rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole for Not Giving My Mother-in-Law a Free House

Episode Date: December 10, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP and her husband buy her mother-in-law a house out of the goodness of their hearts. However, OP keeps her name on the house's lease, because why shouldn't she? She paid for it after all, so it's half hers. Now her husband and her mother-in-law are trying to force her to take her name off the lease, which would effectively mean that OP is just giving her a free house. Is OP the butthole for refusing to play along? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-slash, am I the butthole where OP refuses to pay for someone else's house? Am I the butthole for refusing to take my name off the D to my mother-in-law's home? Me and my partner have been together for 8 years, married for 2 of them. 5 years ago we bought a home together. A small two-bit room unit just to see if we could coexist without killing one another, with the intention of only staying a few years before we got married and then upgrade to something larger. Three years later, we had married and then upgrade to something larger. Three years later, we had enough of a deposit to do just that when my partner's mother

came to us asking for help. She wanted to buy a place, but she didn't have anything in the way of savings. She was tired of renting because it was becoming more and more expensive. We talked about the issue, knowing that if we agreed to help, it meant to laying our own upgrade by a further 3 years at minimum. With some hesitation on our part, we nevertheless did the right thing and helped out as mother by giving her $90,000, the total sum of all of our savings at the time. She bought a place, also with the aid of her other son.

And I want to make this clear, this was a loan, we weren't just giving her the money. Recently, my partner has been talking to me about getting my name taken off the documentation to my mother-in-law's house. That way, it's only in her name and the name of her two sons. I know his mother has been in his year about it because he only ever brings it up after a solo visit to her. For a while, I avoided the conversation, but recently my husband has had an actual conversation with a lawyer to draw a paperwork to have my name legally removed.

When I found out, I told my husband that we need to have a serious talk, and I told him honestly that I would not remove my name from the documentation. Because to date, his mother hasn't paid either of us back a single cent of the $90,000 that we loaned her. This angered my husband, who said that I'd agreed to take my name off the documentation and that's why he spoke to the lawyer in the first place. When I insisted that I never agreed and that I was just protecting us both by insisting our names stay on the documentation, he called me paranoid saying that his mother would

never cheat on us. Now I feel guilty. Am I the butthole for refusing to remove my name from the documentation, seeing as I did help pay for the place that she bought, and without our help, she would still be stuck renting. OP, the one and only reason why she cares so much about getting your name off the documentation is so that she can cheat you. That's literally the only result of getting your name off the documentation. It makes it so that if she wants to cheat you, she can.

So like, why does she care, right? If she doesn't want to cheat you, then why does she care so much about your name being on the documentation? Honestly, there's a simple solution here. I've got no problem taking my name off the documentation. Just pay us back the 90k and I'll sign everything back over to you. I have a sneaking suspicion that she is not going to do that though. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes.

Your husband gets 1 out of 5 buttholes and your mother-in-law gets 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for being really honest with my manager in front of her boss? So I've been a stay at home mom for several years. I worked very hard on our budget, shopping, meal prep, etc. and we were doing fine. We recently became empty nesters. Our youngest moved out, pays her own bills and got a scholarship. I got bored, so I decided to take one of the mini grocery store jobs available at the store across the street.

My intent was to work part time, but they quickly moved me to a different full-time position, which I do like and I'm good at, and it pays quite a bit more. The story short stuffed, and I've been doing my best to help. But recently, my manager sat me down with her boss' witness to have a document in discussion about how I'm not a team player. Because I won't help other departments, even though I'm struggling to get my own stuff done, because my position should have three people, but it's just me. They wanted me to sign a piece of paper acknowledging that my behavior was unacceptable. I told my manager, you need me, I don't need you.

In my previous position in management, I learned that it cost a store an average of $10,000 to hire and train a replacement. I also know that you have a walk-in interviews welcome sign outside every day and you're all stressing about how short staffed you are so you have limited applications. So no, I will not sign this. Feel free to fire me. There are 10 stores within a mile of here that also offer walk-in interviews so no, I won't sign this. You can accept that or replace me, and I really don't care if you mark me as not eligible for rehire. I'll just leave you off my resume and do just fine. I still have a job three days later, and everyone is acting like nothing happened, but

some people are saying that I'm the butthole because management is also struggling because they're short-staffed. So who cares if management is struggling because they're short staffed. So, who cares if management is struggling because they're short staffed? There's a really, really, really easy way to fix that. Just pay more money, that's it, that's all it takes. If they started offering 25 bucks an hour, 40 bucks an hour, 75 bucks an hour, 100 bucks an hour,

I'm pretty sure they would no longer be short staffed. But they won't offer that money because nobody's willing to pay more than minimum wage. Then they could all shocked and upset that no one wants to work there. Why? Why won't you come work for minimum wage? Because it's minimum wage you asshole! That was a bluff tactic OP.

They basically tried to intimidate you into working for free and you called them on their bluff so that's their problem now. OP, you get a rock solid 0 out of 5 buttholes. You're right, they do need you way more than you need them. I'm giving your managers 3 out of 5 buttholes. I am so tired of hearing managers whine and complain about how no one wants to work there, but then they don't pay anything. What do you expect?

Am I the butthole for potentially ruining my classmates' career? I'm a 20-year-old female college student. In my country, a lot of students hunt for internships because it helps in getting a better pay package during placements. I've been casually talking with this guy, R, who's also my classmate. He was all friendly at the beginning, but recently he started flirting. I never once flirted with him, and I always just ignored his moves, but last week he asked me out, and I said no. In fact, I apologized to him

to make him think that somewhere in our conversation I might have let him on. He ghosted me, and I didn't think much of it. But two days later, he texted me again asking me out. I told him that I already said no, to which he replied that he gave me time to asking me out. I told him that I already said no to which he replied that he gave me time to think it over and I should be grateful for it. I'm not gonna lie, I got pissed off and told him to f off. And then he got pissed and called me all the names under the moon and just sluts shame me for it. I blocked him, but then he got all of his friends to cuss me out too. I got super frustrated and called him out on my story along with attaching the screenshot of our chats. Around 300 people saw my story and

one among them is my placement mentor, a fourth year student. I didn't think much of it after making the post because I blocked them all and went about my day. The placement hid saw this kind of behavior as unacceptable and appalling. So he reported this event toward apartment head. Apparently, in my college, this kind of behavior is labeled as harassment, and punishment can lead to suspension. The department head and placement mentor called me into the department's head office to get my statement, and I gave it. I showed them everything. Well, Argotts suspended for three months for his behavior. He was about to get a very good internship at a government company, but since he got suspended, that internship is also gone.

One of our professors loves R, and he called me into his office to go make another statement to the department head that I forgive him, and there's also wrong in my part. Our department head called me R, R's to parents, and our two professors. The department had asked me if I was willing to forgive him, which would get him off the suspension. Some part inside of me wanted to see him suffer, so I told them no. He harassed me, and I won him punished. His mother berated me in front of everyone, saying that I'm the one who let her son on, and I'm doing this purposely because he's my competitor. And that her son is the victim here.

The department had didn't listen to her and gave our his rightful punishment. Well, at least, according to me. Well now, our internship started and a few of my friends said that I took it too far. He just called me names while texting and I got him suspended for that. Some of my other classmates called me a bully and a butthole for ruining his bright future. And the professor called me outside the class today and told me that he's extremely disappointed in me. And that because of girls like me, potential careers of men are ruined. This actually made me cry, and I'm rethinking whether what I did was too extreme.

So Reddit, am I the butthole? Oh P. All you did was post a story saying what this guy did to you. You didn't do anything but say, here, look, this is what this guy did to me, I'm posting it publicly so hopefully he'll stop harassing me. It wasn't like you cleverly pulled strings like some kind of puppet master to get him expelled. No, the placement mentor saw the post, then took it to the department head and the department head made that decision. And the reason why the department head made

that decision is because it's against the college policy. So as far as I'm concerned, this is really straightforward. The college has a policy saying that people who perform X-Crime have Y punishment. This dude performed X-Crime so he got Y punishment. This is really simple. The only thing you did was report him for the crime that he did against you. Also, I'm really curious what country this is because the fact that the fact that this guy got his friends to cuss you out because you wouldn't go out with him feels to me as an American like an elementary school move. If one of my friends, one of my close friends was like, hey, Dabney. So I tried to get this girl to go out with me and she wouldn't go out with me. So here's her phone number. Will you text mean things to her? I'd be like, bro,

what are you talking about? Do you also want me to pull her hair and push her into a mud puddle on the playground? Like how old are we right now? Anyways, I'm curious that this is like part of the culture there because this is just bizarre. And honestly, this whole situation sounds super sexist. You've got a professor who's calling you up, saying that he's disappointed in you for ruining his career. Like, what does this dude talking about? This dude is mega sexist.

Opie, you get zero out of five buttholes. You did nothing wrong. All you did was blow the whistle and you shouldn't punish whistleblowers. I'm giving R3 out of five buttholes and I'm giving the professor also three out of five buttholes. Super unprofessional. Will I be the buttholes and I'm giving the professor also 3 out of 5 buttholes. Super unprofessional. Will I be the butthole for not telling my siblings about their true paternity and taking

everything in my dad's will? I'm 38 and I've been no contact with my dad and two younger siblings for many years. My dad always treated me like garbage because he was convinced that my mom cheated on him because she did a lot. And she trapped him into an awful marriage, and I wasn't biologically his. For my 13th birthday, my dad bought me a paternity test, and even though the test results came back that I am indeed his, he accused me, or my mother of sleeping with the test guy, lol. I've also done an Ancestry DNA test, and I also match with all his relatives,

so I'm pretty sure that, unfortunately, he's my bio dad. I've known for a long time that my younger sister was not my dad's. When I did my Ancestry DNA test, my sister wanted to get one too. My mom freaked out, admitted her in discretion, and begged me to convince my sister that it was a waste of money, and that she could just have a copy of my results. I did, because I thought that I was protecting my sister, and she was going through a rough time at the time. I recently got a notification about an ancestry DNA match. I looked it up, and it looks like my brother's ex-wife got one of the kids for both of my brother's kids. And, lo and behold, my brother's kids only seem to share relatives from my mom's side.

My brother and sister have been really awful to me for years. They made comments about how I owed their dad for him putting a roof over my head as a child. And how dare I accept items from their grandmothers estate. I put up with it for years because they're younger and honestly not that bright. I thought they'd come around eventually. My dad made sure in a drunken fight with my mother to give me a copy of his will, so that I knew that he had put a stipulation in there about his estate being divided among his biological children.

I know that he hasn't changed his will since then because his mental capacity has changed. Will I be the butthole if I don't tell my siblings and just let this play out of the will reading? If I take everything and kick them out of the family home, I would also be setting up funds for my nephews since my loser brother doesn't pay child support. My husband thinks that this is stooping to their level because they both rely on his estate currently for survival. So this will ruin them.

They have no education or way to support themselves currently. But I kinda want to stoop. What's actually happening here? No OP, you are completely in the right. They trash you for being a kid born out of wedlock, which isn't your fault when they themselves are kids born out of wedlock. So OP, I think you're completely justified in taking all the money. Take the money, take the estate, and leave them nothing because they don't

deserve it. I mean, fundamentally, that's how it should be legally, right? Your dad wrote a well and his lawyer has a responsibility to execute that will to the letter. That means you get the estate, you get the money, and your siblings get nothing. And how is it supposed to be your responsibility that your siblings are too stupid or irresponsible to get a job and be independent of your father's estate? They chose to be lazy, do nothing losers who just munch off of their dad, so when daddy's money dries up, that's their problem, not yours. So in this sense, OP, I'm giving you zero out of five but holes. I'm giving your siblings three out of five but holes. I'm giving your mother

and father five out of five but holes. Honestly, OP, it's just so satisfying to think that your douchebag family thinks that they're going to get all the money and you're going to get nothing when actually the opposite is true. Man, I would pay money to see the look on their face when they realize they're getting zero dollars. Whoops, maybe they shouldn't have treated their dear sister like such an outcast this whole time. Am I the butthole? I went with a friend to a restaurant that was originally reserved for me and my wife. Yesterday was my birthday. I'm a 30 year old guy and my wife is 28. We've made reservations at this really nice Korean barbecue restaurant for dinner and my wife is 28. We'd made reservations at this really nice Korean barbecue restaurant

for dinner and my wife is 4 months pregnant. However, my wife's friend wanted to hang out with her and had called her the night before my birthday. My wife said that this was a childhood friend of hers and that she really wanted to spend time with her. I reminded her that it's my birthday, but she just dismissed it, saying my birthday comes every year, but her friend will be leaving for Germany in a few weeks. I told her that she could go hang out with her friend after my birthday dinner as well, but she didn't listen and just went to a sleepover

at her friend's place. I got really mad at her, and instead of waiting for her to return home to talk things out, I asked my friend if he would like to hang out with me. He was fine with it, so we spent the day fishing, grilling, hiking, and we went to the green barbecue place for dinner. When she came home after spending time with her friend, she apologized to me saying that it was an unavoidable circumstance.

I told her it wasn't a problem, and I just spent the day with my best friends. She got mad that I would take him to the restaurant that we had booked for ourselves. I said that it was originally for us, but since she prioritized her friend over me, I took the person who prioritized me on my birthday. She said that I'm controlling and that I shouldn't be deciding who she spends time with. Now she's neither talking to me nor coming out of the room. I think I went too far by telling her

who she should be spending her time with. But OP, you never told her who she should and shouldn't spend time with. You only expected your wife to prioritize you on your own birthday, which anyone would do. You weren't saying no, you can't hang out with your friend, you're just saying no, don't spend time with your friend on my birthday, spend time with me on my birthday. But man, you were even nicer than that because you said that she could go hang out with

her friends after the dinner. And her friend is leaving in like two weeks so she has plenty of time to catch up with her at some later date. Oh P, if you're really buying this, it sounds like you're buying into your wife's emotional manipulation because that is exactly what she's doing. She is absolutely the one in the wrong here. Her own husband has his 30th birthday and actually this is your 30th birthday so this is a major milestone, the big 3-0.

And she's like, oh well, that comes every year. I'm gonna go hang out with my friend. And then when you hang out with your friend, she gets upset at you. This- okay OP. Your wife's got issues. OP, you're not the one being controlling. She's the one being controlling. Like not only did she abandon you, but when you made plans of your own,

she got upset at you for making plans like what does that have to do with her at that point? Wow, man, the more I think about it, this is just red flags stacking on top of red flags. She ignored you on your birthday. She got mad at you for how you spent time after she abandoned you. Then she excused her behavior by saying it wasn't a problem.

Then she got mad at you for getting upset and is trying to turn this back on, okay, OP, this is, yeah, this is really messed up behavior. She is like straight up emotionally manipulating you. She doesn't care about you, she cares about her friend, she doesn't want to spend time with you because any person who cares about another person would want to spend time with him on their birthday.

That's just kind kinda how birthdays are. Anyways OP, happy birthday, you definitely deserve better than what your wife is giving you. I really don't understand what she expected you to do there. Just sit at home, buy yourself, and cry about how your wife left you, and then when she got back you'd be so grateful that she returned. OP, your wife is not only the butthole in this situation, but she's just a bad person in general.

I'm giving your wife 3 out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. And while you're at it OP, I'd be looking at a paternity test. Alright, hold on, hold on. Hold on a second. We've got a 28 year old woman having a sleepover party. And yeah, okay, they happen sometimes. I mean, it's not like out of the question, but a 28 year old woman going to sleepover at her friends place. This is an old childhood friend that, I don't know, maybe OP's met her before, maybe not. This is

a little bit fishy, OP. In fact, this is a lot fishy. You've got the obvious red flag of a pregnant wife who would rather spend time with a friend than with her own husband on his birthday. Presumably the father for a child on her birthday, and she's gonna go have a sleepover with this mystery friend without OP. I would, yeah, OP, I'd be looking at a paternity test, for sure.

For sure. I hate to accuse someone of this because I don't really have the evidence to accuse it, but I don't know, man, I'm 28 year old having a sleepover. Sure. I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.