rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole My Brother Slept with Both My Wives

Episode Date: July 5, 2022

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Welcome to R-slash. Am I the butthole where OP steals his own daughter's inheritance? Am I the butthole for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself, and he would be incredibly lucky of his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? I married my husband three years ago. He was divorced and before that a widower. He has two daughters, Annie, who's 26 from his first marriage, and Amy 17 from a second. My husband told me about his late wife, his ex-wife, and the issues that he had

as a blended family when he remarried. And Annie was not on board with him remarrying, which strained and eventually ended his second marriage. He also told me that Annie never forgave him for remarrying and never wanted anything to do with Amy or him after she turned 18. What he didn't tell me was the major role that he played in all of this. I found this out three weeks ago at a dinner with his extended family. Here's the story as I know it. When Amy was around five years old, she took a special interest in a necklace that belonged to my husband's late wife. My husband gave the necklace to Amy, which upset Annie because all of her mother's possessions

were meant to go to her. My husband told Annie that it was just one item, and she needed to get over it because Amy was entitled to have something too. Annie brought up to my husband, that was the necklace that her mother wore the most. My husband told Annie that this was a special gift that she had to give to her sister. That she was being selfish. His ex-wife told her that her mother would want someone as special as your sister to have a piece of her as well.

Annie never got over it. She tried to take it from Amy and was punished for it. The last time that Annie saw any of them, she told them all to go to Effing Hell. Amy still has the necklace too. She let it get damaged and she talks about it as if her dad bought it for her. I was shocked. I never would have expected my husband to be that way. He was very unapologetic about it and told me Annie would have to get over it someday.

I told him that he should be ashamed of himself, that he should have allowed Annie to inherit her mother's possession so that she could do what the mess she chose, that Amy didn't care at all about his late wife or the significance of those items, but Annie would have. I told my husband that he would be incredibly lucky if his daughter ever speaks to him again, and I wouldn't blame her if she never did. He was furious that I judged him. His family said that I should take my husband's side over his daughter, who I don't even know. Am I the butthole?

Imagine being a little girl, under the age of 10 ten who has just lost one of your parents and you're deeply grieving. Meanwhile your dad very quickly remarries, which I'm not going to blame him for if he wants three marry, I feel like that's his right. But while you're processing the grief as a young child, your father then shows clear favoritism towards his new family and his new daughter and even steals your literal birthright from you to give to his new daughter. Wow.

Wow. That is cold as ice. The one thing that I wish was mentioned in this story is whether or not there was a will because if there wasn't a will, then yeah, you would certainly expect that necklace to go to the daughter, right? But if there was a will and the necklace literally was supposed to go to the daughter, then that makes it ten times worse. In any event OP, you are not the butthole.

You have every right to judge him because what he did is worthy of being judged. You get zero out of five buttholes. Any get zero out of five buttholes. Your husband gets 4.5 out of five buttholes. What he did to his own daughter is awful. Will I be the butthole if I don't go to my brother's wedding over a bridesmaid stress? I'm currently in medical school and live across the country from my brother and family. I was surprised when his fiance asked me to be a bridesmaid because I barely know her,

but she wants to have all the siblings in the wedding. I made it clear that their wedding was during my final exam week, and while I was able to get accommodation to take my last two days early, I still wouldn't be able to help much with planning or be present with things like the Bachelor Party or bridal shower. She said this was fine, it was mostly just to have an even number of bridesmaids to groomsman for the pictures. There was a group chat that was created months ago that I would read through every couple of days to get updates on things that I needed to do, namely to order a bridesmaid stress. Links were sent with three styles to choose from and we would

be updated on colors later. So a couple of weeks go by and I ask what color to order. The bride says that she's still thinking about it. A couple more weeks go by and she's still thinking. Then a couple more weeks, you get the idea. Now it's at the point that if I don't order this dress in a couple of days, it won't be here in time. So on Saturday, I ask what color the dress should be. I get no response in the group chat. Yesterday, Sunday, I ask again what color do I need to order the dress in. Then I'm flooded with messages lambasting me for not ordering a dress

yet from her sisters, my sister, and her. My sister called me and told me to get my act together and to order a dress already because my lack of preparedness is causing the bright intense anxiety because she doesn't think my dress will be here on time for the wedding now. She texted me this morning, don't forget to order your dress, love you with smiling and kissing emojis. But still, no one has told me the color. I've scoured the group chat for a mention of dress colors or an image of the dress, but only the maid of honor sent a photo of her dress, and I don't know if she has the

right color. There's thousands of messages, so it's not simple to find anything. Everyone else can meet in person, so I assume the decision on color was relayed in person, but I can't tell if I'm being purposefully excluded. About an hour ago, my brother called me pleading with me to work things out with the bride because she's panicking about me. I tried to explain this to him, but he told me that he doesn't care. It's a petty lady's issue. And since I'm not there for anything else, this is the least that I can do because the bright things that I don't like are because I wouldn't come to anything.

He's taking her side. They know that I'm in medical school, that I have literally no say in my schedule, and I'm on the other side of the country 5.5 hours away by plane. I'm fed up with him, and I'm contemplating telling my instructors the wedding was moved and I'll take my exams at the regular time. I'd have more time to study that way anyway. I haven't told anyone in my family that I'm considering this. Will I be the butthole? Upt... This post is so ridiculous.

Update! I called my mother and asked her what color the bridesmaid dresses are. She said, lavender. The only color options on the website that I would call close to lavender are named pearly lilac, periwinkle, and orchid purple. I texted the maid of honor, the bride's sister, to ask what dress color and got a multi-paragraph long lecture about not having ordered my dress yet. Basically,

that they're trying so hard to accommodate me with me being across the country by including me in this group chat. She said that she doesn't remember the shade name, but that it's dusty purple. Then, she sent a blurry picture of a wrinkled order confirmation, and the shade name was Mulberry. On the dresses website, that's a darker like wine purple color. I told her this and she said to order the lighter dusty purple color. I sent her a screenshot with the list of shade names and asked which of these colors do I order. And she said she didn't know because everyone ordered their dresses so long ago and asked for pictures of the dresses in different shades from the websites. So I sent screenshots

of all the light purple colors. I got no response for a while, so I called her on her phone, which she was upset about because it was past 10 PM over there now. Her response was, Look, I don't care what your problem is with me and my sister, but if you want to stay in good standing with this family, you need to get your ducks lined up, girly. I ignored her lecture and comments and just asked, what color?

Her response? Light purple. Of the three light purples that I sent, which one is it? I don't remember, I'll have to ask one of the other bridesmaids for her receipt, I'll get back to you. I want to bash my head into a wall. I called my second brother, the one not getting married. He said that they're pulling similar things with him and he feels like he was deliberately

given the wrong dates for the bachelor party by the best man, the brides brother, so that he would miss it. He inadvertently learned about the change date the morning of and when he asked the best man, he told him that it must have slipped his mind to tell him. Then he joked that he wouldn't have missed much since he probably wouldn't enjoy the festivities anyway. They've been making homophobic jokes and comments to him that he's been ignoring, but he thinks that they're trying to get him to back out of the wedding. So if we both back out, then there'll be an even number of bridesmaids and groomsmen

again. This is only speculation on our parts, of course. Opie, at this point there's only one move left to make. Where? Where? Whites. Just get the purest snow white dress you can find on that website and show up rocking white. I'm sure they won't mind. After all, why does the most neutral color, right? No, and all serious ness, OP, you're not the butthole here. This is so funny. I really can't tell either if they're intentionally gaslighting you because they don't like you, or if they're just so stupid and can't communicate a basic color palette to you.

Scrum OP, if I were your shoes, I'd probably be like, eh, eh, I can't cope it. I don't think I can come. Eh, eh, eh, have fun. Am I the butthole for telling my stepmom that she can use the missing child support payments to fund my part of my dad's gift? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, that my dad loved a parent instead of me. After they got together, I saw him at best seven to eight times a year because they moved five hours away. A year later, he had a change of heart and demanded 50-50 custody, which made me miserable. He built a room for me

at his new house, tried to fill the missing years with new gifts, and even planned a big birthday party for my twelfth birthday. By 13, I stopped going over to his place. For me, he just wasn't my dad anymore. After he left, my mom's brother, who was only 25 at the time, took me in as one of his boys. My mom and I moved back to my grandparents' place and my uncle lived next door. He already had a kid and he was always there

for me. My uncle has always acted like my father while my aunt is a second mother for me and my cousin is like the brother that I never had. When I stopped going to my biological dad's house, my mom had to get a second job so I used to sleep in my uncle's pretty much every day. I didn't understand why until last year, when my grandpa told me that my dad had stopped paying child support out of spite, and my mom didn't have the money to take him to court. Ever since I turned 15, Father's Day is about my uncle for me.

My cousin and I make him breakfast and plan a fun day with him with a small gift. And now that I'm 18, my stepmom sent me a Facebook message saying that I'm old enough to pay my part for my biological dad's gift. This year his stepkids want to give him a car and I should put in 10%, which is like $2,000. I just sent her a lowly meme and said that she could use my missing child support payment to cover it.

She blocked me and later on whenever kids sent me a butthole message. Am I the butthole? No, I mean, no, you're not the butthole. What are they thinking? How much is child support? Okay, hold on. Average child support, payment, and US. I assume this is in the US.

Okay, child support payments average $430 per month. That's it. $5,000 annually, that's it. $5,000 annually. That's how much it costs to have a kid nowadays? $5,000 a year? Wow, that's so much lower than I thought. Well anyways, $5,150 per year, time, six years, because he stopped at age 13, is $30,900.

Okay, so yeah, you and your mom have effectively already bought your dad a car. So you have nothing to worry about, OP. Also, people down in the comments are saying that there's no statute of limitations on child support. So your mom can still sue your dad. Maybe for Father's Day, your dad could buy your mom a car. Anyways, OP, you and your mom get zero out of five but holes.

Your step mom gets two out of five but holes, and your dad gets four out of five but holesoles. Your stepmom gets two out of five buttholes and your dad gets four out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for announcing the reason why I didn't invite my brother to my wedding, exposing him to the entire family? I'm a 30-year-old guy and I got married two weeks ago. I was married before, but it ended after I found out that my older brother, Thomas, got involved with my first wife. It was devastating because we were close and had a great relationship. I also helped him so much while he was struggling, and seeing how he repaid me hurts me to this very day.

I stopped talking to him, and mom and dad forced me to keep it a secret, and because I was too weak to argue with him, I just keep my own distance. Then I met my now fiance. My family loved and embraced her as their own. Mom and dad treated like a queen, which helped repair and solidify my relationship with them. However, as the wedding was approaching, they told me they expected me to invite Thomas. I, of course, refused, but they kept gilting

me about what the relatives and other guests would think and say when they didn't see Thomas there. I've been fighting with them about it until the day of the wedding. It turns out they had invited him behind my back, but I found out and stopped them in time. They came to the wedding looking pissed, asking what we were gonna tell people when they ask about Thomas. I told them I'd take care of it. And what I did was take a moment while everyone was paying attention. Grabbed the mic and said, the reason I didn't invite Thomas to my wedding is because I was worried he would steal my now-wife just like he stole the first one. I said it playfully to not make it sound so tense, but most of

the guests looked shocked and started mumbling. Then it went awkwardly quiet for a moment. Then we moved on, but I saw mom and dad walk out while looking at me begrudgingly. Later, they started lashing out about how I just exposed Thomas and caused him to be shunned by the family in the most hideous of ways. I told him that I already said that I didn't want him there, but they tried to push him on me repeatedly saying, what are people going to say? So I told him the reason why he wasn't there in a playful way, but the guest still got the message. Mom started yelling about how everyone would look down on Thomas and shun him.

She called me pathetic and cruel for still punishing him and for gradually ruining his life despite him apologizing and trying to reconcile, but in my opinion, some things are just unforgivable. We've been on horrible terms since then. Am I the butthole? My wife said that at least now they're going to be off my back about what people would say about not inviting him. Um, okay, so this post is listed as not the buttholes, so I think that I'm actually going to differ from most people here because I actually feel like this is an everyone sucks here situation. I mean, yeah, obviously, what your brother did was awful, he deserves 5 out of 5 buttholes,

some actions are indeed unforgivable. Also, what your parents did was awful. Going behind your back and forcing you to reconcile when you're not ready was terrible. They get 4.5 out of five buttholes. And like, yeah, it's your wedding. So if you wanna air your dirty laundry in public, then that's on you.

You know, no criticism there. However, on your own wedding ceremony, you implied that you thought that your wife was a slut, essentially. I mean, if you thought your wife was loyal, then you wouldn't have to worry about your brother stealing her, too, right? But the fact that you said you're concerned that your brother's going to steal this wife too implies that you think that she's a cheater, or at least that she's capable of

it. You could have said, I didn't invite Thomas because he stole my first wife, so that damaged our relationship and I don't want to be around him. But no, you also had to throw your wife under the bus by implying that she's a cheater too to everyone else, which is really insulting. And then on top of that, is your wife even okay with you making a public scene about the wedding? Because now everyone's going to be talking about that instead of how beautiful the bride

looked and how amazing the ceremony was. like you really kind of ruined her day. So unless your wife gave you the thumbs up to say this, which I doubt, I'm giving you 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Insulting your own wife on your wedding day is pretty disgusting. That was our slash of my The Butthole and if you liked this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.