rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Abandoning My Kids to Go Party?

Episode Date: October 26, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole I genuinely can't believe the woman in today's story. She has 3 kids: a 17-year-old girl, another daughter is recovering from surgery, and her youngest is a special needs child. OP wants to go off TO ANOTHER STATE to party with her sisters, leaving her 17-year-old in charge of her younger siblings. The 17-year-old is upset because this means that she will miss out on a school dance. OP basically says, "Sorry sweetie, but mommy's party time is more important than your party time." Is OP the butthole? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best posts from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash Amid the Butthole, where OP abandons her teenage daughters so that she can go party. Am I the Butthole for telling my teen that she can't go to a dance because I need her to babysit and she's my only option? My kids are Bindi, who's 17, Ava, who's 14, and Fritz, who's 9. I'll cut right to the problem. My sisters and I are going for an overnight trip late this month. With my oldest sister's work schedule, the only time we can go out for the foreseeable future is a 29th. This has been planned for several weeks.

Bindi announced to me this week that her school is doing a Halloween dance on the 29th. She was so excited and was excitedly planning her costume. I hated to burst her bubble, but I had to tell her that she couldn't go. You see, Fritz is severely autistic. It's exactly what you're probably thinking. He's nonverbal, doesn't make eye contact, no toilet training, that sort of thing. This makes him much more difficult to leave with someone other than his sisters. When they were younger, I could easily find a sitter for them. Now the only people who will ever watch Fritz are his grandparents who can't watch him that weekend.

He also does well with Bindi, meaning she is literally our only option. Bindi did not take it well, and asked me why couldn't Ava watch him for a few hours while she's at the dance since Ava has babysat before. Well Ava's having surgery the Monday before that. Nothing major, but she's not going to be healed up enough to deal with one of her brothers meltdowns by Friday. I'm not saying a meltdown would happen, but it's always a possibility with them. Eva can help, but someone else needs to be there, and that someone else is going to have

to be Bindi. Bindi responded by saying, I didn't realize my siblings were so much more important than me, and she went up to her room scowling. I've tried knocking on the door and calling her, but she keeps sending me straight to voicemail. I get that she's upset and she was really looking forward to this dance, but I'm going to need her to make a small sacrifice for the family right now. I fully intend to make it up to her, but does expecting her to be there for the family make me the butthole? And I should add, their father died when Fritz was a baby. Besides my younger sister who's gonna be going on the trip, my family all live in another state.

O.P. Oh, O.P. O.P. Okay, okay, O.P. You have a special needs child. And another kid who has just gone through surgery and your response is, Oh, I can't wait to go on my vacation. I need it so much. You're leaving a special needs child and a recovering from surgery 14 year old girl in the hands of a 17 year old girl.

Awesome OP, that's just fantastic parenting. Then, then you have the audacity. What's the line, where's the line, what'd you say? I get that she's upset and she was really looking forward to this dance, but I'm gonna need her to make a small sacrifice for the family right now. So what you're saying is, you're free time, your ability to go on invocation, hang out with your sisters, drink some margaritas, and whatever is more important than your own daughters free time. So you expect your 17 year old daughter to make sacrifices for the family. But not you, the adult, the mom in the situation? Oh, Pete, are you out of your mind how detached from reality do you have to be to not understand

that you're the butthole in the situation? A parent doesn't push off the responsibilities to their kids so that they can go off and have fun. That's not how it works. I mean, yeah, obviously everyone deserves to have some free time. It seems like you're a single mom, so I don't want to be unsympathetic to that, but you don't get to have free time at the expense of your kids free time. Let's not lose sight of this OP.

Fritz isn't Bindi's kid. He's your kid. He's your responsibility. If you said that you needed Bindi to watch Fritz because you were taking Ava to the surgery, then okay, I can understand that because like what alternative is there, you've got to take the kid to the surgery so she can get whatever it is fixed. But no, you're running off to have some weekend night out with the girls. Give me a break, OP break OP OP you may as well

enjoy the free babysitting while you can because I have the feeling that as soon as Bindi hits 18 she's out of there and I don't blame her. Man it just it gets worse the more that I think about it. Suppose something goes wrong. Okay, suppose like who knows the house catches on fire or there's a break, or something terrible happens. What if the surgery stitches open up and the Ava, the 14 year old girl is bleeding from her open surgery wound? What is Bindi supposed to do? She's a 17 year old girl. Can't she drive?

Can't she drive them to the hospital? You said it yourself. No other family member lives. Oh my God. Oh my God. No other family member lives, oh my god, oh my god, no other family member lives in this state. So, the 17 year old girl is responsible for a recovering 14 year old who may or may not

be bedridden and a nonverbal 9 year old and if anything goes wrong, every single person in her family is in a different state. And what bothers me so much about this, what really pisses me off is OPs like, oh well, Bindi's really the only option. What you really mean to say OP, what you really mean to say is Bindi's the only cheap option. Just because Fritz is difficult to deal with doesn't mean that he's impossible to deal with. There are many, many professionals, nurses, caregivers who can come into your home and

watch a very special needs person for an evening. There are services like that. They're pricey, sure, but there are services like that. So to say Ben is the only option, just isn't true. It's just not. What's really going on here OP is that you want to save your money so that you can enjoy a girl's night out and you're making basically Bendy pay the price for it.

Am I the butthole for walking out of my job? I'm a 29 year old female and I work as a waitress at a restaurant with a point system. It's one point of your late, three points to call off with notice and five points for calling off within four hours of your shift. This is fine with me because I have no points this year and the last time I called off was 2018. I'm the type of person who covers shifts, stays laid, and generally just does my job well. Last week, I ended up calling off, and I was out of work for one week due to being hospitalized in the ICU with a horrible infection. I let my boss know at 2am that I was being sent out by helicopter, and I kept her informed of everything going on. Today was my first day back.

I'm not 100% yet, but like many places were short-staffed. When I came in today, I opened up and got to work. My boss came in two hours later and called me into her office. She informed me that I was getting 8 points, losing my discounts and bonuses for 9 days, and I was on probation. I was dumbfounded and I told her that I wasn't signing the papers because this was all out of my control. She said if I didn't, I would be terminated. I told her not to bother and I walked out. I'm now getting calls and

texts from my boss and my co-workers saying they need me and that I was a butthole for quitting over something so small. My husband thinks that I was right because it's ridiculous that I was a butthole for quitting over something so small. My husband thinks that I was right because it's ridiculous that I was getting punished for almost dying. Am I the butthole? Okay, OP, let's get one thing straight. There is absolutely no way that you're a butthole for quitting over something so small because you can quit for any reason, including no reason. Who are they to judge you based on where you choose to work or not?

Like that's completely your right. If you don't want to work there, then you don't want to work there. On top of that, the way that your boss treated you was extremely disrespectful. I have a theory that what actually happened here is that you're such a reliable employee and they were so upset that they lost that reliable employee for one week that they over punished you because they assumed that because you're such a good worker, then you would feel really bad about it and you would work extra hard to make their lives easier in the upcoming months. They were thinking of course that it didn't matter if you had eight points because, you know, again, you're such a good worker that eventually those points would roll over and

you would not get points again and you'd be fine. So they were punishing you just to punish you just to make you feel bad, not because they actually thought that you deserved to be fine. So they were punishing you just to punish you, just to make you feel bad. Not because they actually thought that you deserved to be fired. Clearly this was the case, because if you're so problematic that they were about to fire you, then why did they get upset when you quit? OP, you really shouldn't have to go online and have people tell you, no, it's okay to quit a job if they don't respect the fact that you almost died in the hospital because you were recovering from near death instead of, I don't know,

serving tables or doing the dishes or whatever. So no, OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your boss 2.5 out of five buttholes and I'm giving your co-workers one out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for not accommodating my brother's vegan fiance? So full disclosure, I do eat meat, eggs, and dairy. That being said, I'm lazy, and prepping and cooking meat takes more work than I'm willing to do a lot of the time. So I built up a pretty okay repertoire of vegetarian and vegan meals. That's why I volunteered to cook last night for a small family dinner, even though I would normally never do that. I love my mom to bits, but if the first step in a recipe isn't browning a pound of ground beef, she's a little lost on what to make. This is all a thing because my brother recently got engaged

to a vegan woman. None of us have really spent a lot of time with her due to the pandemic, and generally having our own lives. The time that I have spent with her has been perfectly nice, so I also thought this dinner would be perfectly nice. So I also thought this dinner would be perfectly nice. So I did my best. I put together a Dijon vinaigrette salad, pasta tossed with roasted asparagus and cherry tomatoes, and because this is America where carbon carb doesn't have to be just a dream, I got some bread that I effing vetted to make sure that it didn't have any milk or eggs in it. She could eat every single thing I served. At least I thought so. We sit down, plates are dished, and she has some questions. Whatever, fair enough. I can imagine that she's been in situations where things

seem safe to eat, but surprise there's honey in the salad dressing or something. I reassure her that I did my homework, but she has other complaints. You roasted the vegetables in olive oil? There's olive oil in the salad dressing? The pasta isn't whole wheat. This is white bread. Yeah, it's all vegan, but it's not stripped down to be as few calories as possible. And now she won't eat. She just sat there on tour of one of the rolls into tiny pieces until the table was cleared. My brother texted me later that night about how messed up it was that she had to go home hungry, and this is where I might be the butthole.

I replied saying that I thought that I had to cook to accommodate veganism, not an eating disorder. He told me to go f myself, which, again, fair. Now I imagine that a cold war is brewing, and my mom is inevitably going to get sucked in. I also could have tried to make something healthier, though I don't think what I serve was that bad. Am I the butthole? Ha ha ha ha ha! OP, you served a Dijon vinaigrette salad, pasta with asparagus and tomatoes, and then vegan bread,

and that meal is unhealthy? Am I like, am I out of touch in the culinary world because to me, this all feels like perfectly healthy rabbit food. If this is not healthy, then the way I eat food must make me seem like job of the hut. Olive oil? There's something wrong with olive oil? Olive's a vegetable.

It comes from a tree. Isn't olive oil one of the healthiest oils? Am I wrong about this? Am I wrong? Is olive oil unhealthy? Olive oil is extremely healthy. It's not only loaded with beneficial fatty acids and parafel antioxidants, but also a dietary staple

for some of the world's healthiest populations. This coming from healthline.com, not bymyolives.com. Okay, you know what, I'm getting sidetracked. I think the problem with this post isn't whether or not the meal was healthy, because I'm pretty sure it was healthy. The problem with this post is that your brother and his fiance had very, very particular expectations about the food that was to be served. And either they didn't convey

that to you appropriately, OP, or you didn't understand it appropriately. Unfortunately, we don't know if they failed in communicating it or you failed in understanding it. But I think that we just have to like, Occam's razor this and assume that they just said, Hey, I'm a, I'm a vegan and just left it at that. They didn't specify that, Oh, I don't eat olive oil because olive oil is only for fatties. And I don't eat white bread because white bread needs the whole grain and blah, blah, blah, blah. She probably just said, hi, my name's Rebecca and I'm a vegan.

Hello, nice to meet you. And that was kind of it. So if you take that information, OP, and you make a vegan meal based on them saying, hello, I'm a vegan, then I think that's reasonable. If she's so specific in what she can and can't eat and she's going over to someone's house, then she should say, hey, like just let you know, I have very, very strict dietary restraints here are my requirements. If you do want to cook a meal for me, that's fantastic.

I would really love to try your cooking. I want to be a gracious guest. However, because my requirements are so, so, so strict, what I want to do is I'm going to bring my own dish, not as an insult to you, but just because a lot of people don't have a lot of experience cooking with my meal or cooking with my like requirements. So if that's okay with you, I would love to bring my own dish, but if you can cook with these requirements, I think that's like a very diplomatic way to do it. That's what they should have done. But instead, they're just like, oh, this is white bread that we're supposed to dip in olive oil, olive, which is vegetarian. What do I look like? A pig. So, nah, OP, I'm on your side. I'm giving

you zero out of five buttholes and I'm giving your brother and his fiance, let's say one out of five buttholes. They were being a tad entitled and unreasonable, but nothing to like flip out over. Am I the butthole for calling my dad's girlfriend, his mistress? My mom died of a brain aneurysm two years ago. She was 39 at the time.

She and my dad, who's 42, were no longer together before she died because my dad, who's 42, were no longer together before she died because my dad had an affair with his work colleague, Amanda, who's 37. They were getting a divorce, but my mom died before it was finalized. I was 18 when my mother died, and to be honest, I resented my dad because of the heartache he caused my mom, and I blamed him for her death. After mom's funeral, I refused to talk to him until recently he contacted me and we started to reconnect. He and Amanda are still together,

and I've started to accept their relationship because I saw how happy my father is with her. Last month, dad told me that he and Amanda had gotten engaged, and he wanted to let me know first before he shared the news with everyone else. I told him I was happy for them. Last week they had an engagement party where they invited some of our friends and relatives. During the toast, dad said something like, I just can't wait to marry the perfect woman.

I think God forgiving me the love of my life after all those years that I wasted with someone else. I walked out of the room after hearing what my father said. He basically considered his marriage to my late mother a waste of his time. It broke my heart, and I wanted to leave right away, but Dad's friend and Amanda followed me. Amanda said that Dad wants to give me a message, but I told her that I can't stick around because I feel sick. My godfather tried to convince me to stay and say a few words. I got tired of holding my anger in and I just said, I have no good words to say about my cheating father

and his mistress. I need to go. A man to got angry with me and called me a butthole and said, I have to get over the past. I didn't even say anything and just left them behind. I was with my boyfriend who picked me up when my dad called me and he was furious with me. Apparently, what I said made Amanda cry and he was furious with me. Apparently, what I said made Amanda cry and he's now demanding an apology. He also accused me of ruining his engagement party. I told him that I could have made a scene but I didn't and there's no way that I'm apologizing for stating facts. Am I the butthole? Did I overreact and ruin their party? My boyfriend said he understands how I feel, but my grandparents on my dad's side are

disappointed with me for overreacting and calling Amanda a mistress. I remember I was watching this, um, the bachelor actually, I love the bachelor and the bachelor at my wife watched it all the time. And there was a guy on there who had lost his wife and he was dating this, um, the bachelor at. And they were discussing his discussing his previous wife. And he said, how lucky am I to get to fall in love twice. And that's such a sweet romantic, considerate way of viewing both of your relationships

or respecting both of them. Because theoretically, this guy fell in love with your mother all those years ago, otherwise why would he have married her? And a result of that marriage is you his daughter and he's basically taking that entire relationship and you along with it and dumping on it publicly in front of your own family and she has the audacity to get upset at you for Walking out peacefully and not making a scene. What your father did was peacefully and not making a scene. What your father did was absolutely disgusting. There are so many other things that he could have said to honor his new fiance without dumping on his ex-wife. He's the guy who cheated. He's the cheater. Oh, man, why are there so many awful people in this world? It's exhausting to read

sometimes, man. Why can't people be decent human beings? Why get married? Why have kids if you're going to treat these people that you choose to have in your life like garbage? I don't understand. And it's exhausting reading just asshole after asshole after asshole choosing to be assholes. Opie, your dad's an asshole. He's a complete asshole and his girlfriend, yeah, she is a mistress. You can't sleep with someone's husband and expect that guy's kids to just be like, oh hi, are you my new mommy?

Give me a break. She's 37. Grow up, you pathetic, loser, and understand that you helped break up a marriage. The kids of that marriage have no responsibility to respect you at all. They just don't. These are the consequences of your actions and you have to live with those consequences. OP I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your dad 4 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving his fiance 3 out of 5 buttholes and the grandparents also 3 out of 5 buttholes.

As far as I'm concerned OP, I think you were better off when you were no contact with your father. I can't even imagine the amount of trauma that you would instill in a child by telling them their entire life. Their relationship that created them was a waste of time. It's just so disrespectful. Like, I hate your mother so much. Your mother was such a piece of garbage wife that even though we had you, the entire time was a waste of time. I regret it all. If I could delete that entire relationship, including my own daughter, I would do it. Some things just should never be said. That speech is something that should never be said. Do I want to upgrade this guy to 5?

Yeah, sure. This guy gets 5 out of 5 buttholes. What an asshole. That was our slash of my the butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put our new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.