rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Refusing To Save My Mom's Life?

Episode Date: May 25, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole OP is the product of his mother's affair, which resulted in his father divorcing his mother. As a result, OP's mother blames him and treats him like absolute garbage throughout his ent...ire life. She even convinces the rest of her family to bully him as well. The abuse gets so bad that he leaves to live on his own. Well, eventually OP becomes fairly successful, and OP's mom comes knocking because she wants money for life-saving medical treatment. OP tells her to pound sand, but then has second thoughts and thinks that he might be the butthole. What do you think? https://anchor.fm/rslash/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Enjoy the classic taste of the holidays at Tim's with the new non-alcoholic Bailey's flavored holiday menu Whether you're hanging holiday lights or driving up to your folks You can enjoy your Tim's and Bailey's anytime anywhere at participating restaurants in Canada Welcome to our slash a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit today Subreddit is our slash amide the butthole where O.P. saves a young youtuber from ruining her career Hey, everyone our slash here is R-Slash and My The Butthole, where OP saves a young YouTuber from ruining her career. Hey everyone, R-Slash here. I have a special announcement that I'm going to put in my episodes for the next week or so.
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Starting point is 00:01:06 Am I the butthole for unemviting my whole family to my wedding because of my cousin's joke? I'm a 24 year old guy, and I'm getting married to my partner, a 22 year old woman, in six weeks. She's of Eastern European descent, and I'm from Spain where we live. We're having a small wedding with less than 15 people. It's just our families and one close friend. This is partially because of COVID, but mostly because we prefer it that way. Last week I was spending time with my family, and my 25 year old guy cousin starts to talk
Starting point is 00:01:33 to me about the wedding. He said congratulations, but he said it with the smile on his face that made it sound like he was taking the piss. I said, thank you, but what's so funny? He then literally says to me, how much did she cost? Well, my job basically hit the floor. I asked him what he's talking about and he said, I'm thinking about getting a slav it grow myself. I was so shocked that I couldn't find my words. I just started muttering, I'm leaving, over and over again
Starting point is 00:02:04 as I put my shoes on to leave. I don't remember what he said to me after that. My family has made some distasteful jokes about my inter-ethnic relationship before, but never jokes about sex trafficking before. When my cousin said that, it made me furious! It didn't even sound like he was joking. Even if he was, I feel that it crossed the line. I didn't know how I was going. Even if he was, I feel that it crossed the line. I didn't know how I was going to tell my partner, but I knew that I wasn't going to allow my cousin in the same room as her anymore. After driving 90 minutes to get home, I had enough time to think about it.
Starting point is 00:02:35 I called my cousin, and I told him that he's no longer invited to my wedding. The next day, I got spanned with calls, texts, and voice messages from my parents, uncle, and sister, telling me that I'm overreacting to the joke, and voice messages from my parents, uncle, and sister, telling me that I'm overreacting to the joke and causing a divide in my family. So I told them they were also uninvited. My parents aren't contributing to the cost of the wedding. They gave us 1,000 euros for an engagement gift, but after being uninvited, they demanded it back.
Starting point is 00:03:01 Even though I feel that you shouldn't be allowed to take back a gift, I gave it back to a void drama and to tell them that I don't need their money. I don't think that I'm overreacting because it's not fair to my partner to have people there on her big day who think that way about her. Even though my family makes up half of our total guests, I don't want anybody there who feels that way. I'm okay with having none of them there. Am I overreacting? Am I the butthole? Nah, OP, you are definitely not overreacting here. If someone made a joke about my wife being a prostitute, that I literally bought her and brought her over to my country for money, then I would definitely not invite her to my wedding. However, I will say that it kind of sounds like you're throwing out the baby with a bathwater here. When all of your family
Starting point is 00:03:43 called you and you uninvited them too, I feel like that might be a little bit extreme. Because in fairness to them, we don't know what your cousin told them about what really happened. And based on this story, it doesn't sound like you explained what happened or tried to reason with them, it sounds like you got upset and just uninvited them. And yeah, that's kind of unfair to them because they may have no clue why you uninvited your cousin. So yeah, you're not the clue why you unadvited your cousin.
Starting point is 00:04:05 So yeah, you're not the butthole for unadviding your cousin, but I can't really evaluate whether you're the butthole when it comes to unadviding the rest of your family because I feel like I'm missing information. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your cousin gets 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for convincing my stepdaughter to not sign a deal. My 24-year-old stepdaughter runs an Instagram page in a YouTube channel with a decent following. She makes some money from it, and her father wouldn't have her to sign up with some agency. He had done most of the legwork already and she had a contract in hand. She asked me to take a look at it. I'm not a lawyer, but I have taken part in some business negotiations.
Starting point is 00:04:43 The contract was biased against her. They would get control over any content she created. They would also get more than half of all of her earnings, and their marketing commitment was very vaguely defined. The only benefit of the contract was a $35,000 upfront payment for signing up. But that money would have to be paid back if she failed to meet their content production targets. It was a deal where her upside was limited, but their downside was protected. I told her this deal was garbage, and she could do much better than whatever this company offered just by working on her own. She's a smart girl, and she decided not to sign up.
Starting point is 00:05:20 She really doesn't care. She's just making money to support herself and do what she likes and has no interest in going viral. Her father hates that I interfered in his relationship with his daughter. Her mother, my wife, isn't happy either because she doesn't want her daughter to be self-employed. I feel a bit guilty because I didn't minst words when I described the deal to her, and the ensuing fallout between her dad and her has to really strain the relationship. I feel like I poured fire on a family feud. Her father has mad at me for poking my head where it doesn't belong and upstaging him. He doesn't like me anyway as he hates the fact that his ex-wife married a woman.
Starting point is 00:05:58 Also, my wife has pissed off that I'm encouraging her to continue this career. Alright OP, I am absolutely thrilled that I came across this story because I've been a YouTuber for about five years now, so I thoroughly understand the industry. But before I start talking about this as a YouTuber, let me just talk about this as a fellow human being. So here's what happened here.
Starting point is 00:06:18 Your stepdaughter, who's an adult, 24-year-old woman who can make her own choices, came to you and asked for your advice. You gave your advice, and your stepdaughter made a decision. You weren't sticking your nose where it didn't belong, she came to you and asked for your opinion, and you gave it so like what's the big deal here? Alright, now that I've gotten that part out of the way OP, let me talk to you as a professional YouTuber. So first things first. In my five years as a professional YouTuber and like two years as a pro podcaster, I have never seen a deal like this.
Starting point is 00:06:52 It sounds super sketchy. If some company wanted me to sign a contract and tried to take 50% of my earnings, I would laugh in their face. And on top of that, they want to own her content? No way, OP, no way. This is seriously, seriously sketchy. OP, there is literally no scenario on planet earth where I would actually sign that contract. It completely exploits your step daughter and essentially just steals her money. In fact, OP, I would really love it if you could email me that contract.
Starting point is 00:07:26 I'm not gonna do anything with it, I'm not gonna share it, I'm not gonna post it. I just kinda wanna read it because this sounds ridiculous. Like, just on a professional level, I'm trying to figure out what on earth is going on here. Alright, so here's what I think is going on here. My suspicion is that this company is an MCN. The way MCN's work is basically all the content and all the money sort of goes through them and they take a cut of the profits. And in exchange they offer a certain amount of services like they might have analytics or they might
Starting point is 00:07:56 have access to special sponsorship deals or they might have like a music library that you can use, but like nine times out of 10, they are terrible deals. When I first got started on YouTube, I really didn't know what I was doing, and I got a bunch of emails from MCNs, and eventually I decided to sign up for one. And basically what they did was they just took, I wanna say 10% of my earnings
Starting point is 00:08:18 and gave me a bunch of tools that I completely never used. Anyways, I dropped my MCN like a bad habit and I've never looked back. Now, it is worth mentioning that in some rare cases, MCNs are actually really, really useful. For example, if your stepdaughter has a music channel, then joining an MCN can be useful because what they'll do is they'll basically search all of YouTube. So if someone else is using your stepdaughter song, then they'll claim that song and then that way your stepdaughter will be paid for that video.
Starting point is 00:08:48 But I would say, unless your daughter's musician, do not sign with them. And even if she is a musician, don't sign with this company, sign with some other company that offers the same services and a much more reasonable cut. Also, in regards to your wife being pissed off at you, I really can't understand why she doesn't want your stepdaughter to be self-employed. I'm not trying to flex or brag when I say this, but realistically being a content creator is like a dream job. You work your own hours, you don't have a boss, you make pretty much whatever you want, and you just earn money based on your own creativity and work ethic.
Starting point is 00:09:25 Also, let's be honest, the money is insane. If you get big enough, you can literally make millions of dollars a year. The biggest YouTubers out there like Jake Paul or Mr. Beast can literally make millions of dollars per month. I can sort of understand where your wife is coming from. When I started, my parents were like, are you sure you know what you're doing? And no matter how many times I tried to explain to my grandmother how YouTube worked, she just never got it. My grandma was constantly worried that I would go broke and I wouldn't be able to pay the bills. But seriously, in 2021, being a content creator can be a very stable, lucrative, and desirable profession.
Starting point is 00:10:05 OP, if you like, you can even email me questions that you and your stepdaughter might have about this profession. I hate to see a young YouTuber who's just starting out get exploited like this, so I'd be happy to help. Anyways, OP, I got a little sidetracked there. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your stepdaughter 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm also giving your wife zero out of five but holes.
Starting point is 00:10:26 She's wrong, but not being a jerk about it. The stepfather, however, gets three out of five but holes. I would bet anything that he's gonna get paid if he could get a stepdaughter to sign that contract and that's why he cares so much. And that's just disgusting behavior. That's Salesforce where all about asking more of AI. Questions like, where's the data going?
Starting point is 00:10:47 Is it secure? Are you sure? Are you sure you're sure? Get answers you can trust from Salesforce at AskMoreVai.com. Now streaming on Paramount Plus. Hey baby, I hear the blues. It's calling tall salads and scrambled eggs. You all know how this goes. And maybe I seem a bit confused.
Starting point is 00:11:07 Yeah, maybe. But I got you picked. Ha-ha-ha. But I don't know what to do with those two salads in scramble eggs. Kelsey Grammer returns in Frazier. Life's calling again. New series now streaming on Paramount Plus. Am I the butthole for telling my mother-in-law that I married her daughter and not her? to call in again.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Am I the butthole for telling my mother-in-law that I married her daughter and not her? My mother-in-law is a kind and funny woman, but she does have a few problems with boundaries and is a little too involved in my marriage, especially now that my wife is pregnant. My wife's family doesn't have a lot of money, and it's the opposite with my family. My family owns a factory and I'm an engineer. My wife has a job that doesn't pay well, but she's happy with it. Every time I get my wife something nice, especially jewelry, I would get a call from my mother-in-law complaining that she got nothing.
Starting point is 00:11:56 This would even happen on my wife's birthday or our wedding anniversary. Holidays and other occasions aside, she would throw a fit about how is treating her less kindly than my wife. Whenever she comes over and notices a new piece of furniture or a new item, she would complain that I didn't get her a similar stuff. She sent me a picture of a very expensive necklace that she wanted me to get from Mother's Day. I called her to ask about it, and she said that she's been wanting it for a while, and
Starting point is 00:12:22 only I could afford it. When I told her that I might not be able to get it, she replied that I already got my wife an expensive necklace on Sunday, so I can afford to get this one. I didn't get her the necklace. Instead, I got her some fresh flowers that I picked for my late mother's garden that I trimmed and organized myself and put in a nice vase. We visited Sunday evening, and my mother-in-law kept smiling until it was time for the gift opening. I handed her the flowers, and I talked aboutin-law kept smiling until it was time for the gift opening.
Starting point is 00:12:45 I handed her the flowers, and I talked about how much time and effort I made to put everything together. She was shocked and said she thought that I loved and cared enough to get her something nice. Just like I did for my wife, who technically isn't even a mother yet, and she's been a mother for 32 years. I got annoyed and said that I didn't appreciate her harsh response to my gift. But she argued with me and kept talking about how much she wanted the necklace
Starting point is 00:13:10 and that I could afford it just like I was able to afford the one that I got from my wife. But instead, I chose a thoughtless, sucky gift to give her. That pissed me off. I told my mother-in-law that I married her daughter and not her. Of course I was putting my wife first. And it's crazy that she thinks that I'm oblig daughter and not her. Of course I was putting my wife first. And it's crazy that she thinks that I'm obligated to treat her in my wife the same way. My wife looked at me like she was astonished. My mother-in-law replied that I was being mean and nasty to her on purpose, and that I was rubbing my financial stability in her face, treating her as if she was greedy instead of showing her appreciation.
Starting point is 00:13:45 She left the room looking like she was about to cry, and my wife followed her. Suddenly, everyone was staring at me, and it was awkward as hell. My wife snapped at me in the car, telling me that I was way out of line for making her mom cry on Mother's Day. And she said that she won't let my attitude cause a rift between her and her mom. I asked if she agreed with her mom's demands, and she said no. But that I still went over the top, and I shouldn't have spoken to her that way. She said that I deeply hurt her mom's feelings, and I should apologize.
Starting point is 00:14:15 I really don't want to ruin my relationship with my mother-in-law, but I'm worried that I just did. Yeah, OP, I agree with your wife. Criticizing your mother-in-law on Mother's Day is really rude. Now, don't get me wrong. I do think that you're right here. Your mother-in-law is being completely unreasonable. But that was neither the time nor the place to address that issue.
Starting point is 00:14:35 OP, I'm giving you two out of five buttholes. I'm also giving your mother-in-law two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for refusing to pay for my mother's hospital bills? Shortly after my fifth birthday, my dad found out that I was not biologically his. He immediately threw me in my mother out of his life, which now, looking back, I can't really blame him. It would be a nightmare to raise someone who was a constant reminder of your wife cheating. Shortly after that, we moved from a mansion to a very small apartment, and my life has been absolutely lonely and horrible since then. The love that my mother had for me
Starting point is 00:15:12 disappeared in an instant, and she and my half siblings who constantly blame me for being the reason for the divorce have hated me since. I was constantly told by my own family, including my mother that they always said I would die and would have never been born and things like that. I try not to let my half siblings' words get to me since they were kids as well, but it still hurts to this day. My mother married my stepdad when I was 10, and he and his kids, my step siblings, have made it very clear that they didn't like me and things got
Starting point is 00:15:45 even worse. I was given the smallest room, no new clothes or things, and I was either constantly ignored or bullied by my family. Both my step family and half siblings went on great and fantastic trips and were given all the latest gadgets and given everything while I was left behind. It actually got to the point where on my eighth birthday, no one even wished me a happy birthday. I had no friends in school as well. I was the quiet kid who was always isolated and left out of everything. Now I'm a 27 year old man,
Starting point is 00:16:17 and I managed to get a full ride to a dream college, and I'm now financially quite secure. I now have very good friends and an amazing fiance with whom I have a three year old son, and her family has basically adopted me as one of their own. My fiance also convinced me to go to therapy for which I'm very grateful as well, and I'm basically doing great in life and I've moved past everything. Recently my mother contacted me a few days ago saying that she needed my help, or more accurately, my money, because she has cancer, and I firmly but politely refused her, saying that while
Starting point is 00:16:51 I sympathize with her situation, it's not my responsibility, and she should lose my number and never contact me again. I'm now being hounded by my step family and even my half siblings that I shouldn't refuse, and my response to them was pretty much the same. I just blocked them all. Yesterday my mother called me from her friend's phone and ordered me to pay her bills since she sacrificed so much for me. To which I replied, you never sacrificed anything. You gave away everything you ever had just because you couldn't keep your legs closed and I hung up on her. I blocked everyone, and now I just keep receiving messages calling me a butthole among other
Starting point is 00:17:29 things from family members, which I promptly block. But occasionally, I feel quite guilty. What my mother did was horrible, yes, but no one deserves to die for such things. So Reddit, am I the butthole for refusing to pay my mother's hospital bill, even though it may lead to her death? OP, what your mother did to you is utterly disgusting, and in my opinion it's completely unforgivable. As in, there is literally nothing she could ever say or do that would ever be worthy of forgiveness
Starting point is 00:18:00 from you. What kind of disgusting person tells their own child that they wish that they were never born? OP, if they pull that son on me and try to call me up, I just be like, new family, who this? I'm giving you a solid zero out of five buttholes OP. Your mother, on the other hand, gets the rare five out of five buttholes. Honestly, I have no sympathy for people who abuse kids. That was our slash of my the butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put on your Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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