rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Telling Karen I Want to F$%& Her Son?

Episode Date: July 10, 2022

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Welcome to R-Slash, am I the butthole where OP tells her mother-in-law that she wants to f*** her son? Am I the butthole for telling my mother-in-law that I want to passionately hug her son? So I'm a 28 year old woman, and my husband, who's 31, had to spend two months in a different state for work. He came back nine days ago. I am obviously thrilled that he's back, and I've missed him a lot. I was hoping that we would be able to spend some time together just a two of us. However, his mom came over when he was supposed to come home. I was slightly annoyed, but I know she was just excited for her son to be back. However, she never left.

Like I was ready to deal with her being there for a day or two, not nine days. Since my mother-in-law has been around for nine days, my husband and I haven't had a second of a lone time together. My mother-in-law insists on staying with us instead of at a hotel. For the record, she lives one hour away. The guest room is right next to ours, and the walls are thin. When the two of us go out, she comes with us. Or she makes one of us stay with her because otherwise we would be bad hosts. She follows us around the house constantly. We want to cuddle and watch movies, and there she is sitting in the armchair.

We want to go to a romantic restaurant. Well, better make it a table for three. We even left her in the living room to go chat in our room and she followed us. Earlier today, I just asked her to leave, even though both of us have been hinting that she needs to go. She kept saying that she wasn't ready to go yet and she wanted more time with her son. I tried telling her that we wanted some alone time and she kept insisting that she'd join us. Finally I snapped and said, since you seem to be oblivious, I'll put this bluntly. I want to f*** your son.

If you don't want to see your hearers do it, then you need to leave. I know this isn't the classiest response ever, but I was frustrated. Anyways, she yelled at me but eventually left. My husband and I finally got to have our alone time, but now she's blowing up both of our phones. She's saying that I'm disgusting and have no respect

for her, her son, or myself. She keeps telling my husband that he shouldn't be with someone so crude and how dare he let me speak to her like that. I'm sure you get the idea. I know that what I said was really inappropriate. So, am I the butthole? Nah, OP. If you've been hinting that she needs to GTFO and she's been ignoring those hints, then this is her problem. It's not like you're some crude person who's saying these vulgar things just to be vulgar. She pushed you this far.

So I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving her 2 out of 5 buttholes for being an oblivious host. I'm also giving your husband two out of five buttholes. It's your husband's responsibility to be the liaison between you and his mom and your mother-in-law saying, how dare that you let her speak to me that way. When really, how dare he let his mother do that to you? So I'm giving your husband two out of five buttholes as well. Am I the butthole for calling off my wife's birthday party after she lied about bringing my daughter with her to the restaurant? I'll preface this by saying that I'm a 38 year old guy and I have a daughter, Sandy, who's 16, with an incredibly sensitive personality and who loves to help people.

We come from a well off background compared to her friends, so for the past few months, Sandy has been doing some charity work. She cut her hair and donated it to cancer patients. She pawned off her things and sold some of her expensive clothes and shoes and gave away her things to her friends and other families. Now she wears thrift shop clothes, which is something that my wife isn't so happy with. She thinks that Sandy is painting a bad picture of us as neglectful parents and giving a false impression to people that were poor when in fact we're doing well financially. I admit that my wife cares about appearances and recently I started noticing

that she's been excluding Sandy from events and gatherings because of how she dresses. I talked to my wife about it and she said that it was all in my head. But last week was my wife's birthday. We celebrated at a restaurant, and I asked my wife to get Sandy and meet me there. Although, at first, my wife hinted that if Sandy refused to dress properly, then she wouldn't bring her. But I told her that if she didn't bring her, then we'd have an issue, and the party would be called off. We waited, and then I saw my wife walk into the restaurant by herself. I was mad, I'm not gonna lie.

I asked her where Sandy was and she told me that she didn't feel like coming, even though she talked about how excited she was for this party. I just had this gut feeling that my wife was lying, so I texted Sandy and sure enough, my wife gave her an ultimatum, saying that she either had to wear something that matches our class, or she wouldn't be allowed to

come to her birthday party where her friends and family are gathered. I went outside to call Sandy, and she was crying. I was furious. I walked inside the restaurant and picked up an argument with my wife, and told her family and friends exactly why Sandy wasn't there. My wife looked shocked. She started arguing with me and I ended up calling off the entire event and having everyone else leave the party.

My wife literally started yelling at me at the restaurant so I took my stuff and went home. She got back and kept yelling at me for ruining her birthday and making a scene and humiliating her in front of her friends and family. She said that Sandy was acting stubborn and that's on her, but I told my wife that she acted unreasonably by excluding her like that. Sandy was crying because of this, and I felt like this was too big to look over despite my wife saying that it wasn't a big deal and that I ruined her birthday for no reason. My wife went to go stay with her family and won't even reply to my texts. She just reads them but won't respond.

She's probably expecting me to apologize for what happened. Am I the butthole? Did I go too far? OP, you said a very clear and reasonable boundary. If my daughter doesn't come, then we don't have a party. Your wife ignored that boundary so you canceled the party. That's all very reasonable. O.P., your wife is being a disgusting snob. I'm glad that you chose your daughter over your wife. I'm giving you and your daughter zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your wife two out of five buttholes. Your wife is the perfect embodiment of the saying, you can't buy class. Am I the butthole for going into the ladies room?

I'm a 31 year old man who was at a large store yesterday with my 5 year old son, Winnie pooped his pants. I went over to the restrooms and I saw that there wasn't a family slash companion restroom, just a men's bathroom and a women's bathroom. I went to the men's room and saw there was a cubicle and a few urinals but no changing table. The sink didn't have a counter either. I walked out and hunted down an employee to ask where the changing table was. She said it was in the bathroom, and I asked where, assuming there was a family slash companion restroom on the other side of the store. She just took me back to where I was before. I asked her if there was another bathroom, and she said no. I told her I was just in the bathroom, and there was no changing table. She her if there was another bathroom and she said no. I told her I was just in the bathroom and there was no changing table.

She asked if I was sure and suggested I look again. I was annoyed but I went back to the men's room, no changing table. When I came out, the employee was gone. Keep in mind, my son has been wearing his poopy diaper this whole time. So I give up and head to the ladies room, which, sure enough, had a changing table. There was a woman in there washing her hands and she said, wrong bathroom buddy. I gesture to my son and said, there's no changing table in the men's room. She laughed and said, bro, that sucks, then she walked out.

So I rushed to change him, hoping to be done before anyone else walks in. I am almost done when a woman walks in and starts screaming at me. I tried to explain what I was doing, but she kept screaming, get out, you can't be here. Then she ran out. I finished putting the diaper on and rushed out of the bathroom. I saw the woman talking to an employee and decided to leave without my stuff.

The employee tried to wave me down and stop me, but I rushed out to my car, buckled my son into his car seat, and left. My wife said that I absolutely did the right thing, but my mom said that I'm an idiot and was 100% in the wrong. My sister won't stop laughing at me and has no help at all. Am I the butthole? Okay, so like, um, no, you didn't do anything wrong here. The thing is, the woman who yelled at you and didn't want you in her bathroom, she didn't really do anything wrong either. And like, the problem with this scenario is that it's the store who did something wrong, right? They're the

ones who should have installed a baby changing station in the minz room, but they didn't, and the only way for you to get around that is to essentially victimize women and make them feel uncomfortable by going into their room. And yeah, that lady has a very reasonable expectation to not walk into a strange guy in the women's bathroom which he needs to go to the bathroom. I think the ideal solution, which is really awkward and I don't blame you if you don't want to do this OP, would be to just go to the nearest display, push aside the like shirts and pants or whatever, and change the baby's diaper there. Because if you really

want to get the store to realize they've got a problem, that would be a great way to do it. So OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. You kind of made the best of a bad situation. I'm giving the woman who yelled at you 0 out of 5 buttholes as well because she has a right to pee in peace. I'm giving the store 1.5 out of 5 buttholes for being sexist against men. Am I the butthole for not correcting my son when he told off my husband who is his stepfather? I've been married to my husband Jeremy since my son Chris was 8. He's now 17. My son and my husband have a fantastic relationship despite with the title might sound like.

My birthday is 2 weeks away and honestly I haven't put much thought into it. My husband is not a gift giver. He says he has a hard time figuring out what to get and doesn't win a waste money on something that people won't use. He's also a practical person, whereas I'm by far more of a sentimental type. So even when he does get me something, it's something I can use every day. Which no big deal, obviously. But I've requested some sentimental pieces pieces and he just never gets them.

So I pretty much gave up on ever asking for anything, and it did really bother me for a number of years, and it truly doesn't bother me now, usually. Well my son graduated high school year early and he doesn't start college until next year. He currently works two jobs, which is his choice. I've asked him to cut back and enjoy his teen years before adulthood, but working seems to make him happy. He works at a mechanic shop in a junkyard. Well, my husband hates spending money, and he tries imposing that on us too. He lives as frugally as physically possible and saves every dime that he can.

He could retire right the second and he still wouldn't be able to go through all the money he saved up. My son came home last night with three of his buddies who work with him and he says, I know it's not for two more weeks but I just can't wait for you to open this so please open it now. Him and his buddies are snickering about it so I thought it would be some gag gift, but much to my surprise. It was a huge, absolutely gorgeous wall piece that has photo frames and shelves built in. My husband immediately was like, wow, how much did that cost? That could have gone into an IRA Roth account. My son immediately glared cold daggers at my husband and said,

it's truly none of your business what I do with my own money. And since you outright refuse to buy my mother nice things that she absolutely deserves, I will make sure she gets something nice. And for the record, we made this ourselves. It didn't cost us anything. My husband just stopped talking, looked at me like he was waiting for me to say something, and when I didn't, he shook his head and walked off. After the boys leave, he says that I allowed Chris to embarrass him in front of other people, and I should have said something. I simply told him that Chris was right.

Am I the butthole? Yo, your son is working two jobs. That's his money. If he wants to spend his money on a gift, or not in this case, then he has every right to. What right did your husband have to judge your son for how he spends his money? And to be clear, he's judging your son for buying a birthday gift for you? Opie, your husband sounds like a douchey cheap scape. I'm giving you and your son zero out of five

buttholes. I'm giving your husband two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for ignoring my boss and blocking his number on my vacation? I'm a 26 year old woman, and I'm currently in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. We take turns visiting each other. He came to see me almost two months of not seeing each other. I requested to have five days off and was approved for my job. I worked there for six years. This happened after my shift and I was hitting out quickly.

I had to pick up my boyfriend from the airports. I clocked out, and while I was saying goodbye to everyone, my new boss of two weeks stopped me and he asked me if I could cover a shift. Apparently, one of my co-workers called in sick. We were short staffed and he needs me to stay on for a couple of hours more. At that point, I had been working a 10 hour shift and I was exhausted. I responded, no, I'm sorry, but I'm not able to. I can't stay late. I've covered shifts before, I don't mind, but this time I had somewhere to be. I mentioned I was picking someone up at the airport. He told me they could take an Uber. My boyfriend wouldn't be happy with me if I did that to him. Also, he doesn't have a key to

my apartment. No one else wanted to stay, and he had asked two other people, and they both said no. I said sorry, I just can't do it tonight, but maybe another time. He called me a lousy worker and said that I'm not a team player. I said, I guess I'm not a team player, and just walked past him. I'll see him again in five days. While driving to the airport, I kept getting calls and texts from him. He'd got so bad that I had to pull over and turn off my phone. It was my boss wanting me to come back to work. I had to keep my phone on so my boyfriend could contact me.

My phone was flooded with text messages, ding after ding. I think that I got close to 15 texts. I blocked his number. I was so happy to see my boyfriend. I kept getting emails from my boss constantly when I was supposed to be enjoying my time off. I didn't respond to him because I rarely take vacation. For one, he kept asking me stuff that I didn't know the answer to,

and second, even if I did, I'm not telling him. I didn't know the answer to, and second, even if I did, I'm not telling him. I don't know, I was starting to feel petty. I had a lot of fun with my boyfriend. When I eventually came back to work, my boss called me into his office. He blew up at me for being unprofessional, and he still knew to this job. He said that I should have helped or at least replied to his emails. I responded that other people could have helped him, and it's not my responsibility when

it's my vacation time, and I got my first write-up ever. Am I missing something? Did I do something inherently wrong here? I'm actually thinking about reporting him. He is still new to this job. Am I the butthole? And then OP posted an update. I just sent an email to HR with the

emails, texts, and call logs, and any other evidence I have. My job isn't like an on-call job, so I don't understand why he's bothering me when he's roughly my age. On a happier note, me and my boyfriend are planning to move in together. Then OP posted an update. For those asking, I'm a security guard at an apartment store. I like my job. HR is setting up a meeting for tomorrow with me and my boss. Also, I should point out that my boss tried asking me out during his first week of working there, but I politely declined. And then OP posted an update. I prefer not to go into too much detail, but my boss's boss took my side, and my new boss is now my old boss. OP, with that last update, I think you kinda answered your own question.

No, you're not the butthole. This guy way overstepped his authority. OP, you could zero out of five buttholes. He gets two out of five buttholes. That was our slash of my the butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow He gets 2 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.