rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole My Husband Invited His Mistress to Dinner with Me

Episode Date: August 12, 2022

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Welcome to our slash, Am I the butthole? Where a hoopies husband is probably cheating. Am I the butthole for walking out in the middle of my husband's birthday dinner? I'm a 27 year old woman and my husband is 30. We've been together for three years and married for five months. Our relationship was problem free until the week before our wedding. My husband is very close friends with a woman, Ava, who he's known since they were sophomores in high school.

I never had a problem with Ava. I thought that it was very obvious that she and my husband were just friends. I mean, she had a long-term boyfriend, so I felt no jealousy or anything. I actually got along with Ava pretty well myself. We all hung out together regularly. But then, my husband dropped a bombshell on me the week before we got married. He sat me down and told me that Ava revealed to him that she has feelings for him and tried to convince him to knock it married to me.

She even broke up with her boyfriend of 6 years to prove that she was serious about my husband. My husband and I both agreed to cut her off. We uninvited her to our wedding and neither one of us have been in contact with her since. Oh man, I think I already know where this is going, and I can already tell you if I'm right, OP you're not the buttle. Okay, it was my husband's 30th birthday yesterday, and he wanted to have a dinner with family and friends, so that's what we did.

So we're in the restaurant eating, win all of a sudden, Ava walks in. She walks to our table, says that she didn't mean to intrude, that she was just getting dinner by herself, and then she saw us. She then wished my husband a happy birthday. I expected her to leave, but then my husband asked her if she wanted to join us. I looked at my husband like, what the fuck are you doing? I am visibly uncomfortable and irritated. I stand up and tell Ava that she can have my seed, and then I walk out and get an Uber

home because I want absolutely nothing to do with her. When my husband comes home almost two hours later, he immediately starts an argument with me. He tells me that I overreacted and I acted immaturely. I ask him, why did you ask Ava to eat with us? I thought that we were on the same page here. He replies that he was just being nice, and he didn't think that it would be a big deal because it's been a long time since he's seen her.

So she probably doesn't have any feelings for him anymore. Then he tells me that I ruined his birthday. I'm still pretty upset about this. I don't think that I'm the one in the wrong. I mean, this woman literally tried to steal my partner. So am I the butthole? Oh man, what a funny coincidence that she just happened to be eating at the exact same restaurant

as you and your husband. Wow, isn't it just funny how the universe works out that way? And like, I guess she was eating by herself, right? Because you didn't mention that she was there with anyone, and like, that's what lots of people do, right? We all know how much people love to go to eat at restaurants by themselves. Oh man, Opie, I'm gonna try to make fun of your situation here. I'm just trying to point out, obviously, this wasn't a coincidence.

As far as I can tell, there's two possibilities here. Option 1. Ava stalked you, your husband, or your friends on social media, figured out where you were going to eat, and then basically crashed your husband's birthday party. That is extremely troubling behavior, and in that case, you're 100% justified to get upset. Option 2 is that your husband intentionally told Ava where they were gonna be, invited her, and the two came up with this clever little plan

to be like, oh, what a funny coincidence. I just happened to be stepping by. Oh, well, this is a funny coincidence. Why don't you join us to eat, Ava? And in that case, your husband is going behind your back to talk to the woman who tried to break up your marriage. So again, you're 100% justified to be upset. And like, yeah, I guess there is a third option. And the third option is it's a cosmic coincidence

that she just happened to be in that restaurant. And like, in that case, even then you're justified to be upset at your husband because he's inviting the woman who tried to break up your marriage to eat with them. It's like, buddy, how do you not understand that this is fundamentally disrespectful to your wife? And then, oh my god, and then after you storm off, justifiably, I might add, he sticks around for two whole hours. Ahhhhhhh. Alright, let me ask you guys, what do you think it is? Do you think it's option one? She stalked them and crashed the party. Do you think it's option two? He invited Ava to the party, or do you think it's option three, a cosmic coincidence? My guess is option two. I would literally bet money that OPs husband and Ava have been secretly talking since then. Let me know what you think down in the comments. OPs you get zero out of five buttles.

Your anger is 100% justified. Ava and your husband both get 4 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for interrupting my husband's livestream and going off on him after he forgot to feed our daughter and change her diaper? I'm a 32 year old woman and my 35 year old husband has a YouTube channel with over 14,000 subscribers. He's been doing livestreams a lot lately, even though I told him that we have responsibilities to take care of. Before our daughter was born, she's currently 7 months old, he would stream randomly and spend a lot of time with his followers. He would just hang out, answer their questions,

and engage in conversations. He keeps saying that his followers are good for his mental health, and that engaging with him weekly makes him feel better at socializing and communicating. He's been complaining about wanting to do a live stream for days. I told him we would look at our schedule and see if we could get him some time to make it happen. Apparently, this wasn't good enough. Yesterday I had to go grocery shopping and I asked him to keep an eye on our daughter while she was asleep. He said, okay, I was gone for four hours, but I kept calling him to see if everything was OK. He would tell me that she was all right and that she was sleeping.

I started getting this weird feeling that something was wrong because she must have been hungry or needed a diaper change by then. He argued that everything was fine. I immediately went home and when I entered the house I didn't find him and I shouted his name but got nothing. I went to the bedroom and I saw't find him, and I shouted his name, but got nothing. I went to the bedroom, and I saw that my daughter was awake, and her diaper wasn't changed. And worse than that, her bottle wasn't even touched. I was confused, so I left the bedroom, and I noticed that his office door was closed. Based on the noises that I was hearing, I figured out that he was doing a live stream.

I was beyond seething, so I barged into the office. I blew up at him while he was trying to turn his mic off telling me to stop, but I didn't stop. I berated him for leaving our daughter unattended and with no milk or diaper change. He freaked out on me, saying that I just ended his entire channel and destroyed his fan base for interrupting his live stream and embarrassing and scandalizing him like that. I told him not to say a word, but he kept yelling, calling me out of control and unhinged. He was almost crying, so I had to leave the office. He kept fighting with me, so I decided to go stay with my mom.

He started blaming me for ignoring his needs after he already expressed them and that he forgot to do what I asked him and I cost him so much. Now he's telling us to come back home because he misses his daughter. Okay so this guy likes the livestream because it's good for his mental health. Okay fine great there's like no problem with that. If you've already got the computer then live streaming is an inexpensive hobby so I really don't have a problem with him doing that at all But like here's the thing, when you become a parent, your child's health and safety has to be put above your hobbies So he can live stream as much as he wants to until it starts to affect the health and safety of his child

Then it's a problem and the fact that this guy didn't feed or care for his daughter means yeah, it's a problem. And the fact that this guy didn't feed or care for his daughter means, yeah, it was a problem. I definitely can't understand him being embarrassed because like having that happen in front of your entire fan base, that's super, super embarrassing. But like at the same time, you know, maybe he deserves to be embarrassed. It's like, come on, dude,

you can't neglect a baby for your Twitch viewers. Take it from a YouTuber, Family First, YouTube Second. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. He gets 3 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my daughter that if she wants me to raise her baby, then she shouldn't have gotten pregnant? I'm a 52 year old man. My daughter Amanda, who's 27 and her husband Chris, who's 25, married a few months ago. Amanda's lived on her own since college, but she's still in the general area. Currently, Amanda and Chris aren't that focused on their future. Instead, they're mostly focused on having fun and doing things while they're still young.

There's nothing wrong with that, in my opinion, and I think that young people should have that kind of period in their life, especially after the pandemic. I got a call from Amanda. She and Chris told me that they'd taken several tests and they confirmed that Amanda is pregnant. They said they'd be hosting an announcement dinner, but they wanted immediate family to know right away. They could barely contain themselves because they had been trying ever since they got married. Note, this was unintended pregnancy. I told them that I was thrilled

to be a grandpa. The dinner party happened last week, and the announcement was met with happiness and excitement. Chris and Amanda were talking to a friend, and Chris made a comment along the lines of, Good thing that OP will while we were at work. I was confused, so I asked what they were talking about. Amanda revealed to me that she and Chris were expecting me to watch the baby while they were working so they could have fun time while not working. Now, I love my kids and I will never regret being their dad. But I did not sign up for a new baby. I'm done with all that. I want to

enjoy my retirement and be free without any underage children. I explained this to Amanda and Chris and also said that there are many daycare options in the area. Amanda began to cause a scene because you told me that you were thrilled to be a grandpa. I responded exactly, I'm thrilled to be a grandpa, not a parent. She said that I should help out since I don't have to worry about working. And that she's young and these are supposed to be the best years of her life. And how she thinks it's unfair that she and Chris's life should be all about the baby. I was very frank and responded, Amanda, of course your and Chris's life is going to be all about the baby. That's what it means to be a parent. You should have never gotten pregnant if you

expected someone else to raise your child. Amanda yelled at me, don't be surprised when I put you in a terrible nursing home. My son, Michael, says that I was harsh in my delivery, but not my message. My other son, Nathan, agreed that Amanda and Chris are expecting too much, and it was irresponsible to intentionally get pregnant when they believe they don't have the time to raise a baby. My sister Sandra, however, told me my comment was callous and misogynistic, and I haven't raised a newborn baby in 20 years, so I don't realize how much harder being a parent has gotten, and she thinks that I should provide at least 4 days of childcare per week and then go from there. Multiple family members are agreeing with Sandra, so I'm looking for some unbiased perspective

here. Am I the butthole? O.P. Hold on, let me make sure I got this right. Are you the butthole for expecting parents to raise their child? Are you the butthole for expecting parents to raise their own kid?

Mm, I mean, when you put it like that, they almost sound stupid, don't they? Is O.P. the butthole for expecting parents to raise their own kids? Hmm, hmm, hmm, let me think. Let me think with my big brain if parents should be responsible for their own children. Hmm, let me think.

No, no, you're not the butthole for thinking that because that's how humans work. That's how humans work in every society across every time period since the beginning of mankind. It'd be kind of a different situation if they were like drowning in debt. They were on the verge of being homeless. They had other kids that they could barely, you know, keep alive because they got to buy food and bills and like Trissine, all that kind of stuff. But like, no, they explicitly said that they want you to watch the kids so they can go have fun adult time whatever that means go clubbing I guess go on vacations lady you've got a kid to raise and you know what's like sad

I want to be like a dad for a moment you guys what does she say? Where's the line she said that she's young and these are supposed to be the best years of her life Well like that kind of breaks my heart a little bit and makes me sad because you're about to bring a little baby into this world and breaks my heart a little bit and makes me sad because you're about to bring a little baby into this world. And raising a child that you love is a profound delight that will open up parts of your heart and parts of your brain that you never knew existed. And you'll discover that when you love a child and they love you back, those become the best years of your life.

So like, I know it's really cheesy to say that, but she's missing out. She wants the best years of your life. You're not going to get that at a club. You're going to get that, but she's missing out. She wants the best years of your life. You're not gonna get that at a club. You're gonna get that seeing your baby's first steps. Seeing your baby say, yo, you guys, my baby, Lily, she started saying bye-bye to me. It's the only word she knows, our mama, dad, dad, and bye-bye.

So every morning, we walk the dog, and then she has to walk upstairs with her mother's help, and she will look at me and she'll wave, and she'll say, bye, and it's so cute. And like this is what life is, man, this is the human experience. It's having a family. It's finding a partner and raising a kid and having a job and paying off your mortgage, like this is life, man.

So I'm getting a little bit passionate here. Can you guys tell that bad parents pissed me off? Can you guys tell that? It's a bit of a trigger for me, I will admit. But anyways, OP, no, you are not the butthole. You have grandpa privileges, which means you show up on weekends sometimes to like, you know, go catch frogs or whatever the grandpas do. You're not an automatic free full-time babysitter so your daughter can go clubbing with her

husband. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. Your daughter gets two out of five buttholes for the expectation, and if she actually does dump her baby on you, then she and her husband get the full 5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for leaving a bad review on a small store? So my boyfriend and I have a tradition for our anniversary that we each go to a store and separate, and after we buy each other gifts, we exchange it in the car. It's silly and cute. We walked into this new mom-and-pop anime store. I'm a huge anime nerd and my boyfriend likes video games which they also sell.

We separate and I go look for stuff for my boyfriend. A worker walks up to me and starts chatting, then points at my leg. I have a pretty big tattoo of Kakashi from Naruto on my thigh, among other anime tattoos. He asked me if I got that from my boyfriend and I said no. I've always loved Naruto, and then I showed him my other tattoos that included a leaf village symbol, Gara of the sandscored, and a piece on my arm of a summa serutobi. He started quizzing me on the lore of the anime, and I told him that I wouldn't have spent a thousand dollars on tattoos of an anime that I didn't know about, and I didn't appreciate him trying to catch me in a gotcha moment.

He told me that he didn't believe that a girl could ever fully understand the real story of Naruto and the depth behind it. I told him that I didn't need his services services and he can go back to the front desk. He told me that I was a rude, wannabe be word and walked into the back and I continued purchasing my items. Later I wrote a review for the store. It said, if you're feminine presenting, enter with caution. One of the employees will call you a be word when you don't want to prove your nerd cred

to him. The owner left a comment on my review asking for an email conversation and also asked me to take down my review because people have started complaining about this employee and also his sales revenue has dropped. I told him that I wouldn't and that maybe he shouldn't hire massage in as if he didn't want bad reviews. My friends tell me that I'm overreacting. Am I the butthole? Yo, this guy thinks that women can't understand Naruto?

T-todd dude, literal 8-year-olds can understand Naruto. It's not that deep, it's a bunch of ninjas fighting other ninjas with ninja magic. Opie, you are definitely not the butthole. If the owner wants to hire misogynist, then he's going to have to deal with bad reviews. Speaking of bad reviews, I'm giving the misogynist 2 out of 5 buttholes and I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash in my The Butthole, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.