rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole for Telling My Girlfriend to Stop Flashing Strangers?

Episode Date: December 28, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP's girlfriend is from an incredibly wealthy family. She's used to growing up around "the help," and as a result she doesn't care too much about flashing some skin.... In fact, she often wears literally nothing in front of workers such as repairmen and drivers. OP thinks that she's being disrespectful by imposing her body on people who don't have a choice, but she thinks that he's being a controlling prude. What do you think?  0:00 Intro 0:08 GF is nearly naked around strangers 4:54 The towel 8:08 I ruined thanksgiving 11:31 Treat yourself 14:46 PS5 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to R-Slash, am I the butthole, where OP Begs' girlfriend stopped showing her employees her naked body? Am I the butthole for telling my girlfriend to cover up her body when strangers enter the home? I am fully aware the title sounds sexist, but hear me out, please. My girlfriend comes from a wealthy background, and she grew up with maids, chefs, showfers, etc. I was raised in a completely opposite environment, and I'm still adjusting to dating someone like her. When we're not with her parents, we spend a lot of time at one of her apartments. At one of her apartments, jeez. Here's the issue.
Starting point is 00:00:36 My girlfriend likes to walk around home, barely wearing anything, which is fine. Awesome, even. But she does this even when the help is around. For example, last month her family hired a new driver for her. He stopped by the apartment to introduce himself. My girlfriend was only wearing underwear. Keep in mind, this is the first time they met in person. I felt awkward, he was visibly awkward,
Starting point is 00:01:02 and she didn't care at all. She was casually chatting at him while just scrolling away on her phone. She does this all the time. She doesn't think that she needs to wear any decent amount of clothes at all when people that work for her are around. She'll just casually walk around wearing just a thong or a tiny crop top, just a crop top, nothing else. She even does this with complete strangers. One time she opened the door for the delivery guy wearing only a see-through gown. You could see everything.
Starting point is 00:01:32 Afterwards I talked to her about it, and she was utterly confused as to why I felt uncomfortable. Then she laughed and told me to stop being a jealous baby. She even said that I'm the one being unreasonable. We had another discussion about this yesterday, and I told her that she probably wouldn't feel comfortable if I did the same. She said that she doesn't understand why I care what her staff thinks, and that it never even crosses her mind that this is inappropriate. She told me that she only does this in the comfort of her own home and not in front of quote actual people, i.e. people that don't work for her. She got kind of mad at me and vented to her friends. According
Starting point is 00:02:11 to all of them, I'm weird for having a problem with this and I'm a butthole for telling my girlfriend to cover up. Somehow, I'm the villain of this story. Am I really the butthole? Okay, so based on my reading of this story, it doesn't even sound like the problem here is jealousy. It sounds like the problem is that your girlfriend isn't treating other people with even baseline respect. I mean, there's always a sort of like underlying idea of like, oh, this girl's naked
Starting point is 00:02:40 and she's letting the boys have a pee. Isn't that like funny and kinky and kind of naughty? I mean, yeah, it is if that person is into it, but there's bound to be people who aren't into it. And that's like, that's like the fundamental role of like sex stuff, right? Everyone involved has to be consenting and over 18, of course. That's the other very important role. There's two important roles, okay? Over 18 and consenting. And when you just forced your nudity on other people,
Starting point is 00:03:09 then you remove the consenting part of it, which is sucky, it just is. And so at that point, it doesn't become about the jealousy or even about being rude to other people. It's about what this behavior is saying about the type of person that your girlfriend is. And your girlfriend just straight up sounds like kind of a sucky person. She sounds classist and entitled and spoiled and just mean, just not nice, not a considerate person. And yeah, OP, of course, of course, of course, her friends are gonna back her up because that's what, that's what young girls do. I'm guessing by this story that she's probably on the younger side, like maybe around the 18 to 25 range, I would guess. So yeah, they're gonna...girl support girls, like that's not surprising there, but just because all of her friends say, oh my god, you're the butthole, does not
Starting point is 00:03:57 make you the butthole OP. I think you are completely justified. I think that you're correct here. Like, we haven't even addressed the whole side of the equation. We're just you as her partner, you're not comfortable about this. So shouldn't she consider your feelings, but she's not. She's saying, oh, well, deal with it. And I mean, I guess she has that right. It's her body, but if she's gonna make a decision where she says,
Starting point is 00:04:21 I'm that she's gonna show off her body to other strangers that she doesn't know against her wishes, then she has to understand that that's going to upset you. And she can't say that you're weird or you're a butthole for being uncomfortable that you're showing off her body. That's that's that's a very reasonable thing to be upset about OP. OP I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your girlfriend two out of five buttholes. I have a sneaking suspicion OP that what you're seeing here is just the tip of a giant entitlement and out of touch iceberg. Am I the butthole for unpacking my girlfriend's towel? I'm a 31-year-old guy and I've been dating my 25-year-old girlfriend for about two years. My girlfriend has beautiful hair that seems a lot more low maintenance than most women
Starting point is 00:05:07 I know. She doesn't use like 100 different hair products, nor does she blow dry it. It honestly doesn't take her long to style her hair or anything. However, she always insists on using the special towel to dry her hair. She insists that she can't use any regular towel for her hair. She gets mad if I use her hair towel as a regular towel too. She says the towel should only be used for her hair. She even bought an extra one of these towels that she keeps in her drawer at my place.
Starting point is 00:05:33 She also takes the towel with her whenever she goes on vacation. I usually don't mind it since the towel doesn't take up much space and it's better than listening to a hair dryer all the time. But it's weird because I don't know anyone else who has a towel just for their hair. For Thanksgiving we traveled to see my family. Before the trip, I asked my girlfriend to leave her a towel at home since we'd be staying at my parents house. I didn't want my family to think she was weird or make fun of her.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Since we planned to leave early in the morning, my girlfriend spent the night at my place. I noticed that she packed the towel that she kept at my place in her suitcase. When she was asleep, I took the towel out. She didn't notice a towel was gone until we got to my parents house. I thought it was okay, and my girlfriend didn't seem mad at all during the whole trip. However, when we got back at my place, my girlfriend got into her car and drove off without saying goodbye. She texted me later saying that she's mad at me because of that stupid towel and she needs some space. I keep calling and texting her, but she won't respond. My friends think that she's being overly dramatic, but my girlfriend isn't that type of person. Now I'm wondering if I messed
Starting point is 00:06:39 up. Am I the butthole? Opie, I don't understand why you're so weirded out by your girlfriend having a favorite towel. Like, who cares? And you think your family's gonna make fun of her by using a towel that she likes? I mean, I have a favorite cereal bowl. It doesn't make me weird. It just means I like this one cereal bowl more than any other cereal bowl.
Starting point is 00:07:01 Like, what's with this super-spice sneaking around, like smuggling the towel out of her suitcase? Because you're too ashamed that your family could know that your girlfriend has a special a hair towel, like, dude, who cares? Who cares? And just to be clear, OP, your girlfriend isn't giving you space over a stupid towel. Your girlfriend is giving you space because you're the type of person to secretly go into her suitcase while she's asleep and take stuff out without telling her so that she doesn't have the things that she likes because you're self-conscious about a special towel. Oh my god, dude, are you jealous of a towel? Is that what's going on here?
Starting point is 00:07:47 It's like, if you're so petty, if you're such like a weird person that you won't even let your girlfriend have a towel, then what other basic choice would basic right will you deny your girlfriend just because you're a jerk about it? Hope you I'm giving you 1.5 out of 5 buttholes, your girlfriend gets 0 out of 5 buttholes. Honestly dude, grow up. Am I the butthole for ruining Thanksgiving? I'm a 30 year old woman and I met my boyfriend who's also 33 years ago. Before me, he was together with his high school sweetheart.
Starting point is 00:08:19 They fell out of love and broke up. A year later, we started dating. His mom, however, was still heartbroken about it. I was very understanding and thought she needed time to get to know me. The ex basically grew up with them and they saw her as part of the family. For the first year of my relationship, his mom would call me his ex's name. Until my boyfriend got angry once and told her to be nice, she laughed it off and said it was just a habit.
Starting point is 00:08:46 After that, she started calling me by the wrong name. For example, she would call me Janet when my name is Jenny. I corrected her a couple of times, but she seemed to like hurting me, so I ignored it. My boyfriend has two sisters, and a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving, we were invited to barbecue at one of the older sister's house. I was in the kitchen with my boyfriend's mom, the sisters, and one of their husbands. The older sister then talked about how my boyfriend praised my cooking to her husband, and the mom was listening. The mom then set out loud.
Starting point is 00:09:16 Sure, why don't we let Janet make the turkey this year? The sisters giggled and looked at each other and said, That's a great idea. I didn't tell my boyfriend what happened. On Thanksgiving, we went to his mom's house with the usual wine and dessert. She was shocked. Everybody was shocked. I said, What? I thought Janet was bringing the turkey. There was yelling, crying, and then we got kicked out. My boyfriend is so angry with me and he hasn't talked to me since. I think it's over to be honest. But I still don't think that I did anything wrong, did I?
Starting point is 00:09:50 Okay, so personally, I think that getting someone's name wrong is one of the worst insults that you can do to someone verbally. Like people throw around curse words and F you, you mother, F for, you bottle, whatever. I mean, curse words are kind of cheap, but if you use someone's own name against them intentionally wrong calling them by the wrong name or calling them by an ex's name or something that is to me like one of the most one of the deepest ways you can insult someone verbally. I mean that's your own name that's your identity it's who you are and they're using your own name, your own identity against you, and that's just that's cruel and wrong and
Starting point is 00:10:27 OP you have every right to be upset about it. Honestly OP, if I were in your shoes, I would have done the exact same thing. I mean yeah, Janet was supposed to bring the turkey and your name's Jenny so what's the problem? OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving the mother-in-law three out of five buttles. I'm giving the sisters, I think two out of five buttles because based on this story, it sounds like they were like in on the plan and on the scheming and they definitely joined in and teasing you, which is pretty harsh even though they didn't start it. And honestly, I'm also giving your boyfriend three out of five buttles because if I took
Starting point is 00:11:03 my partner to visit my family and meet my family for the first time and my mother continuously called my girlfriend by the wrong name, I would have a straight sit down conversation with my mom and say get her name right or this is the last time you're ever gonna see us. And yeah, he did defend you but clearly not well enough because she kept doing it and then she just kind of changed tactic and he clearly just doesn't really care that much, so I'm giving him three out of five buttholes as well. Am I the butthole for only spoiling myself? My parents adored my older sister, Elle.
Starting point is 00:11:38 I was the oops baby they had later in life. Growing up, I was well aware that my older sister was a star of the show. I wasn't abused, just ignored. For example, my sister had a huge party every year, and the one year that I wanted one, my 16th birthday, my parents basically let her take it over and ended up being all about her. I always felt like I was second best. When it was time for college, my folks told me that I was on my own because L-switch majors, so they had to spend more money on her degree. It was up to me to figure it out myself. Luckily, I had good grades.
Starting point is 00:12:15 I applied for grants and scholarships and I left two days after high school graduation. I've been low contact since. Through hard work, counseling, and good friends. I'm pretty happy with the person I am today. I own my own home and I have a retirement plan, so I enjoy spoiling myself, a nice car, vacations with friends, etc. I often post our adventures on social media. This is important.
Starting point is 00:12:39 After seven years of not speaking to me, my mom reached out to me and invited me to Thanksgiving. I went more out of curiosity than hopes of reconciliation, but I had an open mind. When I arrived, Elle was there. That college degree never happened. She's currently posting stuff on TikTok waiting to become a viral star. In the meantime, she's living with our parents. After dinner, my mom mentioned that she started following me on Facebook and saw what a nice life I had.
Starting point is 00:13:09 Elle made the comment that it must be nice to have money to throw away and ignore your familiar responsibilities. My mom co-signed this nonsense. Stating that since I was doing so well, I should be helping out, especially since she and dad are so close to retirement age. The house needs work and Elle could use a little help because family helps family. They said I should start pitching in to ease the burden.
Starting point is 00:13:32 Here's where I might be the butthole. I told mom that she and dad bet on the wrong horse, and that I don't know her, him, are my delusional sibling a damn thing, and then I left and blocked them. Am I the butthole for not even considering helping out since I have a healthy amount of disposable income? Am I the butthole further for thinking the invite was nothing more than the opening salvo to get money? OP, you said that you weren't abused, just ignored,
Starting point is 00:13:59 but that's still abuse. Neglect, child neglect is a form of child abuse. So ignoring a child and showing favoritism to other siblings and just not showing a child any love or giving a child any support or... Pfft. Opie, I'm really sorry this happened to you because honestly what your parents did to you was straight up literal child abuse. And no abuse children don't owe their child abusers a damn thing, so you get zero out of five buttholes. Your entire family, including your sibling,
Starting point is 00:14:33 gets five out of five buttholes. Like, I don't see why they're coming to you for help. They've invested all this time, money, and love into their golden child, so maybe they're little tick-tock viral star can support them when they get older. Am I the butthole for giving the PlayStation 5 that my husband bought to my nephew? I'm a 35 year old woman and my husband is 37. I discovered the other day that he had bought a PlayStation 5 as a
Starting point is 00:14:57 gift for himself, but the thing is he used my money to do so without my permission. Using a portion of my emergency savings that he had access to in case of, you know, an emergency. And I do not believe that being able to get your hands on a new video game console classifies as an emergency. This led to a huge argument and I took the console away and re-boxed it up. I debated returning it to the shop for the money, but I know that my sister has been struggling to find one for my 13-year-old nephew for over a year. So,
Starting point is 00:15:30 instead, I wrapped it up, took it over to my sister's place, put it under the tree, and quietly explained what it was, and what it happened. My sister then gave me the money for it. My husband went ballistic, shouting, and demanding that I go get it back, which, of course, I refuse to do. Telling him that since it had been bought with MY money, it was MY choice what happened to it. He's now sulking and refusing to talk to me and acting like a huge child. For anyone curious about our money situation and why I'm so angry, we each put half of
Starting point is 00:16:03 our salary into a communal family fund for the house, bills, groceries, etc. The other half of our salary is ours to play with as we want. My husband always blows through his and never saves a penny. Half of my expendable money goes into savings for emergencies because I'm more realistic. OP, if you had not told me how old your husband was, and you had not told us that he's your husband, if you would just said that this is a male family member, then I would have assumed that this was like a probably like 16 or 17 year old nephew or son or someone in like that capacity because the way that your husband is acting in this story is straight up like an angsty entitled teenage boy.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Like the dude has a job. The dude makes money. Spend your own money on a PlayStation 5. Why is he stealing money from his wife? Secretly to buy a PlayStation 5 when he can just buy one himself. And then he's gonna, no, why'd you give my PlayStation 5 away, wifey? I wanted to play video games. Oh my god, give me a break.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Oh P, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Easy, your husband gets, I'll say, 3 out of 5 buttholes. He's being a complete man, baby. That was Arslasha Mitha Butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.