rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole My Brother Hit On My Wife!

Episode Date: September 1, 2022

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Welcome to R-Slash. Am I the butthole where O.P.'s brother tries to hit on his wife? Am I the butthole for calling my brother a disgusting gross man at his daughter's birthday party? My brother, Paul, and I aren't close at all. We have very different world views and have incompatible personalities. I can tolerate him, but I would never consider him a friend. He's been married to Lisa for one or two years now, and they have a beautiful daughter together. My girlfriend, Amy and I, were invited to celebrate my niece's first birthday. Most of the family was invited, and it would be the first time that I would have seen them all together in years. Amy and I arrived a little bit earlier than we were supposed to, and instead of waiting in the car, we decided to go in. The first thing I noticed was how calm my brother seemed to be, in contrast to Lisa, who

was frantically running up and down. When my brother saw Amy, he immediately handed the baby over to her and got a beer and sat down to watch TV. Lisa was clearly struggling, but Paul was content with beer and Netflix. I don't want to be rude, and maybe this was a one time thing, but Paul was content with beer and Netflix. I don't want to be rude, and maybe this was a one time thing, but it bothered me how uninvolved he was. He handed Amy a baby with a full diaper and vomit on its clothes. Eventually, Amy, Lisa and I finished getting ready. The house was clean, the food was ready, and Lisa looked ready to host a

big gathering. We all paid zero attention to Paul. When my family arrived, I thought everything was going well. I avoided Paul, and I enjoyed speaking to my family. After we sat down to eat, Paul approached me drunk, thanking me for helping Lisa. I didn't want to be around him for long and moved out of his way. He was very persistent. I was ignoring him, but he started talking about Amy. He told me, Protect Amy like a real man, or you've got a great woman by your side.

You know what, whatever. It was slightly odd and mildly uncomfortable, but I was able to brush it off. Amy was trying to sober him up a little bit before the cake cutting, so she was selectively hearing. We tried to get him to stop talking and drink water. However, he had a lot to say about Lisa. He was complaining about how pregnancy ruined Lisa's body and how a baby ruined his life. Amy and I kept looking at each other awkwardly. We couldn't leave this conversation soon enough. He was complaining about his love life, lack thereof and commenting about how he desperately wanted to passionately hug with someone fit like Amy. This made both of us extremely uncomfortable. Amy left quickly apologizing to Lisa. I told him that he was a disgusting gross man

who needs some effing help before I left. Apparently, this made him super upset and he started crying at the party. Paul told everyone that the reason that he was crying was because of what I said to him. He got over it quickly, but a few people told me that I was wrong to shame a father on his child's birthday. I could have probably left without making a statement. Am I the butthole? Shaming a father on his child's birthday? Okay, what behavior here is indicative of a father? How is this guy acting like a father? By getting drunk at his kids birthday? By ignoring his wife? By disrespecting his child by saying that the child ruined his life? By disrespecting his wife? By saying that his wife's body is ruined? By disrespecting his

entire family? And your family family by saying he wants to sleep with your girlfriend, OP. Oh my god, OP, you gave him exactly the amount of respect that he deserves as a father. Like when I started reading this story, I was trying to figure out, huh, I wonder why he has such a strained relationship with his brother. Like what's the deal there? Do they have history? Do they date the same girl in high school or something?

But I'm getting a pretty good sense. Your brother's just a douchebag. He's a whiny, entitled disrespectful, borderline cheating douchebag. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. Paul gets 3.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for lapping at my neighbor and calling them stupid before closing the door on them?

I'm a 25 year old guy, and I live in my family's cottage which I was given ownership of. The cottage itself is a waterfront property facing a medium-sized lake. My family's been living here for generations, as my great-grandfather originally bought it before passing it down, and eventually I got it. My neighbors are a different story, because many of the people that I've known since childhood have moved out. The houses that my neighbors once had have been torn down and replaced with designer-style homes. With the construction of these homes came new neighbors and an HOA, of which I am NOT a member.

My problem started with my next door neighbor, Sophie, a 55-year-old woman, over fishing. One day after doing some canoe fishing, I was approached by Sophie on my beach. She asked if it was legal to fish on the lake, and I said it was as long as you pay the $25 per year license fee. After that, I said that I had to go because I'd caught some fish and I wanted to start processing them for dinner because it was getting late. After our conversation, I didn't hear from her for over two weeks. My next encounter

with Sophie wasn't in person, but instead, threw a letter. In the letter, she wrote about how dangerous fishing is to the environment and why I should stop. In response, I chose to simply chuck it in my recycling bin and ignore her because it wasn't worth my time. My most recent encounter with Sophie was two days ago when I had some friends over. It was in the afternoon. I was running back to my house along with one of my friends to grab some more beers. While grabbing the drinks, we heard a knock at the door. When I answered the door, it was Sophie and she had another letter. Before handing me the letter, she said that she tried to be diplomatic and now she's had enough and has a letter from the HOA. Admittedly, I was a bit tipsy at the time, and in response, I laughed and called her stupid for believing the HOA could do anything before closing the door on her. After sobering up, I feel conflicted.

On the one hand, I feel that I was justified in my actions because my fishing is none of her business. On the other hand, I feel that I could have dealt with her in a more tactical way. Am I the butthole? Opie, you are not the butthole here, and I sincerely look forward to hearing more stories about your care and neighbor. How exactly is one guy fishing by himself bad for the environment? Anyways, you get zero out of five buttholes. Your neighbor care and gets one out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for banning my husband from visiting my sister with me because he won't stop trying to debate her and her husband? My sister Marie, who's 29 and her husband's act, who's 40 had their first child, a beautiful baby girl two months ago.

They've been pretty nervous parents, so when my husband Tom, who's 42, and I, who's 37, were invited to finally meet our niece, I was thrilled, except I was worried about Tom making a fool of himself. You see, my husband Tom and my sister Marie have always had a hard time getting along because they don't agree on nearly anything. And Tom has always gotten a kick out of challenging Marie on their differing views because they're both very opinionated. The thing is, Tom thinks it's funny to watch Marie react when he says things to provoke her. And Marie always wants to prove that his views are wrong.

According to Tom, because Marie was in grad school for social sciences and is knowledgeable about the topics that Tom wants to argue about, Marie shouldn't have a problem with debating him because it's literally her job. In the past, both Tom and Marie have initiated these arguments, and they've both been guilty of taking it too far in the past. But ever since Marie has gotten pregnant and had a baby, she's calmed down a lot, whereas Tom still tries to bait her into debates about touchy subjects. Mainly about politics and personal values. This has gotten to a point where Marie has

blocked him on all social media a few months ago. Before we went to visit, I asked Tom to just be nice to Marie and Zach and not start anything. Tom said that he would try his best. I told him that I would be very upset with him if he tried to bait Marie or Zach into an argument. Tom started out the evening pretty strong and kept to himself until it was revealed that Zach was going to be the one to stay home with her daughter. Tom made a comment like, oh I thought the mom was supposed to do that. Zach said that it was pretty sexist for my husband to say that. And when Tom asked

how, Zach told him that moms can have careers too. And that Marie shouldn't just give up on all the hard work that she just did. Tom started on a tangent and Marie cut him off and told him to either quit or leave because she's done entertaining his nonsense. Tom laughed it off, but it was still very awkward after this. We didn't stay for long after that, and when we got home I told Tom that I was done with him embarrassing me and that he's not allowed to join me whenever I visit Marie again. If I'm even invited back. I told him that it doesn't make him look smart when he always insists on having these conversations, that it just makes him look like a douche and me look like a fool. Tom said that I'm blowing this way out of proportion, and that it's not his fault

that they get so offended and that if anything, they were rude to kick him out over his opinion. But Marie didn't do anything to him this time. She didn't snap back at him. She didn't call them names. She just asked him to stop. Am I the butthole? Am I being unreasonable? I hope this doesn't piss people off in the comments.

But when I started reading this, I was thinking to myself, this sounds like the classic liberal family members can't get along with conservative family members. And I was trying to figure out which side was liberal and which side was conservative or if I just misread the situation, but as soon as OP's husband said, oh, I thought the mom was supposed to do that. I'm like, aha, I was 100% correct.

Marie and her husband are liberal and OP and her husband are conservative. And you know, I'm like, ah-ha, I was 100% correct. Marie and her husband are liberal and OP and her husband are conservative. And you know, I'm not trying to say that one group is right or wrong. I'm not trying to make this a political argument, but this is just like a tail is old as time. And like, you know that you know the stereotype of the like racist douchebag uncle who always ruins Thanksgiving with his extreme misd. That's what OP's husband is gonna be like to Marie's daughter. Okay, so anyways OP your husband's being a douchebag. The fact that he has to argue like he literally can't stop disrespecting other people's lives. It's honestly kind of like the behavior you'd expect from like a 16 year old.

You know the smug, smarmy 16 year old who thinks they know everything about the world and they just have to share their opinions. But this guy's like what, he's 42? Come on man, just let other people live their lives. Who cares who stays home? If he's gonna come into other people's homes and then disrespect the way they choose to live their lives, then he can't be surprised when they kick him out. And it's not your sister who's blowing things out of proportion OP, it's your husband. He's the one who can't let things go. OP, you and your sister get zero out of

five but holes. Your husband gets two out of five but holes. Am I the but hole for telling my daughter that she can live with me under one condition? I'm a 34 year old man and 10 years ago I had a daughter, Nova. I was a terrible person back then. I didn't stay in her life and I deeply regret it. A few months ago, I contacted her mom to see if I could see my child. She happily agreed to co-parent with me and seemed relieved, which was understandable

considering she had four other kids, all younger than Nova. Nova was a bit distant at first, but now we're doing better. She's generally a very good kid, but something I realized about her is that no punishment seems to work on her, and also she can be very disrespectful at times. If I tell her to do something as punishment, she won't do it, or if I ground her, she'll just leave without my permission. I asked her mom how she punishes her, and she said that she's never punished Nova before. Based on what I've heard from Nova, it seems like her mom would

just cuss her out and yell at her, which I don't think is a good punishment for a kid. Two nights ago, Nova asked me if she could live with me from now on. I told her I'd love that, but she can only live with me under one condition. She has to follow my rules and be respectful. She didn't say anything after that. After she went back to her mom's home, my mom, who was there when Nova asked me this, told me that I was a butthole because if a kid is asking her did beat dad to take her in, there must be something very wrong. So you can't make conditions for her, you just say yes and you take her in. Was I really wrong to have this condition? I can't make conditions for her. You just say yes and you take her in.

Was I really wrong to have this condition? I can't be a parent if she doesn't listen to me, but now my mom and my daughter refuse to talk to me. Yeah, Opie, you're a major, major butthole here. It is not a 10 year old girl's responsibility to earn the right to live with her father, right? She's 10. Dude, she's 10. A father's loved his daughter shouldn't be conditional on good behavior. It should be unconditional because that's what parents are supposed to do. Love their kids unconditionally. And like, the fact that she's not responding well to punishments is because neither you nor her mother are actually disciplining her.

So like, who's surprised that she's not responding to punishment? I'm not surprised. O.P., it's time to stop making excuses and start actually raising your daughter. I'm giving your daughter zero out of five buttholes, and I'm giving you 3.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for not wanting to see my dad's affair, baby? Nope, next story. Am I the butthole for leaving the restaurant see my dad's affair baby? Nope, next story. Am I the butthole for leaving the restaurant after my boyfriend refused to pay for my meal? I'd let my boyfriend some money a few weeks ago because of something he needed and he promised

to pay me back ASAP. He was supposed to pay me back five days ago, but something came up and he didn't. I tried to be patient. Yesterday we planned to go out with some friends at night for dinner. However, as I came back from work, I was robbed on the bus and I had all my money and card stolen. I canceled my cards on the phone, but the bank customer service person told me that my new cards wouldn't be available until later, and the banks were closed that afternoon so I had no money. When I went to dinner with my boyfriend and friends, I asked my boyfriend to pay me back the money he owes me, or at least pay for

my meal since I had no money. He didn't exactly say yes or no, just a simple, don't worry. As we ordered, he only ordered for himself, and told me that he can't cover for mine at the moment, so I better not order anything and just have some bites from his meal instead. I was so mad and frustrated because he had promised to give me back the money. He then claimed that something came up and couldn't pay me back, but then ordered a nice meal for himself and just told me to get his scraps because he wouldn't pay me back or at least for my meal. If I'd stayed, I'd be the only one sitting there with no meal in front of me.

I said that this is ridiculous and I got up and left. Our friends told me that it was very low of me to get up and leave and how I should just be polite and stay there. I can't quite understand that logic, but is there any way that I'm the butthole? All right, down in the comments, people are asking OP if she told everyone else at the table whether or not she got robbed. And OP clarifies, yeah, it's pretty much the very first thing that she said when she sat down. So like, what I can't understand is, how is it possible that literally none of your friends, including your boyfriend offered to buy you a meal? And even if we give your boyfriend the extreme

benefit of the doubt, let's suppose your boyfriend only has $20 to his name, so he really can't pay you back because he just doesn't have the money. In that case, he shouldn't order his own meal, he should order a meal and split it with you, or just, you know, suffer and buy you a meal because you just got robbed, but instead he's like, oh well, tough luck, sweetheart. Anyways, I have the burger with fries, please. Opie, I think you might need to re-evaluate your relationship with your friends and your boyfriend, because this is not the way that I would treat one of my friends if they got robbed on the way to see me.

Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttles. I'm giving everyone else in this story 1.5 out of five buttles. That was our slash of my The Buttles, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. That was our slash of my The Blood Hole, and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.