rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Refusing To Give My Half-Brother My Inheritance?

Episode Date: May 17, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP discovers that his grandfather may have cheated on his grandmother, resulting in a half-brother. After the grandfather dies and leaves OP a considerable estate, the half-brother shows up and asks for a DNA test because he wants to know who his father really is. OP refuses because he doesn't want to share his inheritance with this total stranger. Does that make him the butthole? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Today's subreddit is R-Slash and my The Butthole, where OP has to fight to protect his $500,000 inheritance. Am I the Butthole for refusing to take a DNA test to keep inheritance? I'm a 25 year old guy, and I'm having a clash of morals and obligations, and I would like the outside perspective. When I was 13, my parents died, and I was raised by my paternal grandparents. That was the easiest choice since they lived in the same area when my parents were alive, and I visited them frequently. I'm my grandparents only gran kid, because my aunt, who's 43, is child free. So when my grandparents passed on, they left me their house.

The current total value of the house is around $500,000 and that's low-balling the estimate and it's fully paid off. So I basically have a really good head start in life, although I could never imagine selling it. Recently, I was approached by this 38 year old guy, John, who claimed to be my grandfather's son, and he would like a DNA test to verify it. I was shocked and I couldn't believe him,

and I told him to f off because that would mean that my grandfather cheated on my grandmother. He also contacted my aunt, and she recognized him as a neighbor's kid who moved away years ago. Apparently, my grandparents were friends with his parents, but then one day there was a huge fight and the couple moved away years ago. Apparently, my grandparents were friends with his parents, but then one day there was a huge fight and the couple moved away. John stated that his mom had an affair

with my grandfather, and when the husband found out, he divorced his mom and they were forced to sell the house. John said that his mom's husband wanted nothing to do with him, since he wasn't sure if he was a father and abandoned him. Years later, John tracked him down, and after a DNA test had confirmed that he wasn't the father, John's mom confessed that the only other possible candidate was my grandfather. John's mom had insisted that her ex was the father for years. John has been asking me to do a DNA test so that he can finally know for sure who his father is. I was willing to do it until my girlfriend brought up the issue of ownership of the house.

I did a quick check, and if the DNA test proves that John is indeed my grandfather's son, then he might be able to sue for a share of the estate. If it came down to it, I would be forced to sell my home because there's no way that I could buy out even one-third of the share of John wanted it. I contacted John and said that I would be more than willing to do a DNA test, but only under the condition that he signed away and he writes or claims of the house if he's proven to be my grandfather's son. This would be done by a paperwork that my lawyers would draw up. I didn't hear from John for days, but then I got an angry call from a woman claiming to be his wife who called me greedy and selfish.

That I couldn't possibly know the pain of not knowing who my father is and that my grandfather owes John. I hung up on her and contacted a lawyer, so unless John can present enough evidence to create doubt, he doesn't have much of a case. Especially since the possible father is already deceased. While I'm content with never giving John what he wants until he waves his rights and my aunt won't either, his wife has begun stalking me on social media and putting me on blast. Am I the butthole? Wow, okay, so going down in these comments, everyone is saying that OP is not the butthole. But personally, I disagree with

this one. Now, don't get me wrong, it's definitely in your best interest to completely shut down John because if you indulge him, then there's a decent chance that you'll lose half of your estate to him. That being said, just because it is in your best interest to shut down John, that doesn't mean that it's not the butthole thing to do. As a matter of fact, I think that, yes, John does have a right to know who his father is. Unfortunately, for UOP, if he does find out that you're related, then that might give him a claim to your estate.

Like that sucks, that's a really sucky consequence for you. But so what? If you're only looking at this from like a practical standpoint, then yeah, that's awful and you should never let that happen. But if you're looking at this from a moral standpoint, then yeah, that is awful. First off, not only does John have an absolute right to know who his father is, but if he is related to your grandfather, then yeah, morally he may have a claim to your estate. I mean, let's not forget that John is a victim here too.

If your grandfather really is his father, then that means that his father completely abandoned him. Also, it means that his mother lied to him for his entire life. Like here's the really weird thing about this story. OP is writing this story saying, what do I do? And everyone is saying,

OP you're not the butthole, lawyer up, shut down John entirely. However, if John had written this exact same post and was like, hey, so my mom cheated and I think that this other guy is my actual father and I think that I have acclaimed his inheritance because I got totally screwed. Would I be the butthole for asking to get a DNA test? I'm pretty sure that everyone in the comments would be like,

no, absolutely you're not the butthole, you have a right to know who your father is and you have a right to the estate. OP, I don't blame you. If I were in your shoes I might do the same thing. It'd be tough, it would make me feel guilty, but 500k has a lot of money. So I think that my final assessment OP is I have to give you three out of five buttholes. Denying someone the rights know who their true family is and denying their inheritance is a butthole move. It is selfish. At the end of the day, it just is. I think I have to give John one out of five buttholes. If he were just like purely good nature, then he would only want the DNA test and he would be willing to sign away the rights of the estate. However,

like I can't really blame him because if your grandfather is the father, then he does have a claim to the estate, right? He just does. So sorry OP, I think you gotta do what's best for you, but still, that's gonna make you the butthole in this situation. Actually, after looking down through the comments, I'm gonna read this post from religiously de-caf. I'm sympathetic to you, but I think that you're not the butthole. Also, John is not the butthole for asking. You are not the butthole for trying to protect your assets from a potentially protracted

and expensive legal battle over a sucky thing that a dead person did almost 40 years ago. Lack of butthole reicide, legally, John probably does have a claim which royally sucks for you. But ultimately, the fault is with your grandfather who cheated and did not have his will written to protect his intended heirs. Not the guy who was abandoned by both his biological father and the man that he believed was his real father.

Yeah, I do understand where this poster is coming from. OP, you do absolutely have a right to protect your assets. And it's not like this is your fault, it is your grandfather's fault after all. But still, I don't know, I just kind of feel for John in this situation. He's the real victim. He has no father, a lying family, and no inheritance, and he's done nothing wrong. I don't know, I'm sticking with my rating. OP 3 out of 5 buttholes.

John 1 out of 5 buttholes. So I don't know, did I get this one wrong? The story feels really complicated. What do you think? Please let me know down in the comments because I'm really curious. Holt Renfrew is sharing joy for the holidays with gifts for everyone on your list, and maybe even a special treat for yourself, too. Discover the new collection for Burberry by Daniel Lee. Add some ambiance with Louis V. Home. Give Gorpkora try in Solomon's sneakers

and so much more. Whatever presidency pick pick we know they're going to love them Visit a store today or shop at Holt Runfru.com After review the call on the Isis a whole new season of NHL action with Skip every order earns you a shot at winning one of over 200,000 prizes, including NHL Shop.ca and Skip gift cards, skip game time tires, and the Grand Prize, a trip for two to the 2024 Rogers NHL All-Star Game in Toronto. Order, shoot, win, with Skip, no purchase necessary, and November 30th for rules, visit winwithskip.com. Am I the butthole for being the one to pay for my niece's tummy tuck after years of her parents telling her no?

My niece, Ginny, went through trauma as a kid and ended up becoming an emotional eater. She became obese, was held back at grade and became socially stunted. Her parents, after I pushed her a lot, put her into therapy and she was able to heal from the trauma and gain control over eating. Because they waited so long to take her problem seriously, after my niece lost the weight, her skin didn't bounce back. And she was left with a saggy belly and protruding abdomen. She has a double-roll belly where there's a roll above and below the navel, and the bottom

roll tends to stick out and clothing. Before the body image brigade rains down on me, this is not just the fact that gathers naturally there for a lot of women. This is overhanging fat that is almost always visible and close. Nothing she did would fix it. Her parents are very much anti plastic surgery, and given that she was a teenager, I totally get it. But she was miserable in her own body. Ginny stays with me during summers because I lived near a beach and love spending time with her. Over the years, she would cry and cry and cry to me about how much she hated her stomach.

And how she wishes she could just look normal and her parents would just let her go get a tummy tuck. Last year, I decided that I would give her a tummy tuck for her 18th birthday as long as she cleared it with her counselor. Her counselor agreed that this was something that could truly help her. She had a done late in the summer, healed while staying with me and then went to college. I can't tell you how different she became. She was confident, happy, and she finally worked close and didn't hide her body.

The whole nine yards. She even asked someone out at the beach. She came home for spring break and finally wore something that made her mom take notice and I'm guessing mom saw her scar. She hit the roof and started yelling at Jenny for what she did. Asking her if she really spent her college money on something this frivolous, Jenny came crying to me about it and I knew that I couldn't let her take the blame with her mom, so I fessed up. My sister has blacklisted me. My sister basically thinks that I'm Satan, warping her kid's self-esteem and self-image,

that I should have told her to learn to love her body instead of giving in to diet culture. Ginny is happier than she's ever been. Furthermore, she was 18 at the time of this surgery, and this is happier than she's ever been. Furthermore, she was 18th at the time of the surgery, and this is something that she's won since she was 15 years old. It didn't lead to her winning more surgeries. It led to her sobbing happy tears after she tried a curve-fitting dress for the first time. I don't see how what I did was wrong, at all. At the same time, I know that she's not my kid. We did go behind my sister's back.

Plastic surgery is a big deal, so I don't know. OP, are you the butthole for paying for an adult to do something that's completely legal? No. Also, her therapist signed off and agreed that it could help her, so where's the harm here? OP, it sounds like your sister's just a prude. I'm giving you and Ginny zero out of five buttholes and I'm giving your sister 2.5 out of five buttholes.

Am I the butthole for emasculating my fiance in front of his family? I'm a 32 year old woman and my fiance is a 38 year old man. We've been together for about 6 years, engaged for 2. After we got engaged, we sat down and had the dealbreakers talk. One of my dealbreakers was to not have a prenup. I'm adhered to debate with anyone about their use. I just think that if you're preparing for divorce before you even get married, it's a sign that you're probably marrying the wrong person. He agreed and everything was fine. Lately, his family, particularly his mother, keeps on bringing up signing a prenup.

I've told her no many times. I said that's an issue between me and my husband and we'll discuss it privately and make her own decision as a couple. My fiance also told him no, although more weekly. Well, last night we went there for dinner and she brought out an actual prenup drafted by her lawyer. She put it in front of me after dinner and told me to sign it. Obviously, I didn't even read it, let alone sign it.

She called me a gold digger. No one, including my fiance, stood up for me, so I stood up for myself. I told her there's no gold to dig here. I make four times as much money as he does. I'm a medical doctor and he dropped out his second year. I've paid off all my student debt when my fiance has over $100,000 of debt left. I have my own house, ample savings, and I will certainly inherit more from my parents than he will from his.

My fiance has five siblings and his family is middle class. What is she worried about? That shut her up real quick, especially when my sister-in-law then said, if anything, he's the gold digger here. My fiance is now angry with me. He said it was a masculating for his family to know that I'm so much more successful than him, and his brothers are making jokes and changes contact in photo gold digger. Personally, I don't think that I was rude or out of line, but he thinks that I was a

butthole and could have handled it better. Am I the butthole here? Alright OP, so on this post, people are overwhelmingly voting not the butthole. However, yeah, I think I do have to give you a butthole score here. So first off, let me say that your mother-in-law completely stepped over the line. She's sticking her nose in someone else's business, and it was very rude of her, so I'm giving her a 2 out of 5 blood holes. Also OP, I do think that you have a right to stand up for yourself. What you said to your future mother-in-law was totally justified. However, just because what you did was justified doesn't mean that there will be no consequences. I mean, your fiancee is right, you did insult him in front of his family.

You didn't exactly mean to, but it's clear that he's been personally hurt by what you said. So for that, I think I have to give you one out of five buttholes. I think you owe your fiance an apology. That being said, I think your husband also owes you an apology. I have to give your fiance one out of five buttholes because he didn't stand up for you. If you're in a relationship with someone and they take you to visit their family and their family is rude to you, your partner should be the first line of defense to defend

you against his toxic family members. He didn't do that, he just sat by and let his mom try to manipulate you. So for that, I have to give your fiance one out of five buttholes. Like for real, what's the point of getting married if you're not going to have your spouses back? Am I the butthole for not following the rules of the neighborhood homeowner's association, even though I live in the neighborhood, but I'm not an HOA member. So my neighbors called me a butthole today.

I bought a house five years ago that a real estate company built on speculation. My house was the first house in a plan subdivision. The area kind of hit a boom period and the other surrounding houses went up in value quick. In my contract to purchase my home, there was no homeowner's association, and because I was here first, I didn't have to join in the other HOA that the neighbors decided to create. According to my contract, I'm grandfathered in. They all seem to forget this, though, and continually try to give me H-O-A finds for breaking the rules of the H-O-A. This has ranged from

having deliveries into my home, to cutting my own grass, to having vehicles parked in my yard. And they are not happy that I own an extra tract of land. I purchased a second lot so I could have a bigger yard so I could build a shooting range. I live in the south, this type of thing isn't very uncommon. The recent event that led to them calling me a butthole is they came over to ask me to remove an eye sore in front of my garage. I run a small hobby business of doing woodworking projects and I have a shelf outside of my garage door full of various pieces of treated lumber that I may use one day.

It's not the neatest or cleanest area, but it's not a disheveled mess either. So I told them that if they would just lighten up about all the H-A-Way finds, then I would move my wood pile if it bothered them so much. They proceeded to tell me that I had to address all the H-A-Way issues and take care of the wood pile. They also said that I had to stop any deliveries on Sundays and getting my other truck out of my yard. They handed me wood basically amounts to a ticket, and I trashed it and told them to get the F off my property. They called me

a butthole for my unreasonable behavior and told me they'd be back. Alright, so first of all, these HOA people are major douchebags and they're just trying to stick their nose in a place where it doesn't belong. I'm giving the HOA members 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. That being said, just because all of your neighbors are part of the H-E-Way, that doesn't mean that this guy who's being rude to you speaks for all of those neighbors. What I mean is, certainly you have plenty of other neighbors who have been perfectly nice to you, or at least haven't been mean to you, right? Well, those neighbors also have to look at your wood pile and the car that you have parked

on your front lawn. Like, sure, OP, it's your property so you can do whatever you want to with it. It's your right. However, just because you can doesn't mean that you should. Part of living in a community means showing your neighbor's basic courtesy. So honestly OP, yeah, you probably should move your woodpiling your car. To be clear, I'm not saying you have to do it. I could go out and buy a sign

and put a sign in my front yard that says whatever I want, but I'm not gonna do that because it's kind of a douchey thing to do. And making your property look kind of run down and cluttered and have supplies just laying around for everyone to see is kind of inconsiderate. So for that reason OP, I have to give you 0.5 out of 5 buttholes. You can and should stick it to these HOA people at every chance you get.

But don't punish all of your innocent neighbors along with them, you know? I would say the fact that you're defying their authority and just constantly ignoring all these tickets they give you is punishment enough. That was our slash of my the Butthole, and if you like this content, check out my Patreon where I publish extra episodes. Also, be sure to follow this podcast, because I put on your Reddit podcast episodes every single day.