant the world to him and tried to shield him from his dad's anger, but when he was eight years old, they also died. His father then blamed him? What? He spent the next ten years hearing day after day that he was the reason everyone was dead. Oh my God! At no point did he have another

person to reassure him that it wasn't. When we met, he had just started to heal. He was away from his dad and attending therapy. He had a very big fear that what his dad said was true. He's a wonderful man and my nieces and nephews adore him. He's always so good with them and the rest of my family. In January 2020, I became pregnant and we went for a scan where I learned that I had miscarried. As soon as my husband heard this, something inside of him broke. He started to unravel. He was in the middle of a mental health crisis.

He was doing this weird manic laugh that was also a sob. He ran out of the room and I followed after him, concerned. My mom and sister both worked at the hospital. My sister's a nurse while my mom worked in the gift store. Both of them saw my husband in his lowest moment. They saw as medical personnel were forced to intervene because he was in the middle of a breakdown, hysterical, and totally out of it.

He was totally broken, and nothing could reach him. It was the scariest moment of my life, and the worst moment of his, and my mother and sister judged him for laughing. Then, when they told the rest of the adults in my family, they also judged him. All of my family were aware of his history. He told them about it years ago. My husband ended up under the care of a psychiatrist, who suggested that he needed a lot more help than therapy could provide.

Instead of being understanding, my family no longer wanted him around. They said that a man who could laugh at his own wife's miscarriage wasn't the kind of man they wanted around the kids I told them that I wouldn't leave him behind My niece is turning 12 this year and is having her first big party since COVID She called and said that she wanted us there, but she hadn't seen us on mom's list I told her that we wouldn't be able to come and that I was sorry. We both were She was upset and asked why she never saw us,

why we wouldn't come to her birthday party, why we were never around. I told her that my husband wasn't welcome by the other adults in the family anymore. She apparently yelled at her parents and mine. Then I got flack from them for telling her what I did. They said that I had no business saying that. Am I the butthole? Well, excuse me. You had no business saying that? Why not? Why not? Okay, she's 12. She's your niece, your blood relative. You and your husband both have a relationship with your niece. They completely bombed your relationship with your niece, but you're not allowed to tell your niece why? Get out of here, man.

Your family is super toxic, OP. And to make matters worse, these are healthcare professionals, or at least your sister is, your mom works at the gift store. So you would think that would create a certain amount of empathy and understanding that people who come to hospitals typically aren't in a good mood. Typically, you're in a hospital because you're having a bad day. OP, if you ask me, you're better off without your family, and I commend you for standing next to your husband during all this. If your niece's parents want to nuke your relationship

with your niece, then I guess that's their right, but also it's your right to tell your niece why it's happening. O.P., you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your behavior in this story is commendable. Your family gets 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Except for your niece, of course, who's a victim in this as well. I'm giving her a 0 out of 5 buttholes because she should y'all their parents. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow

my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.