rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole My Boyfriend Stole $14,000 from Me So I Got Him Arrested

Episode Date: August 9, 2022

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Welcome to R-slash. Am I the butthole where OP gets her boyfriend arrested? Am I the butthole for getting my boyfriend arrested? I'm a college student and this is my last semester until medical school. I've never been able to get alone so I've worked five and a half years to get this degree because I have to pay out of pocket so it takes way longer. I've worked two, sometimes three jobs at a time, and I've barely had a social life. For this upcoming semester, I reach my goal for tuition, so I quit one of my jobs so I could relax a bit. I always keep my cash hidden in my apartment

and a box in my closet. A week or two before the semester starts, I deposit the cash so I can pay my tuition. My boyfriend sometimes stays over when I'm there and when I'm not there. Since I've been saving for this semester, he's the only one who's been over, and I've never told him about the box, but he knows that I have to pay for school. Well, yesterday night I got home to put money in the box because I was going to deposit it, but today it's all gone. I freaked out and tore my apartment up thinking that I put it somewhere else, but knowing that I didn't. I called my boyfriend like crazy, but I got no answer.

I didn't sleep that night because I was panicking. Then this morning, he finally calls me back, and I'm yelling at him about my money, and he's acting all confused and like I'm crazy. When he comes over, I'm still pissed off. And after a while, he finally admits that he took it and he says that he just borrowed it and he'll pay me back. But where the hell is he gonna get $14,000 in two weeks? I went into a rage and called the cops and reported a theft

because that's what he did. Well, it's been hours now. And I guess he got his phone call because his family has been blowing my phone up and his mother has said some really hurtful and racist things to me. They've been harassing me for the past 6 hours now, and it's stressing me out even more. I hate that I'm feeling bad for him, but he stole my money that I've been saving up for for months.

His brother did call and he was respectful. He said that they would help him pay it back and I should just go to the police station with him and tell him that I want to drop the charges, but I really don't believe them. If I do that, I could never get the money back. I don't know what to do, and I hate that I'm contemplating doing this. I'm just really pissed off and I've been crying all effing day. Girl, this guy stole $14,000 from you. And let me see, you didn't say how much time had passed since like he stole the money. If you put in money every time you get paid, I'm gonna guess at most two weeks.

That kind of begs the question, right? What on earth did this guy spend $14,000 on in two weeks? Give her take, right? Like, oh my God, if you get paid every two weeks on average, then, you know, let's suppose you got paid, you put the money in, he steals the money, he's got 14 days to spend 14K as $1,000. Man, what is he spending a thousand dollars a day on?

OP do not drop the charges here. If you drop the charges you are never gonna see that money back. And even if you do press the charges, there's still no guarantee you'll see that money back. Also OP, I don't want to victim blame here, but you know maybe keep your money in a bank account. Anyways OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your boyfriend 4.5 out of 5 buttholes. The only reason why he confessed to the crime is because you freaked out so much that he thought that he had to. I'm also giving his family 3 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for telling the stepfather who raised me that he's not my dad when he didn't treat me like his son? My mom married my stepfather when I was only one. He had a one year old son and they had a daughter a year later together. My stepbrother and I are now 16 and our half sister is 14. My stepfather is the only father figure I know and I've always called him dad. My actual dad isn't in my life. Growing up, I always noticed that he treated me differently. He never mistreated me, but he was always more interested in his own kids than me. In fact, he always showed very little interest in me.

I've always felt like a second-class family member. My mom treats my stepfather exactly like she treats me, but my stepfather doesn't do the same for me. Anyway, the last couple of years have been difficult because my stepfather started doing stuff with my siblings. Like going on trips, going fishing or hiking, father children bonding moments as he calls it. But he's never taken me with them despite me asking to go.

Usually he'll say maybe next time, but I called him out last week and he took me aside and explained that this is for him and his kids. He said that I'm not his child and they are. He said that he loves me, but it's different. He said that he can't dilute the experience by bringing me as well, but he said that my mom can spend some mother-child moments with me and my sister if she really wants to as well. And that it would be good for us to have that only for us. This conversation happened on Friday before they went off for a weekend trip. My mom told me that this is how he feels. She can't change it, but she's made sure that I'm always treated equally when it comes to money, which is true, but she can't change the way that he feels, so I need to accept it. I've been thinking about this all weekend, and it was clear to me that since he doesn't

see me as his son, it's wrong of me to see him as my dad. So I decided that if I'm the stepchild he tolerates because of my mom, I'm not going to pretend like we're something more. I decided to stop calling him dad and go buy his first name. So on Sunday night, after they returned, I said, hi, Tom. He was surprised, but didn't say anything. At dinner, he asked me what that was about.

And I explained that I don't want to dilute the experience that he has with his real children by calling him dad when clearly I'm not his son. That's something that should be kept for his actual choice. I don't want to dilute the experience that he has with his real children by calling him dead when clearly I'm not his son. That's something that should be kept for his actual children. My mom told me to go to my room. Later, she came to me and said that I hurt him and I should apologize. I said that I'm just following his lead and I'm treating him exactly like how he wants

to be treated by his actions. And if he's hurt, then he should look in the mirror because that's his actions. My mom told me that in the end, this is the man who raised me all my life, and I need to apologize and show remorse. She says that he's 95% of the way of being a dad for me, so I shouldn't ignore all of that and focus on the missing 5% and reject him entirely. I declined and said that he's the one who needs to apologize if he wants to change things between us. Am I being the butthole in this situation? There's this phrase that I see on like t-shirts and coffee mugs and it's

super super cheesy. But like honestly it's true, I'm gonna be honest it's just true. The phrase is I'm not the stepfather, I'm the father who stepped up. And like as cringy as the be honest, it's just true. The phrase is, I'm not the stepfather. I'm the father who stepped up. And like as cringy as the phrase is, it's a hundred percent accurate. Opie, your stepfather is not the father who stepped up. At all. The reality is, if you want to date someone who has a kid and you're not prepared to be the parent of that kid 100%,

then you should not marry that person. I'm going to call it like it is OP. Your stepfather is a selfish, hypocritical jerk. Your mother also is a bad mother. Like, why do all these parents keep putting the weight of being the bigger person on the kids? So I'm gonna abuse you all your life and treat you like a second-class citizen.

And then it's your fault when you can't handle it with grace and dignity, give me a break. And it's not like you're going out of your way to pick fights with your dad. This is literally what he asks for. He said, hey, let's be father-son. He said, no, let's not be father-son. And he said, okay, let's not be father-son. And then, oh, no, why can't you act like a father-son?

Basically, OP, your parents want you to act like a son, even though he's not acting like a father. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your father and your mother four out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my roommate that his girlfriend can't stay anymore? I share an apartment with a friend that I've known for years. We're both 24-year-old guys. We've had this place for over a year and we've never had any real issues. We get along well and we do tons of stuff together. He works full-time in IMA University student. We split all the bills, food, and rent right down the middle. A few months

ago, he started seeing a girl, Tammy, who spends every day and night at our place. Tammy is also a university student and hates her studio apartment. Until recently, I've had no issue with Tammy being here and I've never asked her to pay for anything. She eats all of her meals at our place and she takes food to the university if she needs it. The way that I see it, my house made an eye just by a bit more food and it really doesn't matter. The other week I got home from university, went to the kitchen to make a coffee and when I opened the fridge I noticed some red bulls. I just assumed that my housemate had gotten them for us so I grabbed one and drank it. The next morning a breakfast Tammy opened the fridge

and then got super angry that one of her red bulls was missing. I said it was me and that I thought that my housemate had gotten them. She started telling me how she bought them for herself and I should have asked and that I needed to apologize for taking it. I was gonna tell Tammy that it's my fridge so I shouldn't have to ask for permission for stuff that's in it, but I didn't want to start a conflict so I just apologized. She demanded that I buy her a replacement. Since then, Tammy has started labeling any drinks or food that she brings for herself and makes a point of saying that it's hers. After all this, I've said to my housemate that I don't want her staying at our place unless she's going to start paying rent, paying for bills, and pitching into pay for food.

I don't want to pay for her anymore just so she can abuse me for taking a drink from my own fridge. Am I the butthole? Okay, so like, even if we get rid of all the context, which by the way is very solidly in your favorite OP, she still looks bad. Because she's coming into this house where she knows that you and your roommate are splitting all the bills. And then she puts a drink in your fridge and you drink it, which is an understandable mistake. But then like, she flips out on you and gets upset at you. This is like a really, really not a big deal type of situation.

You drink a red bowl? So what? She doesn't need to flip out at you over essentially a couple of bucks and a really reasonable misunderstanding. So even then she'd be the butthole. But when you add on top of that, the fact that she's living there rent free and also eating your food, for free, she's so much more of a butthole. OP, you are completely justified.

Kick Tammy out. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving Tammy two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for pressing charges against my girlfriend's friend for stealing my doll? I'm a 26 year old guy and I've been with my 26 year old girlfriend for almost four years.

Last year, I gave her a key to my house. She spends a few days a week there, but we don't live together full time. A few days ago I had to make a quick trip for work. She asked me if she could invite a few of her friends to my house for a girl's night. I agreed. I returned yesterday morning. The first thing that I noticed was that my rag doll was missing from the wall. My first instinct was to call my girlfriend to ask if she had put it somewhere.

She denied it and said the doll was still there, but it wasn't. I checked the doll's GPS. Yes, it has a GPS. The GPS showed the doll was at one of her friend's house. Let's call her Jess. I tried to be nice, and I told my girlfriend to tell Jess to bring it back before 5 p.m. And I'll pretend it never happened.

But if she doesn't, I will involve the police. She tried to fight me about it, but I told her about the GPS. Well, my girlfriend called me back saying that just a night having the doll. We had a huge argument and I warned her that I wasn't playing about getting the cops involved. I waited until 5 and I went to the police. We went to Jess's house and I got the doll back. I pressed charges too. My girlfriend and I had an even bigger argument about me pressing charges. Both my girlfriend and Jess know that this doll was made by my father. They could have stolen

anything else and I wouldn't even bat an eye. I gave her a friend a chance and she tried to play stupid. They've been calling me a butthole and telling me to drop the charges. Then OP clarifies that his father used to make dolls and this was the very first doll that he ever made. He gave it to OP and OP's had it ever since. Also, seven months ago, OP's house was robbed, but luckily they didn't take the doll. And since OP doesn't really care about his expensive items, but he does care about his doll, he installed a GPS device in the doll. Also, for some added context, OP admits that the doll looks a little bit freaky. It's kind of worn down in raggedy,

and it has X's for eyes, it kind of looks dead and OP has the doll sitting in his living room hanging on the wall. So with that in mind OP posted an update. My X came over yesterday and she was a mess. She explained that she actually had a problem with the doll, but instead of telling me about it she went to her friends. They told her that it was creepy and weird for a grown man to have a doll and that I was too attached to it. This only reinforced her feelings. This was a regular topic between them and they came up with ideas to get rid of the doll, but she never followed them until Thursday. Her friends were fed up with her not doing something because she and I were

planning to move in together. Before they all left, my ex and Jess talked. Oh, my ex, interesting. Okay, that's an interesting little information nugget to drop suddenly, okay? They agreed that Jess would take the doll and my ex would take care of the rest. My ex forgot about the GPS, and when I confronted her, she panicked. She actually called Jess and told her about it, but Jess told her not to worry that I wouldn't do anything about it, but she was obviously wrong. I broke up with her. She tried to plead with me and even suggested couple's therapy, but I just couldn't stand

being with her anymore. I called a lawyer, and he told me that I could continue trying to press charges, but more than likely nothing will come of it, even with my ex's confession, but still, he'll try. I've already changed the locks and I'm buying cameras for the whole house. OP, I'm really relieved to hear that you broke up with your girlfriend because she literally stole from you and lied about it. And like, what makes this so much worse is she never even respected you enough to come

to you and talk about her concerns. It's like, okay, she doesn't like the doll, she finds it creepy, understandable. Maybe OP would be okay with like keeping it in a box under his bed or like keeping it in his closet. She didn't even try diplomacy first. She just went straight to Thevery. And like the fact that she didn't even bother talking to OP

about this very simple problem makes me think that she wouldn't even talk to OP about future problems. Like oh, I am set at my boyfriend? Well, instead of resolving it peacefully, I'll just go have sex with a stranger and that will cheer me up. Like, you know, it's like a really screwed up, backwards, messed up mentality. Just deal with your problems like an adult, talk to them. Like reach some sort of common ground of mutual understanding.

Don't steal from your partner. That's so toxic. OPE, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your girl for 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash in my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. day.