rSlash - r/AmITheA--hole My Roommates Doodoo'd on My Bed

Episode Date: December 8, 2022

https://www.youtube.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to our slash, Am I the butthole, where Opie's roommate and lovers do do on his bid? Am I the butthole for charging my roommate for brand new bid cheats in a mattress, $3,500? After his buddies had intercourse on my bid and got poop and blood on the mattress? I have this roommate, Darian. Before this, Darian and I had a bit of a tense relationship. Darian constantly uses and disrespects my stuff, like he'll leave dishes out to soak. Multiple times, he drank my expensive alcohol. So already before this event, we weren't on good terms, and I've told him many times as well to please respect my belongings.

Over the weekend, I was out for a work event, and apparently Darien invited some of his friends and lovers over. He told me before that they might crash the night, and I told him that's fine. Well, when I came back, I noticed that my sheets are weirdly misplaced, and I investigate, and when I lift the sheets, there's this disgusting smell. And I look and there are brown stains on my bed sheets and in my special mattress. I flip out, I take pictures of all the damages. I confront him and he's like, oh, sorry man.

It was some of my friends and they didn't know. I tell him that he needs to pay me and he can get the money from his friends, but this is on him because they were his guests. And if he refuses I'll first contact his parents and then I'll go to small claims court. He's saying that he'll pay for the bid sheet but not for the mattress that the stain he'll clean out and that the mattress is too expensive. It costs about $3,500.

I told him I don't want to sleep on a poopy mattress and after he pays me he can have the mattress He starts saying that I'm being homophobic that if a straight couple had intercourse on my bed that I wouldn't be threatening them with small claims courts I'm like if they pooped on my bed then yes I would For me, it's just gross to think of sleeping on this bed and it has a special cooling technology. So if I put a mattress top or on top of it, it completely ruins the effect. Okay, so your gay roommate invited his gay friends over

and they had gay intercourse on your bed and they got poo poo on your bed. And he's calling you homophobic because you don't like poo poo on your bed. By that logic. Tell me if this is right guys tell me this is right by that logic you Presumably opi's heterosexual here you could invite your girlfriend have intercourse in his bed And you could get your girlfriend to rub her period blood over every inch of his bed And when he gets upset about it, you say, oh, you're just, you're just heterophobic.

You're just scared of straight people. That's why you're offended. Not because someone got disgusting bodily fluids all over your bed, but because, you know, you just don't like straight people. And like, why did they have to do it on your bed? Why didn't they do it on his bed? I can tell you the answer.

You know the answer. We all know the answer. It's because they didn't want to get do it on your bed? Why did they do it on his bed? I can tell you the answer. You know the answer. We all know the answer. It's because they didn't want to get do-do on his bed. He wants to get do-do on your bed, because then it's your problem. OP, you can and should sue him. I was gonna say you should sue his pants off, but based on this guy's hygiene,

I recommend you keep his pants on. You should. Why do I have to say this? Why does the Senate need to be spoken? No, OP, you're not obligated to sleep on other people's do-do stains. I think we all have a right to sleep in a do-do-free environment. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttles. I'm giving your repulsive roommate three out of five buttles with emphasis on the buttle and my the buttle for asking for a morning off from my baby on the weekends my wife And I have a six-month-old baby girl. She's mostly a stay-at-home mom

She works two half days a week and her sister watches the baby I work full time and go to school one day a week We've always had an arrangement where she takes care of the household duties, cooking, cleaning, and now baby care, while I happily support her monetarily. Honestly, we're both living our dream life, and my wife does an absolutely spectacular job taking care of me and our little one. On the weekend, we share baby duty. We usually make sure each of us gets our own alone time to do whatever we want. However, our girl has had a bit of sleep regression, waking up every two hours. Since my wife breast feeds, she's always taking care of the baby full time overnight.

She's a light sleeper and unfortunately has insomnia, whereas I'm a deep sleeper and I wouldn't wake up with the baby cries anyway. Recently, my wife has been asking me to wake up the baby both days on the weekends so she can get an extra hour of sleep. The baby wakes up at around 7am. I get the baby dressed and take over for that hour. But sometimes, I want to be the one that gets to sleep in an extra hour. I brought this up to her and she says that while she's happy to let me nap during the

day, she really needs that hour because she can't take naps like I can. We got into an argument about it and she said that I'm being very insensitive when I know that she's very exhausted and can't nap during the day and she struggles going back to sleep every time the baby wakes up. But I'm exhausted too, work wears me out, and school days are long, and I sometimes want the hour of sleep in the morning. I don't want to spend my off time napping. I want to play video games and chill out. I've gotten mixed opinions on who's in the wrong here, or if there even is anyone in

the wrong. Am I the butthole for asking us to share mornings off for sleep? Oh man. Opie, you said your wife breast feeds and cares for the baby at night. Which means, for six months, your wife hasn't had a continuous night of sleep. From night when she goes to sleep till morning when she wakes up. For six months, that's half a year. For the past half year, she has had to wake up in the middle of the night, at least once, probably multiple times, to breastfeed your child.

And all she's asking for, the one thing, the one accommodation she's asking for is, can I please have one hour of extra sleep on the weekends. Not even the entire week, because she's being very respectful of the rest of your work week Monday through Friday because she knows you have work, she knows you have school, she says, I'll wake up early, I will endure for the sake of this family. All I'm asking for you, sweetie, love of my life, my husband, all I'm asking is one hour on Saturday and one hour on Sunday. Um, yeah, I mean, I could do that, or I could play Fortnite with the boys. And, um, nah, I'm kind of feeling Fortnite with the boys, if I'm being honest with you. OP, at this point, you don't owe your wife an hour.

You owe your wife entire weekends. You think she doesn't want to chill out? You think she doesn't want to relax? Oh man, and down in the comments, Opie is just getting ripped to shreds. Imagine a screaming man baby being lowered into a giant paper shredder. That's what these comments look like. You know what's so depressing about this?

Is the wife even accommodates him. He says, listen, I know you want to sleep in, but I'll give you time to sleep and during the day, you can nap as much as you want. But just give me this one extra hour in the morning because I have a lot of trouble getting to sleep and I can't nap during the day. So I'm giving you the time just let me take the morning and you can sleep during the rest of the day.

And OP says no to that extremely reasonable request, extremely reasonable. OP, I'm giving you 3 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your wife 0 out of five buttholes. I don't think unless someone actually goes through months and months of consistently losing sleep every single night, every single night without a single full night sleep, can you fully understand how much of an emotional

and mental toll that it takes on you. Business notifications getting out of hand buried under an avalanche of customer emails, texts and social media messages. and mental toll that it takes on you. run better on Thrive. Get Command Center for free today at Thrive.ca. That's THRYV.ca. Terms and conditions apply. Free plans have limited functionality. Am I the butthole for cancelling things giving plans after my parents called my brother's baby their first grandchild? I'm a 32 year old woman and I've been with my wife, Ava, who's 34 for 8 years now. We've been married for 5 years. She was a single mom of 3 kids when we started dating. She had 2 daughters who are now 10 and 12 and a son who's now 16. I've watched these kids grow up.

I've read them bit time stories, done bath time, the first day of school, PTA meetings, all of it. I've very much considered them to be my kids and they've been calling me mom for almost six years now. My brother Ivan, who's 28, just had a baby girl with his fiance Sarah. I love my niece and my kids adore their cousin. My kids have been the only grandkids on my side of the family since Avon I got together and there's never been a moment where the kids and my wife were treated like we didn't belong. My brother is their uncle, my mom and dad are their Nana and Pop and the kids see my family as their family and I always thought that my family felt the same way about them. The kids and I were over at my brother's house just hanging out and

my parent ended up dropping by with gifts for my niece. My brother Ivan laughed when he saw the toys, and told our mom and dad that they were going to end up spoiling her rotten. My mom said that since my niece is their first grandchild, of course they have to spoil her. My kids were sitting in the living room with all of us, and my youngest daughter looked hurt when she realized what my mother said. My son and my 12 year old didn't fully react to it, but I could tell that it bothered the both of them too. Sarah spoke up and said, oh, you mean

first-grandbaby, not first-grandchild? My dad shook his head no and replied that my niece was their first-grandchild. I didn't want my kids to keep sitting there and listening to that, so I handed my son my keys and told him to wait in the car with his sisters. When they were gone, I asked my parents why the hell they'd say that my kids weren't their grandchildren, and my mom said that they couldn't be their grandchildren because they weren't really my children. My wife and I were going to be hosting Thanksgiving at our house this year. But I told my parents that if they didn't view my kids as their family, then they could just host a meal at their own house with their real family while I spent the holiday with

mine. I left before they could say anything else to me. And my wife and I have reiterated to our kids that they will always be my kids and I will always be their other mom, regardless of our DNA. My brother is pissed at me now because he thinks that I reacted too harshly, and that I should try to see where my parents are coming from. My mom texted saying that she and my dad love my kids, but they still aren't their grandkids, and she hopes that we can come to understand that, because she doesn't want to ruin my

niece's first Thanksgiving. Wow, okay. I haven't replied back. I meant what I said, but I'm worried that maybe I'm reacting too harshly. Opie, your mother texted you and said that she doesn't want to ruin her niece's first Thanksgiving. Not your Thanksgiving, not your kid's Thanksgiving, but she doesn't want to ruin her nieces first Thanksgiving.

Honestly, I think there's no coming back from this. I think that what they've said and what they've done has shown that no matter what they do in the future, they will never actually view your kids as their grandkids. I would say not only did you do the right thing here, but cutting them out of your lives is almost your responsibility at this point. Because fundamentally, talking about children that way is really messed up, especially in front of them like that. Like your kids love their grandparents, but their grandparents have basically said, oh, sweetie, we don't love you as much as a real grandbaby.

Why would you say that to a 10-year-old? It's really simple. If someone in my life said this type of thing to my daughter, then they'd never get to see my daughter again. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your actions here, if anything, are commendable. I'm giving your parents 3.5 out of 5 buttholes, and I'm giving your brother 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. I will say, though, props to your brother's fiance, Sarah,

who spoke up and said, oh, you mean first-grandbaby, not first-grandchild, because she was thinking for you, she was thinking on behalf of your parent, and she was thinking on behalf of your kids. So I think she just assumed that they misspoke and that they actually really do love your kids, and she tried to fix a situation,

but they were like, oh no, I mean, when I said, I really am just a douche bag. So I'm giving Sarah 0 out of five buttolls. OP posted an update and it's pretty long, so I'm not going to read it, but the just of it is that OP called her parents and her parents doubled down yet again and said, listen, we love your kids just not that much. OP talked to her brother who apologized to OP and OP thinks that it's probably because Sarah talks some sins into him. Her brother said that he and his family once has been Thanksgiving with OP and her family instead of the grandparents. So it looks like OP's brother and his wife

are picking OP's side in this fight. So OP's parents thought that they had gained their first grandchild when it's starting to look like they may have just lost four grandkids. Am I the butthole for not allowing my daughters half-sister to spend Christmas with us? My ex-husband and I got divorced seven years ago. We share custody of our 13-year-old daughter. He got married and has a five-year-old daughter with his now wife. His daughter would spend time with my daughter regularly. They adore each other, but she doesn't come to my house and they rarely meet up there. His wife has been diagnosed with

cancer and has started treatment recently. The other day, he came to drop our daughter off and asked to speak to me. He talked about his wife's circumstances, then how his family won't be able to have a Christmas celebration this year. He said that it wasn't fair for his daughter and asked if I could include her in my family celebration. He pointed out how the girls will have a great time bonding and making memories, but I said that I was sorry, but my family's traditional celebration is a sacred thing, and I don't feel comfortable including anyone else.

Plus, it'd be awkward having her in my home. He said that his daughter may not be family to me, but she sure is to her half-sister. He asked me to stop and think about what's best for the kids here. I suggested that he take his daughter to spend Christmas with his grandparents, but he says that he and his parents are no contact. I tried to cut the conversation short, but he stopped me and started going on about how cruel it was for me to decline to include his daughter, who's already having a hard time adjusting. I saw that he was beginning to cry, so I stepped back and said that I

was no longer feeling comfortable having this conversation. I asked him to leave, and he did, but he still texted me, asking me to agree to let his daughter come spin Christmas with us. He even offered to come along with her to make things less uncomfortable. I said no, and now he's calling me selfish and unfeeling. Okay, this story's kind of bizarre, because like, if this guy's wife is dying of cancer, then this could be the very last opportunity that his daughter has to spend time with her mother. So why wouldn't he wanna take advantage of that? Like, this could be her last Christmas, and he wants to send his daughter away

to spend Christmas with a family that she basically doesn't even know, huh? This kind of feels like a no butthole here situation because like, yeah, okay, OP doesn't wanna invite this girl who she doesn't even know to her family's holiday. So it's like, yeah, that's understandable. And I can sort of understand where the husband is coming from too, the ex-husband, because he's trying to think for his daughter and he wants to like give her a happy holiday, because things are so stressful and unpleasant at home with the mom dying. But like, that's not

the way to go about it. The best thing he can do for his daughter is let her spend time with her mom. So you know, the guy is being a little pushy and he's really sensitive, but considering his wife is dying, I can give him a little bit of flexibility here and give him zero out of five buttolls. I think he's just being really sensitive and like really hurt and he's in a really difficult spot. But come on man, stop trying to give your daughter to someone else for Christmas. In any event, I think everyone in this story deserves zero out of five buttholes.

That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you liked this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.