rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Getting My Coworker Arrested at Her Wedding?

Episode Date: March 3, 2022

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP inadvertently destroys an wedding! OP's friend was cheated on, and then mysteriously her friend lost her wedding dress and jewelry. Later, OP gets invited to the ex husband's wedding, where she recognizes the stolen wedding dress and jewelry. OP alerts her friend, who calls the cops on them DURING the wedding! People are unsurprisingly furious about the wedding being ruined, so is OP the butthole? Get $10 in free Bitcoin at Coinbase.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slashe Am I the Butthole, where OPs sends the cops to a wedding and gets the bride arrested? Am I the Butthole for ruining my work colleagues' wedding and getting them arrested? I know the title sounds bad, but hear me out. I'm a 38-year-old woman and I have two work colleagues, Mary and Adam. Both are in their late 20s, early 30s. Mary started in the company first and then she got Adam to join. They worked in different departments and Mary worked in my department. Later, Mary left the company to pursue a different career. When they started at the company, they had already been married for a few years. Now, Mary is the kindest and loveliest person I've ever met. She was

always polite, helpful, and would cheer anyone up. We missed her dearly. So it came to us as a shock when we found out that she was divorcing Adam because he was cheating on her. I called her to express how sorry I was this happened to her, and we've been talking almost daily ever since. I was impressed with how well Mary held herself in this situation. She wouldn't badmouth Adam, and the only thing she mentioned was how her wedding dress and a few family heirloom went missing when she was moving her stuff out of the apartment. She thought they might be misplaced or in a different box, and they would turn up eventually.

A few years passed. I now work in the same department as Adam. He's a good work colleague, but he can be dismissive and ignorant sometimes. Adam invited me to his wedding with Chelsea, the lady that he cheated on Mary with. The entire department was invited, and yes, I made sure that Mary was okay with this. I also told her where the wedding would be. It wasn't too far from where she lived, so we could go for some drinks after if she wanted to. On the day of Adam's wedding, I noticed that Chelsea was wearing a similar dress that Mary had worn in the photos of her and Adam's wedding years ago.

So without thinking, I snapped a picture and sent it to Mary with a caption saying, doesn't this dress look familiar? Mary saw the message, but she didn't respond, and about an hour later, the police showed up at the venue. I need to add that the police in our county are ruthless, and any theft is considered a criminal matter for the cops to deal with. Police asked Chelsea to take the dress and Oliver jewelry off. Chelsea refused and started arguing with them, and then Adam joined in. Since they were rude to the police, they were taken to the police station. Everyone at the wedding had to leave. I tried to call Mary, but she wouldn't pick up the phone. We later found out that Chelsea was

wearing Mary's wedding dress and her heirlooms. Mary spotted them in the picture that I sent to her and she called the cops. Apparently, she had previously asked Adam if she had the missing items and he said no, saying that he never saw them. So after she saw the picture, she knew that Adam was lying and that he stole them. Chelsea had to leave the wedding dress in jewelry at the police station and go home wearing her underwear and Adam's jacket after they were bailed out. Yesterday, Adam returned to the office and went completely mental at me, blaming me for sending a picture to Mary and ruining his wedding. He also called me a butthole for what I did. This guy stole from his wife, or his ex-wife, I guess, then gave his ex-wife's dress and jewelry to his

mistress to wear to the wedding. Then all you did was send the picture to the ex-wife your friends with and she called the cops. So how does you sending a picture with an innocent caption make you the butthole here? Answer it doesn't. You get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Adam gets 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Mary also gets 0 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling

my cousin that he can't do an interpretive dance at my dad's funeral? I get that this might be a no-brainer, but hear me out. My dad passed away a couple of days ago. It was a long time coming, and it was only made worse by COVID. I'm handling the funeral arrangements as I was named executor of his estate. I included my aunts and uncle in the planning process out of respect while we were discussing the funeral. My aunts said that my cousin, whose diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, wants to perform an interpretive dance at the church in front of the casket to bid my father farewell.

I said no, absolutely not. For one, this is all happening in a church. The priest would have a stroke. Next, my cousin is not a good dancer. It's his hobby, and I'm happy that he found something that he loves, but I don't feel that my dad's funeral is the right venue to showcase his moves to candle in the wind. My aunt is having a fit, and my cousin is also extremely upset and has accused me of not letting him say goodbye to him in his own way. I told him that he's more than welcome to have a dance at the grave whenever he wants,

but that the funeral is not that time. Another cousin told me that he was planning to record it for a YouTube video, which is a hard no. I just don't think that it's respectful at all and I know that my dad would have hated the thing turning into Aspectical so am I the butthole? Come on OP you got to get those views gotta get those subscribers man It's like Jake Paul says the grind never stops. Yeah, so in all seriousness OP I completely agree with you you get an easy zero out of five buttholes

Also down in the comments. We have this contribution from Don't Ask Me Anything. Not the butthole. A cousin did exactly this at our great-grandmother's funeral. It was the most awkward effing thing that I've ever witnessed. I looked towards my siblings and my brother had his hand over his mouth trying not to laugh. I like to think that my great-grandma would have liked that, but all of her kids looks sincerely appalled and she pushed right on through with the literal song and dance. I will never forget that for the rest of my life.

God, posts like this are why I browse Reddit. It's just so chaotic and weird and random. The actual thought of doing an interpretive dance at a funeral never even crossed my mind. But now I know, apparently this is a thing out in the world that people do. So when I kick my bucket, I hope that all of my subscribers will come to my funeral and have a large interpretive dance party

to celebrate my life and mourn my death. Today's episode is sponsored by Coinbase. My second biggest regret is not starting my YouTube channel sooner. My biggest regret is not getting into Bitcoin back when it was like $1. I remember back when Bitcoin was super new, I was interested in it, and I thought about buying some, but I lost interest because I didn't know what to do, and it felt a little overwhelming. I really wish that I could have used a site like Coinbase back then.

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Am I the butthole for flipping out on my husband for canceling my job interview? In 2019, I could no longer work because of my physical disabilities. No company wanted to hire me for the past couple of years, and my husband said that it's better that I just stay at home and not worry about working. I agreed and my husband has become the breadwinner. But then it's like a switch flipped because before chores were 50-50, but after I lost my job, they became 100% my responsibility. And keep in mind that I have physical disabilities. His excuse for not doing anything to help is that I stay at home 24-7.

I told him that's not fair, especially since I suffer from physical discomfort. He made a deal with me and promised that everything would be 50-50 once I start working again. I told him I would find a job and he laughed and said, good luck. I remember this vividly because he made this strange laugh that I've never heard from him before. I started looking for a job again for months, but I had no luck until my friends husband found me a potential job at a company that would let me work from home. I was so excited and I felt like I was capable again despite the struggle. They

scheduled an interview with me, and when I told my husband, he looked red in the face, but said nothing. Two days ago, I found out that my job interview got canceled. I found out when my friend reached out to ask why I did that, but I said that I had no idea. I checked my email and found nothing because I never sent anything to the company. Then my husband came home and admitted to canceling the interview. I asked why and he said, This job has lots of requirements and it doesn't seem like a good fit for you. So to spare you the heartache of being rejected, I just canceled the interview.

I flipped out on him and told him that he destroyed my one and only chance at landing a job. He said that he was just feeling concerned about my well-being, and I told him that he probably didn't want me to work because he didn't want to split house chores and he seemed offended by that. He threw a fit about how unreasonable and selfish I was to even consider a job without speaking to him first. I told him that I don't get involved in his work life. He called me horrible for accusing him of having bad intentions.

Then, he went out to meet his friends probably to vent because one of them told me that my husband is looking out for me, but I was being cruel by yelling at him. He's been giving me the cold shoulder since then. Yo, what? He's also been deleting my social media accounts, claiming that they're bad for my mental health because of the negative effect some of these platforms have. Am I the butthole for yelling at him? Okay, OP. So, Jesus. Even just like the normal story is a major red flag, your husband is being very controlling, very manipulative, just very, very, very controlling here. Then on top of that,

the guy starts deleting your social media accounts. This is classic isolating behavior. One of the cornerstones of the abuser playbook is to isolate the person you're abusing from other people. That way, they don't have a support structure, they have no one they can turn to, they forget what's not normal because the only normal becomes the one person that around all the time, the abuser. So eventually, they think the abuse is normal. For a frame of reference, OP, I work full time as a YouTuber. I work more or less 40 hours a week, making content for my podcast on my YouTube channel. We also, my wife and I just had a young daughter. She's like, maybe 10 months old right now,

and my wife quit works so she can be a stay-at-home mom. And naturally, that means that while I'm working, my wife is doing a lot of work at home, taking care of the kid, feeding her during lunchtime, so on and so forth. But when I leave my office at the end of the day, I don't just not do chores, I help. I help feed the baby at dinner time, so on and so forth. But when I leave my office at the end of the day, I don't just not do chores, I help. I help feed the baby at dinner time, I change diapers, I take out the trash,

I do the classic like man stuff, like change life bulbs and unclog toilets. So it's completely unreasonable to just expect the person who's staying at home to work 24-7, but the person who goes to work only has to work 40 hours a week, like it's completely unfair. Then on top of that, if my wife were physically disabled, I would do even more of the chores. It wouldn't even be close to 50-50. It'd probably be like 25% her or 75% me. So OP, I'm saying all this just to illustrate to you that what your husband is doing to you

is not normal. I'm saying all this just to illustrate to you that what your husband is doing to you is not normal. Based on what I'm reading here, this really sounds like straight up abuse. OP, you get an easy zero out of five but holes. Your husband gets 4.5 out of five but holes. Also, I just got to end with this one point. I skipped the first line of this post because a lot of the times people say, hi, this is a throwaway account because I'm worried about privacy or whatever. So when I see

that line, I just skip it because it's not really relevant to the story. And so this first line is new account because he deleted my main. And I saw that I just assumed she was talking about a throwaway account. But no, this person has a new account because this douchebag deleted her reddit account. O.P. seriously, run, don't walk to the nearest exit. Am I the butthole for pressing charges on a former friend for shaving my head in my sleep? For context, a relative of my friend, Gary contracted cancer. I, a guy in my mid-20s, was sympathetic, and I even contributed $100 to a donation pool

for their treatment. But, Gary came to me one day and took his hat off to reveal a freshly-shaven head. He told me that everyone in his family was doing it in support of his relative, and so were a lot of our mutual friends. Then he asked me to get on the bandwagon. I told him, I don't want to shave my head because I like my hair. My hair is black, regularly combed and well styled. He said that I could just get a wig or something and had actually brought his shaver kit.

He was in the process of unboxing it when I told him that it wasn't happening. I don't even know this relative that he's doing this for, so I'm not doing it in the discussion. He called me a butthole and left angry. We didn't speak for a week. Then last Saturday I got invited to a party at another close friend's house. There I found out that Gary had tried the same thing on several other friends, and only a couple of them actually did shave their heads. Gary wasn't at the party, so I had a blast hanging out, playing video games, and listening to rock music. But I had way too much to drink and couldn't drive home, so they said that I could just sleep upstairs. I passed out on a bed, and I was blissfully

asleep until I was shaken awake by another friend who told me that Gary had showed up late, and they caught him shaving my head while I was passed out. I went to go look at myself in the mirror and I wanted to scream like I was in a horror movie. Gary even shaved off one of my eyebrows. Gary was still there, acting proud of himself saying, now you're gonna have to shave off the rest, just like me, low. I was furious and called the cops. When they got there, Gary fully admitted to what he had done to me and even said that he was justified. The police didn't seem to think so, as this is classified as a form of assault.

They asked me if I wanted to press charges and the first words out of my mouth were hell yes. Gary cussed me out while they took him away and cuffs. I tried getting my hair re-styled into something presentable, but there was no saving it, so now I'm bald too. Now a bunch of Gary's family is telling me to drop the charges because Gary was off as medication and didn't mean to do it. I was like WTF because I never even knew that he was on meds in the first place, but I

still refused to drop the charges. It's gonna take months to grow my hair back the way that he was on meds in the first place, but I still refuse to drop the charges. It's gonna take months to grow my hair back the way that it was, but all the calls and messages from Gary's relatives are starting to get to me. Just about everyone else in our friend group has cut Gary out, and they say that I'm doing the right thing by not dropping the charges, so I'm divided. Am I the butthole for pressing charges on a former friend for shaving my head and my sleep? So I feel like the story, the details, it's all kind of irrelevant. You could replace shaving your hair with pretty much anything. Am I the butthole for pressing charges on

someone who did blank to me in my sleep? Well, the pressing charges would imply that it's illegal, so if it's illegal, then it's automatically wrong, right? So regardless of what the thing is, the fact that he did it to you while you were asleep and you couldn't consent to it automatically makes him the butthole and you the victim. Also, I'm not 100% certain on this, but I think that calling someone up and telling them to drop charges, is that illegal? It feels like it might be illegal. I know witness intimidation is a thing. I don't know, but in any event OP you

get 0 out of 5 but holes, Gary gets 2.5 out of 5 but holes. I had a similar thing happen to me the first night that I discovered Mike's hard lemonade because they taste like lemonade. So I didn't realize that they were as alcoholic as a beer. I figured they were less alcoholic because they just tasted like sweet lemonade. So I was downing those things left and right and I got completely black out drunk. The drunkest I've ever gotten in my entire life.

And I ended up passing out in like a coat closet or something and when I woke up, I found out that some dude who I didn't even know at the party, I spoke no words to him I found out that he had like gotten a sharpie and written all over my drunken past out body and it felt awful It felt I did not like the feeling it shouldn't happen to me. It shouldn't happen to anyone It's like dude. What rights you have to do anything to someone else's body without their consent? Like this is basic how to be a good human being 101.

And that was just Sharpie. Let alone getting your hair shaved off. So what happened to me was not nearly as bad as what happened to you. So if I could press charges on that dude at the party who drew on me, I would, but I don't think that, I don't think that's illegal for one and for two, I have no idea what the dude's name is. So whoever you are, dude, who drew Sharpie on R-slash, like what would it have been like 12 years ago, screw you, dude.

That was R-slash in my The Blood Hole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. podcast episodes every single day.