rSlash - r/AmITheA--hole My Crazy Fiancé Got Kicked Off a Plane

Episode Date: December 22, 2022

https://www.youtube.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-slash, am I the butthole where OP's mother-in-law keeps trying to catch a glimpse of OP naked? Am I the butthole for doing weird and awkward poses whenever my mother-in-law accidentally walks in on me in the bathroom? I'm a girl by the way. So my mother-in-law came to stay with us for a few weeks until her home is renovated for Christmas. The problem is that she's been randomly walking in on me while I'm in the bathroom. Thankfully, not once has she seen me naked because I started picking up on her behavior after the second time in a week. She'd barge in, then turn around and say, oh, sorry, then close the door. I tried talking to my husband about it, but he kept ignoring me, then flat-out

said, so what if she accidentally sees you naked, she's family! He seriously said that. We have a lock and I could have used it, but I have passed trauma from the idea of being locked in a room after my brother locked me in the bathroom when I was five. So I came up with an idea. I'd go inside the bathroom pretending to use it and wait for her to come, because honestly, at this point I know that it's deliberate. When she accidentally barges in she'd see me in a weird or awkward position. For example, doing a ballet stand, standing on the toilet, or standing

facing the wall with my hands up. Fully clothed, of course. I could see how awkward and weird this would be for her because she'd stand there for a few seconds trying to figure out what I was doing. It was hilarious at first seeing her initial confusion, but she told my husband about it, claiming, I caught her practicing rituals in the bathroom. I cleared things up and revealed the reason why. My husband was livid. He called me childish and said that I made his mom feel terrified and weirded out by my behavior. He said that I should have acted maturely and locked the door instead of playing mind games.

Um, alright, I'm in my 30s. You know how many times I've walked in on someone in the bathroom? Probably less than five times in my entire life. Why? Because if you look at the bathroom and the lights on, and you can tell the lights on by looking at the board at the door, that's like a cue, like, oh, okay, maybe someone's in the bathroom and the lights on and you can tell the lights on by looking at the board of the door. That's like a cue like, oh, okay, maybe someone's in the bathroom. This woman walked in on you by the sound of this story. It sounds like 10 plus times over the course that she was here. There's no way that's an accident. That is intentional.

So why is she doing that? Is she trying to catch you? Pinch and went off, I guess? So this woman barges in on you in your own bathroom, in your own home, and then gets mad at you for doing weird stuff in your own bathroom. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. All you did was match craziness with craziness. I'm giving your mother-in-law 1.5 out of five buttholes for not respecting privacy, and

I'm also giving your husband 1.5 out of five buttholes for not respecting privacy, and I'm also giving your husband 1.5 out of 5 buttholes for not supporting his wife. Am I the butthole for pretending not to know my fiance after she had a meltdown during boarding the plane and was eventually thrown off? I imagine that I'm gonna get raked over the coals for this one. So my fiance, maybe not for much longer, and I were on our way back from vacation recently. It was a great time and everything went off without an issue. That is, until we started boarding the plane. Now I know better, I only bring a small backpack with essentials in case I don't get my checked bags.

I can survive out of this backpack and it will always pass baggage check for size and weight. I've done a lot of traveling, so why fight the system? My fiance didn't want to listen to my advice and chose to bring basically a regular full-size bag that barely fits the standards of a carry on. But generally speaking, the airline worker doesn't want to deal with the trouble and just allows it through. But this time, the airline worker just wasn't having it. It was a packed flight, we were boarding

last in economy, and it was just a mess. I got through just fine first with my little backpack, but I could hear the argument from the boarding tunnel thingy, and it was getting heated. I was about to go back and try to smooth it out, but my fiance rushed past me and just boarded the plane. I assumed not having heard the argument super clearly that the attendant had just given in and let her on, but that was not the case. So we found our seats and settled in. I was pretty tired and I could tell that she was upset, so I just kind of tucked into the window and put my hat down and tried to take a nap. But soon after, the airline worker and a cop shows up and they were not effing around.

They wanted her off the plane. She tried to plead, cry, etc. but they were not having it. And then, maybe in a moment of panic, are just plain self-preservation the cop asked for it together and I blurt out, no shaking my head emphatically. I got killing dagger eyes from her as she shot up and grabbed her bag and followed the cop out. She was swearing and screaming the whole way out. Now that I'm posting this, obviously this is well after the event. But when she did eventually get home, she caught the next flight out with her bag checked. Lowl, I was there to pick her up.

She obviously thought that I was the butthole and to be honest almost everyone I know thinks that I'm a butthole except for my boss and co-workers who for context were very much relying on me to be back on time which I gave my word that I would because we have a really important project that was time sensitive. They were all very happy that I didn't get thrown off too. So am I the butthole for this self preservation? Um OP, you said that this is your fiance, not your wife. Uh, so it's not too late. I just went through that out there. You can change your mind at any points and not marry this woman. I mean like, yeah, you should stick by your

partner and support your partner. But um, getting put on the no-fly list is kind of a big deal. Getting arrested, kind of a big deal. Getting fired from your job because you promised your boss you would be there and then you didn't show up because you were in an airport fight with your wife is kind of a big deal. I think personally, if I were in your shoes um shoes and my wife had some sort of weird blowup like this, I would probably get off the plane with her because this is kind of what falls under the four worse category when you make your vows for better or for worse. So like yeah, I would probably disembark from the plane and join my wife just as like a show of support I guess, but I wouldn't be

happy about it and I can't blame other people for not making the same decision that I would have made. So I think I'm going to give you 0 out of 5 but holes here. Your wipe, however, gets 2 out of 5 but holes. I hope you see this red flag for what it is, OP. Am I the but hole for refusing to participate in my boyfriend's family's tradition? I went to Thanksgiving at my boyfriend's family's house. I admit his parents and sisters a couple of times, but this was my first time meeting his more extended family. He said they make a whole day of it, so we would be hitting over around 10am. When we arrived, there were several men sitting in the living room watching football.

My boyfriend introduced me to his brother, brother-in-law, uncles, and some cousins. His dad was also there. There was a cooler in the middle of the room, and my boyfriend grabbed a beer and sat down to watch the game. His mom and sister came in to say hi, and his mom says, perfect timing. We're just getting going in the kitchen. Come on, let's get you a drink. I go to the kitchen, and there are several women in there. They have Christmas movies on the TV, and most of them are doing some kind of food prep. I grab my drink and go back and sit with my boyfriend. I tried to strike

up a conversation, but the guys were super into the game. After a while, I take my boyfriend to the side and tell him that I feel awkward since I'm not into football and no one's really talking to me. He told me, then go hang out in the kitchen, the girls talk up a storm. The family tradition is for the guys to watch football and the ladies to hang out in the kitchen and make the meal. I told my boyfriend that I found that extremely misogynistic

and I wasn't interested in going to the kitchen while the men sat around drinking and watching TV. I ended up just sitting around awkwardly watching them all talk sports until basically dinner was served at which point they got up, got a plate, and went back to watching TV. I told my boyfriend later that I was upset, and he said that I was overreacting. I told him it was awkward because I didn't like sports, and I didn't want to be banished to the kitchen with the women.

I told him that I didn't really feel like I got to know anything about his family, except they have a messed up tradition. Am I the butthole? Okay, Opie. So like, yeah, you didn't learn a lot about the family, but you did learn a lot about your boyfriend. You learned that your boyfriend doesn't want to spend Thanksgiving with you. You learn that your boyfriend is sexist. You learn that your boyfriend isn't concerned with your feelings or sympathizing with you. You learn that your boyfriend is lazy. You learn that your boyfriend won't give you a heads up if you're going to be stuck in an awkward position. And you learn that if you take your boyfriend aside and say, hey, boyfriend, I'm really uncomfortable here, he'll say, do with it and go back to what he was doing. So, um, I think your boyfriend has blessed you, OP, because this is a glimpse into your

future if you continue to stay with this man. So like, in the grand scheme of things, what your boyfriend did wasn't that bad. Like, I'm not going to pass judge about his family tradition. There's lots of families where the women cook and the men don't. So like, that's the case, then that's their family dynamic. I'm not going to criticize that. What I can criticize is your boyfriend not giving you any heads up about what to expect, not spending time with you, not rescuing you from the situation when you said you weren't

comfortable, and just basically expecting you to cook and serve people that she doesn't know for the entire day. So I'll give the boyfriend 1.5 out of 5 buttholes and I'm giving OP 0 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for using flashcards to explain to my brother and his wife why they can't bring their rainbow baby to my wedding? My fiance and I are getting married. We've decided that our wedding is going to be child-free. No hate towards children. We just want to keep it more organized and contained. My brother Chris and his wife have a three-year-old son who everyone calls a miracle or a rainbow baby.

He came after several failed pregnancies that lasted for years. When they found out that my nephew was included in the no children role, they tried to convince me to make an exception for him. Chris told me his son is a miracle baby and his presence at the wedding will bring blessings for me and my fiance. I refused and said no, the wedding is child-free. His wife kept sending my fiance pics of my nephew when he was months old, like what is that supposed to mean?

But I told them no and to stop. My brother told me that this might cause a rift in our relationship. I again said no and explained the wedding is child-free. He asked again and pointed out how his baby is different since he's a rainbow of miracle baby. I again said no and explained the wedding is child-free. They brought it up again when they visited my home and I knew they weren't going to stop.

So I made flashcards in advance with the phrase, the wedding is child-free, period, and pulled them out and started slowly showing them the flashcards one by one in this order. The wedding, with a sticker of the bride in the groom, is child with a sticker of a baby, free with a sticker of a red circle with a cross through it, period with a cross through it. Period! With a huge black dot sticker.

They both were stunned. I asked if they get it now, and Chris lost his mind. His wife had already grabbed her stuff and walked out. Chris called me a butthole for doing this and said that I disrespected him, his wife, and their son, who's my one and only nephew. He rushed out after we argued. My fiance saw the whole thing and thought that it was funny, but my parents and Chris

are livid beyond measure. They're telling everyone about the amount of disrespect and mockery that I've displayed towards them and I'm being told to fix it now. Wait, hold up. How exactly is clearly communicating your boundaries and then enforcing those boundaries after they're continuously trying to break those boundaries disrespectful? Answer, it's not. It's literally just not disrespectful. You said, no, I don't want to do this. Yeah, but what about no, I don't want to, I

know that you don't want to, but this is special. No, I don't want to. Yeah, well please, we really, no. Like, OP, how many times do you have to say it to these people before they finally get it? Even after the flashcards, they still don't get it! You could not possibly have broken this down any clearer. I don't want kids in my wedding and they're still like, well, you don't mean my kid, do you? Um, I have a feeling that we have a pair of entitled parents on our hands here. And more than likely, we'll come across a story on our slash entitled parents about

these two. Anyways OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. You've been as clear as you possibly can and they continue to disrespect you. I'm giving the rest of your family 1.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for crashing my wife's birthday party and taking her home? My wife turned 30 this week and I'm a 26 year old guy. We've always had a strong relationship and I love her so much. My wife has a best friend from childhood, Jimmy, who's 28. I didn't know him that well, but this year we've gotten to know each other and we've gotten close. He's my best bud and like an older brother to me in a lot of ways. My wife

goes all out for my birthday parties and I love them! She's more of a stoic introvert, so I thought that it would be nice to throw her a surprise 30th birthday with just her and me and make it a special event. I went in to make her a gift that she would love. Jimmy's an incredible artist and for the past two months I've been taking lessons from him. My wife was curious why I was spending so much time away from home with Jimmy, but I made beg excuses because I couldn't tell her that I was making a gift for her. She made a couple of comments, but never seemed upset.

I told her a week before her birthday that I'd made plans with Jimmy. I have a job with flexible hours, so it's not uncommon for me to do that. She wasn't upset or anything. When her birthday came, it took everything I had to not say anything. When she left for work, I put my plane into action. I decorated the place, I brought out the cake, I had learned how to bake a cake from YouTube, and I sorted out our friend's house. I got a dozen bouquets of flowers, I got her a few other gifts too. She was supposed

to come home at 5.30 but she didn't. I waited hours for her but she didn't come home. I called Jimmy and he said that he hadn't seen her. I called her and she didn't pick up. I checked her location and she was at a restaurant. I went to the restaurant and she was there with her friends. They were eating a birthday cake and she had presents. I had never met these friends of hers before. I think they're from work. She seemed sad. She wasn't smiling or energetic. I wanted to take her home and show her my gift so she would be happy. I came over to her and told her that she had to come home. We grabbed her things and left. On the Uber back, she didn't say anything. At home, she started crying.

She's been sleeping on the couch and she avoids me. My wife hasn't talked to Jimmy either. I told my mom about it and she called me a butthole. I don't know, am I the butthole? Opie, um, you made your wife believe for a full week that you had forgotten about her birthday and that you wanted forgotten about her birthday and that you wanted to spend her birthday hanging out with one of her friends. So after being heartbroken that her own husband doesn't want to spend time with her on her

birthday, she has a backup birthday scheduled with her work friends and you crashed the party and drag her away from it. Opie, I understand the intent was to give her a surprise birthday party, but you have to disguise the surprise with something else. You can't just pretend to forget and crush their soul for a week until the day and be like, surprise, I'm not a douchebag. Like one time my wife threw me a surprise birthday party and she didn't just pretend to forget leading up to my birthday. No, she told me that

we were going to go to a restaurant and have like romantic meal together. But then when we got there, all my friends were there and my family was there and it was like, you know, I wasn't expecting it. So, surprise, it's a surprise birthday party. That's how you do it. However, I kind of want to go easy on you here because I don't think that you're a butthole OP, I think you're just dumb. I think you're just really stupid. Because, you know, you were trying to be thoughtful, it's just you were trying to be thoughtful in incorrect ways. So, I think I'm gonna give you, gosh, do I wanna give you zero out of five buttholes? I'll give you one out of five buttholes.

But, on top of that, I have to give you like a three out of five dumb ass score because you're stupid OP. Of course she would be upset by what you did. How could you possibly not be upset about it? I don't know. People might think that he deserves more of a butthole score, and if you think that, you know, I'm not really going to disagree with you. I just feel like there's that phrase. It goes like, never attribute to malice, which can be equally explained with incompetence. I kind of feel like that's what's going on here. He's not being malicious.

He's just incompetent. That was our slash in my The Butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.