rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Not Giving My Toy to an Entitled Kid?

Episode Date: January 12, 2022

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP gets a visit from his brother and his family. Unfortunately, OP's nephew is a spoiled little brat who throws temper tantrums if he doesn't get what he wants. The nephew wants to steal a toy that belongs to OP's 2-year-old son, but OP refuses. This sparks a temper tantrum, and OP's brother tries to scold OP for ruining the trip by not preventing the temper tantrum. OP doesn't understand why he has to give up his own son's toys just to make his nephew happy. Is OP the butthole in this situation? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to our slash, Am I the Butthole, where OP refuses to give in to an entitled kid? Am I the Butthole for not giving one of my son's toys to my nephew, causing him to have an hours-long tantrum? We hosted Thanksgiving at my place. My brother, his wife, and their almost four-year-old son were among the guests. As people were leaving, my brother asked if my nephew could take home one of my two-year-old son's toy trucks. My nephew had been playing with it non-stop since they arrived and wanted to keep it. My brother said that he would replace the toy if I told him where I got it. I told my brother I'd be happy to give him a link to the store where I bought it, but I wouldn't give him the toy then and there.

I refused for two reasons. Firstly, my brother and my sister-in-law have a terrible habit of giving my nephew everything that he asks for. He is way too old for that. Secondly, I don't want to reinforce in my nephew that it's okay to just take things that he wants. My brother said that my nephew would throw a tantrum if he didn't get the toy then and there, and that everything would be easier if I just let him take the toy and get center

replacement in the mail. I told my brother that I would not be an enabler for my nephew's bad behavior and that it's my brother and my sister-in-law's problem if he throws a tantrum. Of course, the inevitable happens. My nephew started squeaking and consolibly at the top of his lungs and my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew had to leave.

Later that evening, I got an angry text from my brother saying that my nephew screamed his head off for the entire 3 hour car ride home, and he only stopped screaming after he literally passed out from exhaustion. He said the tantrum was my fault since it could have been completely avoided if I had just given my nephew the toy, and he accused me of backseat parenting since in his words it's not my place to set an example for his son. My wife thinks that we should have just handed the toy over to make things easier, especially since our son has tons of toys, and he wouldn't have noticed it missing for just a couple of days.

I still maintain that it's well within my rights to set an example for my nephew, even if it goes against my brother and my sister-in-law's parenting style of coddling their son, and that the tantrum is 100% to result of their terrible parenting habits. Okay OP, so your brother and sister-in-law have a right to raise their kid however they want to. However, just because they have a right to coddle their kid doesn't mean that you also have to coddle their kid. They came to your house and expected you to give them one of your child's toys.

It's like, excuse me. For some reason, OP, you didn't even address the fact that this is your son's toy. They can't just come to your house and expect to take your son's toys away because their son wants it like what? In the same way that they have a right to raise a kid the way they want to, you have a right to say what happens with your property. And if you don't want to give them your property, then tough luck. They're just going to have to deal with the consequences of having a spoiled tantrum throwing kid who always wants to get what he wants.

Also, down in the comments, I have to read this post from Ratkin. How can you backseat parent if there are no front seat parents? Yeah, I agree. OP, you're not the butthole here. I'm giving you zero out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your brother and sister-in-law 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for not warning my cousins that my fiancee could understand them when they were speaking about him in a different language? My fiancee comes from a very mixed background and speaks a lot of languages. His great-grandmother comes from the same country as my grandparents, so he speaks Urdu too. A lot of people assume that he's just white though, and just by looking at him,

you wouldn't guess that he has Pakistani ancestry. Three of my cousins met him for the very first time on Saturday. In front of him, they switched to Urdu, and were asking me questions about him, including, where did I find this hot white man? I told them to stop, and they did, and they switched back to English. My mom called me to help her set the table for dinner, so I left them alone with my fiance. While I was gone, they switched back to Urdu, and they were making inappropriate comments about my fiance. My fiance said that he found it funny, and when they were wondering if they should ask

him if he was any good and bad, he said, I don't know, and Urdu, and they freaked out. They ended up leaving before dinner because they were so mortified. And then today, they called me to yell at me for not telling them and claimed they were only joking around. And they never would have said any of those things that they knew that he understood. They did apologize to my fiance, but they still blame me for not warning them since they had no way of knowing that he would understand them, and I knew they liked to make dumb jokes. Am I the butthole? This is like a thief getting mad at a store owner

for the store owner not warning the thief when they entered the store that they had cameras. So when the thief steal something and the cameras catch it, they're like, how come you didn't warn me about the cameras? You know how much I like to steal, and if I had known the cameras are there, I wouldn't have stolen anything. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your cousins two out of five buttholes. Maybe they should stop making racist assumptions. Am I the butthole for calling a woman in the supermarket a creep? Today, I took my three-month-old twin to the supermarket by myself while my wife had a day to herself. She stayed at home, and I've been working a lot more due to the holidays.

While I was shopping, my daughter pooped, and I mean she pooped. There's no changing tables in the men's room, and there was no family bathroom. I went to the Starbucks in the store store and I asked if I could change her on one of the tables in the back. I have a blanket and a changing pad in my bag, so her butt wouldn't be on the bare table. The barista said yes, so I got to business. An older woman, probably late 40s or early 50s,

came up to me and started talking to my son who I had strapped to my back. He's cute, so I didn't pay any mind. She then started telling me that I had to make sure to wipe her little cookie, referring to her privates. I told her that I am well aware of how to change a diaper, and she continued to critique my wiping style. And eventually, when I went to change her clothes due to the baby poop blow out, and while I was putting her dirty clothes in a waist bag, the woman goes to put her clothes on my baby.

I snatched my daughter up off the table and told the woman, I don't need someone else dressing my baby, go away you creep! The woman looked flabbergasted and then started crying, saying she was only trying to help. Pretty much everyone in the surrounding area told me that that was an overreaction and she was only trying to help me. I feel bad for snapping at her. My wife told me not to because she would have done the same thing, but I feel like a douchebag. Am I the butthole? Uhhh...

What? What? This lady thought it was okay to come up to some complete stranger's baby, start commenting on the baby's genitals, and then start trying to dress this stranger's baby. Like, what? What? I feel like this probably isn't a crime, but I feel like it should be a crime, because people shouldn't be able to come up to some three month old baby and start picking it up and

touching it without at minimum getting permission. Like right, can we all agree to not touch someone else's newborn infant without first asking, hey, can I touch your baby? Is that too much to ask? Also down in the comments, I'm going to read this post from Germic W. Not the butthole. If you were to reverse the gender roles, you probably would have walked out of there in handcuffs.

Yeah, and honestly OP, she was creepy. She just was creepy. You can't come up to Strange People's Bapies and start talking about how to care for their genitals. Also, let's throw sexist onto the pile because she was just assuming that since you're a guy, you have no idea how to care for a baby. And that's just not true in 2021 anymore. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. the woman gets 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for insulting my 35 year old sister after she photoshopped my 14 year old daughter's pictures? I'm a 37 year old woman and I have a little sister named Valerie and a wonderful daughter named Lucy. As Lucy has entered her teen years, she's become

a lot more self-conscious. She constantly compares herself to friends at school, celebrities, etc. I currently have her attending therapy, and I also try my best to remind her that she's beautiful just the way she is. My sister Valerie took her daughter and Lucy to the mall yesterday. When Lucy got back home, I asked her how her day went. She smiled and said that she had a good time. About three hours later, I went into Lucy's room to put some of her clothes away. When I opened the door, I saw Lucy laying in her bed, crying. I asked her what happened, and she pulled out her phone

and showed me some pictures that Valerie had posted on social media. Valerie had posted pictures of herself, her daughter, and Lucy hanging out at the mall. Lucy then pointed out that Valerie had obviously Photoshopped her. Valerie had made Lucy's complexion clearer, her teeth wider, and even slimmed in her waist. Lucy also pointed out that Valerie only Photoshopped her in the pictures. Lucy dropped her phone on the

ground and cried her eyes out. Eventually, Lucy told me that she just wanted to be alone for a while. I left and went outside because I was just ready to unleash on Valerie. I called her and demanded to know why she would alter Lucy's image. She got defensive and said, last time I checked, I could post whatever I want on my account. I told her about how crushed Lucy was when she saw the pictures. Valerie doubled down and told me that she was simply making Lucy look better. I told her that Lucy is fine just the way she is, and I don't appreciate her destroying Lucy's confidence.

We kept yelling at each other, and things continued to escalate. Valery yelled that she doesn't want her daughter around Lucy because I'm a drama queen. I yelled back, good, I don't want my daughter to be around a dollar store Instagram slut anyway. She told me to go f myself, hung up on me and blocked me everywhere. I haven't mentioned this conversation to Lucy because she's stressed out enough already. My husband says that I went too far and that I should have been more mature since I'm the big sister.

Am I the butthole? Okay, giving a child body image issues isn't making her look better, it's child abuse essentially. And on top of that, just ignoring the fact that she has no business actually photoshopping your daughter, it's just plain rude, right? It's really weird and rude to only photoshop one person, but not photoshop anyone else in the photo. And like on top of that, I actually don't think that she can post whatever she wants in her Instagram account.

If your daughter is a minor and your sister is posting photos of your daughter without your daughter's consent, I'm like 99% certain that you can report those photos to Instagram and Instagram will instantly take those down. Besides OP, if your sister is totally okay with posting photoshopped images, then just photoshop her face. Right? Make her look however you want. Make her complexion worse, make her look fatter, make her teeth look worse.

I mean, if it's fair for her to do it, then it's fair for you to do it, right? Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your sister two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my sister that she would have been a terrible mother? I'm a 17 year old guy, and I have two sisters, Alice, who's 29 and Miranda,

who's 33. I am much closer to Alice than I am to Miranda. Miranda also isn't on good terms with our parents. Alice has four kids and she's currently expecting child number five while Miranda can have children which are ex divorced her four. Miranda is very successful in life. She has a nice apartment, works a good job and earns a decent amount of money. Alice, on the other hand, is struggling financially. She had her first kid right out of high school, and got pregnant with her second child soon after, so she decided to become a stay-at-home mom to her kids while her boyfriend provides for them. Me and my parents try to help Alice out as much as possible, be it child care or money, whatever she needs. I love my nieces and nephews. I take them to the park to play with the older ones.

I really enjoy it. Miranda doesn't help out with them. She says it's because she's too busy. Well, she works long hours, but she doesn't have kids, so I don't know what she does on the weekends. She also doesn't help out financially, which I find unfair, since she makes so much money and all she does is spend it on herself. Although she does give us very nice gifts for Christmas and birthdays.

My parents nag her about it, saying she should give some of her money to Alice every month, and I agree with that. So here comes the part where I may have been a butthole. I was at Miranda's place last week. She had baked muffins and invited me over to eat some and catch up. We got on the topic of Christmas presents and I told her some of the stuff I wanted. She nodded and said she would give our parents a coupon for a much needed vacation and Alice some clothes she had mentioned and also some new boots and jackets for her kids.

I was a little stunned that she didn't give more gifts for Alice so I asked why'd you only get Alice the bare minimum. You can afford to help out more, but you refused to out of spite. Miranda looked at me and laughed. She said it wasn't her business to feed six people, that Alice was old enough to make her choices and live with the consequences. Alice knew what she was getting herself into, and she wouldn't pay Alice's way through life just because she kept having kids that she couldn't afford. I was stunned at how cold Miranda was. I asked her how she could live her life being so selfish and uncaring, and she got angry and told me, listen kid, there are some things that you're way too young to be discussing with me, and this is one of those. Drop the subject or get out.

I got really frustrated with her and said something that I probably shouldn't have. I told her, no wonder your husband divorced you, even if you could have kids you would be a terrible mother. Miranda got very quiet and told me to leave and never come back. She's now blocked me on everything and though I don't agree with her not helping out, I'm starting to feel guilty for what I said. So am I the butthole? OP. Okay. oh my god.

OP, your sister invited you over to her house to just be friendly and catch up. She baked muffins for you. You told her what gifts you wanted and she said sure I'll get you that gift. Then just because she doesn't wanna siphon her money over to her sister, you get mad at her and you in one sentence,

you question her as a mother and you, in one sentence, you question her as a mother and you make fun of her, what's the term? Disability, I guess, because she can't have kids? I don't know if disability is the right term. Forgive me on this one, I'm not trying to be insensitive, I'm just not sure what the term would be for the fact that she can't have kids. Well, in any event, you're also making fun of the fact that she can't have kids, which is something that's completely out of her control. So you called her a bad wife, a bad mother, and you mocked the fact that she can't have kids which isn't her fault.

OP, I don't blame you in the slightest for her kicking you out. Oh right, and I also forgot the fact that you are questioning how she spends her money that she earned. Miranda works for her money so she has every right to decide what she does and doesn't buy. And Miranda's sister Alice isn't her responsibility, just because Alice makes decisions that puts her in a bad financial situation, it's not Miranda's responsibility to bail her sister out. OP, you're like so categorically wrong on every level that I don't even understand what made you think, I'm gonna go to Reddit and make this post and hopefully people will tell me that I was

completely justified. OP Miranda gets 0 out of 5 buttholes. She is doing absolutely nothing wrong here. OP I'm giving you 3 out of 5 buttholes for being a judgemental douchebag. I'm also giving your parents, let's say 2 out of 5 buttholes because they're treating their own kids unfairly by expecting Miranda to bail out Alice. Alice, I don't know if I can really give her any buttholes scores because... Yeah, she's like making poor financial decisions, but it's okay, like that's fine.

People can make poor financial decisions. If they want to have kids and struggle with money, then that's their choice. So I think I have to give Alice like not applicable out of five buttholes because there's really no way to determine if what she's doing in this story is butthole behavior or not butthole behavior. Alice's decision to spend all of her money on kids is just as valid as Miranda's decision to spend basically none of her money on kids. Am I the butthole for putting up my Christmas lights early, even though the HOA that I'm not a part of says that it violates the rules and upsets the people in the H-Away. I've had a previous experience with this group, as I live in a neighborhood that has an H-Away, but I was there before the rest of the houses were built and before they formed this group.

I am not a member of their H-Away in any way, and that's been verified by a real real estate attorney. So anyway, apparently they have this rule over how many lights you can put up, and what's their earliest date you can put them up. The woman who I deal with the most when I upset them came by on November 30th and told me that my lights were against policy, and that I wasn't allowed to have as many lights up as I do. I told her we've been over this before, and that I'm in no way beholden to their policies and I just don't care.

I told her out of respect for the people in the neighborhood that I do like, I'm not gonna go full-clark Griswold on my house, but that my niece's and nephews love lights, so I was gonna be putting up a fair amount. I also told her that I didn't care about the rules that the lights could only be on during certain hours, and that once putting them up on the 30th, I would likely turn them on and leave them until Christmas. She told me that breaking the rules upsets other members, and that I should respect the rules even if I don't follow them because I technically live in the neighborhood.

She offered me a flyer which apparently had the rules for lights. I tossed it in the trash and told her to get off my property. I probably could have entertained some of what she asked, but I've just had enough of them. Man, if there's one thing that being R-slash and having this YouTube channel has taught me, it's to never ever cut down someone else's tree. But if there's a second thing that I've learned on this channel, it's never buy a house in an HOA. God, it seems miserable.

And like, what she's trying to legislate here isn't something wrong. It's not like you left your trash cans out for way too long or you're letting your lawn get really overgrown and horrible looking. You're putting up Christmas lights, man. Christmas lights are pretty. She's, why is she being such a grinch about it?

Opie, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving the Karen 2 out of 5 buttholes for being a Karen. That was our slash of my the butthole, and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.