rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole for Not Giving my House to a Single Mom for Free?

Episode Date: November 23, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP inherits a house from a deceased family member. OP's cousin, who's a single mom, shows up and expects OP to literally just hand over her house, completely free. Even OP's relatives are asking OP to sign over the house because single moms have such a struggle. Do you think OP is the butthole for refusing to hand over a literal house for FREE? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from a cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash Am I the Butthole, where OP refuses to give someone his house for free? Am I the Butthole for not giving my cousin my grandmother's house after she passed away? I'm a 27-year-old guy, and my grandmother passed away recently. In her will, she left me her four bedroom, two bathroom house. Now, before my grandmother passed away, she was in danger of losing the house because of unpaid taxes.

She asked various family members for help, but no one did. I was in college at the time, and I got a huge student refund. She asked me for $1,500 to settle the debt. She said thank you, and we never talked about it again. I didn't want my granny to be homeless after all. That was about eight years ago. Fast forward to today, and I'm now the owner of a house in

the heart of Atlanta. It is prime real estate if I do say so myself. I plan on moving in at the end of the month before doing some light cleaning and renovation. Enter my cousin and her kids. She's upset with me because I got the house. She said that because I don't have any kids, I should give her the house because in her eyes, I got the house for free. I thought she was crazy, but a lot of our family is on her side, stating that it's hard out there for a single mother. They told me that I could buy my own house one day because I'm an able-bodied young man. It'll be harder for her because she has two kids. I'm like, she chose to have those kids. That's not my problem. Everyone's calling me selfish and hell, maybe I am,

but my grandmother wanted me to have this house. Am I the butthole? Opie, you're the opposite of selfish. Based on this story, you're the least selfish person in this family because you're the only person who gave 1,500 bucks to your grandma. Opie, I don't know if your parents or aunts or uncles are still alive, but it's amazing to me that they didn't pay off the 1500. It had to go to a grandson to pay off the 1500. Like, if your cousin is such a great person, where was she when your grandmother was about to be homeless? Opie, absolutely do not give into your cousin. She has no right to it. It's your property. If you give your house over to your cousin, it's going to set you back years in your life. Literal years, maybe even a decade.

Am I the butthole for excluding my husband from my brother's funeral? After he called me with the news and told me to guess, I lost my little brother in a motorcycle accident three weeks ago at the age of 21. This was sudden and devastating beyond measure. I live three towns away from my family, so I didn't know about it right away. So I walked over to get my phone that was charging, and I answered a call for my husband. He asked me why I wasn't answering my sister's call. I asked why, and if she'd called him.

My husband said that my sister had called him to tell us that one of my family members had died. I was shaking at this point while I was waiting for him to tell me more, but he said, guess who? I angrily told him to stop it and just tell me, but he still thought that it was fine to ask me to guess. That's when I lost it on him because my nerves were done. I yelled at my husband to then hung up and immediately called my sister, and she told

me that it was our youngest brother who died. I had an awful reaction because this is my baby brother who I adored so much, and my husband knows how much I cared about him. I drove to my hometown six hours away by myself, and my husband was mad after he found out that I didn't wait for him to take him with me. I told him that I didn't want him with me after he played with my emotions like that. He said that he was trying to prevent me from being traumatized, and he didn't want

to tell me the news all of a sudden. He said he wanted to come to the funeral, but I said that I would kick him out if he showed up, which pissed him off. He said that I had no right to rob him of saying goodbye to his favorite brother-in-law. He said my anger was misplaced, and I was taking it out on him for no other reason than being the bearer of bad news, and that nobody wants to be that person, but he tried to be as nice as he could about it. I haven't talked to him ever since, despite him calling me to come home so we can talk.

Like, what is this guy thinking? How was he so clueless about how you should and shouldn't relay that your little brother has died? Hey wife, guess what? So many in your family's died. What? Who? Guess who?

Is it my mom? Nope. My dad. Wrong again. Let me see. Is it my older sister? Getting warmer. My older brother. Even warmer! My older brother!

Even warmer! My little brother? Ding ding ding! You got it! Yeah, your little brother died in a car accident today. Sorry! Opie, I don't know what your husband did is exactly divorce material, but if I were in your shoes, I would definitely think about it.

Opie, you get a rock solid 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your husband gets 3 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for making a budget to show my niece how hard it would be if she married her fiance? My niece is engaged to her new boyfriend, they've been dating for 4 months and she's just 19 years old. My brother told her that he'll stop funding her life if she marries him. My niece is pretty spoiled, she visited me last week.

I think she thought that I would be supportive because I was also cut off because I refused to divorce my wife. She was telling me how she knew that it would be difficult, but she could manage because she loved him. I asked her if she had a budget and she said that she didn't. I offered to help her make a budget and she was enthusiastic. She didn't know how much money he made and when she texted him about it, he was being shady and not responding.

So I assumed that he would make $16 per hour working 72 hours a week, and he would make $10,000 in tips a year. I also assumed that she would work the same hours and make the same amount. I then showed her how much things will actually cost, and I budgeted them in figures. I also emphasized that these were very generous assumptions on my part and it was a rosier picture than reality. It's still meant that she would have to make substantial changes to her lifestyle and I think it dawned on her how drastically different it would be to date someone without money and be actually married to them. She asked me how I made it work with my wife

and I told her that my wife and I had sat down for hours repairing budgets and getting ready to be cut off. And we were cut off in our 30s when we already had two great careers, and we received other inheritances which helped out immensely. She was sober and serious when she left my house. She broke up with her fiancee and moved back home. It appears that she asked him about his salary, and it was lower than my assumptions, and that freaked her out and she broke up with her fiancee and moved back home. It appears that she asked him about his salary and it was lower than my assumptions, and that freaked her out and she broke up with him. Now she's upset and she said that I scared her and she really misses him. My wife said that I was a bit moneypilled with my assumptions because I knew that I was

being too generous with my assumptions and she would freak out when she went to make a real budget. I did know that and it doesn does make me feel a bit bad. I do feel like I played her here. Opie, are you the butthole here? I would say yes and no. No, you're not the butthole in the sense that you should help her with her budget.

I think everyone should understand their finances, whether you're gonna get married or have a kid or buy a house or buy a car or whatever. It's important to understand like how much money you have, and if you can afford the decision that you're about to make. And clearly because your niece is spoiled, she has no idea how to make a budget, so giving her that information, teaching her that life skill was very kind of you.

However, intentionally manipulating your niece so that when she went to go ask her fiance what was up, she would be disappointed by his answer, that was cruel. If you didn't know how much money his fiance makes, then you should have gone to Google typed in, what is the average salary for X, and then take that number as the assumption for your budget. But intentionally setting up your niece so that she would be disappointed by the truth is a bit underhanded. Overall, OP, I think I'm going to give you like 0.5 out of 5 buttholes because this was a much needed dose of tough love, it's just in my opinion a bit too tough. You definitely could have

conveyed the same message to her without manipulating her. Am I the butthole for my petty response to my boyfriend's purposeful incompetence about chores? My boyfriend has started pretending to be bad at basic life chores, like dishes and laundry, pretending like you can't do them so that I have to do them. I felt pretty frustrated with that, and I told them straight up that I know that he didn't forget how to clean since he moved in with me. He was always very competent living alone, and I didn't appreciate him forgetting how to do chores. For example, I asked him to do dishes, and he refused and refused until he finally did them wrong and I said that I wasn't that stupid. He said that he was trying his best and I was wrong for saying that he was trying to manipulate

me. And that from his perspective, I asked him to do something and he did it the best he could and I kept riding him because it wasn't up to my impossibly high standards and he couldn't win. And he wanted me to believe him when he said that he was trying. Anyway, this might be petty, but I decided to give believing him a try. So, he had bleachedained my favorite little black dress. Instead of getting mad, the next time he had a family event, I put it on. He asked me if I was really going to wear that and that it looked

messy. I said that I love that dress, I understand that accidents happen, so actually I wasn't matter upset about the bleach spots. I thought it looked kinda cool. He said he really thought it looked bad and I said that if he wants he could sharp me on the white spots real quick in the uber. It ended up looking even worse. Another time we were having dinner and he had done the dishes, but he put some of the cups and bowls in the dishwasher right side up so they filled up with dirty dish water. I took those cups and bowls, dumped them out in the sink, but didn't wash them

further, and served his food in them. He said that his plates were dirty, and I was like, they just came out of the dishwasher. It's just water, it's fine. He said, no, this is disgusting. And I said, really, it's no big deal. I'm just getting over my impossibly high cleanliness standards and I really don't think it's that gross. The most recent time I cooked for a work party of his. After cooking, the dish had to cool for about 30 minutes then be refrigerated. I had plans with my friends that night and I asked him to put the dish away after it

cooled. But he forgot. The next morning he put the dish away after it cooled. But he forgot. The next morning, he noticed the dish was never refrigerated. I said it was fine, it was just a mistake, and it'd be probably fine to eat. But there was a lot of meat in it. He got frustrated and said that you can't serve meat left out overnight, and I said, oh, I think it should be okay. Stuff happens. He's stopping so lazy about chores after he realized I seem totally okay with leaving stuff done badly and that he will be living with it. But I feel a little petty for having been dishonest about it.

I actually hate how my bleach dress looked and my stomach turns at dirty dish soup and unrefragrated meat. Am I the butthole for being petty? Opie if he says, oh but I'm trying my best. Honest, I'm not trying to manipulate you then, in my opinion, that's even worse because that just means that you're dating a moron. Personally, I would rather date someone who tries to weasel out of chores than someone who's too stupid to understand how a dishwasher works.

Weasely behavior can be fixed, but you can't fix stupid. I remember when I started dating my wife back then she was my girlfriend obviously. We lived together in an apartment and I was pretty lazy, you know, I'd been living the bachelor life for a while and we alternated dishes. The dishes would pile up and she would do a load of dishes and then the next load of dishes I would do them. Except me being lazy, I just didn't do them and they piled up and they piled up and they piled up. And my girlfriend was like, um, don't you think you should do the dishes? They're getting pretty piled up. And I was like, it's fine, don't worry about

it. And in my heart of hearts, what I was really hoping is that my girlfriend would just give in and do the dishes herself, but she didn't and they just kept piling up and piling up. And eventually you got so bad, the sink got so filled up with dishes that I, the dishes were stacked up on top of the faucet. So I couldn't even like get to the faucet to clean the dishes that were on top of the faucet. So it got to the point where I had to actually take the dirty dishes into the bathroom

and wash them in the bathtub and then bring them back into the kitchen and put them away. And my wife just sat there and watched me do it, which is deserved, definitely deserved. But it was a lesson that I had to learn. And since then, I never let the dishes get piled up so high. So, yeah, OP, I'm on your side. Sometimes people just get lazy and they need a little smack on the wrist and be like, no, bad. That's a bad partner. No more being lazy. So I'm on your side OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 blood holes.

I'm giving your boyfriend 1.5 out of 5 blood holes. Am I the blood hole for telling my husband that he overreacted over a piece of cake? Hi, so I'm a 24-year-old woman, and my 32-year-old husband and I are expecting our first baby together. I'm 7 months in. My inlaws are lovely people. My mother-in-law had a not-so-major fight with her husband, so she's been staying with us for a few days. Her birthday was yesterday, and because of her emotional and mental state, my husband decided to throw her a surprise party and invite

us siblings. He got everything ready, and I was home alone when the cake arrived from the bakery. To give some info, the cake was big and it had my mother-in-law's favorite flavor, strawberry. I asked my husband for a snack that I was craving really badly, but he didn't get them. To be honest, I got a bit tempted whenever I looked at the cake, and I decided to cut a small piece of it. I didn't think that it was a big deal until my husband saw it and flipped out, asking why I ruined the cake and cut a piece out of it. I said that I was sorry but I was craving something sweet. He said that was supposed to be his

mother's birthday cake and I am bare as Tim by taking a piece of it instead of waiting till the party in just a few hours. I said that he should have been the one to handle it if he didn't think that I was up to the task. But he went off on me saying that he couldn't believe how childish I was was zero impulse control to be blaming him instead of checking myself. This made me upset because there was a ton of other stuff he asked me to do and I did it. He kept arguing with me saying that I had embarrassed him in front of his mother. I looked at him and told him he overreacted over a piece of cake and I asked if a piece of cake was really more important than his own son. And that I'm sure that his mom would understand that I took my piece of cake in advance because

I really couldn't help myself. But he said this wasn't about me, and I have to admit that I just messed up, and I ruined his work, so I went upstairs. I refused to come out of the room to celebrate after he told me to stay there, and I explained to his mom what happened, and she didn't say anything, though I noticed that she was bothered. My husband keeps telling me to apologize, otherwise he won't speak to me or acknowledge my presence in the house. Opie, yeah, you're definitely being the f***ing here, definitely.

And then after you take someone else's cake, to be clear, this isn't your cake, it's not your husband's cake, it's your mother-in-law's cake. And it's her birthday cake, so she should get the first slice. Anyways, after you stole the first slice of birthday cake from your mother-in-law, you had the audacity to try to manipulate your husband by saying that your unborn son wanted a piece of cake. No, no, no. Your unborn son didn't want the cake. You wanted the cake. And you know damn well, OP, that if you got a birthday cake and someone else had cut a slice out of it, you'd be pissed off. You are definitely the butthole here, OP. I'm giving you one butthole for ruining the cake.

I'm giving you another butthole for trying to manipulate your husband. And I'm giving you a third butthole for refusing to apologize. So OP you get 3 out of 5 buttholes. Your husband and your mother-in-law get 0 out of 5 buttholes. That was our Slash of My The Butthole, and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.