rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole for Ruining a Karen's Wedding?

Episode Date: July 13, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP is forced into being the best man for his friend and an incredibly toxic bride. The bride tries to micromanage OP's life and control his girlfriend's body. The bride actually demands that OP's girlfriend wear a frumpy dress to hide her pregnancy, because the bride doesn't want the pregnancy stealing attention from her wedding. So, OP decides to ruin the wedding by trashing on the couple during his best man speech. Is he the butthole in this situation? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from a cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash Am I the Butthole, where OP gives the best man's speech at a wedding and says that he can't wait for the divorce. Am I the Butthole for telling the truth in a wedding toast? I'm a 30-year-old guy and my best friend got married last week. I just bought a house and my wife is expecting our son in November, so I let my friend know that I was pretty limited in what I'd be able to contribute financially, but I did say that I would try my best. So I went to the bachelor party in Maine, I rented the tux, and I paid for mine and my wife's dinner at the rehearsal dinner. I also had a gift of $300 that I was going to give them, but we'll get to why I didn't

later. His now wife, then fiancé, texted me multiple times a day with updates. Fine. I didn't always respond, and it got to the point where if I didn't respond at least once a day, I'd get a call from my buddy. I have a full-time job, and I'm redoing some of the rooms in my house, so I'm busy. She texted me for the following reasons. One, my wife was not allowed to talk about our pregnancy at all. My friend's fiance didn't

want anyone to focus on that more than her, the bride. 2. She was not going to order special food for my wife. To be clear, no one asked her to. My wife was fine eating whatever. 3. I wasn't helping the groom enough. He had to help her with favors, seating charts, and programs, so I had to help him with those things, according to her. She also said to get ready to help with thank you notes after the wedding. For, she said that if I was a true best man, then I would offer to pay for the bar bill. I don't even know what she means by that. She wanted to read and approve my best man's speech before the rehearsal dinner, and she wanted me to mention her just as much as I

mentioned my buddy. She even told me to make up stories about her if I had to. I wasn't allowed to mention anyone except for the two of them and I was allowed no inside jokes or stories about my buddy that didn't include her. Six, in her most recent text, she told me to tell my wife to keep it together and not make a pregnancy scene during the wedding. Also, she wanted my wife to choose a dress that downplayed her pregnancy as much as possible. I was just so aggravated that I spoke to my friend to see if he could reason with her. He told me to just play ball on this one, after all it's her day. Also, he asked me to just cut him a break because he'd be dealing with her nonsense for the rest of his life. I was annoyed but I calmed down.

The day of the wedding, all the bride and my buddy do is scold me, berate me, and bark orders at me. I head down to the bar to have a drink. The bride's mother is there, and she warns me not to get drunk because I've already ruined her daughter's day enough. That was the final straw. I did not give in the card with the $300 cash. In my best man's speech, I used my friend's exact wording about having to deal with her nonsense for the rest of his life. I wish them the best, and told him that I'd always be there for him, especially during the divorce. Am I the butthole? Down in the comments, I I'm gonna read this post from Curious Suki Hemi because I think they really nailed it.

Everyone sucks here, here's why. First, the groom knew that he was marrying a piece of work and instead of protecting his friends, he co-signed, aided, and abetted his wife's atrocious behavior. Second, his wife sucks for trying to regulate your wife's body. For allowing her insecurity seclude her judgement, and for being the very definition of a bridezilla.

3. You for not taking the high road and waiting until the very last minute to defend your wife's honor. Look dude, you were totally justified, but you also had ample opportunity to jump off this crazy train before it got this far. Being a good friend means having the comfortability and latitude to say no when your friends are going off the rails. You waited until the last minute and you let your emotions get the better of you. Your wife deserve better from these people and from you in this moment. PS, get new friends because these people suck hard core. Yeah, I agree with this assessment.

The wife is a complete and total bridezilla. I'm giving her three out of five buttholes. Your friend's an enabler. I'm giving him two out of five buttholes. You, OP, were being petty and trashy. You get three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my wife that the lock on my daughter's door

won't get removed until my brother-in-law and his daughters are out of our house? My brother-in-law, Sammy, lost his home shortly after he got divorced 10 months ago. He moved in with us and brought his twin daughters, Olivia and Sloan, who are 18. His sister is my wife, and my wife and I have one daughter, Zoe, who's 16. Zoe and her cousins aren't close, but they get along fine. Olivia and Sloan have no respect for Zoey's privacy. NONE! They'll just walk into Zoey's room and take everything they can get their hands on. Make-up, phone accessories, clothes, school laptop, etc.

Zoey's complained a lot, and I've already asked the girls to respect Zoey's privacy and stop taking things. My wife and Sammy saw no issue with this. After all, they're just girls, and this is typical teenage girl behavior, but I completely disagree. The last straw was when Zoe bought a $60 makeup kit that looks like a paint set, and she saved up for over a month to buy it. Sloan took the makeup kit without permission, and ruined it by mixing shades together while using it. Sloan took the makeup kit without permission and ruined it by mixing shades together while

using it. I don't know much about makeup, but that's what Zoe said when she found the kid on her bed and was crying. I told my wife and she said that she'd ask Sloan to apologize. Later, I got Zoe a lot after I found out that she was moving her valuables out of the house because of this incident. Samian's daughters saw the lock and they were not happy. His girls were extremely upset. Sammy asked me about it and I straight up told him the reason. He said, My daughters aren't thieves. It's normal that girls at the same age borrow each other's stuff.

He said that Zoe could easily get another makeup kit for 15 bucks from Walmart and it shouldn't even be expensive. Alright, I just gotta stop this story here and just say, in that case dude, couldn't you just easily get an apartment somewhere, it's not that expensive. Anyways, back to the story. Sammy said that Zoe shouldn't even be buying expensive adult makeup in the first place, and he suggested that my wife take care of this defect and Zoey's personality trying to appear older than she is. He accused me of being overprotective and babying Zoey with this level of enablement.

I told Sammy that this was between me and my wife, but then my wife shamed me for putting a lock on Zoey's door for her cousins to see, and preventing them from spending time with her, saying that I was supposed to treat them like daughters. Then my wife demanded that I remove the lock, but I said the lock doesn't get removed until her brother and his daughters are out of our house. She got mad that I was implying that we kicked them out, and she said that her family would hate me for this. So I reminded my wife that I let Sammy and his family move in with us, which is something that her own family refused to do. So she should really start blaming them for not taking their own son and nieces and granddaughter in. If it wasn't for her own family's unwillingness to help, then we wouldn't be dealing

with so much trouble at home. Everyone's been giving me and Zoe's silent treatment, and my wife is very much upset over this. Okay, OP, this story actually made me angry reading this because these people are so delusional. If your wife thinks it's totally fine for these girls to steal other people's makeup, then she can get her nieces her makeup, right? Why is it okay for them to steal the daughters makeup but not the wife's makeup? Also, OP, your brother-in-law and his daughters are extremely entitled.

There's absolutely nothing wrong about having a lock on a bedroom door. In fact, in a lot of houses, a lock on a bedroom door is just a fault. And of course they're gonna get upset about it because thieves don't like locks because they're thieves. And on top of that, literally every single sentence out of Sammy's mouth is just complete and utter BS.

That's just something that teenage girls do. They bar each other stuff. Okay, but if you take something without permission and then it's either destroyed or you don't give it back, that's not borrowing, that's stealing. Also, why is it the case that when a 16 year old girl buys adult makeup, suddenly that's a defect in her personality? But it's okay for 18 year old girls to use that makeup instead?

Like, it's just a two year difference, so if an 18 year old can use that makeup, then soak in a 16 year old. And fundamentally, when you get right down to it, Sammy and his daughters just aren't respecting your household. They're not being good guests, they're not being good family members, and deep down they're just not being good people. Also OP, your wife is clearly picking her brother's family over her own family. Your wife should always put her daughter and you first in all situations because that's what a family is. OP, you get a rock solid zero out of five buttholes. You did nothing wrong here. The only thing I'm seeing from you is a caring and protective father who's looking out for his little girl. Your nieces, Sloan and Olivia get two out of five buttholes because

honestly they're just bullying your daughter. Your brother-in-law and your wife both get four out of five buttholes because they're being extremely entitled and disrespectful. I just hate the hypocrisy from this guy. Sammy's coming into your house and telling your daughter how she can and she can't spend her own money. When the entire reason why he moved his family into your house is so that he can save money on an apartment. Sammy is an entitled, hypocritical douchebag. Opie, I hope you show this r-slash of my the butthole thread to your wife because she seriously needs a wake-up call. Am I the butthole for announcing that my dad isn't paying for my college tuition? My aunt and uncle are paying for

my cousins college. My dad had a college fund for me, but he had a bunch of stipulations, like he wanted nothing below a B for grades, but he had a bunch of stipulations like he wanted nothing below a B for grades and he wanted to pre-approved any classes I take. He also wanted to have weekly meetings to discuss grades and other stuff. This would all be fine if you had a normal dad, but my dad is not normal. My dad has a temper, and I spent from 6th grade to 12th grade stressed out about my grades, and being screamed at are grounded over things that sometimes weren't even my fault. Like a teacher not updating online grades and my assignment being marked missing because

of it. Also, my dad would randomly search my backpack and locker to make sure that you're not hiding anything. So I decided to pay for college myself, because number one, I'm tired of being stressed and screamed at. And number two, I didn't want to constantly worry that he would disapprove of a class or a grade and then decide not to pay. That's something that I could totally see him doing.

I would rather be in debt than be controlled for four more years. I just finished my first year of college and paid for everything myself. My family got together on the 4th of July, and well, sometimes they're nosy. They were talking about my cousin's school, and my uncle looked at my dad and said, Hey, how much is OP's college costing you? I said, what are you asking him for? I'm the one paying for it. Later on, my dad was pissed off and said

that I was out of line to say that and that I embarrassed him. I didn't do it to embarrass him. I was just being honest. He doesn't even know how much my tuition is, so he's the wrong person to ask. Am I the butthole? Oh, P, what's going on here is that your father

doesn't actually want to pay for college. What he really wants is the credit for paying for your college. He's totally fine letting his kid go into debt, as long as his beloved brother thinks that he's such a generous person to pay for his kid's college. If you heard his feelings so bad, then maybe you should try communicating with him the way he prefers to communicate, by yelling and screaming. Your dad made you feel like garbage for six years, and you made him feel like garbage for 6 seconds, and suddenly you're the butthole?

No. O.P. you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your dad gets 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my mother that we won't be going to our wedding since she bleached my daughter's hair? My mom is getting married at the end of July. My daughter, who's 11, was going to be her flower girl. Over the 4th of July holiday, my husband and I were both on a call, so my daughter stayed with my brother and his wife, who went over to my mom and her fiance's house. While they were

there, my mom bleached my daughter's hair without even asking me. We died my daughter's hair semi-regally with Arctic Fox, which is safe for kids. About a week ago, we died my daughter's hair of very pretty blue. My mom hates unnatural hair colors, and she's been hounding me to fix it for the wedding. My daughter was fine with being a brunette for a little while when I asked her. I was going to let her blue fade out naturally, then put a dark brown over it before the wedding. I guess that wasn't soon enough for my mother. Obviously, I would never bleach a child's hair. But my mother, in all of her wisdom, decided that it was the perfect time to fix her hair for me. This

woman used to be a stylist over a decade ago, so she should know better. I was furious. Her hair is so dry and damaged, and the blue isn't even out. It's like this blotchy, faded, greenish, bluish thing with spots of blonde. I don't want to put any product on it now because I don't want to risk even more damage. The only thing that she didn't touch is the roots. I made an appointment at a salon to go and try and fix her hair. I told my mom that we won't be going to her wedding, which is causing a commotion. I've been getting a lot of... Your mom's a control freak. It's just how she is. It's not a big deal. It's just hair from almost everyone. I can't believe that my sister-in-law, who's usually the best babysitter, would let this happen.

My brother says, just fix it. Like it's so easy. My daughter hates her hair. She expected a pretty bleach blonde like Billy Eilish, which is what a grandma promised her, not this faded mess. People are acting like I'm overreacting and that my mom's best intention trumps my own parental rights. I know that people already judged me for letting my kid have colored hair, and they don't see how bleach is different. Okay, so clearly this isn't about hair, it's not about having blue hair or blonde hair.

This is about your mother doing something to your own child's body without your consent. I think you're totally justified, OP. You hit 0 out of 5 buttholes, your mom gets 3 out of 5 buttholes. OP, I know that you said you didn't want to do anything to your daughter's hair because it was so damaged. But I think the funny thing to do would be to re-die her hair blue, then tell your mother, oh don't worry I fixed it, we can come to the wedding now. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I've put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.