rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Becoming a Mega-Karen?

Episode Date: August 13, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP is a parent of a child attending middle school. The school takes away her kid's phone, so OP drives to the school to get it back. However, the school refuses to ...hand it over. OP becomes enraged because it's her daughter's phone, not the school's phone, so what ride do they have to keep it? She activates Karen mode and makes a scene in the principal's office until they give back the phone. Is she the butthole here? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best posts from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash, am I the butthole where OP channels her inner Karen? Am I the butthole for insisting I get the phone back despite policy? My kids attend a year-round school and started back up for the new term two weeks ago. My daughter, who's 16, ended up getting her phone confiscated for using it during class to watch TikTok. We had discussed this before she even got the phone, but we still had some issues with it. As a last resort, I told her that if it happened again, the phone would become mine, and she
Starting point is 00:00:32 would get an old flip phone that was my husband's with no internet until she could prove trust. This last term, the school changed her policy. It used to be that the phone would be confiscated until a parent could come get it. But now, the school would keep the phone for two weeks as a first offense, and three weeks for the second, and so forth. I was not okay with this, because I don't trust the school to not lose it. Plus, I don't want them having access to my daughter's private information. I went to the school and requested to have it back, saying that I wouldn't give it to
Starting point is 00:01:01 my daughter, and I'm the one who paid for it. The secretary gave me this whole spiel, and I didn't blame her, but I asked to speak with the vice principal. He came out and repeated the same spiel. I said, okay, but I'm the parent. I paid for it, and I never signed anything giving you permission to hold it. They refused, so I said that I'd sit in the office until it was given back. I did so, and waited for close to two hours. Finally the principal came out and said that I'd sit in the office until it was given back. I did so, and waited for close to two hours.
Starting point is 00:01:26 Finally, the principal came out and said that I had to leave. I said that if I left, I'd be back with the police escorts. At that point, the phone was returned to me. My husband says that I care into my way out of it, but to me, it's not their property to take. Am I the butthole? O.P. smartphones nowadays are like $1,000. That's your property that you bought and paid for, and the school can't just take the
Starting point is 00:01:49 phone and hold it because, well, we don't want them using phones in class. So well then confiscate it until after class, but you can't just take someone's property that's worth $1,000 and not give it back for almost a month. I'm pretty sure it's illegal to take someone's property and not give it back. That's called stealing. And yeah, a school can steal property too. Anyone can steal property. And on top of that, there's the very real safety concern.
Starting point is 00:02:14 So let me pose a very possible scenario here. OP's family isn't very wealthy, so they can afford one and only one phone for OP. And if that phone gets confiscated, then they can't go out and buy another one, not even a cheap flip phone. Then that 16 year old girl is left without a phone for two or three weeks
Starting point is 00:02:31 based on that school's policy. Well, 16 is old enough to drive. So what if she goes out in her car breaks down and she doesn't have her phone to call for help? What if she goes to a party and finds herself in a really dangerous situation? Like, there's countless scenarios where a young, vulnerable teenage girl would really want to have a cell phone on her.
Starting point is 00:02:49 OP, that school's policy is dangerous, stupid, and illegal. Okay, and moving on to your husband's point about how you carry underway out of it? Okay, so I've got a YouTube channel that's built around the cornerstone of making fun of Karen, so I made fun of a lot of Karen's. What you did OP was absolutely not being a Karen. You didn't make a scene, you weren't being entitled, you were just asking them politely to get your property back. Honestly OP, waiting there for two hours was an amazing display of self-restraint.
Starting point is 00:03:19 I think you handled the situation beautifully, if it had been me, I would have been a lot angrier. So yeah OP, I think you're completely in the clear here. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your husband 0.5 out of 5 buttholes and I'm giving the school 3 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for buying my boyfriend birthday gifts? I'm confused and upset. My boyfriend turned 21 last week and I bought him a new video game that he had been wanting
Starting point is 00:03:44 in a t-shirt. He started ignoring me and leaving me on red after that. I asked him what was wrong and he finally said that it was unfair that I got him birthday presents because now he's going to have to get me something for my birthday and that I'm being manipulative. I told him, no, you don't have to get me anything for my birthday, but I would like to spend some time with you that day. My boyfriend said that it was a dick move that I got him gifts.
Starting point is 00:04:07 He says that I was trying to make him feel obligated. I told him it's a thought that counts and that he doesn't have to get me anything, but that if he does, then I'd be happy with just a card. But he keeps saying that he's unsure if he can deal with a materialistic girlfriend. Was it wrong that I got him gifts? I just don't understand anymore. Opie, there's one of two things going on here. One, he's a complete nut job who actually believes the stuff that he's saying and doesn't understand basic human interactions. In that case,
Starting point is 00:04:36 run as fast as possible. The second possible scenario is that he's just saying this to manipulate you because why would anyone actually believe this? In that case, also run OP because he's gaslighting and manipulating you. OP, please see this as the red flag that it actually is. Am I the butthole for telling my wife that if she wants to bid share, then she needs to sleep in the kids' bids? My wife and I have been together for six years. She has a 13 year old and a 9 year old. When we first got together, they were still sleeping in her bed, and they were both
Starting point is 00:05:08 relatively small and I worked nights, so it was never an issue. Last year, however, I suffered a work injury, and now I have to sleep on a memory foam mattress. I assumed by now that both kids would have grown out of co-sleeping, but obviously they haven't. I can't comfortably sleep in a bed with two kids, especially because my 9 year old stepson is a little ninja. He is constantly kicking during the night. The kids will occasionally sleep in their own beds, but very rarely. My stepdaughter is a little better, but my stepson will have meltdowns if we try to send him to his own bed. My wife doesn't believe that we should force them out, which I understand, but I can't keep sleeping on the couch when they're in the bed.
Starting point is 00:05:49 A couple of days ago, I blew up over it. My back is killing me and I'm tired. I essentially told her to take the kids and sleep in one of their beds because I need the comfortable mattress for my back. We never really got to discuss it because my stepson got upset and started crying. That night, she took the kids to spend the night at the grandparents' place, and when she got back home, she explained that they wouldn't all fit in one of the kids' beds. She agreed that I could have the big bed, but she's ordering a memory phone mattress
Starting point is 00:06:18 for our son's bed so I can sleep there comfortably. But I don't want to sleep in a kid's bed. I want MY bed and I'd like to actually spend a night with my wife. Her parents are on her on the kid's side, obviously, but I still don't think that I should have to give up MY bed for them. Saying this in the nicest way possible, I'm the one who paid for it. The issue is getting worse and my in-laws are now calling me abusive. So am I the butthole? Opie. No, no, no, no, you are not the butthole here.
Starting point is 00:06:49 Like, it's not just about you. So, okay, we'll start with you, but it's not just about you. First of all, you have special medical concerns. You need a big bid with a comfortable mattress because of your back. So, it's completely unreasonable for your wife to expect you to share with everyone.
Starting point is 00:07:03 Also, it's your wife and your bid. It's completely reasonable for your wife to expect you to share with everyone. Also, it's your wife and your bed. It's completely reasonable for a married man to expect to spend the night in his own bed with his own wife. Also, I think we have to take into consideration the mental health of the kids here. Your wife is clearly fostering some kind of attachment issue with your son. He's what? Nine? I mean, if your wife and your stepson want to sleep in the same bed, okay, I guess that's fine. But the fact that it's not even possible for a nine-year-old
Starting point is 00:07:30 kid to sleep in a different bed is a bit of a red flag. That to me indicates severe attachment issues that is not healthy. Also, what about your stepdaughter? No 13-year-old girl should have to sleep in the same bed as an adult man. I mean this has nothing to do with her being your stepdaughter as opposed to your biological daughter. If she were your biological daughter then the same would apply, she should have her own bed. Right? You shouldn't have to share your bed with a teenage girl and the teenage girl shouldn't
Starting point is 00:07:57 have to share the bed with you. And I guess things are kind of functioning okay with your steps on sleeping with your wife. But in a couple of years when he turns 12, he does not need to be sleeping in the same bed as his older sister and his mom. I remember what it's like to be 12, and basically a stiff breeze could give you a boner. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. What you want is completely reasonable.
Starting point is 00:08:20 I'm giving your wife 2 out of 5 buttholes, and I'm giving your in-laws 3 out of 5 buttholes. Calling you abusive because you want to sleep in your own bed with your own wife is going way too far. Also, down in the comments, I'm going to read this post from 4th thanks to follow the rules. Not the butthole, yikes! I watched my mom force my dad to sleep on the couch for their entire marriage because she'd rather have a kid in her bed. I was the oldest, and I slept with her until I was 10. I'm an adult now, and I still have a hard time sleeping if I'm home alone. It's made things worse for me. Eventually, my dad got fed up and divorced her. The number one rule for my husband and I when we had kids was no kids in the bed, with the
Starting point is 00:09:01 exception of nightmares and sick kids, of course.. Also I have a story to share myself. So you go sleeps in the bedroom with me and my wife and obviously we prefer that he sleeps at the foot of the bed between us. However, his favorite spot on the bed is that little like divot in between the two pillows. So we never let him sleep there when we fall asleep, but sometimes after we've already fallen asleep, he'll jump up on the bed and slowly creep up between us so he can lay in between our two pillows. So every once in a while, my wife and I will wake up. One of us will turn towards the center of the bed and we'll be face to face with dog
Starting point is 00:09:41 butts, or if we're lucky, dog face, which is much more pleasant. But nothing is quite as bad as waking up because you're like, oh my god, is that dog poo? Did you go poop in the bedroom? And then you turn to the, and then you turn your head to the side and realize, no, I'm smelling that because my face is two inches away from dogbutt. Luckily he doesn't do it too much anymore, it happens maybe like once or twice a month, but it's kind of funny when it happens. Am I the butthole for cancelling the family trip because my stepson damaged my plants?
Starting point is 00:10:16 I grow indoor plants and keep them around the house, whether by the kitchen window or out on the front porch. I have a variety of plants. Lily, Aloe Vera, also flowers that require special care and attention. It's a hobby of mine, and because I don't have much of a backyard, I just stick to indoor planting. I have a 16 year old stepson, Sean, who loves to pull all kinds of pranks, and he's been trying some weird pranks on me lately. I don't mind it as long as he's happy, and also because it's nothing too serious, just like hiding my farming tools and replacing them with damaged ones and so on.
Starting point is 00:10:48 He just keeps messing around like any other kid. Days ago, he posted a Facebook video of him spraying cold water on me while I was sleeping. It was embarrassing since he shared it with family. I got mad at him and had him delete it, despite him begging me to let him keep it. He kept sulking afterwards, and had his mom try to convince me to let him repost the video, but I thought that was a crazy request. Then Sean suddenly became friendly and asked if he could water my plants. I was glad that he asked, gave him the watering can and told him to start with the plants
Starting point is 00:11:18 in the kitchen. He left for a few minutes, then came back and started watering all the plants in the house. Later that evening I was cleaning my tools, and there was a weird smell coming from the watering can. It smelled like bleach. I freaked out and checked my plants, and the same smell was coming from them. I confronted Sean and asked what he watered the plants with. He acted dumb and said nothing, but I found a bottle of bleach in his room which made
Starting point is 00:11:42 me lose my temper. He admitted to watering my plants with bleach to get back at me for making him remove the video. I was mortified and I immediately canceled the weekend trip to the National Park that he was looking forward to. He started crying, saying that I was going too far and that he made a mistake in a moment of clouded judgement. I refused to discuss it.
Starting point is 00:12:05 My wife feels bad that Sean hasn't been eating well since I canceled the trip, but he damaged my plants and caused me hurt and pain. She thinks an apology was enough, he's a kid and made a mistake. She wanted me to let it go, but I said that canceling the trip was his official punishment. Period. My wife called me unreasonable and stubborn for this. She said that I don't respect her as a parent, and that taking away the only thing that he cares about and looked forward to reeks of abuse. Sean has this mentality that if he admits doing
Starting point is 00:12:35 something wrong, then he'll be forgiven. This isn't how it should be, but his mother thinks that admitting to it and apologizing should be the end of it. What OP, what is your wife talking about? You can't just hurt someone over and over again, damage or property and be like, whoops, my bad, and then just get away scot free. If it was my kid, I would have grounded him until he paid me back every single penny for those damage plants. Kids need to be taught that actions have consequences because if they never learn that lesson then they grew up to be despicable human beings.
Starting point is 00:13:07 And what? Are we really supposed to believe your wife that cancelling a weakened vacation is child abuse? Give me a break. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. Your reaction was completely justified. I'm giving your steps on two out of five buttholes. He's being an entitled little jerk. I'm giving your wife on the other hand 3 out of 5 buttholes because she's
Starting point is 00:13:30 straight up just not raising her own child. O.P.'s wife, if you're out there and you're listening to this video, you kind of sound like an entitled parent. I'm going to be honest with you. 16 years old is way too old to be excusing this kind of behavior, from like an 8-year-old sure, but 16, no way. Your son is 2 years away from being an adult, and if he doesn't realize that pissing people off will have real life consequences, then he's in for a really rude awakening when he turns 18. Am I the butthole for telling my twin that she should have worked on herself instead of expecting
Starting point is 00:14:02 me to let myself go for her wedding? My twin sister, May, is my identical twin. At the end of her first year of college, I was in a car accident, and I ended up with a facial scar and major trauma. I started seeing a therapist because of the nightmares, and the fact that I was panicking any time I got into a car. That led me to realize that there were some deeper issues which we worked on together. As part of that work, I got a physical, started working with a dietician to fix my diet and
Starting point is 00:14:28 the smorgasbord of vitamin deficiencies it caused. I also started working out with our older sister. By the end of the next year, I'd lost half that weight, but I was still smaller at 134 pounds in my previous 120 because of my muscle mass. And that's been my size for the past half decade. I found a new beautician and she gave me long layers that I've always wanted but that my old one said would look bad so she refused. I stopped bleaching my hair and let it go back to its natural blonde slash life brown color. I also stopped spray tanning. Again, this has been my look for the past 5 years.
Starting point is 00:15:02 I live in a rural area and the internet isn't great. Things like FaceTime just are not options, and I can't post a lot of pictures on social media because of it. This is relevant because a big issue here is that Maiden see me over the quarantine. We talked on the phone a couple of times a week, but it mostly revolved around her wedding planning. I wasn't her maid of honor, so mostly I was being told decisions not being involved in the process. When it came to the bridesmaid's dresses, Mason's me, our sister, and our sister-in-law linked to a dress and told us to get it in our size.
Starting point is 00:15:34 It was the same thing with her and makeup, but we had to arrange for a beautician because Mae's beautician wouldn't do more than four people, and she wanted her friends to be at her appointment with her. Also, Maiden did a bachelor at party with us. She did it with her friends or have a rehearsal dinner so Maiden didn't get to see any of us until the start of the wedding. She was livid. Apparently she thought that we had all stopped working out because of COVID, even though we'd always worked out at home. Or that we would have stopped working out when she announced her engagement so we didn't upstage her. She was mad because I didn't try to hide my scar and I didn't tan and she thought it
Starting point is 00:16:09 was implied. She made several snide remarks before throwing a drunk temper tantrum at the reception. Basically accusing the three of us, especially me, of trying to upstage her. I told her, if you're so insecure, then you should have gotten off your butt instead of expecting us to lay on ours to make yours look better. From there, it only got worse. Our family is on my side because I didn't start or do anything, but the groom's family and her friends are all giving me flak. So am I the butthole? O.P., expecting everyone else at a wedding party to start stuffing their faces so they get nice and fat so that they're fatter than the bride is just moronic.
Starting point is 00:16:48 If your sister wants to look thin for her wedding, then she can go work out. How is it your responsibility? OP, you get 0 out of 5 blood holes. Your sister gets 2.5 out of 5 blood holes. That was our slash of my the butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put on new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. and my the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put on new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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