rSlash - r/AmITheA--hole Karen Mocked a Couple's Dead Child

Episode Date: June 19, 2022

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Welcome to R-Slash, am I the butthole where someone mocks to parents who lost their child? Am I the butthole for kicking my sister out of our family dinner after she made a practical observation? My brother, Fred and his wife, Sarah, aren't very financially stable, so it was a bit of a surprise for my sister, Katie and I when they announced that they were pregnant. However, we kept it to ourselves. A few months ago, Katie planned a family trip. My brother and sister-in-law decided to opt out because they were cutting costs for the baby. Because of this, mom and dad decided to cancel the trip altogether and have another one later, since my mom's health wasn't too great either. This greatly annoyed Katie because she was really looking forward to the trip and she made

some very unsuttle remarks that Fred and Sarah shouldn't be having children if they don't have money. This very clearly upset both of them. Unfortunately, due to several complications, their baby was still born. It's been a month and my brother and sister-in-law are understandably still devastated. My sister-in-law's mental health is not very good right now. Yesterday I hosted a little family dinner at my home with my sister, brother, sister-in-law and our parents.

Sometime before dinner my sister-in-law went to the bathroom, and meanwhile my husband asked Fred if she was doing well. Before Fred could reply, Katie jumped in and said, Well, even though the loss is very sad, think of it as a good thing, at least you don't have to worry about money anymore. As I said, you shouldn't be bringing kids into this world unless you're sure that you can provide for them. Fred went red face and said they would have been able to provide for their child.

That they may not have money for extra luxuries, but they would have done everything for their child. He was almost crying and he was purple with anger. So I quickly dragged Katie away to the kitchen and demanded to know what had possessed her to say something so insensitive. She got incredibly defensive and said that she had made a very practical observation and she was 100% correct. She said that it was better to see straight than be clouded by emotions. By that time Sarah had come out of the bathroom and she was shocked to see Fred and Tears.

She became hysterical and demanded to know what was wrong. I knew that Katie's presence would ruin things further, so I asked her to leave. She looked incredibly hurt and angry, but she left anyways. Fortunately, our parents were late to arrive and they didn't see the whole spectacle. When they arrived and found out what happened,

they were shocked and upset at Katie too, but my mom thinks that perhaps I shouldn't have kicked out Katie like this. Am I the butthole? Opie adds, for clarity, KD is 24, so she ought to have enough maturity to know what to say. Opie, did your sister really just try to make fun of someone who had a stillborn? That's not a practical observation. That's a cruel, heartless jab meant to hurt someone's feelings. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. You acted exactly the way that you should have in that situation.

One of your guests deeply insulted one of your other guests, so it's very appropriate for you to kick them out of your house. Your sister, on the other hand, is a major butthole here. I'm giving here a 4.5 out of 5 buttholes. Why would you say that? Just because you're bitter about a vacation? This is a dead, stillborn child, and she's like making fun of that that's disgusting. And on top of that, it's just straight up objectively wrong.

Poor people all over the world have kids. In fact, most people who have kids are poor. Am I the butthole for telling a guy what I do for work and letting him pay for my drinks during the whole evening? My friend Grace invited me to a board game bar to play and have drinks with her, her boyfriend, and one of their friends, Nick. We went to get drinks in pair. Grace going with her boyfriend, meanwhile Nick and I stayed at the table and vice versa.

So Nick and I had plenty of time to talk, just a two of us. Nick started the night by telling about his recent career change. He decided to quit his previous job, go to a coding boot camp, and he got a job as a developer one or two months ago. He was very proud of himself and his new salary and told me this multiple times. He never asked me what I do for work,

but talked about his new job quite a lot, occasionally saying, sorry you don't understand that. During the entire evening, I never told him that I had been working as a software engineer for the past four years, because honestly, he never asked. I found it a bit entertaining. When it came to drinks, he offered to buy my drink every time. Don't worry about it, it's not a problem with my developer salary. I told him multiple times that he doesn't have to pay for me, but he insisted. At the end of the night, when we were saying our goodbyes, he took out his phone to send me a friend request on Facebook. My job is listed in my profile, so that was when he realized that I'm a software engineer.

He asked me if it's true that I'm a software engineer and I answered yes. He asked me why I didn't tell him that. Why did I let him believe that I was a cashier like Grace used to be, even though I never implied that? And why did I let him pay for everything when I probably earned more than he does? I told him that he never once asked what my job was and it was his fault that he assumed. He could have simply asked me about my job, but he only wanted to brag about his. But if he wants me to, I can pay him back for the drinks.

He was angry and said that I made a fool out of him. But I think that he did that, not me. Now grace and her boyfriend are on his side too, saying that it would have cost me nothing to tell him early in the evening, and I only kept it for myself for my own entertainments. Well, I did find it entertaining, but I don't really feel like I did anything wrong. Am I the butthole? Okay, hold on. So yeah, okay, you are making more, and I guess it would have been fitting for you to offer

that you make more money. The thing is, the guy was buying you drinks, and there's like a deeply established culture of, hey, person, can I buy you a drink? Just as like friends, or like if you're hitting on someone, so it's totally normal for someone to offer to buy you a drink for any reason, including no reason. As a matter of fact, him celebrating that he got a new job is a very, very logical reason for him to be like, hey, I've got extra money. Let me celebrate by buying you a drink. Woo, you know, like this is totally normal.

If you had intentionally deceived him in some way, then yeah, I could see how you're the butthole, but no. No, man, you did nothing wrong here. Especially if he was trying to hit on you, because buying someone a drink when you're trying to hit on them is like really, really normal behavior. The ironic thing is that if he really wanted to hit on you, then he probably would have had a lot more luck by having a shared thing that the both of you could have talked about

because you're both developers, right? But the guy chose to be condescending, so OP I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving Nick 1.5 out of five buttholes, and I'm giving Grace and her boyfriend zero point five out of five buttholes because they picked the wrong side on this one. Am I the butthole for refusing to give my husband my new Wi-Fi password? I'm a 32 year old woman, and my 30 year old husband and I are going through some financial struggles right now. The reason for this is because my husband lost his job.

He didn't earn much anyway working retail, being overworked and underpaid. He said the reason that he lost his job was because of his narcissistic boss. Money is tight, and the load fell on me completely to provide for us and pay for everything, including Wi-Fi. He promised to look for a job though. My husband started spending most of his time on his phone. I keep asking if he's looking for a job and he'd say yes, but it's been three months now. I grew suspicious because retail jobs are easy to find. On the other hand, I found myself paying so much

towards Wi-Fi service because of his endless time on the internet. I didn't say anything until I ran into his former boss at the supermarket. We talked about my husband, and I brought up how he had fired him, but he looked to me confused and told me he didn't fire him. My husband quit of his own free will after going on this long rant about how sick and tired he was of working retail and that he will never work in this field again.

I was shocked, but also fuming. I went home and confronted my husband. He admitted that it was true and asked me to understand because he was fed up with having to work as a server for rude, obnoxious people who don't respect him the way that they should. I asked what he was going to do then, and he said that he had been thinking of going back to school to earn a respectable degree and work a decent job. I asked where he would get the money to go back to school, and he shrugged and said that I could start a fund

for him with my salary, because like he said, he will not go back to retail. I lost it and told him that I won't save money for anything when I can barely manage as it is. Oh, and by the way, I told him I was losing so much money on Wi-Fi service so I changed the password, which prohibits him from using the internet again until he starts to help pay for it. He got mad and shouted that I was robbing him of his right to use the internet, but I

said that the internet is a privilege not a right, and he called me selfish and unsupportive. I left for work later, and he kept calling me telling me to give up the password but I kept refusing. Okay, when I was 16 years old, I went into play Final Fantasy 11, which is an MMO. My dad didn't want to pay for high speed internet, which I needed to play the game, so I decided, screw it, I'll just go get a job and I'll pay for the internet myself. And I did that. I drove my ass to subway, I made subs for snotty customers, then I got my paycheck, drove home, and played Final Fantasy 11. If a 16 year old boy who just wants to play video games can figure out how to get internet, then your husband can too, OP. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your husband gets 3 out of 5 buttholes.

I'm guessing, with no evidence to back this this up that your husband's been sitting around doing absolutely nothing for the past three months. Just browsing the internet, reading Reddit, maybe listening to some R-slash podcast episodes, you know stuff like that. Maybe, you know, leaving a five star review on the R-slash podcast because they're just so entertaining and he puts out daily content and you know it really helps out my podcast grow So I really appreciate it and if he does that then you know He's not that much of a butthole because I really appreciate it

Am I the butthole for not stopping my workout for someone to make a video? This is becoming more and more common at the surrounding gyms Which is really annoying and a reason that I've changed gyms more than once this year alone Working out is a pillar of my everyday life, and it has been for the past 10 years. I'm at the gym every day of the week. Now I don't go to the gym to talk to people, make friends or make funny videos. I go to train and go home. However, now with new video trends, many folks want to record their exercises to post on

social media. This is their business, not mine, they can do whatever they want, but I also don't think that I need to stop doing my own workout to accommodate them. Last night, I was doing squats on the Smith machine. I workout with headphones and I didn't notice someone was trying to get my attention. I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder mid-squat and only then did I notice a woman with a very annoyed expression. She barely allowed me to finish the movement to start talking which was muffled due to the headphones. Long story short, she was annoyed because I

was training in the Smith machine and she wanted to record herself doing regular squats. However, she said that the best spot was in front of that Smith machine, even though there's more than one spot, and she didn't want me in the frame, so she wanted me to stop my series so she could record. Now, usually, if someone comes to me with a good attitude and asks if it's okay for me to stop for a series or two for them to record or even move machines, I would absolutely not mind and imply. This woman did nothing of the sword, being extremely arrogant and honestly extremely annoying. So I was petty and I told her to record once I was done. Then I proceeded to do every single exercise I could do on that same Smith

machine. Squats Smith. Hip thrust Smith. It was petty and I know that I shouldn't have done it, but I felt very vindicated seeing her annoying expression. That being said, a few people said that I was a butthole for doing that, as there were other machines that I could use. Honestly, they might be right, but hey, I thought that I'd ask the internet. Was I too much of a butthole here? Well, that's the thing. If you could have

used other machines, then she could have used other machines. Right? Like, what's the problem? You have just as much of a right to be there as she does. You got there first. So tough luck. I guess. Okay, so the absence of nice isn't mean. It's just not being nice. So the nice thing would have been to be like, sure, you can use a spot. But because you don't do the nice thing, that doesn't mean that you're doing the mean thing instead. It just means that you're not doing the nice thing, you know. What you did was neutral. You were just finishing out your sets. And if you want to do that, you can do that. So you get zero out of five buttholes. She gets one out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole

for locking the door to prevent my husband from getting involved in my job interview? I'm a 33 year old woman who's unemployed, but God knows that I've been looking for jobs for well over five months right after I recovered from my knee surgery. I'm a sales rep. My husband has a high-paying job. First, he suggested that I leave my career as a sales rep behind and stay home, but I refuse because I love my job and I want to grow in it. He suggested that he could find me better jobs since he has connections, but those jobs

aren't in my field. I've had several job interviews, and my husband has ruined all of them. Here's how. He would walk into the room whenever I'm having a potential job interview, introduce himself, and take over the conversation with the interviewer. He would tell them about how good I am, but slip in some bad stuff and eventually cost me the job. His argument was that he's just making recommendations since he has connections and influence, but

I told him to stop and let me handle it. He salt, saying that he was just trying to guide me and what not. Several days ago, I'd gotten a job job interview and after getting inside the room but before the interview started I'd lock the door. My husband tried to come in and started knocking on the door asking why I was locking the door and telling me to let him in. I put my headphones on to cancel out the noise but he kept knocking telling me to open the door.

After the interview was over I unlocked the door and walked out. He went off on me, calling me disrespectful and awful to lock him out like that. I said I was sorry, I wanted to work for this company so badly and I couldn't let him ruin it for me. He got offended and said that I was being petty and childish and also ungrateful because of the stunt I pulled and he said that he was trying to help me get the best deal out there.

I said that I'm not a child, but he said that yes, I was, especially with how I behaved and for excluding him from my interview. Okay, one thing is super, super clear from this post OP. Your husband does not want you to get a job. Period, end of story. He's doing everything within his power to sabotage you. I don't know if he's like, worry that you're gonna cheat on him

or if he wants to control you or if he wants you to be dependent on him as a sole breadwinner or what, but obviously this guy is actively sabotaging your career. Sounds pretty abusive, to be honest. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving him 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my

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