rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole for Quitting and Making My Toxic Manager Cry?

Episode Date: December 12, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole When are employers going to learn that they have to treat their employees with respect? One manager learns that lesson the hard way when she gave away OP's private information to a stranger, and then acted like it was no big deal. OP quit on the spot, which caused her manager to have a breakdown because the store is already understaffed. Here's an idea: if you're having trouble finding employees, maybe you could try paying your employees more 🤷 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to our slash, Am I the butthole, where someone steals money from a dying child? Am I the butthole for supporting my ex-husband to sue my current husband for using my son's emergency fund money for his golfing trip? I'm a 35 year old woman, and my 13 year old son passed away from cancer three months ago. It was so devastating to me and his dad, my ex-husband. As a result, I've been experiencing a lot of grief these past three months. We were left with an emergency fund that my ex-husband and I saved for our son. And I recently discovered that my current husband, who's 34, used it to go on a golfing trip in another country that he just returned from. I found out by a checking financial records records and I blew up at him and asked

why he used my son's money to go on a trip while I was grieving. He said that he needed support to and to lift some weight off his chest after I kept pushing him to the side and ignoring him. But he said that I was still grieving and I needed space. But he wasn't the one who lost a child. Despite the fact that he was a stepfather to my son, my husband made it clear that he never felt any connection to my son. And he basically blamed my son's medical condition for not having a chance to bond with him.

We had a huge argument and my ex-husband heard and was so mad. He confronted my husband, calling him an unhinged opportunist and said that he was going to sue him for taking the money after accessing it through me. I told my ex-husband to go ahead and sue, and my husband was shocked that I agreed and condoned this mistreatment from my ex-husband towards him. He asked me to tell my ex-husband to step back, but I said no. He lashed out, saying that he also was grieving, and that my ex and I are ganging up on him with complete disregard for his overwhelming grief and sorrow. We haven't spoken since that argument, and things kept getting worse with him texting

about how I should stand with him as my husband, instead of encouraging my ex to take his anger out on him like that. Okay. Okay. Okay. So, on our slash, Am I the butthole, people tend to be really extreme down in the comments. Like, Am I the butthole? My boyfriend ate my cereal that I poured,

and now I'm really mad at him, and I called him a butthole, and now he thinks that I'm the butthole for overreacting. Am I the butthole? And then people down in the comments will be like, Oh, you poured the cereal, and he ate your cereal. That is so rude. You should dump him and throw him out and blah, blah, blah.

And people just tend to overreact. So I'm aware that that's like the norm on R slash am I the butthole. But I want to clarify, there are still situations that completely justify divorce on this subreddit. And this post is exactly one such scenario. Your husband stole your sick, dead, child's money. Oh my God, that sentence. Let me try that again. Your husband stole your sick, dead, child's

money so that he could go on a golfing trip while you were grieving the loss of your child. Oh my god. Opie, if that doesn't justify a divorce, what does? Seriously, what does? And on top of that, your ex-husband should sue him, because it wasn't your husband's money, it was your money and your ex-husband's money. So literally, like not even an exaggeration, your husband literally stole money from your ex-husband, so he has every right to try to sue for it. I'm not even going to get into the whole

conversation about how monstrous what your husband did here because I think we can all agree that stealing a dead sick child's money is crossing a line or two. Man, it's just so weird. Why did it have to be a golfing trip in another country? He can't go on a golfing trip in his own country and save a little bit of money. Your husband is such a scumbag OP that it makes me wonder if he's really going on a golfing trip in another country. I have absolutely zero evidence and I don't like to speculate when I don't have evidence on these stories, but he's just such a scumbag. I have to assume that there's some other like nefarious thing going on when he's leaving the country.

Right, am I the only one who thinks that? Probably not, right? Anyways, hope he, this is the easiest zero out of five buttles I've ever given. Your husband gets five out of five buttles. God, hope he, please, please divorce this guy. He is. Not only did he steal this money and leave you in your time of need, but then he's trying

to manipulate you and turn your own grief against you by saying, but I'm grieving too, even though that when your son was around I didn't really care about him, but now that he's dead I'm so so sad. Oh P, for real, your husband gets 5 out of 5 buttholes. Do you really want to be married to someone who has 5 buttholes? Oh, and I feel like I should apologize for laughing in the commentary of this, because I realize this is really dark and heavy, and O.P. I really, I feel for your loss. That must be an unimaginable amount of pain. It's just what this guy did was so absurd. It's so nuts that it like crosses over into the realm of unbelievable surreal

absurdity and I just can't help but laugh like what makes this guy think oh my wife lost her only child. Welp, guess I'll steal her money and go on a golfing trip. Do do do do. Am I the butthole for quitting on the spot, even though we were understaffed and it made my manager cry? I worked at a retail store in the mall. The store is divided into men's, women's, and children's clothes. I always worked the women's section, and on the weekends, I was always the only employee in that entire section. Yesterday, myself and two other employees clocked into our shifts. My manager, Lisa, pulled me aside and told me, your dad called the store five times asking for your schedule,

please tell him to stop. I got extremely confused because that didn't sound like something my dad would do. I even texted my dad and he said that he never called the store once. I had a bad feeling and I asked Lisa if she gave this guy claiming to be my dad my schedule and she said that she did. I then told her that wasn't my dad and she had no right telling a strange man my schedule and she said that she did. I then told her that wasn't my dad and she had no right telling a strange man my schedule. She got annoyed and told me that it wasn't a big deal and that I was being dramatic. I then quit on the spot, which only left her and two other employees to watch the entire store. She kept apologizing and even burst into tears because they were understaffed. Am I the blood hole? No.

Oh my god, OP, no. This woman's giving out your personal information about where you're going to be and when to just random men who call into the store like, how is that possibly a good idea? Even if it was your dad, he has no information getting that information from her. It's your schedule, not your dad's schedule or anyone else's schedule. So no OP, you did nothing wrong here. In fact, you should have quit. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your manager 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for giving my sister-in-law baby formula? I'm gonna

start my post by saying that I don't have kids, and I have no experience with babies or motherhood or children. I'm 18, and beyond being around babies in a group setting where at least one of the parents and a ton of other people are around, that's it. My brother's wife had a baby 17 days ago. I didn't go visit them yet, but my brother and sister-in-law sent me some pictures. My brother said our cousin Rachel was around a lot

because my sister-in-law is having trouble breastfeeding and Rachel is a big believer in breastfeeding and is helping her. I offered to help them if needed and on Saturday they asked me to go to the grocery store for them because no home delivery had an open spot. When I dropped off the food, I was shocked at how bad my sister-in-law looked. She literally looked like the walking did. She was barely awake, she hadn't showered, and she was actually crying because she was so frustrated. It actually scared me how bad she looked. At first, I didn't want to butt in, but it bothered me so much I went back to the store and got a

can of baby formula. I figured it would get my sister-in-law a break and my niece could eat. It was even worse when I gave it to my sister-in-law because I said it was no big deal if my niece got formula, it wasn't a problem. My sister-in-law broke down and I was honestly scared because she was weeping, like in the movies when someone dies kind of weeping. No one told her that it was okay not to breastfeed. She felt so guilty because of Rachel budding in and no one telling her that formula was okay not to breastfeed. She felt so guilty because of Rachel budding in, and no one telling her that formula was okay. I actually ripped my brother a new one because he just sat back while my sister-in-law suffered. There was no way that he didn't see how bad she looked, no offense, but she looked terrible. I got my sister-in-law to shower after my knees ate and fell asleep,

and I changed the sheets on the bed and told my sister-in-law to sleep while my niece slept, and I said that I would get more baby formula. I thought I did the right thing, because my sister-in-law actually stopped crying. She showered and slept for the next three days, so she looked a lot better and didn't cry again. Also, my niece got a full meal. My idiot brother smartened up and told Rachel and everyone else to stay away. He took turns in feeding the babies so they could both get some sleep.

My parents and Rachel are furious at me. My sister-in-law sister was in agreement with Rachel and left me an angry voicemail full of swearing. Rachel basically had my sister-in-law holding the baby while topless 24-7 and my stupid brother sat there and didn't help with the baby at all. Rachel breastfed all of her kids until they could walk and talk and never had any problems, but my sister and law obviously did.

My dad said that I overstepped and I shouldn't have butted in. Normally, I'm big on mind your own business, but this time I was scared shitless after seeing my sister and law on Saturday. Since I'm not a mother or a baby expert, I have no idea what it's like with a newborn. I'm second-guessing now after feeling like I did the right thing, because everyone is angry with me and say that I should mine my own business. So these people want you to mine your own business, but they don't have to mind their own business.

It's okay for them to stick their noses in your sister-in-law's business and tell her what she has to do with her own body. Nah, OP, this is just good old-fashioned hypocrisy. It's one of those rules for the, not for me type of situation. Also, OP, making sure that a newborn baby gets a bottle and actually gets a full belly full of milk is a really, really big deal.

I mean, it sounds like a no-braer, like babies need to eat, obviously, but if you can't get a baby to drink milk, you have to actually go to the hospital where they will insert a feeding tube into a newborn baby. And if you go to the hospital and they put a baby on a feeding tube, you know what they feed the baby formula. So at the end of the day, what you feed the baby is way, way less important than the fact that you actually do feed the baby in the first place.

And if the mother can't produce milk for whatever reason, then you have to go to formula because there's just no other alternative. Unless you just want your baby to starve to death, I guess, which I would have to imagine the mother doesn't actually want. So OP, you're completely in the right here. Rachel is being a busybody who thinks that she knows best because press feeding is natural. Blah blah blah. Nah, whatever man, I'm not buying it. She should take her own advice and mind-drone business. You get zero out of five buttholes.

Rachel gets two out of five buttholes, and everyone who's complaining about you also gets two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for showing the husband that his mom sent me and causing his mom to be disowned? To start, me and my mother-in-law have never gotten along. She hates my guts, and she can often be oversensitive. I tried not to give her the wrong impression about me, but we just don't like each other. Sunday, I was feeling sick. I'm a new mom by the way, and I couldn't

eat what you cooked for dinner, and she seemed to take it personal. She sent me a private message of what seemed to be her final straw with my behavior, and it started as follows. This is a direct copy and paste of the text. Oh yes, I know and feel your passive aggressive vibe. You keep pretending to be sick, so you won't have to eat what I cook, what? You think my cooking is disgusting? That I'm unhygienic? When was the last time that you actually looked at yourself in the mirror? Apologies, I forgot that you're a new mom and you can't even be bothered to get your hair brushed. You finally trapped our son and now you want to use the baby as a pawn. I don't like the fact that you're my grandchild's mother. I don't ever think I'll come to terms with it because you bore

him, but I'll pretend. Pretend I don't know that my son's been having chats with his ex every chance he gets. That you're mean to his mommy, me. And you'll see how far that gets you. Oh, and when I watch your shit beast dog, it stays changed to a garage day and night until half an hour before you arrive. It stinks up my house, you know, the same with your hair and clothes. Her message blew my mind, and my gut reaction was to immediately go to my husband and show him what his mom sent, and he did not take it well. He tried calling her, but she didn't respond.

It was 11 p.m. and he decided to drive to his parents house and pick a fight with her about the text. According to my sister-in-law who witnessed it, he yelled at his mother, berated her, called her names, and then disowned her, which shocked everyone in the house. My mother-in-law is diabetic, she fainted on the spot, and my husband didn't stop, he just walked out of there while his family was yelling at him. I got several calls and texts from them, claiming that I just caused irreparable damage in my husband's relationship with his mother, that I jeopardized her health because she was taken to the hospital. And worst of all, I made my husband disown her over what? A dinner that I could have eaten a few bites of?

A simple misunderstanding? They accused me of starting this and turning my husband against his own mother to disown her like that. Another sister-in-law berated me for sharing the text with my husband, saying that I should have confronted my mother-in-law alone instead of escalating the situation. She said that I'm responsible for whatever happens next, and I have to fix the problem that I created. I feel awful overall and so guilty since she's at the hospital and the family's all feeling tense. My husband is avoiding me. Am I the butthole?

OP, you're the victim here. You're the one who was being abused, and then when you said, hey, this person is abusing me, look at the proof of the abuse, you're at fault? Not the abuser? What? Also, how are you responsible for what your husband did? It was his decision to drive to the mom's place, his decision to yell at her, his decision to disown her, so like, that's on him, not on you, and honestly, I don't blame him. If my mom sent my wife a text message like that, then honestly, I don't know him. If my mom sent my wife a text message like that, then honestly, I don't know if I could ever forgive her. Anyways OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your mother-in-law four out of five buttholes. I think I'm gonna give your husband zero out of five buttholes

because he should and he did stick up for you. I'm not really sure what's up with him avoiding you. I guess he's probably just stressed out about disowning his mother, which is a pretty major event for anyone, so sounds like he's taking some time to himself. It's also possible that he's like blaming you, and that's why he's, um, that's why he's avoiding you. But it's hard to tell from this post, so I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and say zero out of five buttholes for him. Also Also one thing that's super clear to me in this story is the fact that your mother-in-law is diabetic has no bearing whatsoever on who's right and who's wrong. It sucks that she's diabetic and that she fainted, but so diabetic people can still

be buttholes, diabetic people can still be wrong, diabetic people should still be held accountable for their own actions. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.