rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Causing a Mass Quitting?
Episode Date: January 20, 2022r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP is sick and tired of working at his terrible job. 20% percent of the department has already quit, which of course means more work, but not more money. OP overhea...rs his boss saying something awful to another employee, so he sends out a company-wide resignation email telling everyone what happened. This causes a mass quit because everyone is disgusted by the boss's actions. Now, the business is in jeopardy. Is OP the butthole for ruining his boss's business? Download Honey for free at Joinhoney.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to R-Slashe, am I the butthole where Opie destroys his girlfriend's family heirloom?
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Am I the butthole for using a diamond from my girlfriend's family heirloom for her engagement ring?
Oh my god, I don't even need to read this story and I know the answer is yes
I'm a 24 year old guy and I've been with my 22 year old girlfriend for about 3 years. And I decided about 5 months ago that I wanted to propose.
We share a dog in a home, so it seemed like the next logical step.
My girlfriend is hugely into jewelry, so I wanted to get her a really sentimental ring.
At the end of September, her grandma suddenly passed away, and since my girlfriend was the
only granddaughter, she inherited her
grandmother's wedding ring. Her and her grandma were extremely close, so I came to
her mom. For clarity, her deceased grandma was her dad's mom. I asked her mom if
she thought that it would be a good idea for me to use one of the diamonds in the
ring for my girlfriend's engagement ring. She told me that as much as she loved
the idea, she didn't know if my girlfriend would, so she told me to think about it. I couldn't find anything else that I liked as much.
My girlfriend didn't wear the ring because she was worried about losing it,
so she kept it in a box in a drawer, which made it easy for me to take it without her realizing.
It ended up being a beautiful ring, and I thought that she would absolutely love the sentiment of it. Well, I proposed.
She said yes immediately and was absolutely elated.
Until she saw the ring.
She told me that I'd practically vandalized and ruined the only meaningful thing of her
grandmothers that she had and that I should have asked.
I went to her mom for support, but she just kept saying that she warned me that my girlfriend
might not like the idea.
She said yes to my proposal, but she refuses to wear the ring.
Which I just think is disrespectful considering how much money and thought went into it.
Am I the butthole?
Opie, come on dude.
Really, you really thought that like, how can she possibly think that I'm the butthole?
I'm gonna post on Reddit and I'm sure everyone's gonna agree with me.
Really, you really actually had that thought.
Did you really post this story online and people were gonna be like, no, your girlfriend
is being completely unreasonable.
You went to her mother to ask for permission.
And she was like, I don't know, I mean, I like the idea, but I don't think my daughter's
gonna like the idea.
And why'd you go to the mom instead of the dad?
That doesn't even make any sense.
The dad is the very obvious clear choice
to approach with this question.
And then after getting a really like lukewarm response
to her, you stole the heirloom, destroyed it.
And now you're getting upset at your girlfriend
because you're the one who destroyed her family heirloom
without permission.
And she agreed to marry you.
So this is kind of a mood point.
But what if she has said no?
Like, like what then?
Oh, well, in that case, I guess you want part of your grandmother's destroyed ringback.
Sorry, my bad.
Come on, OP, you can't steal someone's precious family heirloom with extreme sentimental value.
Destroy it, and then be like, but I did it for you, babe!
OP, your girlfriend gets easy zero out of five buttholes. You get four out of five buttholes.
Am I the butthole for not letting my boyfriend name our daughter, Renesme? Renesme. I don't
know how to pronounce that name. My boyfriend and I are both 18, and I'm 35 weeks pregnant
with our daughter. Since the day I found out that we
were having a girl, my boyfriend has been hell bent on naming her Renezme and absolutely
refuses to compromise. He's a massive twilight fan. Personally, I hate it and I would
much rather that we don't name our baby after a fictional character. It kind of hit a boiling
point last night. For weeks, I've been telling him that we're
coming up with something else because I am not naming my child that. I went on to Instagram where
he posted a picture of us and said in the caption, I can't wait to meet you, Reen's May. I got really,
really mad at this. I told him to delete the post or change the caption because I am not naming
our daughter that.
He refused, saying that his friends now knew the name so we had to stick with it.
I said, I have not, effing agreed to name our daughter after some stupid made up character
from the worst books ever effing made.
Delete that post now or get the f out of my house.
He left to spend the night at a friend's place, and my parents who heard the argument said that I should just let him name our daughter that,
saying that it probably means a lot to him and that I'm being an unreasonable butthole.
Am I the butthole? Then O.P. adds, I should point out that I have a stutter, and I can't even say
Rinesse may out loud. I would much rather name my child something that I can actually
say. Opie, the fact that your boyfriend wasn't even willing to consider your feelings,
and he reacted by getting upset, manipulating you into agreeing with him, and then leaving
to stay at his friend's place is a massive, massive red flag. And I'm really sorry that
you have to have a kid with this guy because he sounds
like a major douchebag.
Of all things, naming a kid should be something that both parents have to agree on.
You can't have one parent love the name and the other parent hate the name, let alone
not even be able to say the name because they have to live with that name for their entire
lives.
OP, you get zero out of five buttolls.
You should absolutely not back down on this. Especially since you can't even say,
Ryniss and my A out loud.
I'm giving your boyfriend three out of five buttholes,
and I just wanna add that it sounds like
he's kind of an abusive partner.
Am I the butthole for asking my neighbor
to move her craft room to a different bedroom?
My husband and I live in an upstairs
three-bit room apartment,
and the apartment below us is the same layout.
The house has been up for sale for a while and recently a woman bought it.
It turns out she doesn't have any kids, so I found it strange that she bought a three-bedroom
house.
But I soon found out that it's because she runs a craft business from home and she needs
two bedrooms to run it.
The problem is, unfortunately, she's decided to use the main bedroom, which is below us
as her main craft room.
At first it was fine because she hadn't fully moved in, but now it's driving me crazy.
She's in that room almost all day, and I can hear her walking around in the faint noise
in the machines.
I don't spend much time in my bedroom during the day, but when I do go in, it just annoys
me knowing that she's in there constantly.
Like, why can't she have picked the smaller bedroom since she knows the kids are at school
all day?
She usually stops using her embroidery and sewing machines by 7pm, but she told me that
she can stay up until 10pm some nights finishing off orders, which plays on my mind.
I go to bed at 9pm, and I can't sleep for hours as I lie there listing to her every
move. Just knowing that she's awake and walking about drives me crazy as I find it so selfish
that someone would buy a flat and work from home. My husband says that he can barely hear a
thing during the day and I need to calm down. He doesn't see the big deal about her using her
house as she pleases. Yesterday, I finally had enough and went
to her door. I told her how I felt about everything and how I can hear the faint noise
of her machines. She apologized and she invited me inside to show me her setup. All of
her machines are on some sort of anti-vibration padding to stop as much noise as possible.
So she claims the noise should be minimal and that you need to expect some noise from
your neighbors. I told her that I don't make any noise and that's when things took a turn. She said that she can
hear my kids running around and jumping off furniture all evening, but she would never dream of
complaining because it's just one of those things that happens when you share a building with other
people. I left before I said anything that I would regret, and I thought that was the end of it.
But today, my husband came home from working overnight, and he asked if I had said anything
to the woman upstairs, because she was very cold and blunt with him when he said hello.
I told him what happened, and he said that I'm a massive butthole.
I've spoken to a couple of my friends who think that I handled this completely wrong,
and that I'm a bit of a butthole for it, but I don't know what else I could have done.
OP, she turns off the machine at 7, but you lie awake at night obsessing over the fact
that she's still awake doing stuff?
That is weird, obsessive, and not normal behavior OP.
Besides, she has every right to do whatever she wants to in her house, as long as it's
within the confines of like the HOA and her apartment rental agreement and the law and
whatever else.
Based on your description, it sounds like she's being honestly pretty reasonable in accommodating.
Also, I am very confident that a couple of noisy kids are way noisier than sewing machines.
To make matters worse, you're above her, which amplifies all the noise that you're
making, especially your kids. So OP, you're wrong, entitled, and hypocritical. And it's ludicrous that
you say that she's selfish. What's what's the line that you said? I find it so selfish someone
would buy a flat and work from home. So OP, like you're saying that people aren't allowed to work from
home, that's that's ridiculous. Let me tell you a little bit about my situation and how like
a normal adult handles this problem. Obviously I have to record a lot of audio from my
job. So if there's a lot of outside noise like lawn mowers or leaf floors or people talking
a lot, then I just straight up can't record because I use a really high quality microphone
and that microphone will pick up on all that
Terrible background noise. So even though I work from home if people are being noisy outside
I had to just literally stop recording. I couldn't do anything
I had to just wait for like an hour for my neighbor to stop mowing his lawn or whatever and to make matters worse
Literally my next door neighbor owns like a landscaping company. So they are constantly, constantly outside working on their yard, moving around having
machinery, moving around like bags of mulch and talking about gardening and landscaping
and whatnot.
It's super, super noisy.
But am I going to come to them and say, how dare you have a home business which prevents
me from running my own home business and being noisy.
Like it's just ridiculous OP.
So what I did was I got this really fancy like sound booth.
Kind of imagine like a like a phone booth, but instead of having a phone in it, it's
just like foam padding and an air locked like sealed door with like an air filter in here
as well.
And it completely isolates the sound.
So like, so that way whenever I need to record, I can just come into my booth, close the door, and I hear absolutely
nothing from the world outside. It has incredible sound isolation. Right? That's how you handle
it. This is my problem. So I have to come up with a solution for it. I can't expect
every other person in the neighborhood to only mow their lawn and to only leaf blow outside
of normal 9-5 work hours when I record videos, that's ridiculous.
This is your problem OP, so you fix it yourself by moving to a different room or buying a white
noise machine, or better yet by stopping such an obsessive butthole about it.
OP your neighbor gets 0 out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving you 2.5 out of 5 buttholes.
Am I the butthole for making my pregnant wife sleep in another room?
Before everyone makes up their judgment from the title alone, please read the entire story.
So my wife is 5 months pregnant.
The pregnancy has been quite difficult for both of us.
She has hyper amesis, gravaderum, and it's extremely stressful on her. For those
who don't know, this is extreme, persistent nausea and vomiting during pregnancy. Hence, she's
not able to work, even part time, and I have to pick up most of the slack. I work full time
from 8am to 7pm. For the past two months, my wife has had a difficult time sleeping, which has
been worsened by insomnia.
There's a lot of twists and turns, and getting up to go to the bathroom every few minutes.
It absolutely destroys my sleep.
I don't want to sound like a butthole, but I do have to wake up early for work, and because
I'm a sensitive sleeper, I jolt awake easily with all the sudden movements.
I put up with this for a month until I decided that I couldn't deal with it anymore.
I was only getting 5 hours of sleep, and being in the tech industry, it's super hard to
function with limited sleep.
I brought this up with her politely and respectfully, and she completely understood.
She relocated to a separate room, and recently when her parents came to visit, she casually
joked about how she sleeps in a different room.
My mother-in-law did not take this lightly and pulled me aside to ask me why I've done
this.
I explained myself, and my mother-in-law said that this is the least that I could do to help
her.
But, what is she talking about?
It's not like I can actively help her with her sleep problems.
We went back and forth for a while until my wife chimed in and said it's no bother and
we should just leave it be.
I had a small argument with my wife after they left that she shouldn't have brought it up in front of them and I feel really guilty.
We've made up, but it got me thinking.
Am I the butthole for really making her sleep in a separate room or am I just looking out for my health?
Now OP, this feels pretty reasonable to me.
I'd say this is like a zero butthole score situation for everyone involved.
I guess maybe you could say the mother-in-law should like keep her nose out of your business,
but it is reasonable even for her to be concerned about her daughter's well-being while her daughter
is pregnant.
So taking you aside and asking, hey, what's up with this?
Feels pretty normal, so I think everyone in this story deserves 0 out of 5 buttholes.
Am I the butthole for causing a mass quitting?
I'm done with my company because they cut our pay to avoid laying anyone off, but then
we posted record profits, but they didn't increase our salaries or give us a 10% bonus that
everyone was promised.
20% of the department already quit, but I was hanging on a bit hoping to write it out until
next year. Then, the boss yelled at an intern bit hoping to write it out until next year.
Then the boss yelled at an intern for asking to go home early because her mom called to
say that her cat was dying and to go straight to the vets.
The intern went into a few days off, and the boss basically told her that cats were animals
and she wasn't allowed to request time off unless a human was dying.
He should have discussed this with her in private, but instead he went to the corner of the office where my entire team overheard him. She was crying,
and then she grabbed her stuff and ran out of the office. I sent a company-wide email,
which is standard, saying that I was quitting. And I highlighted the interaction between my boss
and the intern as the main reason, though I didn't name names. Then immediately, like 10 people email me back to ask who the manager was, and to avoid leaving a trace, I told them in person, and within a few days most people knew.
I work in IT where finding a new job is really easy, and tons of my friends would offer me referrals into their companies immediately.
I found another job within two weeks and I'm starting on Monday. Over two dozen people have sent out quitting emails and now the company is shutting down people's
emails a few days before they quit. That way we can't send out goodbye emails and link
our linked in our phone numbers so that current employees can't follow us to the next company.
The boss who yelled at the intern came to berate me because he was being disciplined and he might
lose his job.
I don't feel sorry for him because he's a jerk, but his family is going to be hit hard
because he doesn't have any marketable skills other than PowerPoint.
Am I the butthole here?
Nope, your boss sounds like a major toolback OP and he deserves what's coming to him.
OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes, your boss gets 2 out of 5 buttholes.
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