rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Giving Beer to Another Family's 3-Year-Old?

Episode Date: August 30, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP is an absolute moron who doesn't seem to understand that maybe its a bad idea to give alcohol to another family's 3-year-old child! Giving alcohol to a child is bad enough -- you know, because it's illegal and unethical. But giving alcohol to someone else's kid is even worse! How stupid do you have to be to feed alcohol to a literal three-year-old, and then post on the Internet like, "Did I do something wrong? 🤔" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-slash, a podcast where I read the best post from a cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is R-slash Amide the Butthole, where OP gives alcohol to a 3-year-old. Am I the Butthole for giving a 3-year-old beer? What? OP, I don't even need to read the rest of this post. The answer is yes, yeah you're the Butthole, but we'll go ahead and read it anyway because why not? Yeah, it sounds bad, but really, it was an innocent thing. I was at a cookout with my wife's family, and I just opened up a cold one.

My wife's three-year-old niece asked me what I was drinking, and I told her it was a beer. She asked to taste it, so I poured her like a tenth of a sip into a plastic cup, thinking that it would be too bitter for her. But well, she liked it. She wanted more, and I told her that it was a grown-up drink, but it was too late. She ran around demanding to drink more beer for the entire cook-out, and she wouldn't need anything, she just demanded beer, and they had to put her in a timeout. Anyway, my in-laws are mad at me now, and my wife is not happy,

so am I the butthole? Okay OP, oh my God. Look, you're the butthole just on the title alone. But when I read the title, I assumed it was your three-year-old. I thought the way the story was gonna go was, you gave your beer to your three-year-old and then your wife found out and your wife got upset. But no, it's not even your kid. And you're giving your kid a controlled substance

which it's literally illegal for a three-year-old to have. So yeah, OP, please don't give alcohol to toddlers. Why do I even have to say this sentence? Don't give alcohol to toddlers. Come on, OP. OP, I'm giving you 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Honestly, my God, you should really know better than this. Am I the butthole for pointing out that my aunt has a favorite kid at a family dinner?

My aunt Mara, who's 45, has 2 kids. Reese, a 13 year old girl, and Lauren, a 9 year old girl. Aunt Mara has always clearly preferred Lauren. Reese always knew it too. My aunt always makes sure that Lauren can do the extracurricular activities that she wants to do. She lets Lauren drop out at anyracurricular activities that she wants to do. She lets Lauren drop out at any time, even if she's paid in advance. She gives Lauren the birthday that she wants every year, and in general, she's more affectionate

and just interested in what Lauren is up to. With Reese, she pushed her into dance when she was five years old and made her do dance for four years. Reese never liked dance and she never seemed to fit in and Aunt Mora hated it. She would ask Reese why she couldn't put in more effort and say that she always wanted a daughter who did dance. I'm an 18 year old girl and I was around them a lot because Aunt Mora used to babysit me for my parents.

I once asked Aunt Mora why Reese couldn't do something she wanted to do and she told me they didn't have money for it. Reese never got to do that thing, but Lauren got to do it several times. Lauren has soccer, dance, art, and swim class right now. Lauren's also done basketball, photography, guitar, piano, drums, singing, and gymnastics, which really upset Reese because Reese has always wanted to do gymnastics. Aunt Mara also discards Rees' plans and makes her cancel to look after her sister or if they conflict with Lauren's plans.

In the last year and a half, Rees has basically just decided to say f*** everyone. She is definitely weighed down by it all. Rees and I talk about it because she says that I'm the only one who's acknowledged it. So we were all gathered for a family dinner on Sunday and Reese was in a really bad mood. Aunt Mara told her she was bringing down the mood and Reese got up and left the table. Aunt Mara said that she didn't know what was up with Reese, but she's always acting like the whole world is out to get her. I mentioned that maybe if she didn't show such blatant favoritism, then Reese would be happier.

My aunt and parents were pissed that I would bring it up, and my grandparents asked what I meant. Aunt Morris said that I didn't know what I was talking about, and that Reese is such a drama queen. I told my grandparents what I meant, and they were shocked. Aunt Morris said Reese never wanted to do anything, but then grandma remembered how often Reese would ask about gymnastics. My parents told me that it wasn't the correct time or place to bring it up, and that I

am bare a stomp Mora. Am I the butthole? Alright, so let's get one thing out of the way first. Saying that it's not the right time or place to bring it up is complete BS. Because essentially Aunt Mora is emotionally abusing Lauren, so when is a good time to bring it up? Tuesday? During breakfast? Like, there's no good time to bring it up, except now, the sooner the better. Also, how is it supposed to be your fault that you were in the moment? If someone's abusing a kid, and you call them out for abusing

a kid, then it's the child abuser's fault for running the moment. Not yours. OP, honestly this is cut and dry. You are completely not the butthole here. If anything, you deserve praise for standing up for Reese when no one else will. I'm giving you a rock solid 0 out of 5 buttholes. Reese also gets 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your on gets 3.5 out of 5 buttholes, and your parents get 3 out of 5 buttholes. Your on gets 3.5 out of 5 buttholes and your parents get 3 out of 5 buttholes. Honestly OP, it sounds like Aunt Mora is more embarrassed by how she looks to others than the fact that she's not being a good parent, which is classic narcissistic behavior. OP, I recommend that you show Reese's subreddit R-slash raised by narcissists, because

I think she'll find kindred people there. Am I the butthole for leaving a family gathering because my family made me sit at the kids' table? For context, I haven't seen my full family together in quite some time. So they set up a get together at a park today. The family gathering includes me, a 22 year old male, my brother who's 21, my sister who's 25, her husband who's 29 and there are two kids.

My dad, stepmom, and her kids who are 6 and 9. My aunt, uncle, my two cousins who are 15 and 20 and my grandma and grandpa. I get there with some picnic items. I brought a kees in the cups, and I see a few family members setting up. I say hi and help set up the tables and set the food out. We talk and play games while the others show up. When everyone gets there, we sit down to eat. I sit next to my dad, and I get a weird look from my aunt because she says, this is the adult's table. To which I reply, I am an adult. She tells me that the first and second generations are considered adults, and the third and fourth

generation should sit at the kids' tables since you don't have much chicken-trapy to adult conversations. I tell her that I can drink, that I drove here, that I pay rent and have a job, so how am I still considered a child? She said that, until I have kids of my own, I'll have to sit at the kids table. According to my aunt, there are 8 kids between the ages of 8 to 22, and 8 adults between the ages of 25 to 75. So I should just sit at the kids table since it'll be even. But there's plenty of space at the adults table and I don't want to be stuck with five

literal children. She still disagrees, and at this point my uncle and grandparents back her up. So I just say screw it, take my keysh back, tell them to have a nice day, and drive off. I could a few texts from my dad and grandparents telling me to come back. I ask if my aunt is going to apologize and they say, for what? That was enough for me to disregard their other messages and calls until I got home, where I am now. I feel sucky that I may have possibly ruined an ice family gathering, but I feel like my family doesn't respect me at all. They think that I'm still a child, and apparently that I have the same mentality as six year olds, so am I the butthole?

Opie, I don't blame you. If I were in your shoes, I probably would have left too. Or even better, just refuse to leave. And then spend the entire meal talking about Minecraft and Roblox. Down in the comments, I think Miskimoon got to the heart of the issue. Not the butthole. They just wanted you to play babysitter. Yeah, I think that's probably what's going on here. It's not that they did or didn't want heart of the issue. Not the butthole. They just wanted you to play babysitter.

Yeah, I think that's probably what's going on here. It's not that they did or didn't want you at the table. They just wanted to create this arbitrary role so that you would have to watch the kid so that they could have an adult conversation with everyone else. Anyways, OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your aunt and your grandparents 1.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for refusing to eat my colleagues vegan birthday cake? I'm a 29 year old woman working in an office, and I have a colleague,

Bee, who routinely makes fun of vegans. I am a vegan, and I never make a fuss about food. I go to the same restaurants as my co-workers during lunch hour, and I can always find myself something to eat without announcing my dietary choices. Bee keeps calling me out about it though, and she's very condescending about it. She keeps saying that I'm just having a phase, and she keeps offering me bites of her lunch to contain cheese and meat. And when I refuse she just goes, oh come on, it's vegan, I promise, wink wink. It's very childish and annoying,

and even other people have asked her to tone it down, but she insisted she's just joking. Last week, she brought a homemade cake to her office for her birthday, and when she put a slice down in front of me, I politely thanked her, but said that I can't eat that. She said the cake is vegan, and she made it specifically so I could eat it, but knowing her very loose definition of vegan,

I asked a few questions about the ingredients and she didn't check any of them for milk or eggs. So I think to her again, but I refused the slice. She made a big scene out of it. She started crying, saying how she just went in to do something nice for me and how I ruined her birthday. Some colleagues told me not to mind her dramatics, but my boss told me that it was her birthday,

so I could have given her cooking the benefit of the doubts. I sort of see his point, but I also feel like I don't need to justify my food choices to anyone, and I never asked her to make the cake vegan for me. Am I the butthole? Okay, OP, so let's go, let's do the obvious thing first. I am very, very confident that that cake was completely not vegan. Be clearly doesn't respect your boundaries, she doesn't respect your choices, so I think that she intentionally made a non-vegan cake, just so she could trick you into eating it,

so then later when she's like, did you like the cake, and you being polite, because of course you'd be polite, you would say, yeah, it was good, and then she could be like, did you like the cake? And you being polite because of course you'd be polite, you would say, yeah, it was good. And then she could be like, ah, ha, I knew that you weren't a vegan. It contains, you know, milk or eggs or whatever. And so like if we just put aside the fact that she's very obviously lying about the cake, why is she so wrapped up in what you eat?

She made a cake and she's crying because you didn't eat a slice of it. What? Why is she so obsessed with what you eat? Why does she care so much? Opie, your coworker is weird and toxic and deserves two out of five buttholes. Also, I'm like 99% sure that what B is doing to you constitutes harassment or bullying or something, so you can definitely go to HR and report it, because it needs to stop. Opie, you have a right to eat whatever you want to eat without her constantly breathing

down your neck about milk and eggs or whatever. So if I were you OP, stop posting on Reddit and start making reports to HR. OP, I'm giving you a solid 0 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for not taking my older brother's kids to Disneyland with me? My brother and I have had a strained relationship our whole lives. I'm a 33 year old woman and he's 38. We both come from a really abusive home. Our mom was amazing, but we were all horribly abused by our dad and our mom couldn't or wouldn't leave. When I turned 17, I moved out of state and I

had very little contact with anyone outside of my mom. My mom ended up being diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer and fought really hard for eight years. I would fly in to visit her every few months as I could. I ended up getting married to a really horrible and abusive man. He ended up having a heart attack and had to have a quadruple bypass. He was horrible to care for and just

got more and more cruel. Three months after my husband's heart attack, my mom's health turned for the worst and she passed away. Our dad was horrible to us, going as far as to try to sue us for some of the money that our mom left us. After the funeral, my husband got more and more abusive and I took the money my mom left me and filed for divorce. I really needed some me time, so I decided to go spend some time in Disneyland and visit family in the area. My brother told me that I was stupid for getting a hotel, and I should just stay with him and his family. He has two girls, age 5 and age, who I've only met twice.

When I got there, I was shocked that him and his wife were planning to just go to work and leave the kids with me. I am NOT good with kids. I don't dislike them, I'm just really uncomfortable being responsible for them. The entire family knows this fact very well. I've been like that since I was a kid and I'm happily child free. I told my brother that I was not here to be daycare for his kids. He got upset because he'd already told her aunt that she didn't need to watch them this week. I was irritated that he hadn't even asked me about this. I told him that I wasn't planning on being available to sit at his house watching his kids while they worked, and I reminded him that I was planning to spend a few days at the

park, which is a few hours away. I may be bad with kids, but I know better than to even mention the word Disneyland around them. Later that night, my brother tells me that it's stupid to pay for a hotel by the park. I should just drive up for the day, and then I can take the girls. Without missing a beat, he asked his kids if they would spend the day with their aunt at Disneyland, and the response is what you would expect. I was floored! I told them I had to go home and then I couldn't go to the park.

I grabbed my stuff and drove up and found a hotel close to the park. I spent four days balancing between parks, ordering room service, going to the pool, spa, and bar, and a few times just drowning my sorrows alone in the hotel room. My phone blew up with family, who I haven't been close to an over a decade telling

me how awful I was and how much I upset my niece's, my brother and his wife. They said that they were all grieving too and that I was being selfish. So am I the butthole for not taking them with me? Oh, P. What? Come on. Your brother obviously just went into free babysitter. Then he tried to emotionally manipulate you into watching his kids, and I assume paying for your niece's tickets to Disneyland as well. Honestly, OP, it sounds like your brother picked up some toxic traits from your father. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes and I'm giving your brother 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash in my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow

my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. That was our Slasher My The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.