rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Kicking All the Women Out of My Wedding?

Episode Date: October 28, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole For some reason, all of the women in OP's family are incredibly toxic. They prank, harass, and tease other women who join the family. So when OP decides to marry the love of his life, his family members decide to "prank" OP's fiancé by them all showing up to the wedding wearing white. OP kicks them out -- every single one of them. They get upset at OP and his fiancé because they can't handle a "simple prank." Is OP the butthole in this situation? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash Am I the Butthole, where OP forces his teenage daughter to sleep in the backyard. Am I the Butthole for making my daughter sleep in the backyard after what she did to our housemaid? I'm a 46 year old man, and my daughter, who's 16, is a high school junior. I noticed recently that she's been behaving in a bad manner, constantly commenting on other people's looks, belongings, calling them stuff that isn't cool, and just being insensitive. It's like she lost a filter or something, because usually she's polite, but my wife's suspected that our daughter's sudden misbehavior occurred after she started hanging out with these

new girls from school. They're basically the mean girl crowd, and my daughter has started picking up on their behavior. I've sat down with my daughter, and I've had many discussions about how her behavior has been negatively affecting everyone around her. Our housemate is the person most affected here, because my daughter has chosen her to be the target of her criticisms, criticizing her hair, clothes, and etiquette. Our housemate has complained about our daughter calling her offensive names,

like filthy and gross for cleaning certain areas of our house. I took a stand, and I explicitly told my daughter that I would punish her if she ever said stuff like that to our housemate again. Last week, my daughter had a party to go to, and earlier that day, she called our housemate filthy. So, I grounded her by not letting her go to the party. She threw a fit and called her housemaid a liar saying she never called her that, but that was the end of it. Days later, my daughter came to me saying that she couldn't find her iPhone after looking everywhere.

She asked me to call her number, so I did. My wife and I were stunned to discover the iPhone was ringing inside of our housemaid's back. I confronted the housemaid immediately, and she denied it and cried, saying that she never touched the phone nor had any idea how it got there. I noticed my daughter calling her a thief repeatedly, so I told her to stop and go to her room. I checked the indoor camera before continuing the argument, and I saw my daughter place

her iPhone inside of our housemaids back. I was livid. I apologized to the housemaid and gave her the rest of the day off. I then showed the video to my daughter and she was absolutely speechless. I said that what she did was immoral and straight up offensive to tamper with that poor woman's livelihood over a petty party that she couldn't go to. I told her she was grounded and that she would have to spend the night in the backyard. She's a germaphob. But she cried, begging me to not make her sleep with the dirt, insects, and the hot temperature. I refused

to discuss it, or I would make it two nights. My wife said that I should go easy on her, but I said that calling people filthy and accusing them of stealing was not okay. In fact, it was the absolute worst. I then went through with my punishment. Opie, I'm giving you a super safe zero out of five buttholes here. I think what you did is completely justified your daughter deserves punishment. She should be punished. What you did was mean, selfish, and cruel, and I'm giving your daughter three out of five buttholes.

However, even though I agree with your justification, I disagree with your method of punishment. I think making your daughter sleep outside in the dirt is probably not the safest course of action. She's right, you've got germs and bad weather out there, and no one should have to sleep without a roof over their heads, so I think making your own daughter sleep outside is pretty disrespectful. Also, there's the safety concern of making a 16 year old girl sleep outside. Like I don't know what your backyard is like.

So I don't know if people can see her sleeping in the yard or what. But there's some really obvious safety concerns that would make me a little bit uncomfortable about just making a minor sleep outside with not even a tent. And then you've got the added concern of like, this is going to be an angry, probably crying upset 16 year old girl who's sleeping outside. I really wouldn't be surprised if the way that she reacted to that situation is like she runs away or she goes to a friend's house. And that adds in another level of danger to the situation. So I don't think that this is the best way to punish your daughter.

I think what you should have done was give your housemaid like a week off and then make your daughter do the work that your housemaid had to do. That would be fair to your housemaid because your housemaids have victim here and it would help teach empathy to your daughter which is the core problem here. The problem isn't that your daughter needs to sleep and dirt to be around germs. The problem is that your daughter isn't showing any empathy or respect to other people. So if she essentially has to walk a mile in your house made shoes, then that'll help teach empathy. So yeah, zero out of five buttholes, I just wish you'd take an a different approach to punishment.

Am I the butthole for demanding that my son, stepdad, pay for the Xbox that he threw in the pool? I'm a 46 year old man and I'm the father of my 16 year old son, Adam. His mother and I have been separated since he was six. Adam is always happy to spend time at my place as part of the custody agreement. He hates his stepfather, who's in his 30s, and calls him controlling. He puts strict rules on Adam, and punishes him for long periods of time over small mistakes. He doesn't give Adam any allowance like I do or let his mom give him any money, so

Adam started working to be able to buy the stuff that he wants. Adam always wanted to buy an Xbox, but he couldn't afford the full price, so I told him that whatever he saved, I would give him twice that amount and he was able to buy a new Xbox for the first time weeks ago. I got an angry phone call from a stepdad asking why the hell I bought Adam and Xbox knowing that it's not allowed at his house. First of all, I told him that Adam paid for that Xbox with his hard earned money. And second of all, that it's Adam's mom's house, so he can't dictate what isn't

allowed. He went on and on about how the Xbox would distract Adam from his school and chores, but I assured him that Adam was responsible with this time and he could manage to balance just fine. He suggested that I keep the Xbox at my house and Adam would come over to play, but I said that's not up to me.

Clearly, I pissed him off, so he warned me about the consequences of seeing Adam playing with that Xbox and ignoring his duties. I hung up immediately. Two days later, Adam called and was freaking out saying that his stepdad had a rage fit and threw his Xbox in the pool as a punishment for Adam playing with it instead of mowing the lawn. I was in dismay, so I went over to his mom's house to see what was going on, but I didn't find her. I found Adam crying. I confronted his stepdad, and he said that he had to do this because Adam was being neglectful with his chores, and said

this was a result of built-up resentment because of Adam's continuous lack of responsibility. I argue that even if he thought Adam was being irresponsible with his playing time, throwing the Xbox and the pool was unhinged because he could have just taken it from him. He yelled that he gets to decide what punishment fits and went on about how he was just trying to help Adam become a responsible young man. I was tired of this and I told Adam to pack his stuff and go to my place. His stepdad firmly said that he won't allow that and that I was preventing him from performing his duties as a father and an authority figure, but I told him that he needed to pay for a new Xbox. He argued that I was delusional to expect him to pay for something that he doesn't want in his house in the first place, but I said too bad

and left. Adam's mother came to my house and argued with me, saying that her husband made a mistake, but I shouldn't have taken Adam out of the house. I asked her if she was happy with how her husband was treating Adam, and she said that it was tough love because he wouldn't have done this if he didn't care. I blatantly told her that her husband was just being an overbearing, power-tripping control freak, and I told her Adam is staying with me and we're expecting a new Xbox. She told the family that I was stopping her from seeing Adam. So the funny thing about tough love OP is that if you can't tell the difference between

tough love and abuse, then it's not tough love, it's abuse. Adam's stepfather sounds like a pathetic man child who cares more about controlling people than actually being a good person or a good parent. He's not teaching responsibility, he's just bullying Adam into doing chores. And let's be clear, what he did was literally theft. It doesn't matter that he was a stepfather or it was in his house, he bought that with his own money, so it's his property. And to just throw it in the pool and destroy that property is literally theft.

And if he doesn't want to buy a new Xbox, then okay, just give him the equivalent money that you spent on buying the Xbox in the first place. If I were UOP, I would start making a paper trail. Go to the Cubs and file a police report for theft and destruction of property. Then if you won't pay for the new Xbox, then take him to small claims court. This isn't really about the $500 Xbox. What it's about is establishing a paper trail so that if custody problems come up in the future, you can back up your claims. Adam isn't some toddler. He's a 16 year old boy and that's old enough to decide where he wants to live.

If his stepdad can't handle the responsibility of being a loving father, then screw him. I'm giving you and your son zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving the stepfather four out of five buttholes and I'm giving Adam's mom also four out of five buttholes. I'm giving the stepfather 4 out of 5 buttholes and I'm giving Adam's mom also 4 out of 5 buttholes because she's letting her husband abuse her own kid. Am I the butthole for refusing to stop seeing my granddaughter despite my son's wishes? My son, who's 40, is what people call a lady's man. I had no problem with it until last year when he got a 20-year-old girl pregnant because he said condoms don't work for him. When he found out about the baby, he blocked the mom and ghosted her for a month. He came to tell me about it once his baby's mom reached out again saying that he didn't have to care for the baby, but he did have to pay child support. I was shocked and told my son that

he could either step up or not, but that I would have a relationship with a child because it's my only grandchild. He chose to not step up and try to fight child support, but that I would have a relationship with a child because it's my only grandchild. He chose to not step up and try to fight child support, but a month ago he was placed on child support anyway. Now that my granddaughter Lili is born, I've been helping pay for everything because her mom is in college and my son quit his job so his payment will go down. I am very disappointed in him. I watch Lili during her mom's classes and pay for her to have an Annie so her mom can

work hard to get her degree. Money is no problem for my family, but my son is very angry that I'm helping them out. He says that they shouldn't get my money and that if my mom needed help, then she should have aborted it. I told my son that I will continue to help them because my granddaughter is innocent in this and that he was the one who refused to wear a condom. So why should Lily and her mom have their lives ruined? He said it was either him or them and I said that I would always help my granddaughter.

He stopped talking to me and my daughter said that I went too far and that I should just cut ties with them. Am I the butthole for helping them against my son's wishes? Opie, are you the butthole for being a good grandparent? No. Are you the butthole for helping a child and single mother in need? No. Are you the butthole for spending your own hard earned money on what you want to spend it on? No.

Like, what are these people talking about? OP, you get a rock solid zero out of five buttholes. You're just being a good grandparent and there's nothing wrong with that. Your son, meanwhile, is a 40-year-old man who knocked up a 20-year-old girl and then quit his job so that he wouldn't have to pay her extra child support. That is incredibly selfish, entitled,

narcissistic behavior. It's just disgusting. If you had told this story without talking about your son's age, I would have just guessed that your son was like 20, 25 somewhere in that range. But the fact that this is a grown a f*** man who knocked up a college-aged girl and then just was like, well, not my problem, and I'm not going to work so I don't have to pay child support. That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. He is a man-child. I'm giving your son four out of five buttholes for being a selfish, manipulative, dead-beat dad. Am I the butthole for making all the women in my family leave? After they all showed up to my

wedding wearing white? I'm a 33-year-old guy and I have a large family. My family is mostly aunts and female cousins aside from my mom, stepmom, step sister and grandmother. I don't know how to say this, but all these women I mentioned are into teasing and joking. They formed this unit, which I admit is kind of toxic, and they would tease and roast every new woman that enters a family by marriage by setting up tests to see if they deserve to be part of the family. Or they would roast their looks and styles to the point of breaking down their confidence and self-esteem. Then after a few months of teasing this girl, they would announce that they'd finally

welcome this girl into the family. The newest member would then join in on the teasing, which my dad says is crazy. When I first introduced my then girlfriend, now wife, I made it clear that I didn't want any woman in the unit to come at her or harass her with even a single word. They went behind my back and were roasting her looks and her job on Facebook. I had them apologize one by one after they gave the, where just testing the water to see if she's capable to be part of the family, excuse. They did not want to apologize, but once I said that I wouldn't invite any of them to

the wedding unless they apologized, including my mom, everyone immediately apologized and brought gifts for my wife. My wedding was two weeks ago. There was talk about the women in the family wanting to pull a prank on my wife by wearing white and they called it the ultimate test to see how my wife would react. My brother warned me, so I announced that if any one of them showed up in white, I would kick them out, including my own mom. They said this wasn't true and they would never do such a thing.

However, they showed up to my wedding one by one wearing white dresses and each and every one of them was told to leave after they tried giving excuses by either making scenes or getting the men involved. The senior women of the unit who included my mom and aunts showed up in white and they refused to leave. I threatened to take harsher action and my mom was pissed telling me to step aside but I wouldn't let her inside. I forced my mother to leave while the men in the family just watched, stunned. My dad was on my side and he supported me a lot. I forced my mother to leave while the men in the family just watched, stunned. My dad was on my side and he supported me a lot. I felt absolutely awful because my wedding was being interrupted by them making scenes.

My wife was hurt beyond measure, but the women in my family were pissed. My cousin blasted me on social media later, saying that I excluded all the women from my wedding because my wife was so insecure she couldn't handle another woman's presence at her wedding. I had an argument with them, and my mom berated me, saying that it was supposed to be a prank, but I said they were taking it too far. Mom said that I took it too far by kicking them out because they were trying to get a reaction from my wife to see if she was one of those bridesilus, and they were going to change as soon as the prank was over, but I ruined my wedding by reacting so aggressively. After she said that I had

to bring my wife to her to apologize, I just stopped talking. I haven't seen them in two weeks, and they've excluded me from everything. Was I the butthole for how I handled this? O.P., you haven't seen these people in two weeks. Okay, like, is that a bad thing? Because from where I'm standing, that sounds like a good thing. I mean, you said it yourself, Opie. Your family is super toxic, extremely toxic. Like, I read thousands and thousands of Reddit stories, and this is one of the most toxic families

I've ever read about on Reddit. They're not pranksters, they're not jokesters, they're bullies, they're harassers, like plain and simple. And the reason why other girls join in on the pranks is because they'd rather be on the inside pranking others than constantly being on the outside getting pranked by them. Look, OP, marriage matters. It matters a lot. When you marry someone you're saying, I'm picking you as my life partner throughout my entire life. I may love my mom, dad, sister, brother,

Everyone else very much, but at the end of the day, you're the person that I'm choosing to be my life partner until the very end So if you don't have that person's back, then why are you even married? And like I'm not saying this to criticize you I'm saying this to agree with you because that's exactly what you're doing. You're taking the side of your partner You set very clear boundaries multiple times. And every time you did it, the women in your family just stomped all over your boundaries, which is disrespecting you, disrespecting your wife. It's just extremely disrespectful across the board.

I'm not exaggerating at all when I say that if the women in my family who I love very deeply did this to me and my wife on my wedding day, I would cut them out. Like, it would be very hurtful to do that, but that level of disrespect and just toxic behavior I will absolutely not tolerate. So OP, I'm giving you zero out of five but holes here. You had your wives back, you set clear boundaries,

and when they disrespected your boundaries, you enforced consequences. I'm giving your female family members 5 out of 5 buttholes. They sound like garbage humans. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, you can sponsor my podcast to unlock extra episodes. Also, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.