rSlash - r/AmITheA**Hole for Tattooing My Name on Someone without Consent?

Episode Date: April 22, 2022

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to R-slash, am I the butthole where OP files a police report against her own nephew? Am I the butthole for filing a police report against my nephew? My mom has late stage Alzheimer's and has been unable to manage her money and she needs around the clock care. It would probably be safer to put her in a nursing home, but she made us promise to only do that as a last resort. Thankfully, she has a lot of investments and savings from my dad before he passed away, so we can get her a hired personal care in her own home. My sister's the one who lives the closest and visits her often, so she handles mom's finances. We each give my sister 200 bucks a month for her to run errands and help look after my mom
Starting point is 00:00:40 since we both live out of state. My other sister called me to tell me there's been a lot of cash withdrawals recently on my mom's card. I check, and there's been tons of withdrawals of three to four hundred dollars over the course of the past year. We call my sister who handles finances, and she's confused. She says that she never takes out cash, she only pays bills with the bank card, and she uses the credit card for groceries. She freezes the bank card and I fly over immediately.
Starting point is 00:01:10 Long story short, we asked the bank where the ATM withdrawals happened. My sister looked shocked when she googled the location and realized it is close to her son's school. We waited until her son got home and asked him where he worked, and he said a local restaurant. We said we would like to go with him to the restaurant to confirm that he works there, and he got really panicked and said that management just changed so they wouldn't know him. I asked to see his paycheck, and he finally just gave up and admitted that he doesn't have a job. My sister asked him where the money for the new stuff that he bought comes from and he admitted that he steals the bank card to make cash withdrawals.
Starting point is 00:01:50 I asked him where he got the pen number and my sister confessed that she writes her pens on sticky notes so she doesn't forget them. I looked through the bank statements and I calculated that he stole over $14,000. I told him that he has to pay back the money now, or I'm filing a police report on him for theft. My sister begged me to not say anything, because if he has anything on his record, then he might not get into college. I told her that I won't if she pays for it, but she said that she's struggling and doesn't have money. She's a single mother. I told her that isn't good enough, and she complained that her son is only 16 and doesn't know any better. I told her they won't put a 16 year old in jail, but he might do it again when he's older, so it's better to learn his lesson now. She said that we could just subtract that from her son's inheritance
Starting point is 00:02:41 from our mom, and I yell at her that if her mom was in a state to judge, she would write him out of the will for this. I call up my lawyer and ask what I should do, and he suggested filing a police report, but not including my nephew's name just yet. I did just that. And now my sister is screaming at me that I'm ruining her son's life by involving the police
Starting point is 00:03:02 and that he's only a kid. I'm not happy about it, but if he's 16 and stealing from his own grandma who looked after him when his mom was sick, I can't imagine what he's going to do when he gets older. Opie, the kid stole 5 figures from his sick, dying grandmother. This guy needs a reality check, and clearly his mom isn't going to give it to him. Also, down in the comment, sucker for cats points out that it's much, much worse than you might think. Not the butthole. I'm a former adult protective social worker, and this is exploitation and a crime.
Starting point is 00:03:37 If you're in the US and your mom needs a nursing home in the next five years, Medicaid, which pays for long-term care, audits the finances upon submitting an application. They could deny paying her bill until the amount that was stolen was paid back or paid by someone to the facility for the amount that was taken. He either needs to get a job and pay back every penny that he stole or face the justice system. This behavior needs to have consequences. My sister did this when she was young and my parents did nothing. She now has multiple felonies for theft, identity theft, and stealing credit cards. He needs to learn a lesson.
Starting point is 00:04:14 Yeah, I agree. Stealing like a couple of hundred bucks is just a mistake. But doing it day after day after day for years on end, that's a lifestyle. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. Your sister gets two out of five buttholes for being a clueless, limperasted parent. Your nephew gets four out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for screaming at
Starting point is 00:04:36 and banning my sister-in-law and niece from my home after they destroyed my houseplants? Years ago, I got really into houseplants and started to collect them. Over the years, I've had up to 70, but I whittled my collection down to about 35. Just the ones I really love. My niece, Jenny, who's 14, has developed an interest in plants
Starting point is 00:04:57 and will come over and will talk about them and she helps me with propagation and repotting. I had to go out of town for two weeks to take care of some work stuff. So I asked my sister-in-law and Jenny if they could plant it for me. I told Jenny I would pay But also gave her a few cuttings as a trade-off. They agreed and when they came over I gave a tour and explained the care needed and also showed off a few prized plants. My sister-in-law asked me how much if you of them cost and I did share.
Starting point is 00:05:23 Well, I returned for my trip and I was horrified. They watered and gave my plants the right amount of light, but they also decided to give a lot of my plants haircuts. Big ones. My prized seaboo blue pothos mother plant was destroyed. The climbing one too, my manhula pothos had been done the same. My golden that I trained up my stairwell, my string ofula poatos had been done the same, my golden that I trained up my stairwell, my string of pearls, hearts and ruby necklace all destroyed.
Starting point is 00:05:51 My silver stripe, Philodendron, the worst was that my pink princess phylo had been reduced to two leaves, and my albomon stera is down to three. I don't even think they got the nodes necessarily. These plants are expensive and prized. I basically broke down, and when they came to meet me to give me back my key, I screamed and screamed at them. Ginny started crying, saying that I would give her the cutting, so she thought that it was okay. I screamed at her to go home and get what she stole from me and bring it back now, because she knew I didn't mean that she could destroy my effing plants.
Starting point is 00:06:29 My sister-in-law got between us and said, let's done is done. I said, no way, you're returning everything. Jenny said, mom already sold most of them on the marketplace. I lost it and just screamed and screamed at them until Ginny was crying and her mom got in my face and told me that I was having a tantrum over plants. I told them to get the app out of my house and don't ever come anywhere near me or my home again. I called my brother, my sister-in-law's husband, and he was shocked and said they told him that I said it was okay. He brought me the stuff she hadn't sold yet and apologized. I told him that I said it was okay. He brought me the stuff she hadn't sold yet
Starting point is 00:07:05 and apologized. I told him that I never, ever want either of them in the same room as me again. They're horrible, awful, irredeemable people and I hope they burn and hell where they belong. He told me that he gets that I'm upset but that I'm taking it too far and that family means not holding grudges. I told him to leave and I cried for the rest of the day. I'm posting because I need to know if I was over the top and if I'm overreacting. So am I the butthole for telling them that they're no longer welcome in my home and for not even wanting them in the same room as me? Okay OP, you're definitely justified in being upset because they really did you dirty here. But in my opinion, this blame lands squarely
Starting point is 00:07:50 on the sister-in-law, not the niece. The niece is 14 and it's not exactly clear how much she knows about plants, so we can't really say if she knew what she was doing would actually kill the plants. In my opinion, what's actually going on here is your sister saw your plants, realized how expensive they were, and saw a chance at a payday. The reason why they cut the plants when you weren't there and why they overcut them was
Starting point is 00:08:17 so that she could sell as many plants as possible and therefore make as much money as possible. I feel like 14 is kind of old enough to know better, but also if she's there with her mom and her mom did the clippings and then sold them, then in my opinion, the niece is pretty much off the hook. I would understand if some people wanted to blame Ginny, but really this feels like the mom
Starting point is 00:08:40 who's like exploiting the situation to make a buck off of you by destroying your hobby. So I blame her 100% not Jenny. So from that perspective, OP, while I do understand why you're so upset, I think you're being way too harsh on Jenny. Saying that a 14 year old girl acting under the direction of her mother deserves to burn in hell for killing plants is honestly pretty extreme. So for being so harsh to a 14 year old, I'm giving you 0.5 out of 5 buttholes.
Starting point is 00:09:09 I'm giving Ginny, I think also 0.5 out of 5 buttholes because I feel like she probably should have known what she was doing was wrong and she probably should have tried to stand up to her mom a little bit more, but at the end of the day she's just 14 so I can't be too harsh to her. The sister-in-law, however, gets 3 out of 5 buttholes. She literally killed your plants to make a quick buck, which is super exploitative. Today's episode is sponsored by Coinbase. My second biggest regret is not starting my YouTube channel sooner.
Starting point is 00:09:41 My biggest regret is not getting into Bitcoin back when it was like $1. I remember back when Bitcoin was super new, I was interested in it, and I thought about buying some, but I lost interest because I didn't know what to do and it felt a little overwhelming. I really wish that I could have used a site like Coinbase back then. Coinbase is a website that makes it super easy to buy cryptocurrency like Bitcoin and Ethereum. If you're interested in getting into the crypto game yourself, then check out Coinbase. For a limited time, new users can get $10 in free Bitcoin when you sign up today at Coinbase.com. Slash R-slash Podcast. Sign up at Coinbase.com.
Starting point is 00:10:21 Slash R-slash Podcast podcast for $10 and free Bitcoin. This offers for a limited time only, so be sure to sign up today. That's coinbase.com slash rslash podcast. Am I the butthole for getting mad that my tattoo artist hid their initials in my tattoo? Opie, I literally don't even need to read this story because the answer is no, you're not the butthole, they're the butthole. I went to a tattoo shop in my area with a photo of the tattoo that I wanted. It was one that my dad had gotten to honor my past grandfather, whose father also had it.
Starting point is 00:10:55 But the point is, it was important to me that the tattoo looked exactly as it did in the photo. I get to the shop, I explain everything, I pay, get the tattoo, and we're done. I think it looks awesome, everything's great. Until a few weeks later when I show my great-grandmother the tattoo, she's ecstatic, she grabs my arm to look at it and compliment it, then asks, who's AJ? I ask her what she means, and she points out on the tattoo where the initials A and J or maybe T were hidden in the tattoo.
Starting point is 00:11:29 I'm instantly pissed because my artist's name is Alice Trevor. My grandma tries to assure me that it's no big deal if I hadn't noticed it until now, but I still reached out to the artist sort of irritated. They told me the style of art that I got is called traditional and it's pretty traditional for all artists to do that style to sign it. I demanded a partial refund and they refused so I complained to the owner who made the artist give me a full refund. Now the artist is running a full smear campaign talking about moving shops, all kinds of stuff. My sister says that I'm the butthole for pushing the issue, but I feel like at the end of
Starting point is 00:12:08 the day, I told you exactly what I wanted and you didn't do it. So am I the butthole? Okay, so branding someone else's body without their permission feels gross, it feels illegal, it feels unethical, there's like, ugh, it gives me icky feelings. Someone wrote their freaking initials on you without your permission. They're automatically the butthole. I don't care what the context is. Oh, well, it's pretty traditional for people to sign their tattoos in this style.
Starting point is 00:12:35 Like, so? I didn't read the full Wikipedia article on this style of tattoo before I come in. So how am I supposed to know that, right? And then, like, to make this worst, it's not even her design. She didn't even come up with it. She just copied someone else's tattoo, and then signed her name to it. What? OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes.
Starting point is 00:12:56 Alice Trevor gets 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for removing the bedroom lock after my husband ignored a family emergency? Background about my husband, he stays up late at night and has to wake up early to go to work. So when he gets home at 5 p.m., he has to get his two hours nap so he could both make up for the lack of sleep and also be ready to stay up late to play with his console. He values his sleep and has one rule in the house that he enforces strictly, which is to not be interrupted while sleeping. He literally put a sign on the bedroom door
Starting point is 00:13:31 saying, DO NOT wake me up! I can't wake him up under any circumstances, just no, unless someone's hurt or dead. And in that case, he said that he still wouldn't be of much help anyway. The kids and I would sometimes wake him up, but for serious reasons. He got mad and started locking the bedroom door. I can't get access to that room for two hours, but that's not the main problem. This past Tuesday, my three-year-old son had hot oil spill on his hand while his 14-year-old sister was cooking. I heard him scream, and I saw that the oil was covering his hand and half of his arm.
Starting point is 00:14:09 I brought out the first aid kit, but he was in so much pain and his skin looked really bad. I rushed to wake up my husband and I kept knocking on the door, but I got no response, so I tried to open it, but it was locked. I spent a while between knocking on the door and getting dressed after my daughter asked the neighbor to drive us to the hospital. I just couldn't waste any more time because my son was crying. The neighbor took us to the hospital and I couldn't help but feel livid the whole time. We got home and my husband was pacing around asking where we were and why I didn't answer his texts. I blew up on him after I showed him our son's injury and told him that I pounded on the door to
Starting point is 00:14:51 wake him up, but he said that he had his earbuds in and didn't hear a thing. I called him reckless and neglectful for ignoring a family emergency. He said that he could say the same thing about me for leaving our son unsupervised which caused him to get a burn. I stopped arguing and went to remove the bedroom door lock. He started yelling at me saying that I had no right. I refused to respond. I just walked off to calm down. He didn't stop complaining, calling me bossy and saying that by removing the lock, I've
Starting point is 00:15:23 destroyed his peace and quiet and caused him sleep deprivation. He's insisting I put the lock back, but I refused. I could be wrong for what I've done, but I was frustrated and mad. Am I the butthole? Okay, OP, when I first started reading this story, what I thought the situation was was that this was like a hardworking guy who had like two jobs, so he had to come home, get the rest in when he could so we could go out to like his, you know, night shift or whatever, so he can provide for the family.
Starting point is 00:15:51 But nope, this guy is literally sleeping through his kids' life, so he can play video games. He's sleeping you to go to sleep by yourself at the end of the day, so that he can go play video games. Like, the fact that this is the foundation for this story, that he's missed all this trauma, all this like spending time with his family, bonding with his children, teaching his 14-year-old daughter how to cook, supervising his three-year-old boy, just so he can sleep more so he can play video games when everyone else is asleep. It's just disgusting. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love video games. I wanna play as many video games as possible,
Starting point is 00:16:27 but I'm not gonna finish work and then sleep through the evening so that I can spend less time with my family and more time playing Call of Duty or whatever. Then there's the situation of your son getting the Todoroki treatment from my hero academia and getting hot oil spilled all over half his body and his dad is
Starting point is 00:16:45 literally asleep. You have to get the neighbor to drive you to the hospital. God, if that were me, if I were asleep and my wife had to get a neighbor to drive my kid to the hospital, I would hate myself. I would feel so disgusted. But instead, he blames you. What a douchebag. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your husband gets the full 5 out of 5 buttholes. And like just to give people some context because not everyone has been around kids, my daughter is 1 and her bedtime is 7.40pm. So I don't know what the bedtime is like for a 3 year old, it's probably a little bit later, but realistically if he gets home at 5, has to like get dressed, you know, put his keys away. He's probably in bed by 5.30, sleeps until 7.30.
Starting point is 00:17:26 That leaves, what? 15 minutes, 30 minutes to spend time with his son. Let's see if in the point of having a kid, if you're gonna do everything within your power, to not spend time with them. That was our slash of my The Butthole. And if you liked this content, check out my second channel by clicking the link in the description. Also, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcasts episodes every single day. like this content, check out my second channel by clicking the link in the description.
Starting point is 00:17:48 Also, be sure to follow my podcast because I've put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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