rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole A 16-year-old Stalker Broke Into My House to Give Me Cake!

Episode Date: October 20, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP's son is a 16 year-old-boy who was in a relationship with a girl from school. He lost a family member, so he broke up with his girlfriend so he could have time to heal. The girl did NOT take it well and started harassing and stalking her ex-boyfriend. Eventually, she took it way too far when she broke into OP's house, redecorated a room, and served her ex-boyfriend a cake. OP decided to press charges for breaking and entering, but now people are calling him a butthole. What do you think? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best posts from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash and my The Butthole, where a 16-year-old stalker breaks into O.P.'s house and brings him a birthday cake. Am I the Butthole for refusing to drop the charges against a 16-year-old? My little brother lives with me and my husband full-time since both of our parents passed away in an accident last February. My brother is 17, I'm a 25-year-old woman, and my husband is 26. He's a great kid, but losing our parents made him a quiet, sad young boy.

I've tried to encourage him to attend therapy so we can work on his grief, but he's refused every single time, telling me that he's not ready yet. I get it, everyone works at their own pace, and as long as he's not deliberately hurting himself, I won't pressure him. I try to be as involved in his life as I can be without it being overwhelming. We both enjoy movie nights, our binge watch shows on the weekends, and he also helps my husband with his old car. Before our parents passed away, my brother had a 16-year-old girlfriend, and she seemed like a good kid too, but after the funeral, my brother decided that being in a relationship wasn't what he needed at that time and he

broke up with her. It was totally valid, but she did not take this well, and she was sure that my brother only needed some love to heal. Last month, she began to drop letters and gifts to our door, and my brother refused to open them every single time. She used a message and called him too, and I could see the distress on my brother's face. The worst thing happened last Friday. It was my brother's birthday and my husband and I decided to take him out.

When we got back, my brother went to his room and as soon as he did, he came running downstairs. His ex-girlfriend had broken into my house, decorated his room with photos of him with her, their friends in our family, put up balloons, and was waiting for him with a cake. Mind you, this is super creepy, so while my husband entertained her, I called the cops and they took her for trespassing on private property. My brother is thankful, but my husband and the kids' parents think that I'm overreacting, and I should drop the charges because she's trying to do something nice. Oh Okay, she was trying to do something nice. So like if a guy likes you know an actor or a pop star and he

Searches online where she lives and he sneaks into her house and he Sneaks into her room and he snips off little pieces of her hair while she's sleeping and then he takes that hair and puts it into like a little doll shaped like her so he can take it on dates and then take photos of him with that doll and send it to this girl that he love to show her. This is what our love could be like if you just would be with me. I mean that's him trying to do something nice right? In his head he thinks that it's a nice thing to do, right?

Clearly, as long as someone intends to do something nice, then that makes it okay, right? No, of course not, because that's absolutely insane. OP, what's your brother's ex-girlfriend is doing is basically stalking. He cut her out of his life, and then she continues to be obsessed with him, continues to try to make contact, and then she continues to be obsessed with him, continues to try to make contact and then she Literally breaks into your home and stands there uninvited after redecorating the room. This is this is creepy. This is not okay. This is not healthy. This is this is not respecting boundaries This is not legal. This is not morally ethical. This is not part of a healthy relationship. There's

There's so much wrong here. This girl needs a clear wake-up call. I mean, I get it when you're 16, you're insane. 16-year-olds famously make really bad choices. Aren't like Romeo and Juliet, weren't they like 15-16? And that's why they both killed themselves in the play because, oh, I love you so much and I just can't go on without you Blah, I'm dead because I'm an over-dramatic 16-year-old. So yeah, like 16-year-olds will just be that way. They're over-dramatic and they make decisions with their hormones. I mean, you know, if there's any 16-year-olds listening to this, not to trash on you at all, because I was 16 and I made very questionable choices as a 16 year old. So don't be mad at me when I say that 16 year olds don't make the best choices because I think

we can all agree that on the whole, on average, 16 year olds be a little bit questionable, a little bit down bad, thirsty, if you know what I mean. It's still just not okay to violate someone's space, to break into someone's home, and engage in this kind of behavior. It just isn't. And clearly she hasn't been getting the messages. Based on what you've said in this story, OP, your brother's been pretty clear about what he wants, or more specifically what he doesn't want from her. And she just keeps doing it and doing it and doing it, and to make matters worse, the behavior is escalating. So I think literally for your safety, OP, the safety of your home, the safety of your family, the safety of your brother, you do need to keep these charges to press these charges because if she doesn't get this wake up call, if she's not like, oh, wait,

hold on. He really doesn't want me. This isn't okay. I can't keep doing this. If she doesn't have that moment of realization, then she's going to keep going down this path because why wouldn't she, right? So no, OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes for this story. As a matter of fact, I would say that if you drop the charges, that would make you a butthole because that would mean you're in my opinion literally endangering the safety of your brother. Now, do I think she's gonna like hurt him? Do I think she's gonna, you know, come in guns blazing and murder your brother? No, probably nothing that extreme. But your brother's a minor and he's living under your roof, which means you're his caretaker. So you have a responsibility to monitor his safety, to make sure that he's physically

safe, mentally safe, socially safe. And clearly, this woman is not making him physically safe, mentally safe, socially safe, and clearly this woman is not making him mentally safe, mentally healthy. So I think it is your responsibility as his caretaker to ensure that there is distance between him and his ex-girlfriend. So yeah, I would not listen to your husband, I would not listen to the kid's parents. Of course the kid's parents are going to say, oh, you're overreacting because they have an obligation to protect their kid. But, no OP, double down, keep those charges, keep her out of your house, this woman needs a wake up call.

Am I the butthole for demanding my widow sister-in-law and her kids leave after she put a lock on the bathroom door and denied my daughter access to it? I'm a father to a 16 year old daughter. I own a mid-sized one bathroom house where me, my wife, my wife's widowed sister and her two kids who are 13 and 16 live. My daughter had issues with her mother and she asked to live with me permanently. I had the legal stuff finalized and my daughter moved in with us a month ago. She and her stepmom get along so far everything's been going well. My daughter had her period a few days ago. Nothing new, nothing strange, except that my sister-in-law came to me complaining about

my daughter leaving used pads in the bathroom, causing her sons to see them. I asked where exactly, and she said in the trash can. I laughed in her face, asking if she thought this was abnormal or strange. She got upset that I didn't understand her point, and she wanted me to listen carefully as she explained that her boys are pretty young, and shouldn't be subjected to witnessing stuff like that. I said that I'll see what I can do. I talked to my daughter, and I made sure that she wasn't just leaving her used pads and full display inside the trash can. It turns out she wraps him in toilet paper, which is enough, in my opinion. I told my sister in law there was no problem, and she should quit being sensitive over her boys.

She got mad, saying that I was dismissing her concerns, and reminded me her oldest had blood phobia, and my daughter, even though she was doing it unintentionally, keeps leaving her pads exposed. I welcomed any ideas to fix this, and she suggested that my daughter throw her used pads outside the house. I stopped arguing at that point because of how ridiculous she was being. She threatened to change the bathroom door lock if I don't do something, but I just laughed her off. My daughter called me the next day after getting back from school, saying that her step-on refused to let her

use the bathroom and was keeping it locked. She had to use her neighbor's bathroom, but she called to let me know. I was effing, livid. I went home and blew up at my sister-in-law. She apologetically said the lock was only for when my daughter tries to leave her pads inside, and she would have allowed my daughter inside if she agreed to put her pads elsewhere, but my daughter was stubborn. I told her that she was out of her mind to get a lock for my door in my house to keep my daughter from accessing my bathroom. I removed the lock and she kept lashing out and then called my wife. My wife came to calm us down, but I told her and my sister-in-law that I have no problem kicking my sister-in-law out.

My sister-in-law started crying. My wife said my sister-in-law out. My sister-in-law started crying. My wife said that her sister is a widow and she'll be homeless without us, and I said that I stopped caring the minute that she tried to keep my daughter out of the bathroom. I demanded that she leave, but my wife said that I was being unfair to those kids. I bluntly said that was not my problem, and she had six days to move out. Okay, oh my god. Can I just say before we get into this story that if you're the sister-in-law, why go out and buy a lock for the bathroom door? When instead, you could just go out and buy one of those trash cans that have the lid that's

like the little flippy roly lids so you don't have to see or smell what's inside the trash can. It'd be cheaper and easier and more respectful and it solves the problem having to look inside the trash can and see what's inside the trash can. So just, you know, buy the flippy lid. Why is this complicated? Why are we going nuclear and installing a lock on a door that isn't even yours to keep a child from using the bathroom? How was that the logical solution?

Okay, so now that I've gotten that out of the way, I can talk about the absolute audacity required to install a lock on someone else's door and someone else's house that you're a guest in so you can lock their own child out of the bathroom of their own house. Like, what? Is this sister-in-law even paying rent? Or is she just living here for free and then acting like she owns the house? That is nuts.

That's just insane. And why do I keep reading story after story after story? On Reddit about weirded out family members trying to criticize and shame young girls for having a period. Our teenage girls out there just fighting for their lives in the bathroom because they have periods and people are like, oh, period blood. If those 13 and 16 year old boys grow up to be, you know, straight guys who want to get

a girlfriend, then I've got news for them. They're going to have to deal with periods a lot in their life. So like, get over it. Anyways OP, I'm on your side. Your sister-in-law is nuts. The only thing I would say against you is that giving someone six days notice to move out is way too fast.

That's really, really fast, especially someone with kids. The standard is 30 days. So if you wanna kick her out of the house, which I do understand, I think it would be more reasonable and more fair to treat, you know, your family members with the basic respect that any tenant would get and give them 30 days notice. If she continues to be a butthole about this and keeps putting locks in the door and giving your daughter, you know, constant grief, then yeah, I could understand moving up the timeline, but putting

a woman in two kids out on the street in just six days, that's a little harsh OP. I would say maybe pump the brakes there. So I'm gonna give you 0 out of 5 buttholes with the asterisks of please be a little more considerate to the two kids because they didn't really do anything wrong in this story so they don't deserve to live on the street just because their mom is nuts. I'm giving your sister-in- law 2.5 out of 5 buttholes because she is insanely entitled. I'm giving your wife 0 out of 5 buttholes because it sounds like she's just trying to keep the peace. Obviously she cares about you, she cares about her daughter, she cares about her sister, and she cares about her nephews as well. So she just trying to keep the peace. I got nothing bad to say against her. I'm

giving her 0 out of 5 buttholes. And finally, your daughter, your 16 year old daughter, also gets 0 out of 5 buttholes because this is her house. She has every right to put her pads in the bathroom. As far as I'm concerned, she was being extra considerate by wrapping up the pads in toilet paper, so I see nothing wrong there, 0 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for selling my husband's Xbox to buy back the antique tea set that he sold without my consent?

I'm a 33 year old woman and my husband is 31. We've been struggling with money lately. I work at a hair salon while he works at a gas station, basically earning minimum wages that barely pay rent and other expenses. We don't have any savings, nor do we have the ability to save money. It's been like this for years. Recently, I found out that the antique T-Set that my grandmother gifted me was gone. My husband admitted to selling it for $300, so he could buy a gaming chair for his nephew who's a recovering cancer patient.

I didn't take it well, and I told him this T-Set was important to me, and I wasn't willing to let it go that easily. Now if he was selling off the T-Set to pay off debts, or rent, then maybe, but a gaming chair? No, not okay. My husband said that, A, I never used the T-Set, it's just sitting in some cabinet. B, his nephew has gone through so much, and he wanted a gaming chair badly and he promised to reward him for defeating cancer.

And see, he said that he would give me money to buy a better modern T-SET. However, I refused to accept that the T-SET was gone and let go of it. I contacted the buyer and he told me that I had to pay $450 to get it back, which was unfair. So to get the money back, I sold the one thing that my husband had that was worth that much money, which was his Xbox. I sold it for $400, and borrowed the remaining $50 from my sister. I paid off the buyer, and he brought back the T-Sets.

My husband found out, and he went off on me asking how I could do this to him. I asked him to hear me out, then explained that I sold the Xbox since he was the one who gave away my antique tea sets, so he was responsible for getting it back. He said that he promised to save money for me to get a better set, but I insisted that I went in my grandmother's tea set and nothing else. Because of the sentimental value attached to it, it's worth a lot to me. My husband blew up at me, calling me childish, saying that I shouldn't have sold his Xbox, the one thing keeping him entertained in these awful times. He's been soaking ever since, and he keeps reminding me that he got the sword into the

stick, because I got my precious T-set back, the buyer earned 150 bucks, and he lost his Xbox forever. He's refusing to talk to me, calling me evil with zero consideration for how to press and upset he's feeling. Am I the butto for how I return my antique teesets? Okay OP, so what you're doing in this post is you're playing by the rules that your husband established. He started this by taking your property, selling it without your consent, and then using that money to buy what he wanted to buy. Then you responded by taking his property and selling it without his consent and using the money to buy something that you wanted.

If you are a butthole here, then you cannot possibly be more of a butthole than your husband already is. Because the only thing you did in this story is what your husband already did. Basically, at the end of the day, how this shakes out is, your husband sold his Xbox to buy his cousin or his nephew rather a gaming chair, which is what he should have done. If you promised to buy the same for his nephew and he didn't have the money for it, then instead of stealing from you to pay for it, he should have made a sacrifice himself by selling his own Xbox to pay for the gaming chair. That's what he should have done.

But instead he was like, oh, I'll just steal from my wife. It's no big deal. I'm sure she won't mind because she never notices it. So, OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. All you were doing was returning the energy that your husband gave you. I'm giving your husband 2 out of 5 buttholes because he doesn't respect your property and he's being selfish. Also, I've got to say, you said the seller was being unfair by charging the extra 150 bucks, and honestly OP, I don got to say, you said the seller was being unfair by charging the extra 150 bucks, and honestly OP, I don't agree with that. The guy who sold you the T-set, it's not his fault that he bought a T-set that was never intended to be sold. I mean, yeah, if he were a nice guy, he could not charge you the extra 150. But, you know,

you wasted his time, you wasted his energy, he's got to probably ship it to you or whatever and it's just inconvenient. So I don't really blame the guy for charging extra because you're basically paying him for the time and energy that he wasted acquiring the thing from you. So I don't think I would say that's unfair. I'm giving him zero out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my husband that since he didn't help fund my mother's health care that I'll do what I want with the inheritance? I'm a 29 year old stay at home mom. I take care of the home in my four year old son while my 31 year old husband Sam works. I haven't had a job in four years because Sam wanted me to be a stay at home mom by the time our son was born. I accepted, since Sam hasn't absurdly good salary, and mine wasn't that great. My mom fell ill half a year ago.

Her diabetes became quite complicated, and she needed medical care. We don't live in the US, so expenses were relatively small. I asked Sam to please pay for half of her total medical bills, since my 25-year-old brother was going to pay the other half. Sam refused to pay a penny for the bill, and since I have no income, my brother had to pay it all. Sadly, my mom passed away a month ago. My brother and I just got the whole estate in order. My brother and I are each going to get a somewhat considerable figure since my mom had some properties. This morning, my husband told me

that he wants me to sell my part of the property so that we can make some non-bidle house repairs and possibly go on vacation. I laughed, more out of anger than anything else, and I told him that he had no right to suggest how to make use of the inheritance that my mother left when he refused to pay even half of her medical bills. He called me a butthole and went to work. I got a call from a sister who was extremely angry. She called me irrational and told me that since I was living off the money that Sam earns, I have no right to demand money from him. And that this inherent ends gives me the opportunity

to return some of the money he spent on me. Her call really got me thinking. And now I wonder if I'm really behaving like a butthole. OP, you are clearly not the butthole here. Your husband is literally using his money to control you. In fact, him calling it his money is completely incorrect. If the money he makes is his money, then does that mean that the house is your house and the kid is your kid?

Because you're caring for them, right? This is a toxic, financially abusive relationship. And you should see this as a major red flag OP. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your husband 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my the butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day. single day.