rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Getting My Racist Family Member Fired?

Episode Date: July 8, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole OP is an Asian man married to a woman who has an extremely toxic family. OP's father-in-law and sister-in-law basically hate him just because he's Asian. Coincidentally, both OP and his sister-in-law are professional chefs, and the sister-in-law mocks OP's cooking every chance she gets. Eventually, one of their conflicts goes public and gets posted on social media, leading to the sister-in-law getting fired and all of her friends calling her out on her racist behavior. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where we read the best posts from a cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash, am I the butthole where Opie confronts his racist in-loss? Am I the butthole for moving out when my step-sister ruined my father's day gift for my dad? I'm a 16-year-old girl who lives with my mom, step-dad, 18-year-old step-sister, and 20-year-old step-brother. I lost my dad to cancer when I was 13 years old. We were very close and his death was a major loss in my life. I wasn't able to keep much of my dad's belongings because of my step-dads and securities and lack of sympathy and respect for me and my dad.

I'm sad to say that my mom moved on relatively quickly. My step-sister and I share a room together, and as a result, me and my step sister are always in conflict. She wants me out of the room during the day because she uses the room as her art studio. She recently accused me of stealing her tools and convinced her dad to get a lock, so now I'm being forcefully locked out. And I wasn't able to get into my own room until after a huge argument and getting my mom involved.

My step sister got into an argument with her brother and ruined his gaming console when he was out. That evening, he quietly came into our room. He stood by the door and asked me to bring him my step sister's acrylic paint set. I asked him if he had permission to get that, and he said yes, so I gave it to him and went back to studying. At dinner, my step sister came downstairs, yelling that her brother had ruined her paint set. There was a lot of yelling and arguing. My step-dad asked how my step-brother got into the room when it was supposed to be locked.

My step-brother admitted that I helped him out and brought the paint set to him. My step-sister went off on me, called me an accomplice, and then ran upstairs and took the gift that I prepared for my real dad for Father's Day. I had picked some flowers that I planted from our small garden that I take care of by myself. I had prepared a wooden pot, shaped like my dad's first initial, and filled it with the flowers that I picked. I decorated it with ribbons. I had planned to visit my father's grave and leave the gift there. But my step-sister completely destroyed the gift.

It was completely ruined. I yelled at her and just kept crying. My mom and stepdad gave her a harsh punishment, and they said the gift was It was completely ruined. I yelled at her and just kept crying. My mom and stepdad gave her a harsh punishment and they said the gift was fixable. But I was so done by that point that I called up my uncle who came by and berated my mom and stepdad. My stepdad offered to fix the gift and punished my step sister even harder. But I just packed my things and went to live with my uncle. My mom begged me to stay, but I refused, and I didn't respond when she kept calling, saying that she did nothing to deserve being shunned by me and my uncle who told the family about what happened.

The family told my mom not to come visit on Father's Day, and they were angry with her because I moved out over this. Am I the butthole? Okay, OP, you're a minor, so I want to handle this delicately. I think that what you did was completely justifiable. Clearly you're still deeply wounded about losing your father, and I don't blame you, I think most people in that situation would be as well. The way that you handled yourself in this story is completely justifiable. You did nothing wrong when you gave the brother the paint and you did nothing wrong by moving out. In fact, I think that you made a healthy choice to move out of that household.

Okay, so now we're gonna move on to the rest of that household and every single one of them deserves a butthole score. I think your step-brother was completely justified in getting revenge against his sister. However, why do you have to rat you out? He's a 20-year-old man, a grown adult, and he's trying to ship the blame to you, a 16 year old girl. Come on man, grow up, snitches get stitches, they also get two out of five buttholes. Now onto your step sister. So there's mean, and then there's just plain heartless. What your step sister did was heartless. Not only did she wait over react because all you did was open the door for

your step-brother, but she destroyed the gift meant for your dead father, that is completely cruel. I'm giving your step-sister four out of five buttholes. But if you ask me, what your step-sister did wasn't nearly as bad as what your step-father did. You had to throw away your dead father's belongings because your stepdad was insecure. Oh my god, what a pussy! I don't like to use that word as an insult, but for real, that guy's a complete and total pussy. Listen, sweetie, I'm sorry that your dad is dead, but I don't want you to have any of his momentos around the house because they make me insecure.

Honestly, it's just pathetic behavior. Pathetic. because they make me insecure. Honestly, it's just pathetic behavior, pathetic. You're gonna destroy a 13 year old girl's cherished memento's ever-dead father because you're insecure. God, I can't get over how just lame, pathetic, just how much of a pussy this guy is. I'm giving you your stepdad 4.5 out of five buttholes.

Then we go on to your mom. Your mom didn't do much in this story, except that she did allow your stepdad to do what I just discussed. Your mother has a sacred responsibility to honor the connection between you and your dead father. Now, I'm not saying that she has to like swear off men for the rest of her life and die a widow, but she is responsible for making sure that whoever she marries next treats you with respect, and clearly he's not doing that. So I've got a daughter.

If my wife died, and then my daughter had some possessions that she used to remember my wife, her mother. And then like sometime after my wife died, I got a new girlfriend, and the girlfriend wanted to throw away my daughter's possessions that reminded her of her dead mother. Then no, I don't think so. That is instant deal breaker material. I would never allow my girlfriend to throw away my daughter's family heirlooms. So for that, I'm also giving your mother 4.5 out of 5 buttholes. Honestly, OP, your family sounds really toxic, and I strongly encourage you to stick with your

uncle. Am I the butthole for shaming my mother-in-law in front of the whole family for spreading lies about me? My husband and I do not want kids. He had gotten a vasectomy even before I dated him, and I wanted to be child-free, so we both knew that it was never going to happen. My mother-in-law doesn't know that her son got a vasectomy, and she believes that it's me who's not giving her grandchildren, so she hates me. When I got married, she wrote this long letter about how she can't wait for us to be parents and she read it out loud during our reception.

She would cry on the phone with my sister-in-law about how I'm the worst thing that's ever happened to her. She would make racist Facebook posts about me because I'm Asian and my husband is white. There have been times that she would introduce my husband to different women when he's already married to me and would tell him that he deserves better. Three days ago I was at a family gathering. I usually don't attend family gatherings because of my mother-in-law, but it had been a long time since I'd seen his family. When I was talking to my husband's aunt, my aunt casually said, I'm sorry that you can't experience motherhood, how does your husband feel about it?

I asked her what she was talking about, and she told me that my mother-in-law has been going around telling everyone in the family group chat that I'm infertile. I honestly lost my mind. I went up to my mother-in-law and asked her about it. She told me that she didn't want to tell everyone that my husband is less of a man because he got a bisectomy done. So she thought that it was better to tell everyone that I was infertile. I started to scream at her. Everyone in the room started telling me that I should be ashamed because I'm infertile. They thought that I was shifting the blame to my husband when I was the infertile one.

So I revealed the truth that I was not infertile. I told everyone about how my mother-in-law was spreading lies because she didn't want her son to be less of a man. I told everyone about her introducing my husband to different women because she wanted to replace me and his openly racist towards me. My brother-in-law called me down because I was bawling my eyes out and he called my husband asking him to come home. My husband came home and his mother was crying and telling him that I ruined her reputation. She said that I was trying to make him hate her. My husband took my side. My husband told her that this was the last time that he was stepping foot in that house and he was going to cut ties with her. We left the house. My husband thinks that I did the right thing

by standing up for myself. I've been getting text messages from his relatives about how I broke a mother and son's relationship. My mother-in-law is making posts about me on Facebook. I know that I could have handled it better, but am I the butthole? Alright OP, so apparently it's okay for her to ruin your reputation, but it's not okay for you to ruin her reputation? No, doesn't work that way. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes.

She gets 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole when my classmate saved a goldfish by releasing them to the ocean, and I called my classmate a moron? My classmate recently made a tiktok, and she showed it to a group of people at lunchtime. She was next to my table, so I overheard her say say, hey look at this tiktok I made, come check it out." And she explained how she rescued a goldfish from the pet store and released them into the ocean so they can live free. I was horrified upon hearing this. I love fish and I have several aquariums so I'm fairly knowledgeable about them. I walk over

and ask her to show me the video and I face-pombed. When she asked me why I said, you realize that you're actually a moron, right? This is one of the dumbest things that I've ever seen. Her friend says, well, that's just rude. Why would you say that? Because she cares. At which point I had to explain that goldfish are freshwater fish. They can't survive in the ocean because it's saltwater, so all those goldfish were dead in minutes. They basically choked to death as salt filled up their gills. Lastly, you never release animals into the wild. There are goldfish that are destroying our rivers and lakes because of morons like

her. They said that I'm a bully and walked away. I later got called up to the principal's office who told me that I was expected to apologize, and I said no. I stand by what I said. Screw ignorant people who destroy the environment. My parents were called in and I got sent home and my parents are pissed that I refused to apologize. I might even get suspended. Opie, you got sent home and you might get suspended because you called someone an idiot for killing goldfish. But she wasn't idiots. Like sure, what you said was a little bit mean and you probably could have handled it more

tactfully, but just because she has good intentions doesn't mean that what she did was the right thing. Opie, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 but just to be clear, I definitely think that you could have handled that better. That was a teachable moment, but instead you decided to insult them, so instead of them learning, they're just gonna walk away hurt and angry. Still, I'm giving your classmate one out of five buttholes, because at the end of the day, she basically just killed a bunch of fish for TikTok likes. Am I the butthole for calling my sister-in-law racist after she compared my cooking to making Kung Pao chicken? For context, I've been married

to my wife for 10 years and we're a mixed- sister, but I always felt like her father and her other sister, Sarah, never liked me. I'm a professionally trained chef with 15 years of experience and I work at a high in Chinese restaurant in a large US city. My crew and I have won several awards and I've been explicitly told that I'll be the next executive chef. I've been a professional chef and I've been a professional chef and I've been a professional chef and I've been a professional chef and I've been married to my wife for 10 in Chinese restaurant in a large US city. My crew and I have won several awards and I've been explicitly told that I'll be the next executive chef. Sarah is also a professionally trained chef and works at a popular upscale for interest around in the city. She constantly brags about it and no jokes, she compares herself to Gordon Ramsay and

Anthony Bourdain. Whenever I'm hanging out with my wife's family and helping in the kitchen, Sarah is always criticizing everything I do. Whether it's chopping, braising, marinating, etc. She always butts in with comments like, Um, I think you should actually do it like this. I've been patient for my wife's sake and I've side-step those comments saying things like, thanks, but I think I'll stick to the way that I do it.

Things came to a head two weeks ago when my wife, father-in-law, mother-in-law, and I were in her parents' kitchen preparing dinner for my mother-in-law's birthday. We were running a bit behind, so things were heated, and that's when Sarah walked in. She took one look at what I was doing, scoffed, and said something like, oh wow, okay, so that's not the right way of doing things. She hit a nerve, and I pretty sternly told her to stop criticizing my cooking, and that I'm also a chef like her. She laughed and said, making kung-pang chicken at some Chinese restaurant doesn't count.

The kitchen went silent. My father-in-law kind of chuckled, and my motherin-law said, "'Sara, what is wrong with you?' I stopped what I was doing, swart her, and call to her a racist piece of garbage. I apologize to my mother-in-law for not being able to stay, and I left her home with my wife. Apparently, this caused a massive fight after we left, with my mother-in-law, brother-in-law, and other sister-in-law taking my side, and my father-in-law and Sarah saying, "'It was a joke, but kind of true. And that I was being too sensitive. The extended family somehow got winded this,

and now everyone is arguing and taking sides. And my wife is even getting text from some of her cousins apologizing for Sarah's behavior. Despite being on my side, my wife is begging me to apologize so the fighting will stop. But I refuse to, because F Sarah enter blatant racism. Am I the butthole? And then OP posted an update. My wife has also informed me that Sarah may be in trouble at work and she's blaming me for it. Apparently, one of her co-workers heard her rant about what happened and reported her

to management. Then OP post another update. So it looks like one of my wife's cousins found this post and put it on Sarah's Facebook wall saying, this is you, right? Her Facebook friends are starting to comment with things like, if this is really you Sarah, then I'm disappointed. I think that Sarah hasn't seen it yet because she's still at work. The things might be hitting the fan soon, and now my wife is pissed off too. I was considering removing this post, but I just got a voicemail from my father-in-law who said,

Your presence has only been tolerated up until this point, and you'll be in for a world of hurt if you don't delete that post. So I'm officially going to keep this post up, and if you're still reading this, Doug, I'm very disappointed in you. You're better than this. And then OP posted another update. My wife just got a phone call from Sarah. Sarah started screaming and crying at her the moment that my wife picked up. She said, I just got demoted because of your blank husband.

Except replace the word blank with an Asian slur. Apparently some of our co-workers are friends with her on Facebook and they showed the post to management, which combined with her earlier rant, double waymeat her back to being a line cook, and now she might get fired. My wife told her to go F herself, and she's now solidly on my side after taking the verbal abuse from Sarah and reading some of the comments here. My wife is still the opposite of happy though. My wife called her mother and asked her what the hell is going on with her father.

My mother-in-law was confused, so my wife played back the voicemail that I had on my phone. And apparently my mother-in-law literally just walked away from the phone without hanging up and started screaming at her husband. The Facebook post has now devolved into an absolute flame war with family and friends jumping in. Suffice to say, things have officially gone nuclear. Okay everyone, I don't ask for this very often but I really need you to do me a favor. I really went OPs' father-in-law to come across this video.

So if you could hit the like button, if you could hit the subscribe button, if you could make a comment down below, all those things will make it more likely that OP and OP's father-in-law will see this video. Because if that racist douchebag got so pissed off from a Reddit post, just imagine what he's gonna feel like when he sees this YouTube video. Alright OP, I think I might be beating a dead horse here because it sounds like Sarah's co-workers, Sarah's family, all of our friends on Facebook and everyone down in the comments is pretty much already said it before.

But obviously you are not the butthole OP. You didn't do anything wrong, you just called out a racist for being a racist. Sarah on the other hand gets 4 out of 5 buttholes. Being racist to a family member is disgusting and Asian hate is already bad enough in America as it is. Honestly, Sarah deserves to get demoted, and I hope she gets fired. Also, Doug, Sarah, if you're watching this video, go fuck yourselves, you racist pieces of shit! That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

shit. That was our slash in my the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put on your Reddit podcast episodes every single day.