rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole for Getting My Own Husband Fired?

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP is separated (but not divorced) from her cheating husband who is living with his hot, young mistress. Her husband refuses to sign divorce papers because he's hoping that she will pay him alimony. This tension leads to a blow-up confrontation at OP's work, so OP calls her husband's boss and gets him fired! Now her cheating ex is boo-hooing about his own wife getting him fired. Is OP the butthole here? Get $90 off and a free gift at Sunbasket! Go to sunbasket.com/rslash - Enter the promocode "rslash" at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-slash, am I the butthole where OP gets her husband fired? Am I the butthole for having my husband fired? I'm a 29 year old woman, and Richard, my ex, is a 34 year old guy. It's been three years since we separated due to him being abusive and cheating, but we're not divorced because divorce is expensive in my country, and whenever I apply for divorce, Richard insists on mediation. So divorce wouldn't even be granted because one of us is trying to save the marriage. He lives with his mistress, and they have a kid together who was conceived when we were still together. Due to both of them harassing and abusing me, I have a restraining order against both of

them. My employer is aware of all of this, because the utility company that my ex works for supplies the buildings that their offices are at. His company is one of the major suppliers in the company. Now to the actual events. Due to restrictions, everyone is currently working from home with a few days in the office. Richard decided to show up at my work with his kid and he demanded to see me for child support money since we're still

legally married. Since my employer is aware of the situation, the receptionist refused to tell him if I was in the office or not. I was and they asked Richard to leave. Richard didn't leave and security was called. Since he was with his kid, security couldn't use force to remove Richard, so reception threatened to call the utility company that he works for. Richard didn't believe that the receptionist would do it, so long story short, him and

his mistress were fired immediately. Because Richard showing up at my work was seen as gross misconduct, and they discovered that Richard's mistress was his boss. Apparently his employer didn't know that they were together, and it's strictly forbidden to have a relationship with someone who's directly employed by you. The utility company apologized for Richard's actions, and gave a considerable discount for their services to make sure the news of what happened wouldn't spread. Since they were fired, I've been getting calls from unknown numbers, from Richard, his

mistress, their family, and friends, saying that I'm responsible for it, and I'm just a jealous butthole for getting them fired to get back at Richard. We still have some friends in common, and they believe that him getting fired and losing the only source of income they have is too harsh. And I should have prevented that, and I shouldn't have spoken in the beginning about what happened. Am I the butthole? Okay, hold on Opie. Based on this story, it sounds like you did literally nothing. All you did was set up the restraining order, but the restraining order wasn't even the thing that got them fired.

You were up in your office, presumably just typing away, not even aware of what was going on. Then it was the receptionist who called the office to call them out on their behavior. And the utility company decided that they were the ones who violated a company policy. By I guess coming to a client's office and causing a scene and also violating their internal dating policy, like I'm sure they said that the reason is because, oh, well, you guys can't date. But in reality, the real reason more than likely is because they're a business, they want to make money, and when they have one of their employees

come into a client's office and causes a scene, they could lose who knows how much money by losing that contract with that client. So, them being fired is completely a hundred percent justified. Also, them blaming UFORD is completely irrelevant. You had absolutely nothing to do with it. You were in the office the whole time. If anything, they should be mad at the receptionist or mad at, like, their own company policies that they willingly violated, I guess. Also, while reading this story, I kept thinking, why on earth does this guy want to be with his mistress, but he doesn't want to get a divorce?

And as I was reading, I was like trying to figure out all the reasons why and a-ha. He thinks that he can get you to give him money for the kid that he got by cheating on you. Okay, that's some real, that's some real impressive logic there, buddy. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm also even giving the reception to 0 out of 5 buttholes. If anything, the reception should be commended for having your back. I'm giving Richard 4 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my friend that she's a butthole? I'm a 32 year old woman, and my best childhood friend, who's 32, just became a lawyer and

then dumped her boyfriend. My best friend and I grew up in poverty. We didn't have many opportunities for an education. For young women in our area, our options were retail, drug dealing, prostitution, or hoping that a rich guy would notice us. For guys, it was retail, drug dealing, or finding one of the few factory jobs remaining. I got lucky and managed to date a med student. He helped open doors for me, and I've become a teacher in a school and a lower social economic area to provide those opportunities. My husband is now a doctor. He helped open doors for me, and I've become a teacher in a school in a lower socio-economic area to provide those opportunities.

My husband is now a doctor. My friend tried that option, but she wasn't as lucky. She was working minimum wage retail at age 25. While doing so, she got friendly with a factory worker, who's 30, who came by regularly and they started dating. He knew that he wasn't the academic type. School just wasn't for him, but he also saw potential in my friend

and encouraged her to go to school. She had dreams of becoming a criminal prosecutor and he encouraged her to not give up. He took out whatever loan he could find so that she could get an education. He supported her through and through, did the housework, worked extra shifts, did everything so that she could get an education.

My friend persevered, graduated, and became a lawyer. Shortly after, she broke up with her boyfriend just as he was planning to propose to her. She said that, as a professional, she had no interest being married to a working class man and that she deserves a real man. I was horrified and told her that she's betraying a man who supported her through all this and made her what she is. She got mad and said that it's not the woman's job to pay the bills and that I'm a hypocrite because my husband makes a lot more than me. She further said that the idea of marriage as a life partnership is a

patriarchal construct that she has the right to date whomever she wants and that as a feminist I should be supporting her. I told her that not only is she a major but-hole, but also she's giving feminists a bad name because feminism also means women financially supporting their male partners. Wait, I'm confused. How can- okay, okay. How can, how can this person say that on the one hand, marriage is a patriarchal construct, but on the other hand, women shouldn't have to pay any bills because that's the man's job. Like, which is it, lady? Are we respecting old-fashioned gender roles or not?

And what's even more ironic about this is now that she's at like a higher socio-economic level She thinks that she's a more valuable person, but she's shown through her actions that she's actually not a valuable person at all She's selfish, manipulative, and not grateful at all Even though her ex-boyfriend makes less money than she does now He's still a more valuable person than she is. Because fundamentally, what's more important in a partner? Having a big bank account or being loyal and supportive? OP, you're 100% right here. Your friend is a butthole.

I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your friend 3 out of 5 buttholes. I hope, I hope, I hope, that that at the bare minimum your friend paid back the loan that her ex-boyfriend gave her. If she doesn't, if she literally just took his money and ran, then we may have to knock this up to like a 4 or a 4.5 butthole score. Today's episode is sponsored by Sunbasket. Because of COVID, I literally haven't gone to the grocery store in like two years. Obviously because I don't want COVID to kill me, but also because I do voice work.

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Am I the blood hole for hiding embarrassing notes in my house as a joke? Because I know my fiance's mom snoops. I bought a house seven years ago, and I met my fiance, Al, four years ago. This year, he moved in. We're talking about making it a home for both of us. But as of now, he hasn't moved much stuff in. Right now, 95% of the stuff in furniture in the house is mine. When his mom comes over, she's kind of a snoop. My fiance's been used to that, but when she comes to our house, it's so uncomfortable because she just goes through my stuff. Whenever I get bothered by it, she's like,

I was just helping with chores. My fiance says that I should just let her because she has a lot of nervous energy. One thing she snooped on was actually embarrassing. In my home office, I had a little affirmation posted known on my monitor saying, I'm smart, I'm skilled, I'm deserving of great things. It was a silly thing that my therapist recommended to get me into a confident mindset before an interview. Anyway, she made a comment about my ego. But as a joke, I decided to do it again.

I had my best friend over, we got wine drunk, and we rode a bunch of affirmations to hide. For example, in my medicine cabinet I wrote, my teeth will regrow. I am shark-like and powerful in the kitchen drawers. I know when to spoon, but I also know when to fork. I am sexy and selfish in my work desk. I will not just passionately hug my way to the top of the company. I will passionately hug my way to the top of the world.

And in my walk-in closet, I will passionately hug my way to the top of the world. And in my walk-in closet, I am beautiful, with clothes, and without, especially without. My boobs are legendary. There were a bunch more, and my friend and I had a hilarious time writing them. Next time that my mother-in-law came over, she saw a few. And she didn't acknowledge them to me, even though she definitely started acting a little weird about me. I went to run some errands, and when I was out, she confronted Al about the notes and was trying to tell him that I seemed unstable, egotistical, and that moving in was a bad idea. She showed him the notes, and he didn't really know what to make of it.

He asked me, and I said they were just some silly private notes to boost myself confidence and make myself laugh. How had she found them? Had she been going through my things? He said she was just tidying and she saw them and they were really weird. I was like, have you met me? You should know how weird I am. Anyway, I don't want your mom seeing my weird stuff, so you've got to stop letting her go through my stuff. He asked me if I left them on purpose to annoy her. And I admitted that was kind of the joke, but I also have other weird or private stuff, so what I said about her needing to stop snooping if she didn't want to find weird stuff was still for real. He said that I was making stuff hard for him. His mom was really protective

and adjusting to him moving in with the girlfriend for the first time. And I was agitating her on purpose and making her think that I wouldn't be a good partner when he wanted her to have the opposite impression of me. Am I the butthole for the note prank? Okay, so why is it okay for you to agitate the mother-in-law and make the mother-in-law think that you're a worse person when it is okay for the mother-in-law and make the mother-in-law think that you're a worse person when it is okay for the mother-in-law to agitate you and make you think that she's a worse person. The answer? Double standards.

To put it simply OP, your mother-in-law and your fiancee need to stop snooping. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes because you completely did nothing wrong here. I'm giving your mother-in-law two out of five buttholes and I'm also giving your fiance two out of five buttholes. If my mother started snooping around my wife's stuff and like looking into her personal stuff I would absolutely lay down the law. Mom if you do that again you're never coming to my house again. It's really that simple. Also, this story isn't very funny, but I guess it's kind of cute. When I started my YouTube career, I went to a bunch of conferences because I was trying to learn as much as I could about the world of YouTube and network with other

YouTubers to learn from them. So I traveled pretty frequently. I'd go to California probably two or three times a year every year. And whenever I left, I would hide posted notes around the house to places where I knew that my wife would go. And there should be really simple stuff like, I miss you. I love you. Can't wait to get back home. So she would like go to, you know, make her cup of tea in the morning and she would open up the team-maker and inside the team-maker it'd be like, you're beautiful! It's cheesy and dumb but I've done something similar OP. Am I the butthole for telling my wife that she embarrassed everyone during our son's birthday dinner? For starters, I just want to say that we do have money and we don't need to save money. My wife, who's 42, is currently working as a part-time nurse.

I'm also 42, and I work in the local police department as a detective. We have two kids, our son, who's 12, and our daughter who's 13. My wife has started wanting to save money, and it's starting to annoy the kids. As an example, we're giving the kids $10 each week for allowance, but my wife decided that $10 was too much and lowered it to $3. I've told her that I think this allowance amount is too low, but she disagrees. Another example is that she'll buy meals to bring to a restaurant to be microwaved. We've gotten looks before, and it's always been turned down. It results in her making a fuss and we'll be asked to leave. I've told her that she needs to stop, and that when we go out, I'm fine with her ordering

whatever she wants. I normally pay for the groceries, the bills, and the food that we eat out. My wife helps with small payments and will buy our kids cheap clothing. My daughter does like to wear designer clothing, and I normally will buy her that clothing, and then hear about it from my wife. My son was turning 12 and he wanted to eat out at his favorite steakhouse. I did ask that my wife not bring any of her meals along to the restaurant. We arrived at the restaurant and sat down at the table. My wife gets up to use the bathroom and we order our drinks.

When the drinks arrive, we give the waiter our orders and my wife orders a small salad. The waiter comes back over with a meal and says, ma'am, we can't warm this up for you. I see my son and daughter both look embarrassed and I apologize to the waiter. My wife spent the rest of the dinner staying silent and she wouldn't touch the salad she ordered. When the evening was over and we got home, my wife and I began to argue about the evening. I told her that she was in the wrong for bringing a meal when I asked her not to. She started to argue back that eating out is a waste.

I then said, well, you embarrassed everyone, including our kids. She asked me to leave the bedroom, and I'm now staying in the guest bedroom. Am I the butthole for telling my wife that she embarrassed everyone during our son's birthday dinner? Okay, OP, so no, you're not the butthole for telling my wife that she embarrased everyone during our son's birthday dinner? Okay OP, so no you're not the butthole here, but I really feel like something else is going on here. I really hate to speculate in these posts because I don't want to form opinions based on information that I don't have. But like, this behavior is just weird. It doesn't really add up, it doesn't make sense, especially if you say that you guys don't struggle with money. And if you pay all the bills, I kind of have to wonder what is she spend her

money on? Because the fact that she's trying to save money so diligently implies to me that she's trying to save her money for something. So the question is, for what? Does anyone else think that this kind of sounds like the behavior of a burgeoning drug addict? Like someone who's just started to get into drugs and they want to save as much money as possible to spend on drugs, but they haven't like completely gone off the rails and they started stealing stuff yet. Or maybe this is like some mental issue? Like I don't know OP, but something feels really off here.

But judging the post just on the words that you wrote alone, all I can really say is, OP, you get zero out of five buttholes, your wife gets 1.5 out of five buttholes. OP, I think that it might be a good idea to put those detective skills of yours to work. My guess is that she's either cheating, she's doing drugs,

or she desperately needs a mental health professional. You know, actually now that I think about it, it does occur to me that she's a nurse during COVID, so maybe there's nothing malicious, maybe this is like a stress response because medical professionals are absolutely drowning and work right now. So that's kind of understandable. Look, I don't know what the problem is, OP, but something, something's fishy, please check it out. That was our slash in my The Butthole, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.