rSlash - r/AmITheA**Hole for Deleting My Husband's YouTube Channel?

Episode Date: April 19, 2022

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Welcome to R-Slash, am I the butthole where someone sends a dick pic in a work email? Am I the butthole for applying to a coworker's inappropriate text by work email and attaching them? Oh, OP, I am already here for this, this sounds messy. One of my coworkers who I thought was friendly, but that was it, because he's married, sent me some inappropriate text at like 3am on St. Patrick's Day weekend. He was asking me to come over and have some fun, saying that he had been into me for a while, and he knew that I felt the same. To be clear, I don't. I'm a lesbian, but I'm not open about it at work. He also sent me a naked selfie that luckily cut off right before his member, but man it was

close. When I saw the messages, I was out with friends and I was like, what the f? Okay, this is a Monday problem. I have a really strict rule with myself that I don't do work, think about work, or answer messages about work outside of 9-5 Monday through Friday. I also don't use my personal phone for work stuff. If someone from work calls or texts me and it's not one of the co-workers I see as a close friend and trust to not talk shop on the weekends,

then I'm not answering. And this time I include dealing with this douchebag as a work day problem, so I ignored his message. He sent me several text later saying, sorry, I was drunk. Then he sent me a text saying that he didn't say his message how he wanted to say it, but that he still in to me, and he had a feeling that I felt the same. On Monday, I wrote him an email on the work email saying, hi co-worker, I'm writing to follow up on your messages from their prior several days. See attached. Please only contact me through work channels during regular business hours. I do not use my personal number with colleagues. Additionally, I found the content of your messages unwelcome and inappropriate. Please only contact me regarding work. Signed, OP. I didn't send the email to HR,

but I did blind CC my personal email so I'd have a copy just in case. And he got really mad, texted me back, saying that I had crossed a line attaching his picture to a work email, and was I trying to get him fired? I screenshoted that text too, and attached it to an additional email saying, as per my prior email, please only contact me about work matters and only on my business email

are slack. He stopped texting me, but he came to my desk to speak to me and before he said anything I asked, is this a work question? He said that I knew what it was about and I said that I wasn't available for discussion at this moment. And if he did need to meet with me for a work matter, could he please schedule a meeting on the calendar and include a read ahead to brief me on the topic of the meeting? He walked off. I feel like I was a bit of a b-word in dealing with this when maybe I could have told him

to cut it out by text. But I'm also effing sick of dealing with this type of stuff at every job. And I feel like my patience to use my own time and energy to gently ask guys to cool it has worn then. And I want to set the precedent that I won't engage at all outside of work hours or work accounts. Am I the butthole for sending that email? Then, O.P. Posts in an update.

I sent an email to HR this afternoon and they called a meeting with me the same day. I told them everything, though there wasn't a lot to say that wasn't already captured in the emails. They assured me that I wouldn't have any more contact with him at work. They're going to meet with him tomorrow. And then, another edit. Oh my God! I went out to Happy Hour with a few of my female friends in my field to vent.

And one of my friends told me that she'd met this same guy at a professional conference, giving him her personal business card with her phone number, and he sent her a nasty pick too. She just replied saying that that was inappropriate and that she had a husband. And he said something about her husband not having to know. So she had her husband call him to leave a voicemail telling him to f off. And then she never heard from him again. I asked her if she'd be okay sending screenshots of the text exchange to my HR contact. She was. And she even wrote that she met him at a professional

conference where he was representing the company. That she gave him a business card for networking reasons, and he sent her an unsolicited, lured picture, and that she had to get her husband to intervene to stop the harassment. Then, another update. He was fired. I don't know a lot of details. I have a follow-up meeting with HR soon, but my co-workers told me that he was escorted out of the building this morning. One of my co-workers who sits near the HR office said that they heard him screaming at the HR staff during his meeting this morning. It's crazy how this stuff escalated, honestly. Just last week

I thought he was a chill guy. Opie. The way that you shut down this guy's advances using like corporate lingo is just so funny to me. As per my previous email, go f*** yourself. And then afterwards the guy tried to come to your desk and intimidate you and you're like, if you would like to schedule an intimidation meeting, please add it to my calendar. Thank you valued coworker. Opie, you get an easy zero out of five buttholes.

That guy gets four out of five buttholes. The dude's sexually harassing women at work, while also being a serial cheater on his wife. Look, am I the butthole for deleting my husband's YouTube channel? My husband is really obsessed with YouTubers and believes that we can become really wealthy as family bloggers.

In the beginning, I was supportive, but it's getting increasingly bizarre and embarrassing. Our family consists of myself, him, our three-year-old daughter, and his 71-year-old grandpa. We live in his grandpa's house. His pitch for our YouTube channel is basically the Ace Family plus a demanted cooking grandpa. What this means is that we pretend his grandpa's cars are hours and so is his house and that we're taking care of him. Side note, his grandpa is very healthy and is all there mentally. Grandpa's role in this is to cook a lot of food for my daughter and orphans while my husband records him.

It's basically the YouTuber's ace family and Indian grandpa's combined. After grandpa cooks and sends food to the local homeless shelter, me and my husband are supposed to sit around and talk about how his grandpa is so inspiring despite his illness and how he sundowns really bad. For those who don't know, sundowning is like, if you have dementia or Alzheimer's, I forget which one it is. But sundowning is when it gets really really bad at the end of the day, so in the morning you're really lucid and functioning, but as the day goes on it gets worse and worse, so that's this guy's excuse

for why his grandpa is functional during the video, but not functional later. His grandpa agreed to this, because he thinks that it's a cooking show starring him, but he complains that he doesn't want to cook so much food every day. I feel really bad because he's cooking so much food and we don't even get views. Eventually, my husband's mom found out about the channel and demanded that we take everything down. Grandpa also says that he doesn't want to cook for homeless people every day, he only wants to cook for my daughter. I got scared that Grandpa was going to kick us out, so I deleted the YouTube videos.

Am I the butthole? Okay, so this isn't really about YouTube, this is about your husband exploiting his grandfather for his own personal gain. There was this YouTube family, like family vlogger pranking channel that went viral for all the wrong reasons when Philip DeFranco exposed them because they were like basically abusing their kids for monetary gain. I forget their name, it was a while ago, but they would play these really, really cruel pranks on their youngest kid.

Without the kid's consent, the kid was clearly clearly not having a good time was not in on the joke and just miserable video after video after video. But because the kid was reacting so strongly and emotionally, it created, I don't wanna say good content because that's successful content, like,

it got views, I guess is what I'm saying. It resulted in views. So not only is what your husband doing unethical OP, but also this type of content just isn't welcome on YouTube. I think I still have to give you one out of five butthole because it sounds like you were involved in this channel in some capacity. So you're kind of like an accomplice, but it seems like you're begrudging and eventually sort of realize how wrong it is. So you corrected kind of like an accomplice, but it seems like you're begrudging and eventually sort of realize how wrong it is so you corrected the behavior, so I can't be too harsh on

you OP, but still you did kind of screw up here by enabling this behavior at first, so we're not a 5 but holes for you. Your husband of course gets 4 out of 5 but holes. What he's trying to do is really unhinged. Today's episode is sponsored by Coinbase. My second biggest regret is not starting my YouTube channel sooner. My biggest regret is not getting into Bitcoin back when it was like $1. I remember back when Bitcoin was super new, I was interested in it, and I thought about buying some, but I lost interest

because I didn't know what to do and it felt a little overwhelming. I really wish that I could have used a site like Coinbase back then. Coinbase is a website that makes it super easy to buy cryptocurrency like Bitcoin and Ethereum. Interested in getting into the crypto game yourself, then check out Coinbase. For a limited time, new users can get $10 in free Bitcoin when you sign up today at coinbase.com slash rslash podcast. Sign up at coinbase.com slash rslash podcast for $10 and free bitcoin. This offers for a limited time only, so be sure to sign up today. That's coinbase.com slash rslash podcast. Am I the butthole for scolding my struggling sister when she gives us grief about adopting a baby. My sister, who's 35 and her husband, who's 37, have been struggling with infertility since they got married 12 years ago. They've tried absolutely everything, from medical to spiritual,

but unfortunately nothing works. Now that she's approaching her late 30s, they're starting to look into adoption, but it's also been slow going since their financial condition isn't exactly stable for multiple rounds of fertility treatments they went through. I can only imagine the struggle, and I sympathize with her, but the stress is situation is bringing her and her husband honestly puts a strain in our relationship. My husband and I, who are both 30, lost our best friends, Mason and his wife Kate, two weeks ago in a horrible car accident. They left behind their son, Pete, who isn't even two yet. It was so sudden and so heart-wrenching. We're still grieving, which lowers our contact with a lot of people, including my sister and brother-in-law. Our main concern right now is ourselves and Pete. We've gotten custody of Pete since we're his godparents, and we're actively engaged in Pete's life since his birth, and because Mason and Kate didn't have a will or any immediate living relatives who can take him

in. We've decided to adopt Pete as soon as we can stomach the process. My husband and I never planned on having kids. And even if we did, this is absolutely not the way that we want to go about it. The situation is far from ideal, but we started the adoption process yesterday for Pete's safety if nothing else. We broke the news to our extended family and friends, letting them know that my husband and I won't be available for a little longer because of this. I just know that my sister and brother-in-law will have something to say about this. I had prepared myself to get

a few heated text messages or voice mails, but I did not expect them to turn up on my doorstep, crying about how unfair it is that we were given everything that we wanted and how we didn't deserve to be parents because we didn't go through what they had to. I have never seen my husband so angry before. He's usually very mild and gentle, but recent events have stretched our patience to the limits. We kicked him off our porch, and I told my sister before she left that since our pain inconveniences her so much that I shouldn't have her around me or my family at all anymore. I know she made a fuss about it, and now everyone has something to say to us. We turned off our phones, so we don't know which ones are cursing and which ones aren't.

I know that some people are cursing at us. My husband and I are both in pain and grieving, and we can't trust ourselves to be objective. Did we go too far? Well, OP, clearly the solution is to take Pete. Who's what? Two years old? Have a sit down heart-to-heart conversation with him and say, listen, Pete, sorry that your parents are dead and all, but honestly you're not our problem because our sister doesn't like you. So I don't know, good luck out there I guess. But hey, look on the bright side, a lot of superhero start off by having dead parents, so maybe you have like a super cool, edgy backstory going on.

Anyways, good luck kid. Right, like what's the alternative? You're supposed to send out this two year old orphan onto the street when you made a literal binding contract with his parents that you would be Pete's caregiver if they ever died. And you're supposed to just throw all that away because your sister has hurt feelings. What? And then she drives across town to confront you. Meanwhile, you have a kid unexpectedly out of the blue, and your friends have died, so you're grieving that, and she shows up to criticize you?

What is going through her brain? Imagine being so self-obsessed that when someone else dies and leaves an orphaned two-year-old, your response is, how dare they! Down in the comments, I'm going to read this post from Careless Detective, because they put it in a way that is so elegant and beautiful. It's just, okay. Hey, adopted kid here. I can give you tips on how to be a butthole if you want to be, because this story inflames

me anyway. Your sister and her husband, much like my parents, tried everything else before even considering adoption. That makes their future kid their very last option. They clearly would rather have their own child. This attitude disgusts me personally, but whatever, I guess that's normal for society. However, Pete is your first option. You sacrifice the lifestyle that you wanted to have for him. You chose his life before the future that you envisioned not as a last-ditch effort. It's guaranteed that you'll be a better parent.

You will be the butthole if you told her this, and honestly I encourage it. I actually didn't think about this angle, that is very, very telling actually. Super noble OP, the fact that you, yeah, you're literally throwing away the life that you wanted just so you can honor your friends and raise Pete, which is just honestly 10 out of 10 human being, noble, awesome, good person. I like you OP, be my best friends. Super awesome. So obviously you could zero out of five buttholes, your sister, do they get 5 out of 5?

Let me think. That seems a bit extreme. Yeah, okay, I Do they get 5 out of 5? Let me think. That seems a bit extreme. Yeah, okay, I'll give them 4 out of 5. It's pretty bad, but hey, at least they're not, like, abusing children or something. Am I the butthole for saying that it's a little embarrassing that a girl's nanny puts little notes in her lunch? So I'm a 16 year old girl, and this other girl, Nicole, who's 16, started going to my school after winter break. She's a little weird to be honest. She doesn't talk a lot, and when she does talk, she's so quiet that you can barely hear

her. She used to eat in her car, but one of my friends felt bad for her and invited her to eat with us. I noticed that all of her lunches had a little piece of paper, and she'd read it, smile for like two seconds, then fold it up and put it in a pocket in her lunch box. Sometimes she would take it out and read it a couple of times during lunch. I eventually asked what it is, and she said that she has a nanny and she writes her notes every day.

I asked if she thinks that's a little embarrassing, because I don't know anyone who has notes in their lunches past 5th grade. She got kind of defensive and said that her nanny does similar things for her siblings who are all in preschool or elementary school so it kind of proved my point. She started eating in her carigan and one of my friends got mad at me because apparently she had a really bad home life before moving here and she's never had anyone do that stuff for her. I don't know how the F she expected me to know that, considering she usually only talks about school, but it's starting some drama in my friend groups, so I want to know if

I was the butthole. Okay, OP, I don't want to be too harsh on you because you're a 16 year old kid, and people make really really stupid mistakes when they're 16. I mean, we all have. But like, you know, let's be honest, OP, you're being kind of a bully here. I mean I kind of a bully. You literally are being a bully. So like, what's the problem exactly? That this girl has a relationship with her nanny and that she and her nanny like each other and they share notes. So what's wrong with love and affection and maternal bonds? Like, your

friend wasn't hurting anyone. She was just eating her lunch, doing something that brings them joy for a couple of seconds, and you're trashing on that? Why? Why trash on something that brings someone else joy? It's just mean, man. So yeah, I get that you're 16, and when you're 16, your entire world revolves around being cool and not being cringey, but come on, O.P. You're being kind of cringey here. Don't be a bully. If I were you O.P., I would take the girl aside

in private, not in front of your other friends, and just be like, hey, you know, I'm really sorry about that. That's my bad. I shouldn't have criticized you. I just, I've never come across someone who like had that relationship with a nanny, so it was kind of surprising to me. And you know, I reacted badly, but there's nothing wrong with it and I apologize. I remember, um, one of my closest friends, actually probably my single best friend in life. I was over at his house one time and his mom was like, okay, sweetie, you guys have fun. I'm going to go to the store or whatever. And she came down, leaned over and kissed my friend on the lips. He kissed his over, and kissed my friend on the lips. He kissed his, he and his mom kissed on the lips,

just like a quick peck. And me being like, I don't even know, 13 at the time, my mom was like, what? You kissed your mom on the lips? Well, what is happening? And because, you know, my family doesn't do that. I had never kissed my mom on the lips, I never kissed my dad on the lips.

So it literally never even entered my brain. That this was a thing that other people do, just because I never been exposed to it as a kid. But then, you know, my friend was like, yeah, we do that. I'm like, oh, okay. I guess, huh. So, you know, I didn't mean to react so strongly.

I just had no idea that people did that. So I was surprised. And you know, it's not a big deal, man. So what I'm trying to say is, if you want to make out with your mom, go ahead and make out with your mom. No judgment from me. Anyways, OP, I'm giving your friend zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving you, let's say, one out of five buttholes.

That was our slash of my the butthole. And if you liked this content, check out my second channel by clicking the link in the description. Also, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcasts episodes every single day. content, check out my second channel by clicking the link in the description. Also, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.