rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole for Installing a Secret Tracking App on My GF's Phone?

Episode Date: April 4, 2022

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Welcome to R-slash. Am I the butthole where OP discovers a secret tracking app on our phone? Am I the butthole for wanting to tell my brother's fiance about the tracking app he's secretly installed on the new phone that he bought for her. So I'm a 22 year old woman and my brother, who's 27, is currently engaged to his fiance, a 25 year old woman. He bought her a new phone for Valentine's Day and he asked my brother, who's trained a computer and software stuff to install a hidden tracking app on the phone so his fiance won't see it or notice it. I overheard them talking, and when I entered the room, they went silent.

I waited till my brother left, then talked to my boyfriend. He denied having this conversation with my brother first, then admitted to installing the app on the phone. I told him that he and my brother were in the wrong because this is a huge breach of privacy. He said that he has nothing to do with it and he advised me to stay out of it as well. But I said that I want to tell my brother's fiance. My boyfriend argued with me about being nosy and intrusive and told me to stay out of it and let them deal with their own issues. But I thought that this was unfair to my future sister-in-law since she's the one working, paying bills and rent, and this is how she's treated. My boyfriend told me to GTFO with this attitude, and again said that I

should stay out of it because it doesn't concern me in any way. I don't know. I feel horrible after hearing about what my brother did, and since I have a good relationship with his fiance, I can't help but feel guilty in wanting to tell her. Am I the butthole for wanting to tell her? Man, the hypocrites in the story today, this is nuts! This guy's gonna say to mind your own business and say out of their drama, but your boyfriend was the one who helped install the software? So like, which is it, dude? Should you stay out of their business or not? Because clearly you did interfere with their business. So, Opie, obviously there's

the ethical implication of just like this is wrong, it's just a breach of privacy. It doesn't matter who's paying the bills. It doesn't matter who's the boy here, it doesn't matter who's the girl. What matters is that this is a like very clear cut invasion of privacy. But then on top of that, there's the added layer of, is this even legal? I don't know where you live or what state you're in, but I wouldn't be surprised at all if installing secret tracking apps on someone else's property is illegal because that sounds,

it either sounds illegal or sounds like it should be illegal. So that means that your brother and your boyfriend are perpetuating a crime. OP, not only should you tell your would-be sister-in-law, but you also might wanna check out your own phone because your boyfriend is sending out some crazy red flags here. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes.

I'm giving both of these dudes three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for sending my cousin the bill for my kid's birthday cake? Because her kid ruined it? We recently threw my 5 year old a birthday party. He hasn't had a real birthday party since he was 2 years old due to COVID, so this was the first one that he would actually remember. We wanted to make it special, so we invited all of our closest friends, family members, and their kids. One of my cousins, a single mom, has a very unruly six-year-old. He's loud, disobedient, and a nightmare in public. When it came time to blow out the candles and cut the birthday cake, he came and stood

directly next to my son. I anticipated what was going to happen next and asked my husband to stand behind the kid in case he tried to pull anything. After we sang the birthday song, this kid kept trying to blow out the candles. My husband kept blocking him and pulling him back, and we could tell the kid was getting frustrated. Eventually, my son blew out the candles, and the kid absolutely lost it. He threw a tantrum and slammed his entire arm into the cake, knocking it onto the table.

It was so awkward. Everyone gasped and got quiet. My son looked up at us and I could tell that he was about to start crying. In an effort to not cause a bigger scene, my husband picked him up and whispered to him that we had another special cake just for him. We didn't, and that seemed to calm him down. Meanwhile, his cousin was still standing there, screaming and crying with his arm covered in cake. His mom was nowhere to be seen. I walked him over to the sink and washed him

off, and quietly told him that he shouldn't have done that to the cake, and he should apologize to his cousin for what he did. He screamed, NOOOO in my face and then ran away. My husband ended up running out to buy a sheet cake that we cut and served to everyone. I spoke to my cousin after the party about what happened since she wasn't in the room and she brushed it off saying, kids will be kids!

I completely disagree. I've been to plenty of birthday parties where the other kids let the birthday boy or the birthday girl have their moment. I suggested that she pay for the ruined cake, and she looked at me like I was crazy. I told her how important it was to us that this birthday be special to my son since it would be the first one that he remembered. And now all he would remember was that his cousin ruined his special moment. She got extremely defensive and refused to pay for anything.

She then accused me of acting like the perfect mom and began to list the ways in which I was in fact not perfect. It was a hurtful conversation and we haven't spoken since. I sent her the bill for the ruined cake and she hasn't paid us. I actually feel like she should pay us for both cakes since her kid is the reason that we had to get a new one but I didn't go that far. My husband thinks that she'll never pay us and that I should drop the issue at this point. He says that since she's a single mom it's probably hard on her and we should cut them both some slack. I understand that but I feel like that's just letting

her and her son off the hook, and this will lead to even bigger problems in the future if we don't hold them accountable. Am I the butthole here? So clearly you're not the butthole here, but I do agree with your husband that this is pretty much a lost cause. Yeah, your cousin should pay for the cake, but good luck making it happen. I think your best solution considering the cousin is an entitled mom and the boy is an entitled child is to just cut them out of your life. Would you really lose anything? Like would it make your life worse if they weren't around?

Probably not. Like yeah, it might cause some drama in your family, but so she's causing drama anyways. So to me OP, if you're gonna be stuck in a loose-leuse situation, then you may as well choose the option that doesn't make your life, your husband's life, and your son's life extra miserable. Go no contact with your cousin, cut your losses, and just move on. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your cousin and her son 2.5 out of 5 buttholes.

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Am I the butthole for moving out without informing my roommate and possibly causing him to lose the place? First, I would like to inform you that I'm on the autism spectrum. I'm a 22 year old guy and I've been living with a roommate for close to 5 months now. I'm not on the lease. The rent and utilities are too much for my ex-rumate to handle on his own. I have a tick, you could say. I count.

And by that, I mean that I count steps, stairs, lightposts, sips, bites of food, pillows. It helps me cope with the stimulation of the world. When I moved in, I made it clear to my then-Rumate that he was not allowed to touch my food. Since one, I can't eat anything that I or my family don't cook. Two, while cooking, I tend to count the individual pieces of food, think how many chicken chunks there are, how many pieces of vegetables, etc. And if while eating the numbers don't match, I tend to get overwhelmed. My roommate respected that for the first couple of months. Then he started stealing bites. It stressed me out

and I went to talk to him. At first he denied it, then he apologized and promised to never do it again. A couple of weeks later he would do so again. Five days ago I got home after a very stressful day and I took out a container of strawberries. When I got to the end of it, it was three strawberry shorts. I had a meltdown the first in more than four years. After I managed to calm down and feel better, I called my parents and asked to move back in while looking for another place. I packed my stuff and was out by the next day. I did not inform my roommate about his moving. Also, I'd paid up front next month's rent, so I didn't need to give him anything.

He didn't even know that I moved out until today, and he called me panicked about his situation. I told him that he was bad for my mental health, and that I'll no longer be living with him, and I'm blocking him from everywhere after we hang up. He called me a butthole, and told me that he'll become homeless because I couldn't spare three measly strawberries. I am bad with human interactions and judging situations accurately. So am I the butthole in the situation? OP, this isn't about three strawberries. This is about your roommate fundamentally disrespecting your boundaries. You came to him and said, hey, don't steal my food. Then he stole your food. Then you said, hey, you're stealing my food, please stop. And he said, I promise I won't.

And then he did it anyways. Also, like since you're not on the least, you're under no obligation to actually give him notice. You're just living there like casually and paying him out of pocket. So if you want to leave, you can leave. Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your roommate two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for gifting my mom and her husband a book on cheating for their anniversary? I'm a 16 year old guy and I love my mom who's 35. But when I was 10, she had an affair and left us.

I visited her as often as I could and she always seemed so happy when I was there, but I hated her new family, so I stopped visiting. Honestly, we rarely ever saw each other after that, just for my birthday and events, really. She wants us to be close, but I want nothing to do with her new husband, so I've kept my distance. Except, on February 20, my dad announced that he'd be out on business until March 12th, and my grandparents are stuck visiting relatives in Italy, so I really had nowhere to go, and my mom jumped at the chance to have me stay with her. And just my luck, my mom's anniversary with her husband was on Sunday. I haven't had a good time here at all. So all I do is stay in my

room doing homework or go out with friends to avoid family activities. Because it sucks seeing how lovey-dovey she is with her husband and how they seem like the perfect family with her daughters. This morning, before her anniversary day, she came to my bed and tried to cuddle with me like how she did before she left us. But that made me angry, like we can't just go back in time and pretend that it's how it was. So I just pretended to be asleep and stayed curled up and frozen until she left. I started crying because of that, and I felt angry and snarky, and my mom majored in literature, so I got her a copy of Anna Korn enough for her anniversary.

The book's about a lady who leaves her husband and son for her lover. I've never read it, but I watched the movie with my girlfriend and I hated it. The anniversary party was on Sunday. Everyone except me was having fun and then people gave their gifts. I gave mine and when my mom saw it, she seemed shocked, but just said thanks. The party ended like an hour after. But at night, when she was in a room, I heard her crying really loudly. So I kind of eavesdropped a little and heard her saying stuff about the book and me, and her husband was trying to call her. The next day at breakfast she left for work early

before I woke up and her husband straight up called me a butthole and other stuff for gifting them that. It's been a few days now and my mom has barely talked to me. Honestly, I feel so wrong that I made my mom cry, but at the same time, I don't want to be here and she knows that. So am I really the butthole? Okay, so if you're like not happy in a relationship, then you can leave the relationship. What you shouldn't do is cheat while you're still in that relationship. And even if you are going to go off with another guy, why does that mean that you have to abandon your existing kids? There are plenty of people who have like bitter, angry, brutal divorces, but still they try to work together with their

ex-spouse because they have to like share custody with their kids and they have to, you know, switch weekends and so on and so forth. But your mom didn't just abandon your dad, she also abandoned you. So if you want to feel angry about that, then you have every right to because what sort of parent abandons their own children? And like, what's the problem with that gift?

She is a woman who abandoned her wife and kids to go cheat with some other dude. And the husband has the audacity to call you the butthole when he's the one who slept with some married woman? Give me a break. Oh, I'm so sorry, stepdad. Did you feel like you were being a butthole when you were railing a married woman? Opie, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your stepdad four out of five buttholes and I'm giving your mom five out of five

buttholes. You can't just abandon your kids and then expect them to just be like, oh, I'm so happy to see my mom who forgot that I existed for like 10 years. Am I the butthole for yelling at my husband and telling him to get over himself after he threw away my tampon box? I'm a 27 year old woman and my husband is 30. We've been together for 3 years and married for 2 months. So here's the thing.

I used to use pads for my periods, but recently I was able to start using tampons. In comparison tampons work 10 times better for me, especially when I'm outside. My husband, Ryan, hates tampons. He never truly gave me a reason, other than just saying that he doesn't feel comfortable with me using them. I didn't think that it was a big deal at first since he says that he hates a lot of the stuff that I do, but he puts up with it anyways except for this. He asked that I go back to using pads but I made it clear that since it's my body then

I get to decide. He threw away some of my tampons that he had access to and I was getting upset but to keep the piece I just bought a box and hid it away from him. He somehow found that box and hid it away from him. He somehow found that box and threw it away. I didn't find that out until I had my period yesterday, and I realized that I had no tampons to use. I was tired and stressed, so I yelled at him after he admitted to throwing away the entire box. He argued that I already knew how he felt about this stuff, and yet I decided to still keep it around.

I had lost it and told him that he had no right to do this, and I told him to get over himself already. He just stared at me, almost like he was about to tear up or something, then he walked out. He later went on about how we, as a couple, should take each other's discomfort into consideration, and he said that he'd already tried to speak to me about these tampons, but I brushed him off and insulted him. And I verbally abused him.

He also said that if I insist on using them, then I should do it while I'm outside the house, but I said that won't happen. I feel bad for how it played out, but I was just at my wits end and in so much pain, so I lashed out. Did I go too far here? Does he have a valid point or not? This is weird? I don't even understand why this guy is so bothered by it. Like I can't even imagine... like what I'm trying to think. Okay, I'm a stupid moron. I'm intimidated by tampons. Why am I intimidated by tampons? Is it because I think my wife is gonna get sexual pleasure

from it and that makes me jealous? Is it because the tampon is smaller than my member? So that makes me feel intimidated. Is it because the idea of something being inside my wife is scary to me? Like I can't even, I don't even know what this guy's talking about. What is going through this dude's mind? Also, he said that he hates a lot of stuff that you do, but he puts up with it anyway.

Like, that's kind of a red flag, I'm gonna be honest. What could you be doing that he hates? If you do a lot of stuff that he hates, then why did he marry you? I don't know, OP. Your husband is a weirdo. There's a super easy way to solve this though. Just don't use tampons for a while. Don't use pads either, obviously.

Just, you know, let it all hang loose for a while, and I'm sure your husband will quickly change his mind. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your husband gets 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, check out my second YouTube channel by clicking the link in the description.