rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole for Letting My Friends Call My Wife "Ugly?"

Episode Date: March 25, 2022

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP's wife is a professional makeup artist who takes great pride in her makeup. His friends, however, hate his wife's makeup and make fun of her behind her back. During a group hangout event, OP's friends mock his wife by saying that she looks like a cancer ward patient, causing his wife to cry and leave the event. OP tries to defend his friends by saying that it was just a joke. What do you think? Get $90 off and a free gift at Sunbasket! Go to sunbasket.com/rslash - Enter the promocode "rslash" at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, am I the butthole where OPs partner tries to steal their inheritance money? Today's episode is sponsored by Sun Basket. Because of COVID, I literally haven't gone to the grocery store in like two years. Obviously, because I don't want COVID to kill me, but also because I do voice work. So I don't think my fans would really enjoy my content if I catch COVID and I have to record episodes like Welcome to R-SlasprowerVenge! That's why I love, love, love services like SunBasket. SunBasket is a meal delivery service that delivers healthy meals straight to your door. They offer organic produce, sustainable seafoods and meats, and best of all, it's honestly really tasty.

The other thing I like about it is that they don't only send you meals to cook. Like, yeah, you'll have ingredients and instructions for how to cook a healthy meal, but they also give you snacks, and who doesn't like snacks? Look, I'm just going to read the names of some of these dishes so you can get an idea of what we're talking about. Pan-seared salmon tikka masala over rainbow quinoa. Honeybalsamic glaze chicken with warm cabbage apple salad, Chipotle barbecue tofu salad with black beans and honey mustard vinaigrette. Right now, Sun Basket is offering $90 off and a free gift when you order. Go to SunBasket.com. Slash, R-slash, and enter the promo code R-slash at checkout. Am I the butthole for not putting my husband's kids in my will?

My husband Jack and I married later in life. We were both in our 50s. It was a second marriage for both of us. He has three kids. I don't have any biological kids, but I'm still very close to my former stepson, Thomas, that I helped raise. We're both very well off financially. Jack more than me.

Jack owned his own business, and he was very upfront that he intended to leave that business to his kids. We signed a prenup before our wedding that basically said that we each get to keep what we brought into the marriage. We kept our finances separate, though we both contributed to a joint account for household expenses which we split 50-50. We also wrote our will wheels at this time. Jack left everything to his kids and I left all of my belongings to Thomas. We were both aware of

what the other had done and we were fine with it. Jack's business went on to about four years ago. He was desperate to keep his business going and poured all of his savings into it. The business had been his grandfather's and then his father's, and he was determined to be able to hand it down to his kids. He ended up losing almost everything. He was completely devastated. As for our standard of living, not much has changed, except that I'm now paying 100% of our household expenses.

I love Jack, so I'm fine with this. I had a health scare about a month ago where I realized that if I died, Jack would be left with nothing as my will gives everything I owned to Thomas. I told Jack that I was planning to change my will. My plan was to put one third of my assets into a trust for Thomas' kids.

Thomas currently has two kids, and they both call me Nana. Then one third would be given to Thomas and one third would be put into a trust for Jack. I set it up so that Jack would receive a generous monthly check, but after he died, the assets and the trust would go to Thomas. I did it that way because I won Jack to be taken care of while he's alive. But after that, I want them wanting to go to Thomas, not Jack's kids. Jack is furious that his kids aren't going to receive anything. He kept pointing out that I have

three step kids, not just one step kid. Why are his kids getting nothing and Thomas getting everything? I should point out that by the time Jack and I got together, Jack's kids were fully grown. One already had a kid and another was married. Other than the occasional holiday, I've never lived with Jack's kids. And even though Thomas isn't biologically my kid, Thomas is still my son in every way that counts. But while I do get along with Jack's kids, we're not close at all. Jack is threatening to leave me over this. He keeps saying that

if I don't care about his kids, that means I don't care about him. I've told him that's nonsense and that I do not respond well to ultimatums. We had planned to leave our assets separately before we were ever married, but now that he doesn't have any money, suddenly he wants me to leave my money to his kids. Am I the butthole for not wanting to? Okay so surely OP, if you had lost all of your money, then Jack would have given a portion of his family business to your stepson, right? No, of course not.

Your husband made his bed and now he gets a lay in it. He specifically said that all your assets should be kept separately, so that's what you're doing. Your husband is a hypocrite and a butthole. I'm giving him 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Do not let him use you OP. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. You have every right in the world to spend your money the way you want to. Am I the butthole for ruining my wife's work and eating the food before she could take pictures of it? My wife runs a website dedicated for cooking and recipes. She takes pictures of food before we eat, whether it's lunch or dinner, and post them on our Instagram account. To be honest, I'm annoyed by having to wait so long for her to get the perfect

shot of the food after decorating it, adding a fork, removing this side dish, etc. It just takes so long and I lose my appetite from just waiting until she's done. This has become the norm, but yesterday I decided I was having none of it. I found out she cooked an entire feast as her next cooking project and put it on the table. Note that when I looked at the whole table setting, I figured the pictures had already been taken, right? But no. She said that she was going to take a few pictures and I had to wait. She went upstairs to get her camera. That's when I grabbed the spoon and started filling my plate from every dish that she made and ruining the look as a result. I was hungry and I was unwilling to wait around

for over 10 minutes to eat. She came downstairs, saw the damage and blew up, almost crying, saying that I ruined her cooking project that she worked for hours on, as well as putting so much effort into. I said that I was hungry and that I couldn't wait, but she kept yelling how much of an obnoxious jerk I was for not waiting until she took the pictures of the dishes she made.

She even said that this was my attempt to sabotage her success. I said, oh please, enough with these conspiracy theories. I'm just hungry and I couldn't wait until she got the perfect shot! We had a big argument and she went upstairs crying. I finished my food and went out to cool off for a bit. When I returned, she threatened that she'll never let me eat anything that she cooks and she said that she would rather throw it in the garbage than give it to an ungrateful, obnoxious jerk like me.

I said that wasn't cool, but she told me to go f myself. I said fine, then went to spend the night in the guest room. She texted me the word jerk about 15 times and then I turned my phone off. Today she's gone complete radio silence. Am I the butthole? Okay, um, what the f***? What the actual f***? I almost wonder if this is a troll post for real. Your wife makes professional level full meals for you. That takes hours and hours to repair. But you can't give her 10 measly minutes so she can take a couple of pictures for her literal job. Like even if it were just a

hobby, this would still be like a major butthole move. But the fact that she literally pays the bills with these photographs and this website makes this so much worse. Like, I really wish that you listed the age of you and your wife on this post OP because I just, I'm dying to know how old you are. This is honestly the behavior of like a 13 year old. But mommy, I'm hungry. I want to eat now, not 10 minutes from now, it stops foot. Like if you're going to be this upset about it, maybe you should keep a bottle of milk in the fridge for when your tummy really gets upset and you just have to eat something immediately. Maybe like some orange slices or some Cheerios, Cheerios are really easy to pick up and

they're great for self-feeding. Let's not forget, dude, you're a grown man. If you get hungry, you can just go make yourself a sandwich or a bowl of soup or cook your own meal. O.P., you're acting like an entitled child and I'm giving you 4 out of 5 buttholes. Your wife gets 0 out of 5 buttholes. Honestly, she sounds like a catch. She owns her own business so clearly she's smart.

She makes massive feasts that you get to enjoy for free. Like, who doesn't want a partner who cooks for hours just because they love to cook and serves delicious mouth-watering meals? But the only thing you have to give up to enjoy these meals is you have to wait an extra 10 minutes before being served. What a f***! What a douchebag, man. I wish I could give you 5 out of 5 buttholes, but I try to reserve those for like literal child abusers, so you're not easy this time. Am I the butthole for refusing to answer to a nickname that I don't like? I'm a 28 year old woman, and I was named after a really obscure character from Greek mythology. My preferred nickname

is taken from the end of my name. I always introduce myself with, I'm full name but you can call me nickname. None of my co-workers in the small business that we work for have ever had a problem with this before, until Megan, who's 25, the niece of Jeff, one of the two owners was hired. Jeff and Dave, who are both in their 50s, co-owned the business, but Dave does the actual day-to-day running of the business. I introduce myself and my nickname as usual, but she immediately said that Bessie would be a better nickname because it comes from the beginning of my name and she liked that

better. I told her that I really didn't like that nickname and I wouldn't answer to it and I asked her to please not call me Bessie, but she insisted that it was so much prettier, and that I would just have to get used to it. For the next two months, she tried to call me Bessie, but I completely ignored her whenever she tried to address me that way. Even when I knew that she really needed help with something, she would call my desk phone and say, hey Bessie, I would reply, you have the wrong number,

there's no Bessie here, and hang up. She then tried to get some of the employees outside the office to start calling me Bessie, but I quickly shut that down. I usually finish my work early and help them with a lot of tedious little things that aren't part of my job description, and I threatened to stop helping them unless they used my preferred nickname. On Friday, she decided she was going to get me to respond to Bessie no matter what. We have an open office design, but we're at opposite ends. She started calling out Bessie in a sing-song voice over and over again to try to annoy me enough to respond.

Other co-workers got annoyed with most telling her to stop, and one co-worker, Lisa, told me to just let her call me Bessie already. I refused, and she just kept calling out Bessie, loud and louder until Dave barged in. He'd been on a conference call with an important client, and he could hear her yelling from his office down the hall. He told her to be quiet, and that if she called me Bessie one more time, he'd ride her up and docker pay. Later, Megan cornered me in the breakroom, called me a butthole for getting her in trouble, and called me Bessie again for good measure, just as Dave was walking in to heat up his lunch. He gave her a stir and look and said, I warned you. Then he walked to HR to have her written up. My other co-worker

is saying that I'm the butthole for never helping Megan, and that if I had just been nicer or hadn't fought her so hard in the nickname, then she probably would have given up on it a long time ago, but because I made such a big deal out of it, it became a challenge. So Reddit, am I the butthole? Okay, so in my opinion, using someone's name incorrectly is like one of the most fundamental insults that you could possibly do. Like, it may not be as harsh or as vulgar as a lot of other curse words out there, but it's really denying who you are at like a fundamental level. You say, this is me, this is my name, this is who I am, it's my identity. And when someone intentionally misuses that, I think that's very, very deeply insulting.

So what Megan is doing is, it's just really, really rude. And I completely agree with you that you should stand your ground on this. And like on top of all that, Megan's the one who's causing the problems here. She's the one who is screaming in an office setting, which is super unprofessional. And she's the one who is screaming in an office setting which is super unprofessional and she's the one who defied the big boss, not just the big boss but the literal owner of the company. I say keep doing you OP, you've set your boundary, now just keep maintaining it. OP you get 0 out of 5 buttholes, Megan gets 2 out of 5 buttholes, your coworker who's defending Megan gets 0.5 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for not taking my wife's side and admitting that she overreacted? Some background, my wife is a makeup artist. She always has these heavy makeup looks on, which can be weird for me as a guy sometimes. But she loves it and she enjoys it so there's no problem there. Though my friends and family tend to make funny, lighthearted comments about her makeup, which she seems to take too seriously. Now onto the situation. My 27th birthday was a few days ago. We celebrated a small diner with my guy friends and my wife. Now, my guy friends are brutally honest and make jokes and tees all the time.

My wife knows how they are, so there's no surprises there. Anyways, my wife took a minute to go to the bathroom to get her makeup fixed as me and the boys were chatting. When she got back, she asked me how she looked, and before I could answer, my friend Austin responded by jokingly saying, damn, you look like you just got out of the cancer ward without heavy makeup on your face. The rest of the guy started laughing and I just stared at my wife. She got very upset and started arguing with Austin about how awful he was. Others joined in and there was so much commotion. I felt upset that they were fighting during my birthday celebration.

I asked my wife to calm down and take a seat, but she asked if I was okay with my friends making fun of her. Austin said, come on, it was a joke. I threw my hands up and said, I admit that my wife overreacted because really it was a joke. She lashed out at me and took an Uber home. The party was cut short, and when I got home we began arguing. I told her she overreacted and that she shouldn't take everything seriously knowing how great she always looks, but she turned it into an argument about how I let my friends insult her and how I should have defended her and her integrity after I basically forced these guys upon her, when she was the one who arranged for this entire celebration.

She kept crying about getting humiliated and me dismissing her feelings and saying that she overreacted. Opie, I legitimately feel sorry for your wife. You let one of your friends insult your wife's appearance in public and front of other people, and then you defended the person who insulted your wife. I've had this same group of friends my entire life. One of my closest friends I've known since kindergarten and then another since high school and we've always been friends and not once in the entire time that I've known them have I or any of my friends insulted the partner of any other friends because it's

awful behavior and if anyone did we would immediately call them out on it because it's just disgusting. If I read a party and one of my friends insulted my, that would be like a complete deal breaker. We would leave the party immediately because I mean, I guess I'm just a man of integrity who doesn't allow other men to insult my wife to her face and expect me to just like defend that person. That's ridiculous, Opie. I really, really don't like to use this insult because it's kind of like overused and I find the word kind of lame. But in my opinion, this is like cuck behavior. You married this woman, she's your wife, and you're gonna let some guy insult her appearance and get away with it. I'm not saying you have to

like square up and fight the guy or something, but for real, you're gonna let that stand, you're gonna defend someone who's insulting your wife. Honestly, OP, this is pathetic. This is really pathetic. I'm giving you, let's say, 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your friend also 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your wife 0 out of 5 buttholes. She's completely right here and you're completely wrong. Am I the butthole for blowing up at my wife

for going to her gender reveal appointment without me? my wife and I are expecting our first baby together. We made an appointment to find out the gender of the baby. To me, this is very important. I hope for a boy. But, unfortunately, on the day of the doctor appointment, I realized that I had to attend my friend's birthday that I remembered last minutes. I asked my wife if we could cancel the appointment and go another day, but she looked shocked that I even considered canceling the appointment and going to my friend's birthday instead. I said I had no choice. She said that canceling the doctor appointment was off the table because these appointments are restricted to specific times and dates and we can't miss it, so she'll just go alone. I told her no because that would be selfish of her, and besides, this'll ruin the news of finding out if the baby is a boy or a girl.

She cut the discussion off and told me to go to the birthday party. I did, and then later found out that she didn't cancel the doctor appointment and went with her mom. I came home seething and blew up at her. I started arguing with her about going behind my back and doing this without me. She said that it wasn't her fault that I prioritized a party over my child. I told her I didn't prioritize anything. She literally could have canceled and we could have gone on a different day. But clearly, she was trying to steer the fight

in a direction where I look like the neglectful and irresponsible one. We fought some, and she said that I'm probably angry with her because it's a girl, but I responded that she's wrong. She left the room claiming that I'm stressing her out. Now she acts like I owe her an apology on top of everything else, but I feel upset and I feel like I was deceived by her. Am I the butthole? Hmm. I wonder why she tried to steer the conversation in a way that made you feel like the neglectful

and irresponsible one. Maybe because you were being neglectful and irresponsible? Has that ever crossed your mind? Like your wife said it correctly. You literally did choose a birthday party over your own child. I have to ask, how important could that birthday party have possibly been when you almost forgot about it? Your wife is 100% justified in going to that appointment without you and being upset at you. Also, the way that you tell the story, it doesn't sound like she was deceitful at all. It sounds like she was upset at you, and she made it very clear through

implication that she was going anyways. OP, you get 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Your wife gets 0 out of 5 buttholes. And you know what's like really depressing about this story? Is OP, you seem to think that the most important part of going to the doctor is that you get to find out the gender of the baby, but that's not the case. The most important part of this visit is that you get to be there with your wife and support her and share this moment together and imagine your future with your future child. It's not about the gender, the gender is just, you know, it's interesting, but this is about like a critical moment in your journey together through life with your spouse, and you're just throwing that away in favor of some birthday party

that you almost forgot about? That's sad, OP. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. every single day.