rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Getting My Thieving Uncle Arrested?

Episode Date: March 28, 2022

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Welcome to R-Slash, am I the butthole where OP gets her own Uncle arrested? I'm a 25 year old woman, and am I the butthole for having my 56 year old Uncle arrested? So, I moved into the apartment that I own back in 2020. I keep to a very minimalistic lifestyle, so I don't actually own very much at all, but what I do own, I like it to be a good investment for the long run. I ran into a plumbing issue that was not easy to fix, at least not for me who knows nothing about plumbing. I called my uncle asking if he could help. He came over with my aunt to take a look at what was going on, and I do

not like my aunt. There are quite a few reasons why. She took my grandmother's ring, despite it being willed to me. She pushes people around to get what she wants. She uses her mother's death as an excuse, always leaving out the fact that she and her father were exceptionally cruel to their mother. My uncle used to be a really great guy until she came along. Now he bends to her every whim. I digress. She comes into my apartment and complains that it looks like I'm dirt poor. That I have minimal furnishings and that it looks

uptight. I tell her that I would rather make memories than just buy stuff and leave it around. Then she notices my silver box where I keep my sterling flatware in. Now, maybe this is just me, but I spent a good year or so saving money to buy nice flatware. My reasoning was that it would grow in value. I could pass it along to my children, and it will, or can last a long time. She keeps asking me what's inside of it, and I brush her off. She keeps asking on and on, and I break saying that it's flatware. She then asked me how many play settings and I say that I can't remember. She goes on to say that she has this small dinner party planned and she asks if she can borrow it and I say no. She pouts the rest of the time. They leave with my uncle saying

that he needs a few tools in a specific part to fix my plumbing and he'll come back later. I thank him and say bye. We arranged for about a week later for him to come back with a key that I left in my lock box since I'd be working. I come home, look around, and of course my silver box is missing and I know exactly who has it. I called the police, give them all the information, and show them photos I took for insurance. Long story short, my Silverware box was in their dining room when the cop showed up, and my uncle was arrested for theft. My aunt keeps calling me screeching at me that I'm horrible for this, and I'm going to help for giving him a criminal record.

I say she should have thought about that before she made my uncle do that because she can't take no for an answer. The Silver itself is in a rare pattern and it's not easily replaceable. She threw my comment back in my face, saying, I thought you wanted memories, it's just stuff! And I hung up on her. Here's where I think that I'm the butthole. My uncle only did it because of my aunt in my opinion, so I'm effectively punishing someone who wouldn't have done it without the influence. Then I get mad all over again and think what a breach of trust this is and I feel fine. Am I the butthole?

Are you the butthole for pressing charges against someone who literally stole from you? No. If I were you OP I would say, I would happily drop the charges if you just give me back my grandmother's ring that you stole. Am I the butthole for telling my brother-in-law that it's cringe to continue saying that he's child-free whenever I ask him to watch my son? My wife and I, who are both 27, have a four-year-old son. We've been having an incredibly busy work schedule of the last two years, and family's

been doing a great job helping out with our son. We usually have my in-laws take our son whenever we have a work trip or a shift coming up. My wife's family has been super helpful. My mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, my father-in-law, except my brother-in-law, my wife's brother. He's 31, and he's made it clear that he's just not interested in spending time with his nephew. He keeps saying that the reason for that is that he's actually child free. For so many emergencies, he's turned me and my wife away when we begged him to watch our son, and he didn't even budge or apologize for his attitude.

It all came to a head a couple of days ago. I had a work meeting while my wife was out of town, and my in-laws were attending a wedding, so no one was free to watch my son except for my brother-in-law. I showed up to his place and told him I was desperate for help and I needed him to just watch my son for two hours. He refused and even suggested I take him to work with me, but that's just not an option. I begged him and he just said no. At this point I had enough and I confronted him and asked why. Does he not like his nephew or something? Any threw back? No, it's just that I'm child free, which made me lose it. I told him to just stop because it's cringe

of him to keep saying that and to use that as an excuse to be unsupportive of me and his sister and coals towards his nephew. I told him he should really do better and stop being so negative. But he got mad and said that I had no right to disrespect his life-silent choices, but it's the attitude that gets me. We had an exchange of words where he said that my son isn't his responsibility whatsoever, and I left. He complained to my in-laws and they called me out for disrespecting their son and treating him like that. They insisted that he's not responsible for my son, and I shouldn't expect so much from him and then guilt him about it. They wanted me to apologize, and my wife said that I should, but he was

about as helpful and supportive as a rock. So I decided I'll take my time before I consider apologizing. Am I the butthole? Yes, OP. How entitled can you possibly be? This is your child, not your brother-in-law's child. So why are you trying to act like it's his responsibility? Basically what's happening here is you made a lifestyle choice, which is to have a kid,

and you're freely imposing that lifestyle choice on other people, your mother-in-law, your father-in-law, and your sister-in-law. But oh, when your brother-in-law makes his lifestyle choice, and his lifestyle choice imposes on you, then suddenly that's a huge problem. Like how do you not see the hypocrisy here? You expect other people to cater to your choices, but you refuse to cater to his choices. And like fundamentally, it's just not his responsibility. It's not his problem. If you want someone to watch your kid, get a babysitter.

Your brother-in-law gets zero out of five buttles. You get 2.5 out of five buttles. I can't believe that you actually showed up at the guys house with your kid in tow expecting to just guilt trip him into taking your kid. It's like that phrase, your bad planning isn't my emergency. Am I the butthole for refusing to give my boyfriend my pen number after he took my credit card without my consent? I'm a 24-year-old woman and I've been seeing my boyfriend, Martin, who's 30 for 8 months. He's super funny and sweet. He's currently out of a job for health reasons, but he's actively looking for a new job.

This is our first major fight, and I'm not sure whether I was at fault here. Two days ago, we spent the night together, and he went to the store early in the morning to buy some groceries. Unbeknownst to me, he took my credit card to shop with. I got woken up by him calling me to give him my credit card pen number. I was confused and asked why, and he said that he went grocery shopping with my card, and forgot to ask me to give him the pen number before he left. I got mad and felt quite violated. I told him I was sorry, but I never gave him permission to go shopping with my card. He sounded confused and said that he was just trying to buy a breakfast and it only cost

20 bucks. I said I was sorry, but I refused to give him the pen number. He obviously sounded upset and asked why. I told him because he didn't consider getting my permission to take my card and use it. He said, all right then, guess no breakfast for us and hung up. I called and called, but got no response. He returned and handed me back my card and then went on to complain about how he was just trying to buy his breakfast and that he wasn't intending to make some huge purchase. I said I understand that, but

it's all about consent to me. He seemed pretty irritated and upset, though he said that it was fine. He left after this, and he hasn't returned my calls. He then texted me that he didn't intend on stealing from me, and he thought that I wouldn't make such a big fuss about it, and that he did try to get my permission when he called to ask for my pin number. But I feel like he just violated my boundaries. He's been upset since then, saying that I ruined our time together by making a huge deal out of embarrassing him at this store by making him return the stuff that he bought at the

register. Gosh, I feel like such a butthole here, but on the other hand, I think that he could have asked first. I want to hear what you guys think of this, am I the butthole or not? I mean, this story is pretty straightforward, OP. He literally stole your card. When you take someone's property without permission, that's theft, plain and simple. So I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I felt like your response was very normal. I'm giving him 2 out of 5 buttholes. Today's episode is sponsored by Coinbase. My second biggest

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slash rslashpodcast. Sign up at coinbase.com slash rslashpodcast for $10 in free Bitcoin. This offers for a limited time only, so be sure to sign up today. That's coinbase.com slash rslashpodcast. Am I the butthole for calling my friend an idiot for winning a maternity test? Am I the butthole for calling my friend an idiot for wanting a maternity test? Maternity test. Okay. I'm guessing that's a typo, I think OPMUS mean paternity test. My friend, Dan, recently found out that he might be a father. I say it might be because the girl he's been having an off on relationship with, Kara is pregnant, and he's not sure if he's the dad. She offered to get a paternity test once the baby is born, and he's not sure if he's the dad. She offered to get a

paternity test once the baby is born, and doesn't expect any kind of support until they find out if the baby is his. He's on board with that, and he appreciates that she's not pushing him into fatherhood if the baby isn't his. The issue is that when he was talking to me about it, he also said that he wants to get a maternity test done to make sure the baby is hers. Wait, what? Kara is visibly pregnant. We know that she's pregnant because she did a maternity photo shoot and posted it on social media, so it's obvious that she's not baking being pregnant.

We've both seen her in person too, and she is most definitely pregnant. However, Dan believes the baby might not be hers. I tried to explain to him that that's on how biology works, and unless she got an embryo implanted into her, then she's definitely the mother. She's a waitress who works for minimum wage plus tips, so I doubt she has the money to afford an embryo implantation. Plus, it's ridiculous to think that she do all that just a baby trap a guy who's unemployed and living with his parents at the age of 32. Plus, he's never donated sperm.

He's genuinely convinced that the baby might not biologically be hers despite not only me, his mom, and our other friends explaining that that's on how babies or pregnancies work. He's still insisting on a maternity test, and told me that I was being ridiculous, and that I'm the one who doesn't understand biology, despite me studying to be an autopsy pathologist, which has required quite literally years of biology classes. I got fed up and called him a census idiot and I told him to call me when he got his head screwed back on straight. Ever since then he's been spamming my phone and has gotten a couple of our friends to spam me as well, telling me that I'm being insensitive and he's just stressed out about possibly being a dad. So am I the butthole for calling my friend

an idiot? Okay OP, even though obviously you're correct and he's wrong here, I will admit that you're kind of being unnecessarily mean to your friend when he is going through a rough time. So maybe this is not the ideal time to worry about like who's scientifically correct and you should be more worried about you know being a supporting friend, being a supportive friend during this like time of crisis. So I guess I could actually see giving you like a 0.5 out of 5 but holes, but oh my god, I am worried about the future of this child. 32 unemployed living with his parents and doesn't understand basic biology. How could the baby not be hers?

Does this do think that just people will like break into a woman's house at night and shove it embryo up inside of a woman that doesn't belong to them and the woman just wakes up pregnant. Don't you hate that, ladies? You know, you go to sleep after a long day at work and then you wake up the next morning to find out that you're five months pregnant because some crazy guy snuck in and and implanted an embryo inside of you. Down in the comments, I'm going to read this post from Major Barnacle. Tell him that to help with his stress, you found a free maternity test. Just stay in the delivery room and see if a baby shoots out of a hoo-ha. Not the butthole. I hope the baby inherits the mom's intelligence. Opie, I think my final rating is 0.5 out of 5 buttholes for you because even though you

are correct, I think it's probably more important this is in this scenario to be supportive rather than scientifically correct. Your friend, however, gets 1 out of 5 buttholes because spamming your phone over such a stupid thing is kind of crossing the line. Am I the butthole for not waking my boyfriend, which made him late to his first day at a new job? I'm a 28 year old woman, and I've lived with my boyfriend, who's 30 for three years now. When I first stayed the night and he overslept, I woke him up. He woke up in a bad mood, and after a big fight, he made it absolutely clear that I should not wake him up, even

if I knew that he would be late to a meeting with the Pope, which are his exact words. After I calmed down, I wrote a contract that said that I would never wake him up under any circumstance, sort of an emergency, as long as he never blames me for oversleeping. He laughed and signed it. I kept it with my important documents. After all, I'm the daughter of two lawyers, so I get everything in writing. And you don't ever sign anything unless both you and your lawyer read it. Fast forward to yesterday. He just landed a new job, and he celebrated the night before by playing with some guys online. He had to

wake up by 7 a.m. I woke up at 7am like usual, did all my stuff, and by the time that it was 7am, he didn't wake up. I left the house at 8.15am and he was still asleep. When I got back home, he was still there, and he was very angry. He started shouting and blamed me for being late, and he said that I should have woken him when I noticed that he overslept. All I did was stay silent until he stopped shouting and then showed him the paper that he signed. Then I said, I never woke you up and I never will. You're an adult and you can set an alarm like the rest of us. Also, you being late is a you problem and I have have no pardon in it all. Now, he says

that I'm the butthole, and I should know that the old rules don't apply since he no longer works for his friend who is lax with time. I still think that I did nothing wrong. So, am I the butthole? Opie, I just gotta take a moment to appreciate the fact that he's stored this document along with all of your important documents. Because it's true, it is a very important document. Anyone who's ever been in a long-term relationship knows that if you ever get your hands on a document that can prove your partner wrong in the future, then that is automatically the most important document you own.

Even more than your birth certificate and your Social Security card and your driver's license, that is document Numero Uno. Because one day you can pull it out and be like, yes sweetie, well I understand what you're saying, but take a look at this, this signed data document that says you're wrong. It's very rare that moments come up like that in long-term relationships, but when they do, it's better than sex. But onto the evaluation OP, you're the guy's girlfriend, not his mother. He's 30! If he wants to wake up at a certain time, he can set an alarm.

OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your boyfriend gets 2 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. That was our slash am I the butthole, and if you liked this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.