rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole My Husband is Getting Secret $1000 "Massages"

Episode Date: May 11, 2022

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Welcome to R-Slash, am I the butthole where OP apparently needs new boobs? Am I the butthole for what I said after my husband commented on my flat chest? My husband Jared and I have been married for three years. He's currently out of work. He used to work at a high-paying job, but got kicked out of the company over a fight with a coworker, and now I'm the one paying for rent and utilities. We dedicate some time to see his family weekly. They don't know that he's unemployed because he thought they would see him as a failure,

especially his mom, so he told me to keep it a secret. Last night we were sitting eating dinner at the table. His cousin was talking about his fiance going to Brazil to get a boob job. Jared asked if he was serious, then flattered her boobs by saying that they were perfect and that he didn't understand why she would get a boob job. He then turned to me, stared at my chest while I was eating like an idiot, I have a flat chest.

I'm insecure about it, but I can't do anything about it, obviously, and he said, why don't you get a boob job? You're the one who needs it the most. His mom gasped and was like, Jared, I said, it's fine. And then I turned to him and said, I'll get a boob job once you get an actual job since you've been unemployed for six months now. He stared at me in disbelief. His mom began questioning him about being unemployed and he denied denied denied,

then admitted it was true. He got awkward with his mom scolding him and other shaming him for it and for hiding it. He got so overwhelmed that he went outside and stayed inside the car until I came out. He started yelling at me repeatedly, you couldn't have held your effing tongue, and accused me of turning his family against him and having them judge then shun him. Now he can't even step foot in their house from shame and guilt. I argue that his comment about my chest was insulting, but he said that he was giving me a piece of advice and that there's nothing wrong with him wanting me to look pretty, and that he said what he said out of support and encouragement. But what I did was the complete opposite, and it was intended

to hurt him, and I succeeded. He dropped me off at home, then went to stay with his buddies. I called him later, thinking that he calmed down, but his friend said that he didn't want to speak to me, and I should give him space. Alright, hold up. So this guy got fired from his high-paying job because he got into an argument with another co-worker, which, let's be honest, based on this post, more than likely means that he was at fault in that argument. Then he shamed your body in front of his entire family and when you called him out, he said that you can't hold your f-ing tongue?

It sounds like he's the guy who has trouble holding his f-ing tongue. Oh, wait, I forgot one thing. He was also talking about another woman's perfect breasts. Not just any woman, not like some woman on TV, but an actual, like, I guess, sister-in-law. He's complimenting his sister-in-law's perfect boobies in front of you and in front of his brother. And he's doing all this while you're the one paying the bills.

Oh my god, OP. What a douchebag. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. This guy gets, I don't know, 3.5 out of five buttholes. This guy is completely clueless. How does he not know that what he's doing makes him a huge douchebag here? Honestly, OP, if your husband won space so much, I say give it to him. Get a divorce and then use a divorce settlement to get yourself some new boobs.

If that's what you want to do of course. Am I the butthole for using my husband's money to pay for my daughter's apple iPhone that he broke? My daughter is 16. She's had her old phone for 5 years and she's always wanted a new phone. I'm the only one working right now, since my husband decided to take a break from work after he inherited some money from his dad. My daughter's been doing pretty well at school, so I decided to encourage her and reward her by getting her an apple iPhone that cost a good sum of money.

I did my best to save money to buy it. I literally skipped paying for breakfast at work to be able to afford it. My husband didn't want to help, so I was on my own. I bought her the iPhone, and quite honestly, I haven't seen her this happy in a while. It was refreshing for me because she really went through some hard time in the past couple of years emotionally and mentally. My husband wasn't happy with this. He said the iPhone will only distract her from school in chores, but that wasn't true. In fact, it encouraged her to do more, but he still said that I shouldn't have spent that kind of money on an iPhone that she might be irresponsible with and break. My daughter picked up on his attitude towards the iPhone, but I told her to ignore him.

Days ago, I found out that my husband broke her iPhone. I asked why, and he said that he asked her to get him something from the toolbox in the garage, but she was on the iPhone and ignored him. He used this incident as evidence that the iPhone was a bad influence, but I yelled at him and demanded that he replace it. He said that he wouldn't, so I took money out of his account and paid for a new iPhone and gave it to my daughter. He saw what I did and went off on me, calling me vicious and awful, and accused me of stealing

his father's money and demanded that I pay back every single penny that I took. I basically told him that won't happen. He got his mother on me, saying that I'm setting a terrible example for my daughter by getting her a phone paid for with money that I stole from her dad. My husband said that he won't speak a word with me until I fix this, but I already said that I owe him nothing. Am I the butthole for this? Wait, hold on.

So it's okay for your husband to disrespect your money that you spent on the iPhone and to disrespect your daughter's iPhone that is her property, but it's not okay for you to disrespect his money. So like at the core issue here, we have a very, very simple U-Breakit, U-Buyet problem, where this guy broke someone else's property and he's refusing to fix it and that on the surface is this guy broke someone else's property and he's refusing

to fix it and that on the surface is wrong. Yes, that's wrong. Then there's like another added layer of this idiot, things that it's okay to destroy someone else's iPhone just because what? She didn't get a tool from a toolbox? Destroying someone else's things to teach them a lesson is straight up abusive. Then on top of that, you guys are apparently struggling. You're struggling so much that you have to skip breakfast to be able to afford an iPhone. And this guy in his big brain, I'm so smart, I'm an alpha male brain. He decides that the smart course of action is to destroy a $1,000 device just to teach a lesson.

If he really honestly decided that she shouldn't have the phone, then the logical thing to do would be to sell the phone for like, you know, $750, $800, whatever, keep the $800 for the family, and then you only lose a, let's say, $200 to $100 from reselling the phone. But this guy just threw away a thousand bucks just because he's once a swing around his big dick, essentially. Then on top of that, there's another layer which you guys might have missed. This guy got an inheritance from his father, and he decides what he's going to do with that is take time off work.

And yeah, okay, that's like a fair and reasonable thing to do. But I feel like it's very telling for this guy's personality that this guy's first response to getting a lot of money is, I'm going to stop working and start providing for my family because I deserve the break. But he doesn't say, hey, why? Let's both of us take time off vacation or he doesn't say, hey, daughter, let me buy you an iPhone with this new money that I've got. His first gut reaction is me, me, me.

This guy's a bad father, this guy's a bad husband, and this guy's a selfish douchebag, to be honest. And let's not forget that he also tattletailed to his mommy and got his mommy to complain to his wife. How dare you blah, blah, blah, what a douchebag man. I'm giving your husband the full five out of five butthole scores, because all those little things

just add up to a complete picture of just a giant butthole. When I imagine this guy's face, I just imagine a hairy sphincter. O.P., you and your daughter get zero out of five buttholes. Man, I can't believe this guy literally sat on his giant inheritance not working while his wife skipped meals to afford a gift for his daughter, disgusting. Am I the butthole for demanding my husband pay me the $1,000 that he spent behind my back? My husband is 33 and I'm 31. We used to be a two-income family, but in 2020 we lost our home and my husband lost his

job. We moved into a smaller apartment, we had to sell many of our things and give up most of our costly habits. My husband has an expensive habit of going to the spa for a weekly massage session. We live in an urban area, so this stuff is ridiculously expensive. A single session is $250, and he has to go every week, so that's $1,000 a month. I offered him to have his session at a regular spa, but no. He has to get it from that luxurious spa near the restaurant that we used to go to, saying the lady who gives the massage is an expert and he's used to her.

The problem is, I'm the only income earner, and I'm struggling to make ends meet. I'm also pregnant, and I need to save money to repair nursery. I told him to cut his sessions but he refused. I told him that I won't be paying for them anymore and he said that he would get the money himself. Yesterday I checked and I saw that he's been using my credit card for his sessions for a whole month and he maxed out my card completely. I found that out when I went shopping for baby essentials and the cashier said that I had no money. I had to return everything, then I went home and I went off on him.

I told him that he maxed out my card and made me look like an idiot at the store. He said that he didn't tell me because he knew that I'd have an issue with it. I demanded he pay back the $1000 he spent, but he refused. I yelled at him calling him irresponsible, and he got upset and called me selfish and told me to stop playing victim. And that this is affecting both of us since he's going to be a parent too, and it's stressful for him and I keep dismissing his needs as a human. I went upstairs and he went out. He started giving me the silent treatment, but I kept demanding the money back. He said that I shouldn't expect it back since we're married, so my money is technically his, and I should stop using his unemployment against him.

Okay, so like in the grand scheme of things, there's nothing wrong with having an expensive hobby. However, if you have an expensive hobby, then you have to be the one who pays for it. You can't expect your spouse to work and pay for your luxurious lifestyle while you just, I don't know, sit around all day and watch Netflix and then go out and spend 250 a week on massages. And what did OPC say? he lost his job in 2020. Okay, it's 2022. So like, what did he do throughout literally all of 2021?

This is like at minimum 16 months that this guy has been unemployed. And 2021 was like record setting for how easy it was to get a job. And yeah, I know finding a job can be difficult. I don't want to like belittle that because the struggle's real sometimes. But come on, dude, go find a job.

Especially the fact that you're pregnant. This guy knocked you up and is like, nah, I guess I don't really need a job. But what I do need is a massage. Oh, P, I'm sorry that you're married to this doofus because he's extremely selfish. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving your husband 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Also, I don't know man, I don't know if I'm being really jaded here because I've read

a lot of really, really toxic, awful stories for this YouTube channel. So maybe reading all these stories has made me really cynical. I've gotta ask $250 for a massage. This sounds um fishy. What is it? What is the average? Average cost for a massage in a city. The national average for a massage is approximately 60 bucks per hour. Okay. So why is this massage four times as expensive? This one says the average is 100 per session, but prices can range from 65 to 180. Okay, so like, all right, I'm just gonna say it.

I didn't wanna say it because I don't have any evidence to back it up, but I've gotta ask, Opie, is this a special massage? Is the ending of this massage especially happy, perhaps? Or I've got to ask, is he even going to a massage at all? Is it perhaps a prostitute? Is it perhaps a sugar baby? Is it perhaps a mistress?

Down in the comments, we have this post from a duck named Phil. I'm a sex worker who works legally in a brothel. My husband gets a two-hour massage every week from a massage therapist. One hour with me is 350 bucks. One hour with the masseuse is 60 bucks. Take from that what you will. Okay, yeah, I'm kind of glad I'm not the only person wondering about this because 250 bucks for massage seems like a lot. Am I the butthole for not carrying on my family's tradition? I'm an 18 year old woman and my family has a tradition that goes back five generations. That is, the oldest child of our family joins the military. My mom was in the army and retired as a major.

My grandpa was in the Air Force and retired as a colonel, I believe. My great grandpa was in the Navy and my great-great-grandfather was a major. My grandpa was in the Air Force and retired as a colonel, I believe. My great grandpa was in the Navy, and my great-great-grandfather was a Marine. And my great-great-great-grandfather was also a Marine. My family is very proud of this fact, and they've been throwing this in my face since I was fresh out the cooter. With the school year coming to an end and me turning 18 last month, my mom has been forcing me to do fitness courses and buying textbooks to help me study for the ASVAB. The ASVAB, based on a Google search, is a Armed Services Vocational Aptitude

Battery, which is a multiple aptitude battery that measures developed abilities and helps predict military stuff. Now, I would have rebelled against this a while ago, but sadly my younger brother passed away a few years ago, and it was really hard on my parents, so I've just been going along with this until now. Last week, I overheard my mom talking on the phone to a recruiter talking about my options for possibly becoming an officer. I guess the realization finally hits. I told my mom that I'm not joining the military a few days ago and a huge fight happens.

She said that I basically wasted her time and she called me a disappointment, but I think that I have the right to choose. Am I the butthole? Down in the comments, Goony Goo Goo has a much better position to speak on this than I do. Not the butthole. I say this as an army veteran. Stand your ground.

Your mother is being wildly unreasonable, and your right to push back on that. Your life is your own. Regarding the time-wasting, that was entirely your mom's fault for taking too much initiative. She's the one who wasted her time. Not OP. Yeah, I agree OP, you only get one life, so don't waste it doing what other people want you to do. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes, I'm giving your mom two out of five buttholes.

Am I the butthole for getting upset at my girlfriend for giving my mom a tattoo? I'm a 25 year old guy, and I've been with my 22 year old girlfriend for over a year. She's covered in tattoos, which I've always liked. She's always been artistic and has been tattooing herself in friends for years. My parents are more conservative and traditional, so when they planned a trip to visit us, I told her she'd just wear longer clothes to cover them up. She refused, and on the day they visited, she wore a crop top with shorts which showed off most of her tattoos. I warned her again before they came in about it, but she just shrugged me off. I was shocked when my parents came in and just started complimenting my

girlfriend on her tattoos, especially my mom. My mom spent ages talking to her about tattoos, so me and my dad went out to the backyard. When we came back inside, my mom rushed up to my father to show off the tattoo my girlfriend gave her. It was four small flowers running up her arm. She said that it represented our family. My dad loved it, and my mom was busy telling everyone about it on Facebook. Then my girlfriend came downstairs, and I asked her why she would put that on my mom with that asking me and she laughed in my face and said my mom was a grown woman. My parents then took my girlfriend's side so I just stormed off upstairs.

I could hear them for hours downstairs until my parents left. It's been a few days and I can't bring myself to talk to my girlfriend after she did that behind my back. Wait, what? O.P., okay, how do I say this? Why do you feel that you're entitled to your mother's body? Ugh, that sounds weird to say. But like, am I wrong here?

Is that not what's going on? Why do you get to say in what your mom does with her own body? The answer is you don't fundamentally, right, because she's a grown-ass woman and she gets to decide what she does with her own body. These are two consenting adults, a tattoo artist, and a tattoo fan, apparently. Just one decides to get together a tattoo, all consenting adults, and you get upset over that? Why? And then you go upstairs and soak for literal hours while your parents spend time with your

girlfriend and you're just upstairs moping about it? OP, this is weird, weird behavior. If anything, I feel like you should be excited because you were concerned about your parents judging your girlfriend over their tattoos, but they didn't. Instead, they embraced your girlfriend for her tattoos and you're upset about it? Why? This is like an added bonus. O.P. grow up.

You get 2 out of 5 buttholes. Everyone else gets 0 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. Bay.