rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole My Wife Had a Baby with My Brother

Episode Date: July 23, 2022

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Welcome to R-slash, am I the butthole where O.P.'s fiance has a love child with O.P.'s brother? Am I the butthole for telling my niece why I kept a distance from her and her parents growing up? I'm a 42 year old guy and I have a niece, Lily, who's 18. Lily is the result of an affair that my ex-fiance had with my brother while we were still together. Oh my God. I was led to believe that Lily was mine throughout the entire pregnancy and almost signed her birth certificate before my ex confessed out of guilt

that Lily was probably my brothers. We did a DNA test and Lily wasn't mine. During my teens, I got into an accident that left me infertile and the doctor said that my chances of fathering a child were slim to nonexistent. So you can imagine how crushed I felt when I discovered that not only I'm not going to be a father, but I was also betrayed by two people that I loved.

I gotta just stop real quick and say that as a guy with a brother and a daughter named Lily, this first paragraph is kind of triggering for me honestly. It's been years since then, and I've done well for myself. I'm the first person in my family to attend university, and I landed a high-paying job right after graduation. I own my own business, I invest in property, and since I'm both single and childless, I can spend my income however I please. My ex-Fiancé ended up marrying my brother. I'm somewhat cordial towards them, but I can't bring myself to fully forgive them for what they did.

And although I know that Lily is blameless, whenever I see her, I'm constantly reminded of how I was once overjoyed with holding her in the hospital, thinking that she was mine. So I can't bear to look at her for too long. I didn't visit her growing up, I didn't take her on fun trips or give her lavish gifts like I did for the rest of my nieces and nephews. I wasn't mean or hateful to her, but I'll admit I kept my distance. When my oldest nephew turned 18, I decided that I would pay for his college education since I could afford it while his parents couldn't. I even rented him one of my apartments for chief so that he wouldn't have to worry about money and he could focus on his education.

Since then, I've done the same thing for my two other nieces. Last week, Lily approached me during a family event and inquired if I could pay for her education. I told her no. She then called me a jerk and asked me why I was so distant towards her and her parents to the point where I couldn't even do her the same favor that I did for the rest of her cousins. I told her that her parents have more than enough money to afford her education, and I asked her how she could possibly expect me to be okay with watching my ex and my brother who had an affair behind my back play the happy family right in front of me. After that, Lily got quiet for the rest of the event and left early.

I later got a call from my ex yelling at me for ruining her family. Apparently, she and my brother didn't bother telling Lily about what they did to me all those years ago. And now she's so angry at them that she decided to go live with her boyfriend's family. I'm starting to feel guilty that I told her the truth since it affected her more than I thought it would, but at the same time she's grown up enough to know the truth, and I don't think that I could have lied to her face even if I wanted to. So am I the butthole?

And then OP Posting an update. I met up with Lily yesterday. I told her about my relationship with her mother, how and when it started, and I went into detail about the accident that I went through, the cheating and her birth. In turn, she told me everything that her parents told her about me growing up. Apparently, she was told that around the same time that she was born, I had a miracle baby named Lily who died at the hospital. And that since she and her share the same name, I held some sort of resentment towards her. I'm still processing what Lily told me.

I feel like it's such a twisted retelling of what actually happened that it's insulting. Needless to say, there was a lot of crying involved and apologies from both ends. Lily says that she's doing better now that she knows the truth and that her boyfriend and his family have been an amazing support to her throughout all of this. My family decided to officially cut off any contact from my ex and my brother. Now that Lily's an adult, there's no need to also invite them along so they can see her. For those asking me if I do therapy, yes, I do. My therapist was the one who suggested that I distance myself from Lily and her parents all those years ago, and honestly, it did wonders for my mental health. So I can't say that I regret that decision.

I was suicidal back then, and I don't think that regular contact with them would have possibly done me any good. I decided that I'm going to try my best to be more involved in Lily's life right now, and I don't have to interact with her parents in order to meet up with her. Lily agreed and said that she would also like to get to know me better. Overall, this whole incident opened up a lot of old wounds, but I'm glad that it happened. It needed to happen. All I can say is, I hope that Lily and I will heal from this and we can move on with our lives. OP, you and Lily both get zero out of five buttholes. I will heal from this and we can move on with our lives. OP, you and Lilly both get 0 out of 5 buttholes.

I'm giving your ex and your brother 5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for taking the cake that I bake for my fiancé's birthday and going home? I'm a 25 year old woman and my fiancé, Ben, is 31. I do not have the best relationship with Ben's mom. I try my best to be polite around her, but she's the type to have high standards and expectations of whoever dates her sons. She has three sons. She's commented on my hair and body several times, and at some point even suggested cosmetic

surgeries for the future. This upsets me, but then Ben tells me this is who she is, and I need to learn to have a thick skin. Because most times, she really doesn't mean to be malicious. Anyways, I'm known for baking cakes and sweets. Ben eats whatever I make, but whenever I bring something to his family to try, they find every excuse in the world not to eat it. I'm okay with that, so I just stop trying. For Ben's 31st birthday, his mom wanted to host the party. I decided to bake him his

birthday cake, and he was thrilled with it. I went grocery shopping, took time off work, and put so much effort into making it how he likes it. I took it with me to his mom's house, and to my surprise, when I walked in, I saw a large birthday cake sitting on the dining room table. I was puzzled. My future mother-in-law said that she requested the cake from the bakery, and she paid such and such money for it. I asked, what about the cake that I made?" She responded,

Oh, you can place it on the counter over there, and we'll let the kids have it. It felt like ice had been dropped all over me. I looked at Ben, and he nodded at me in a, just do it kind of way. I was so mad and the cake was still in my hands at the time. I just turned around and made my way to the door. His mom remained standing, but Ben followed me asking me where I was going. I told him that he didn't eat my cake and, by extension, me since my efforts were so easily dismissed and

disrespected. He said that I was overreacting and that his mom paid so much for that cake, and it was only fair that he accepted. He begged me to go back inside and do him this favor, but I decided to go home. He got mad and started saying that I was being unreasonable and storing up drama over nothing. I went home and he didn't come back until 11 p.m. He was so upset. He said that he and his family didn't appreciate the childish behavior that I was displaying

by ruining his party and disrespecting his mom like that. He said that I turned this into a huge deal and I should have acted more maturely instead of walking out with the cake. Am I the butthole for taking the cake and walking out? Opie, if my mother disrespected my wife every single time I went over to my mother's house, then the solution is very simple. I would just stop going over to my mother's house. Because look, that's what marriage is.

If your own partner isn't going to have your back, then who is? I mean, yeah, it's the mother-in-law who's being toxic here. But she's only being toxic because your fiance is allowing her to be toxic. If he really, truly cared about you enough to put his foot down, then she would have to stop. Or he would just cut her out of his life. Opie, I want to be really clear with you. This is going to be your life moving forward. If you're okay with that, then marry the guy. If you're not okay with that, then please don't marry this guy. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes.

The mother-in-law gets 1.5 out of 5 buttholes, and your fiance gets 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for making my sister-in-law feel like garbage about her weight? I'm a 35-year-old woman, and my sister-in-law is 46. I have 3? I'm a 35 year old woman and my sister-in-law is 46. I have three kids, the oldest being a 16 year old boy. For my birthday last week, my son bought me the swinging hammock chair that I had been wanting for two years and it cost him quite a bit of his saved money. He was so excited to see me open the gift and couldn't wait to help me set it up. I told him that he shouldn't have,

that it was a lot of money and his response was, you never get anything nice, I wanted you to have it. And it was true, I usually don't get anything from my birthday or Christmas's outside of Tupperware or soap. So it might sound stupid, but I've cherished the swing ever since he got it for me, especially since I finally have something nice that's mine. My sister-in-law comes over once I'd sound stupid, but I've cherished the swing ever since he got it for me, especially since I finally have something nice that's mine. My sister-in-law comes over once a week to see all of us, and she immediately hid it straight from my swing, which my son hooked up to our deck. I told her to please not sit on it, and she said, is there a weight limit?

So I told her, yeah, 250 pounds, and I even showed her the box to confirm it. She wasn't upset about this. She just said, that's a bummer. They need to make something capable of holding us big girls. I simply agreed with her and went about my business. At that point, my husband shows up from work. When I went inside to grab us some drinks, her and my husband are talking on the porch, and not even five minutes later, I hear a loud crash and my husband are talking on the porch, and not even five minutes

later I hear a loud crash and my husband say, oh man are you alright? I go outside and sure enough my sister-in-law had sat in my swing and the crochet netting around the hook snapped on the one side causing her to fall right on her butt. She's just sitting there laughing, gets up and says, I can't say I need to learn to listen. So I lost it. As I said above, I literally never get anything nice. Never. This is the one thing that I had that was mine and it didn't even take someone a freaking week before they ruined it for me. So I said, I literally just effing told you not even 20 minutes ago that it wouldn't hold you and to please not effing sit in it. She made some comments about, usually

the weight limit is a lie. I thought that it would hold. So I said, the weight limit probably would have held a few or 50 pounds heavier, not a hundred and fifty. She's four hundred and twenty pounds because she's one of those girls who eats food on camera for money and she absolutely loves her weight. But regardless, instead of apologizing or offering to compensate me for the destroyed item, she resorted to saying that I'm a bad person for making her feel like her weight is the problem and my husband is on her side. He said, it's just an effing swing. Am I the butthole? Yeah, it's just a swing, but it's your swing. That's what matters. This is your swing and like the whole backstory about how your son gave it to you and it's a very cherished swing because

you don't get many gifts. It doesn't matter. The point is, it's yours. You told her not to use it and she used it anyways. She could have broken it because she's overweight. She could have broken it because she's a smoker and she said it on fire. She could have broken it by accident on purpose. It doesn't matter. The point is, it's yours. You told her not to use it. She broke it and she should 100% compensate you and apologize for it.

OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. She gets 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole? I went on vacation with my friends and her family and they kicked me out, but I got my own room and stayed. I'm in college, and my roommate from last year, Meg, whose family is really rich, said that she could bring her friend on vacation. It was kinda awkward.

I was her third choice. Her family vetoed her first two choices because they didn't want her to bring a boy or this other female friend of hers they disliked. Her parents bought my plane ticket and booked the resort, which I'm very grateful for, and I saved up a lot of money so I could make sure to buy my own food and activities when I'm there and treat her family to a dinner as a thank you for the tickets. But when the trip started, it was just bad. It was me, her, her mother, her father, two of her father's friends and her three brothers going. On the flight, they all got first class and got me an economy seat.

But, I didn't say anything because why argue about a free ticket? The first night they went to go get groceries and it turns out they wanted to cook at the resort kitchen for the whole trip. And by they wanted to cook, what I actually mean was they wanted me and Meg to cook. I wasn't warned about this, but it turns out that Meg's family is so traditional that they see cooking as a woman's job. And her mom had just had hand surgery. So it was me and Meg cooking every meal for six men in her mom.

And I can't cook well. I know a couple of staple meals to feed myself, but since I rarely eat meat, I don't know how to cook it. I'm also okay at cooking for one or two people, but I have no practice cooking for a group of nine. I screwed up. I undercooked some chicken and overcooked some steak, and her dad was angry with me. I got upset with him and told him that if he knew how to do better, then he could pitch in instead of standing around criticizing. But he got furious and said that he was on vacation. I said I was trying to have a vacation too, or did they invite me to be an unpaid domestic servant. Meg's parents and her dad's friends got angry that I said that and they started yelling at me.

The argument escalated and I sarcastically called myself the help. Her dad snapped at me and told me to get out of their suite and go home. He didn't say anything about how he expected me to do that. I left and called the airline with my ticket and asked him if they could do anything to prevent anyone else from modifying or canceling my ticket. They let me set a passcode

and no changes could be made to the flight without it. Then I went to the resort desk to ask about rooms, saying that I was stranded unexpectedly. They actually did have some affordable rooms available because of a weekday discount. So I got housing and I still had money left over for touristy stuff. I went sightseeing and relaxed on the beach for three days, until Meg's parents ran into me again. They were taking a sunset walk and did a double take seeing me on the beach. They said they thought that I was going home and I said I decided to stay. They were angry at me because they saw me staying and using the return flight as having

to see them into thinking that I couldn't afford a vacation and using them for flights when I actually could afford things. So am I the butthole for staying on the vacation and using the flight home? What? What did they expect you to do, OP? Like get on your bicycle and bicycle across the country or swim from Hawaii to the mainland or wherever you were. Like, what, what, what? I mean, I think when I kick you out of the suite,

that's one thing because they paid for the suite. But past that, they don't own the resort. You can stay at the resort if you want to. And on top of that, you're not wrong, OP. They literally were treating you like unpaid labor. Lots of rich families go on vacation with their hired help, their nannies, their cooks, whatever. And in those cases, those people still get paid even though it's on vacation. Opie, Meg's family is literally insane. Opie, you get an easy zero out of five buttholes.

That entire family gets three out of five buttholes. That was our slash of my the butthole and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.