rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Refusing To Name My Baby "Karen?"

Episode Date: November 5, 2020

r/AmITheA**hole OP's wife is about to give birth to a newborn baby girl. OP's wife wants to name the girl "Karen," because it's a family name. OP puts his foot down and refuses to name is daughter Karen. This leads to a blow-up fight between him and his wife, which leaves OP wondering if he's being too harsh about the name. Is growing up as a "Karen" really that bad? If you like this content, be sure to follow for more daily Reddit stories! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Today's subreddit is R-Slash, am I the butthole where Opie considers naming his daughter Karen? Am I the butthole for kicking your friend out of my house for what she said? Earlier today, I had two friends over to watch a game and catch up, as social distancing rules had eased up a bit in my area. We're all women in our early 30s. One friend, let's call her Amanda, has had a very tough couple of years. She lost her husband last year. He was on deployment when he passed away, and tragedy struck again when her six-year-old son passed away from cancer a few months ago. In needless to say, she was and still is devastated. And this was the first time she felt like hanging

out since the loss of her son. My other friend, let's call her Becca, is very traditional and religious. While Amanda and myself aren't religious at all, but our differing views had never been an issue and we've gotten along just fine with Becca since we met her four or five years ago. A few times in the past, Becca's brought up what she believes are the benefits of religion, but she's always dropped the subject when we weren't responsive to it. Neither Amanda nor I have held any ill feelings towards her about this as she wasn't to push you with her beliefs.

Now onto the situation that took place today. We were listening to Amanda pour her heart out and doing our best to console her while being a shoulder to cry on. Amanda said, through tears, I don't know what I did wrong in my life to deserve to lose my husband and my son. Instantly Becca exclaimed, well I can tell you that, you didn't allow God in the Bible into your life. So God punished you for it, can you blame him?

Amanda just looked at her in awe. I lost it. I yelled at her that what she said was totally uncalled for and unbelievably hurtful. Then I got up, opened the front door, and told her to get the hell out of my house and never contact me again. She tried to backtrack and say that she wasn't trying to be hurtful, but I wasn't having any of it. I yelled again, just get out of my house right now. Don't make me throw you out like a piece of trash. She huffed and left. Amanda was bawling at this point, but said thank you.

We continue talking, and she calmed down after a while. Looking back now, I realized that I possibly could have handled the situation better. Neither Amanda nor I ever thought that Becca would say something like that. Maybe I overreacted? I don't know. Am I the butthole? And then OP posted an update. It's been a few weeks since the incident, so I'll start by saying that my ex friend Becca did not apologize to Amanda for what she said. As a matter of fact, she hasn't reached out to either of us since then. We also didn't reach out to her. Unfortunately, Becca's words from that day really got to Amanda. She struggled with survivor's guilt and questioned her upbringing and lifestyle, views on religion,

etc. She doubled her therapy sessions, and I spent my free time keeping her company. A couple of weeks ago I went over to her place and found her reading a bible, and almost obsessively flagging pages. She said that she was researching to check if what Becca told her was true. She started reading excerpts and telling me her interpretations. This behavior did scare me a bit, so I suggested she bring this up to her therapist. It was the only thing I could think of to help calm her down.

She did talk to the therapist who suggested that perhaps she talked to a pastor instead of trying to come up with her own conclusions. She asked me to go with her and I did, but she told me to just wait for her the church while she talked to the pastor privately. Afterwards, she said that she felt better and was more convinced that Becca was full of it. She also seemed calmer, so I believe that conversation did help her. I was at Amanda's house on Friday and she told me that she still thinks about what Becca said, and although she feels much better after talking to the

pastor, he's only one person and what if he's wrong. I tried to reassure her again and talk her through her feelings, but I could tell that it was still eating at her. I had a feeling that she might spiral again. Then, I had an idea. I told her about the post that I made here on Reddit, explained why, how it works, etc. She's not a Reddit user. I pulled up my original post and asked her to read the comments to show her how hundreds of people, religious and non-religious, felt about what Becca said. We spent the evening reading each comment. She cried, she laughed. She was surprised and overwhelmed at the amount of support and reassuring

words from all these strangers. I could tell she was more and more relieved as we read. She's been in a much better state of mind since then, so seeing hundreds of people disagree with Becca's words definitely had a positive impact on her. So dear redditors, thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping my friend with your kind words and reassurance. She has a long road ahead of her in this creeping process, but she's going strong. OP, I'm really glad that the Reddit community could help out Amanda, and going back to your original post, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. If anything, I think you showed too much restraint. I'm going to read this post from Jake Fortune. Not the butthole. I mean, you could have handled the situation better, but you probably aren't big enough

to physically grab Becca by the collar and belt and throw her 10 feet out into the front yard like in the cartoons. Am I the butthole for refusing to name our daughter, Karen? My wife and I recently found out that we're having a daughter. We hadn't really talked about names before, but we both agreed that each of us will retain veto power. When we did start discussing names, both of us went into name after our late mothers. Her mom's name was Karen, and my mom's name wasn't a meme.

I told her the baby can take my mom's name as her first name, and her mom's name is the middle name. Or have an entirely different name, but I can't okay Karen as a first name in any case. She got offended because she just wants to honor her mother and thanks I have a problem with that. I just don't want to set up her daughter to be bullied throughout her life. I told her I'd be fine with whatever first name she picks as long as it doesn't lead to the baby being picked on later in life, but she's pretty insistent on Karen. OP memes live and die pretty quickly, so there's a decent chance that by the time

your kid becomes school aged, that Karen won't have the same connotation. But then again, there's also a good chance that it will. So, as a person who literally makes a living making fun of entitled Karen's, I have to advise against naming your kid Karen. I have to imagine that you'd be setting up your kid for a lot of potential bullying from other kids. Actually, I'm curious, is there anyone listening to this video who goes to school and knows a Karen? Does the Karen that you know get bullied much from other kids? Because I have to imagine that whenever she gets a little bit upset, everyone's like, calm down Karen or don't be a Karen.

But I don't know, it's been a while since I've been to high school, so I'm just guessing. more. Whatever presence you pick, we know they're going to love them. Visit a store today or shop at HoltRenfrew.com. Bet on the NFL with Bandual, a Fishable Sportsbook partner of the NFL. Download the app today to see why we're in North America's number one sportsbook. Nineteen plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem call problem called 1866-531-2600 to visit Kinectsentario.ca. Am I the butthole for telling my stepdaughter to go ask her real dad when she asked me to pay for her plane tickets? I married my wife at least 12 years ago.

She is a 16-year-old daughter, Anna from a previous relationship, and we have a 7-year-old son as well. From pretty much the beginning of our relationship, Anna and I have never gotten along. I don't know how to emphasize that this is not because of a lack of trying. She just doesn't like me. When she was young, she was scared of me and afraid that I'd tear their family apart. Nowadays it's more of a neutral dislike rather than strong antipathy, so I suppose that's progress.

Elise is a stay-at-home mother, so she relies on me for income. As a result, I pay for everything for Anna. Food, clothes, volleyball fees, field trips, I take an interest in her hobbies, I go to her games. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I try my damn hardest to be the best stepfather that I can. But it's so hard. She's always giving me Kurt one word responses. She's always giving me Kurt, one word responsive, she's always giving me an attitude.

She does things to get a rise out of me, staying out late, wreaking a booze, always trying to sneak boys in, typical rebellious stuff. But I always let her know that I love her and that I'm there for, and hopes that her douchebag teenager phase passes. The opposite is true for her biological father. She adores him. I can't tell you why. He never goes to her games and always makes excuses for why he doesn't want to see her. He forgot her birthday last month and she cried herself to sleep. Well anyways, on Friday, I came to a room to check her phone and read her messages. This is an impermanent thing, but she's been caught sneaking out twice in the last month, so this is her punishment. I ask for her phone and she says,

No, I'm tired of you checking my stuff, leave me alone! I tell her I'm not asking again and she goes, Just the f- off already, you're not my real dad, you never have been. Stop acting like you can tell me what to do before getting up and slamming the door. Like I said, guys, I'm tired. Tired of the blatant disrespect of being the verbal punching bag while still providing more for her than anyone else in her family. We haven't really talked since until this morning's breakfast.

She asked if I could pay for her plane tickets so she could see her boyfriend across state. Like I said, her mom doesn't work and her dad is a piece of garbage, so normally I would be the one to cough up the money, but not this time. I responded, go ask your real dad. I could tell she was hurt. Tears swelled up from her face and she excused herself from the table. My wife took me a side later and said that my comment was extremely disrespectful. I said if anything is disrespectful, it's hurt treating me like a doormat and a credit

card. And I will no longer tolerate this treatment in my own house. I told her we don't have to be friends, but if she can't at least be cordial to me or respect my position as an authority figure, she can find someone else to pay for her non-essentials. Am I the butthole? Nah, OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. In fact, I think I would give you buttholes if you didn't put down your foot. If you don't discipline a teenager and just allow her to walk all over you like that,

then you're basically teaching her to be an entitled jerk. I'm giving your stepdaughter 1 out of 5 buttholes because while what she's doing is pretty rude, it's basically typical teenager stuff. I think the real butthole here is your wife. Based on this story, it sounds like she's just allowing her daughter to walk all over you, and then when you show the basic level of discipline, she gets all on a huff and takes her daughter side. That's extremely disrespectful of you, her partner, and it's just not good parenting. So I'm giving your wife

three out of five buttholes for not being a responsible mother. And then OP posted an update. Hey guys, it's been a good 2 weeks since I posted and I figured you guys would like an update. A LOT happens since the last time I post it. So that night, I did what many of the comments suggested I do which was to apologize. I told her that I'm sorry that I implied that I'm not a real father, but like it or not, that I consider her my daughter. That I loved her and I'll

always be there for her. She started to cry and sob uncontrollably and said, Why doesn't my real dad love me? I held her and told her that she didn't need to fight for his approval. I also apologize for looking through her phone, that I've come to accept that it's not an appropriate punishment for a teenage girl, and I was going to find other alternatives. Lastly, I brought up therapy, and while she was hesitant at first, I let her know that it was nothing to be ashamed of. That everything she said at therapy would be entirely confidential, and that it could help to have a confidant to help her sort through her feelings.

She sat on that for a day, and the next day she let me know that she was ready, so I set up the earliest appointment. It's only been a week, so I don't want to get too optimistic, but honestly, I feel like I'm noticing an improvement already. She's actually been engaging back in small talk when normally she wouldn't give me the time of day. She's been following all the rules, coming home in a reasonable hour. She's been less withdrawn and more social, even to the point where her brother commented

on the change today. But the most exciting news of all is when getting out of the car and away home from therapy she said, and I quote, Thanks Dad. She's never called me Dad before, so honestly, I've been riding off that hype for the last two hours. I'm not delusional enough to think that everything's peachy, but honestly, the behavior change in the last week was the most progress we've had since… well, ever. I'm cautiously optimistic going forward. Thanks again for your comments, everyone, especially the ones that gave me the kick in the butt that I needed.

OP, I'm so happy to read this. I was actually smiling or reading that last little paragraph. I'm really happy for you and your stepdaughter, and I hope everything works out okay. Am I the butthole for telling my wife that her parents are not allowed to ever watch our son again? My wife and I have a two-year-old son and have been married for four years. Our anniversary was a month ago and we found a nice, secluded cabin on Airbnb and ran it out for a long week and get away.

My wife asked her parents if they would be willing to watch our son and they agreed as long as we dropped him off at their house. That worked for us since it was on our way anyway. I was raised Lutheran and my wife was raised Catholic, but neither of us currently go to church and haven't had our son baptized. My mother-in-law knows this and hates it. She thinks our son needs to be baptized or her whole burn and hell. She's that kind of Catholic. So we go on our trip, and when we pick up our son and ask how the weekend went, my mother-in-law says that everything went fine and that she saved

my son's soul from the devil. I ask her what she meant, and she says that she had her son baptized that morning at her church. I tried my best to keep my cool so I didn't scream at my mother-in-law in front of my son, but I pretty much grabbed my son and left. On the car ride home, I was fuming and told my wife as calmly as I could that this would be the last time our parents have our son unsupervised. She tried to downplay what her mom had done, but I told her we need to wait until we get home to talk about it because I'm not fighting in front of my kid. When we got home and had a chance to talk about it, things got heated. I told my wife that I no longer trust her parents

with our son and that if they did something like this behind our backs, then I can't trust them to respect our wishes as parents in the future. I said this was a huge breach of trust and that I will forever look at her mom differently. She continued to try to defend her mom, saying that she was only doing what she thought was best for her grandson. She even downplayed it by saying that it's just a little water on a few words, and we don't go to church anyway, so what does it matter? I told her that under no circumstances will I allow her parents to watch our son by themselves again. I said that we can still let them see their grandson, but only for present. I also said that if she

doesn't see what the big deal is with the situation, that maybe we aren't on the same page as parents, and maybe we need to see a counselor. She started crying and said that isn't the kind of decision I get to make on my own, and I'm the butthole for trying to tell her what kind of relationship her parents can have with our son. I told her that I no longer have any trust to respect for her parents, and that I don't know if there's anything they can do to repair that. I told her that I don't care if that makes me a butthole, but what her parents did was unforgivable in my eyes, and they put themselves in this position to lose privileges with our son.

She's been trying to convince me to change my mind for the last month, but I'm not budging. To me, this is a hill that I'm willing to die on. Opie, let me get this straight. Your wife said that you're the butthole because you made this decision on your own, but apparently it's okay for her parents to make a decision about your kid's baptism on the

own? Nah, OP, it doesn't work that way. You get 0 out of 5 buttholes, your wife gets 2 out of 5 buttholes, and her parents get 3 out of 5 buttholes. In fact, what your in-laws did was so unethical that even the Catholic Church agrees that it's an ethical. Down in the comments of this post, Catholics were pointing out that secret baptisms against the parents' wishes violate church law. And if this was done by a Catholic priest, then OP can and should file a formal complaint with the church.

And to this OP replied, I didn't know this. Thank you for this. I'll be doing that ASAP. And to that someone else replied, I was going to say something along these lines as well. There were a number of hoops to jump through when my kids were baptized. One of which included going to a class and signing paperwork. It's possible that your mother-in-law is lying or that it's not an official baptism. So, thinking about it, that actually makes it worse. Either she lied with some sort of like unofficial baptism or she's been planning this months in advance.

She already took the classes and already forged paperwork so that she could baptize your son at the as soon as possible opportunity. So OP, I agree with you on all counts. This is a hill worth dying on. That was our slash of my the butthole. and if you like this content, then check out my Patreon where I published episodes that I couldn't publish to YouTube. Also, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put a new Reddit podcast episodes every

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